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i feel raped but wasnt?
15/f
so i met these 2 guys at the gym and they asked me to hang out and i said okay so i hung out with them last night. my friend supposedly has met them before at a party though and one of them tried to rape her and stuff but she got away, but i went anyway because im not sure if thats completly true. so they are both 18 in college and we went to a pool and we did hookah and we were drinking vodka and they kept trying to get me to drink more (sketchy?) and two of us were really drunk and so we started making out and i barely remember anything all i know is that now im really really sore 'down there', but i vagualy remember him saying we werent going to do it because he didnt have a condom? but i dont think i would have been okay with doing that, i am/was a virgin and now i just feel really gross and i don't know what to do. they have a history of raping or trying to rape girls, so could he have done that to me and i just dont remember cause i was so drunk or was it just fingering? please help i don't know what to think or anything!!!
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Based on what you have written you were most likely raped by those boys, in fact you probably were. Because you were drunk they cannot claim you consented, just how drunk you were or if they used a date rape drug, depending on how long ago this happened, may still be able to be determined by blood tests. Depending on the Laws where you live someone who is 18 having sex with a 15 year old is committing Statutory Rape as you are considered a minor and not capable of consenting. The 18 year old is also guilty of contributing to the delinquency of a minor if they claim you did consent. It is one of those flukes in the law.
Here is what I believe you should do:
1. You need to tell your parents what happened. Remember you were raped; this is not anything you brought on yourself. So yes your parents are going to be upset and most likely will even get very angry. Their anger will not be directed at you but at the boys who raped you.
2. Call the police and file a criminal complaint. Hopefully you have not washed the clothes and under garments you were wearing, specifically your panties.
3. Go to the nearest hospital for an examination. The police will most likely want to send someone with you. This is a chain of evidence thing so allow them to do so. You say you were a virgin before this happened to you. The exam will confirm your loss of virginity.
4. Get some counseling: Depending on where you live there should be a National Rape crisis hot line you can call that will put you in touch with counselors in your community. Most likely the police or hospital will offer you this information when you see them. Even though you say you don't remember what happened your sub-conscience does, so get some counseling to help you avoid some of the problems this type of violation can bring on.
Most importantly is you need the love and support of your family at this time. As I stated at the beginning; I am old enough to be your grandfather; if you were my daughter or granddaughter I would first hope nothing like this would ever happen to you. If it did I would want you to feel you could come to me for help. The most important job as a parent or even a grandparent is to protect my children and grandchildren.
You were raped; you did not ask to be raped and nothing you could possibly do could cause you to be raped. The fault for this falls all on the two boys. They must be made to pay for their crime. Your friend did nothing when they tried to rape her. If you do nothing they will rape again. I know it will be trying on you to go through the legal process to bring them to justice, but if you show resolve they may want to avoid a trial and the harsher penalties that come with one.
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The chances that you were raped are extremely high considering the history that these two men have. They have tried or have raped girls in the past. Your friend warned you about them, but you went with them anyways. You knew better before you hung out with them, but decided not to listen. Now you see why you should have. I'm not going to lecture you though.
Anyways, chance are - you were raped. It would've been rape anyway because you were drunk & you wouldn't remember if it was consensual or not. They more than likely slipped something into your drink when you weren't looking. That drug is called a Rohypnol. It's used as a sedative, and is mainly known as the "Date Rape Drug."
I suggest you tell an adult. Tell your parents & go get yourself checked out by a doctor to make sure that you're not pregnant or that you have any STD's. You also need to call the police. These 2 men broke many laws when spending time with you. Smoking, underage drinking, attempting or committing rape, etc. You need to call the police ASAP though because rape is a serious matter, and also has evidence that wears off quickly. Call the cops & put these 2 behind bars where they belong.
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Unfortunately, those two scumbags are the only ones who know exactly what happened, since you were supposedly too drunk to remember anything. How drunk were you, really? They could have slipped something in your drink. Do not keep this to yourself- tell a trusted adult, or at least a nurse who can guide you in the right direction. If they did, in fact, even TRY to rape you, they can be arrested.
Now, down to the details. Do you honestly think that someone who has a history of raping/trying to rape girls is going to be honest with you? Saying that they would not try anything, since they didn't have a condom, is total bullshit. Nothing would get in their way- they don't give half a shit about you. Also, a HUGE warning sign is that these two tried to rape your friend before at a party- "supposedly??" NO. Shit like that does not "supposedly" happen.
LISTEN. You HAVE to do the following- don't think that you can put all this behind you, and that it won't bother you years down the line. It can, and it will. What you have to do now, is look after yourself. You cannot allow them to get away with their bullshit- it can happen to other girls too, you know.
so,:
1) File a police report immediately. Any and all details you have can help (i.e., their age, names, what they look like, what gym you saw them at, and what do you remember from that night). Think long and hard about ALL the details you can possibly think of, and do NOT keep anything to yourself.
2) Please, if you haven't already, DO NOT wash yourself down there just yet. Whatever you have with you can possibly help- clothes, etc., Go to a gyno/doctor/nurse or whatever, get thoroughly examined. They can find traces of semen as supporting evidence, cause honey, these two might have raped you.
3) Tell someone- a counselor, trusted parent/adult, friend. You need support. You might be in denial or shock now, but this might come back to hurt you down the line.
4) Go get plan B (morning after pill at a clinic or planned parenthood- better safe than sorry)- it is effective up to 3 days after unprotected sex. Then, assuming this is a recent incident, wait about 2 weeks, and go get a pregnancy test at the doctor's office, gyno., or planned parenthood or other free clinic.
5) Get screened for STD's- no matter how worried/scared you are. If you got something, it might not even have symptoms, and can cause irreversible damage to your reproductive organs if left untreated. Get tested for Gonorrhea, Chlamydia, Herpes, etc...all you have to do is go to planned parenthood or your gyno, and ask for STD screening- they'll ask some questions, and do a swab and urine test.
6) After 6 months, GO get tested for HIV- with guys like them, you never know. Many clinics offer free testing.
You do not know anything about these guys aside from the fact that they're 18 and in college. All the warning signs indicate that you may very well have been raped: they tried to rape your friend (people don't just make that shit up), you feel sore down there---- and honey, guys like them, why would they care about only fingering you?? they were with you PURELY for their OWN benefit---getting laid. , you felt SORE. Please wake up, you were probably raped. This is a good commentary on an online newspaper (Guardian, UK), by a woman who was raped, and too drunk/traumatized:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
I know how hard this is on you, but you have to do something (well, lots of things). Seriously, if it helps, make a checklist, or even print out this advice. Literally do everything that I suggested, one by one. Think of it this way: if you keep this to yourself, you are only allowing them, and guys like them, to get away with their shit...which means more girls to screw over. For future reference- avoid sketchy guys like them AT ALL COSTS. They're only bad news.
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