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i need some type of help
my family... sometimes treats me as if i dont do anything for them and rite now my grandmother is in the hospital i found out 3 weeks after she was there im always the last to find out especially when its important and i hate it... i dont live with them i havent lived at home for a good 2 years already... and im tired of getting treated like i dont do anything and my family always tells me im a part of the family and what effects me will effect them but i dont know... am i wrong?? everyone treats me like garbage and i feel its not fair... i know im supposed to be giving becuz of the time of year.. what should i do?? how can i come off nice about the way i feel without it hurting all my loved ones???
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Are you the youngest child, or relative? I am sure that you are not being treated as badly as you think- sometimes the youngest in the family are the last ones to find out about important things; trust me, I would know. Your family does care about you. After all, they did tell you that what affects you, affects them. As for the hospital incident, they might have been so caught up about what was going on with your grandmother, that they did not think to pull you in the middle of it. And as the columnist below mentioned, they might not have wanted to put a burden on you.
My guess is that since you already live away from home (college, perhaps), and might have to deal with school/work, it did not occur to them to get you involved right away. At the same time, three weeks is quite long, and they really should have informed you a lot earlier- she's your grandmother. For your own sake, let your family know how you feel, and try not to bottle things up inside. You should start by saying that you were hurt that you did not find out about your grandmother until a few weeks after she was taken to the hospital. Just let them know how you feel about how you are treated. It might be in your head, or it might not. Regardless, you will have to be mature, and not turn this into something that would come across as yelling or whining. Just tell them, firmly and plainly, that you would like for them to let you know about important things that are going on, and that you feel you are not included in the family as much as you deserve to be. If they are understanding, they will reassure you, and try to do something about it. All the best.
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Have you tried looking at your family and saying "why am I always the last to know?" Sometimes they don't know they're leaving you out, or think that they might be burdening you with things.
You have to tell them that you don't like how you're being treated or it'll never change. The nice way to do it is just ask why you're the last to know and emphasize that you have a real interest in your family and what's going on with them.
Hope that helped. I know it's a little vague but the best way to approach families varies from family to family.
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