I'll give advice to anyone I think I can help in any way. Ask away.
Gender: Female
Location: England
Occupation: Student/ General Know-It-All
Age: 22
Member Since: August 17, 2005
Answers: 297
Last Update: January 22, 2011
Visitors: 23363
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I'm usually not self-consience about myself, but anyways...My penis is a little more than six inches (when hard), and I know that it is a little above average or close enough. But when I take a shower in the locker room, my penis is really soft and it's really embarrising. I can't get hard or make it longer because, well, sweaty guys don't exactly turn me on. What should I do? And I don't want to hear not to take a shower, because I do not really want to go the rest of the day sweaty and smelly. (link)
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For a start the majority of guys in the locker room do not really want to see you hard- that would be far more cause for talk than someone having a small dick.
Secondly all the guys in the locker room have a dick too. This means they KNOW that the size when it's down has little bearing on the size when it's up. (As, incidentally, does any girl with even the tiniest bit of experience).
Thirdly and finally there is no reason on earth for these guys to care how big you are because it is never going to affect them and commenting on it would raise more questions about him than about you such as "Dude, why the hell are you looking?".
Relax
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so i'll start by telling you a bit about myself.
i am 15 f. i don't want to sound arrogant but yes, i am popular which is why i don't get what is going on. I am vasrity cheerleader as a sophmore and have no trouble w/ guys and have alot of girl friends. so this is my question...
i got into a figth with this girl and it got bad, but girls are catty. she tried to ruin my reputation, but i ruined her life =] i got her kicked off of class vice president and her friends hate her. but to be fair, she really deserved it im not kidding. she posted pictures of me that were like edited and crap to make it look like i was naked, like photocopying my head onto the pic or w/e. and posted it on alot of the lockers. idk why she did it, shes just jealous b/c im dating her ex bf. seems to me like SHES the sociopath not me...
so after this i got in trouble, the school sent me to a therapist to talk about why i act the way i do. he diagnosed me a sociopath. But um... sociopaths are psycho anti-socials and im the center of attention. Im not a freak, i love shopping and guys and they say just b/c im a little decieving and like it my way, makes me a sociopath???
can somebody please explain to me how a popular varsity cheerleader can be a sociopath because i am way not antisocial. (link)
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People seem to have got into the habit of throwing around words like "sociopath" when in fact sociopaths in the sense that most people would define them (i.e. having literally NO regard or compassion for ANYBODY but themselves) are very rare indeed.
If what you've said is the full story then your therapist has jumped to huge conclusions that are usually, as someone's already said, reserved for adults. This is due to the fact that as toddlers just about everyone is a "sociopath" only concerned with doing things in order to get what we want and need. It can take a long time to properly develop a social conscience and a lot of it comes through experience.
At 15 yeah you're probably selfish and from your story you're certainly vindictive but that's pretty par for the course and judging you purely by how you act towards someone you dislike who's gone out of her way to offend you is hardly a fair representation of your overall character. (N.B. EVERYBODY likes it their way.)
Having said all that no-one on here can tell you whether you are or are not a sociopath according to the psychiatric definition because we've never met you but personally i don't have a lot of time for psychiatry or "therapy" as it stand at the moment anyway. It's a very shaky, inexact science and often labels are slapped on people based on the opinion of an individual who is never going to be completely objective by virtue of being a person themselves.
Go to a few other therapists (preferably a genuine psychiatrist complete with an MD. Someone calling themselves a "therapist" may not necessarily have the same training or knowledge of metal disorders) if you want this sociopath label contested. I'm willing to bet if you go to 3 different people you'll get 3 different opinions.
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I am having this after party after my school dance and a lot of people are coming. Except this one girl, she has been so rude and mean and bitchy to me and she NEVER talks to me. But now she expects to be invited. Her two freinds who were invited, (who i'm freinds with) won't come unless she is invited, and I want them to come. My question is, should I invite this girl and be the bigger person? Or not invite her? (link)
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I'll say from experience that being the bigger person and inviting someone you don't like will usually just end up screwing up your party. It's not going to be much fun if she sits there bitching all night.
Don't invite her and let the other two girls do what they want. It's their loss if they don't come.
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I was invited to a large party that takes place this weekend. I said that I'd go, because of the occasion and the person who is throwing it, but I really do not want to stay for a long time. First of all, I am not much of a party person. I usually just sit there by myself while being bored out of my mind. Second of all, I'm not much of a people person. There are going to be a LOT of people there. I really don't want to have to be around that many people for too long, especially since I hate most of them. Normally I leave parties with the excuse of not feeling well or something like that, but certain people (although not everyone) are starting to catch on. I need some good excuses to leave a party that do not involve being sick. (link)
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Yeah I hear ya on this. Being in a small room with a bunch of people you hate is never fun. A good excuse is that you're supposed to babysit at, say 9. That way it's only an hour you have to stay and you'll only be there at the start when people still haven't all arrived.
If not babysitting then just make sure it fits the following criteria:
-A prior engagement you tell the host(ess) about before the party so it doesn't look so fake
-Something going on that evening. That way people won't try to persuade you to stay later as they might if you said you had to get up early next day.
So relatives coming over or a shift at a work if you have a job work too.
Funny but if you know you only have to be there an hour you'll probably end up having more fun thn you usually would.
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okay well i weigh around 117 pounds and im about, 5'4. I am turning 15 this year. I am convinced that im fat, i hate myself for it too, i watch what i eat 24/7 and even though people tell me im not, i still feel that i am. I am probley one of the most self concious people. so i guess im asking about what i should weigh (link)
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You are exactly on the ideal weight for someone your age and height. You are utterly healthy and certainly not overweight.
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I have to do a play review for my drama class. I live in Toronto, Ontairo, Canada. I don't have a whole lot of money and the review is due at the beginning of June. Any sugesstions? Thanks in advance. I will rate high. (link)
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Go and see a student production organised and performed by college students. Much cheaper and will give you a ready-made angle to approach your review from
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ok so my exboyfriend whent on a trip this weekend and he got drunk and went skinny dipping w/ his friend and her sister and ended up having sex w/ both of them cuz he liked both the girls. he told me because he has some feelings left for me but i cant trust him i know i cant ive been trying to get him to stop drinking for ever and its reasons like this that make me try to get him to stop so he doesnt do anything stupid which he already did. he feels bad about it but he already did it! what can he change now? and i had a really strong feeling the night that it happened that he had done something he would regret. lately ive been missing him and considering taking him back but what do i do now? i odviously cant trust him. please help!! (link)
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You're absolutely right-you can't trust him again. Not only has he cheated on you, he's done it repeatedly. He still has "some" feelings left for you- not good enough to be with you. Plus he's not even making an effort to get back with you. Harsh as it sounds he probably knows tha you'll come running back to him and takes you back more as a convenience measure until some other girl he wants to screw comes along. You deserve much better than all of that. Perhaps being with this guy has sapped your self-esteem so much you can't see it.
Keep busy and don't let yourself miss this total waste of space who almost certainly doesn't truly miss you. Find people, girls and guys, who treat you with respect and loyalty and concentrate on having fun without the worry that someone's out cheating on you. Let your friends help you and be there to reassure you when it gets hard and make this summer all about you being free and happy.
Good Luck
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I've been with my boyfriend for a year now. I'm completely in love with him, and he seems to be in love with me as well. And, well, just recently another girl has popped into his life. He has emotions for her that he is trying to hide, though he has admitted and I know that they're there -- But he won't act on these emotions because "he doesnt want to hurt me."
Now, when I imply that I am going to back away so he can just continue on and be with another girl, he doesn't let me. He gets scared. Like he wants to keep me close.
And part of me wants to just let him be with this girl because I can't be happy knowing he likes someone else, and is still with me. But at the same time, i don't even have it in me to let him go and see him with someone else. It would just crush me.
What should I do :( (link)
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Whatever the rights or wrongs of the situation the key thing is "I can't be happy knowing he likes someone else, and is still with me". If you can't be happy with this guy, in this situation you need to get out or at least give yourself some space before coming to a permanent decision.
Him being scared of not having you around is not a good enough reason for either of you to stay and you need to put your long-term happiness ovr short-term however hard that is.
Being apart for a while might help him put things in perspective too- does he really want this girl or is it just a crush he's blown out of proportion?Either way, staying in this limbo isn't going to solve the problem and i think you need to be strong and put some distance between you for a while no matter what he says. It's not fair to you.
hope this works out the way you want it
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At school I have liked many girls and everyone shoots me down. Mostof them tell me that I could be cool enough to go out with them if I didn't hang around with the nerds. I am not a nerd but I hang out with them because they're nicer than the popular people I could hang out with. Every time I tell A girl that they still shoot me down. What should I do? (link)
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Find nicer girls.
In a few years most of them will grow out of judging everyone but what social "level" they hang around with so you could either wait around for that or look around at the girls, perhaps in the "nerds" who have already let go of the crippling fear of being uncool. Short of ditching your friends (which i'd suggest is not a good idea) these are really your only two options as you will not change these girls' minds right now.
This kind of crap won't last forever.
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This question is a little bit long, but I used good grammer so it's readable!
I'm really in a bad situation. I just got broken up with by a guy who I was with for over a year and it's been 3 weeks ever since and all I've felt like doing is drinking alcohol or anything that I can find. I've never drank before, so these are weird feelings for me. I've heard that when you drink, for a while you are numb, and for the longest time I've always thought that if I could have at least one moment with all of my problems forgotten, I'd do whatever it takes and it's so true for me. I can't stop wanting to do something extreme like cutting, or drinking or not eating. What I'm really looking for is something to numb the pain in the moment. Like a drug or something that I can run to when I get depressed. Lately, I've been 'sleeping in' to forget about everything and I'm in love with sleep and I feel addicted to it. I know these feelings aren't good and I'm really scared for the next time I get depressed that I will take extreme actions.
I'm a 15 year old female by the way
Thank you, anything can help me at this point and I'll be sure to get back to you with rating! (link)
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Eveything I say here is going to sound a bit weak but i can vouch for them working at least to some extent.
Firstly is there anyone you can talk to who you totally trust to just listen to you and take of you for a while? Talking it out with someone like that is a really good start and if you have someone like that in your life you're very lucky. If not, pouring it out to a random stranger can help(kinda like you're doing here i guess) or put it in a web journal.
Second allow yourself some moping time then GO OUT. Even if you don't feel like it go and hang out with your friends and make a concious effort to enjoy yourself
which leads to the nest point- be nice to yourself. Whatever that means for you, just indulge yourself in doing things you love for a while and don't let anyone make you feel guilty about it. Remember that you're doing it because you deserve it and deserve to feel happy.
Hope you feel better soon.
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Do you think it's necessary to know your partners past sexual experience? Would you want to know? Would it bother you? I learned from personal exp. never to ask, yet I found out how much experience my girlfriend has had accidently and when I confronted her about it she didn't deny it. Something changed with me when she admitted it. I feel really insecure about it now. I hate finding out. What would you do?? (link)
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I can understand how it would make you feel that way but try to remember that everyone has a past (be honest- don't you too?)and that all this happened before she met you. She was growing up and learning and if her past wasn't what it was she wouldn't be the person she is, that you love, today.
I know it's hard to see this way but if she's had a lot of experience then she's chosen to be with you with her eyes open, knowing that you're right for her instead of wandering into a relationship with you with nothing to compare it to.
If anything you're more secure with her because she knows what else is out there and still chose you.
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Its from the reporter outside the islands point of view.
so like.. a journalist lol
thanks soooo much! (link)
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ok well in that case think about what someone outside the island could possibly know without being there, what signs would be visible to a land across sea. Don't fall into the trap of assuming more knowledge than they could have!
So you could put in Simon's body having washed up on another shore, the fact that the outside world knows that a passenger aircraft crashed on the island (you could add in that the outside world has not yet found a safe way to reach the survivors or something to justify why they've been left there) and that the fire seen burning suggests suvivors but who and how many is unclear.
Perhaps you could make this article sound like it's an update on an on-going situation like they've been reporting on the fact there are people on the island for some time and that the newest development is the finding of Simon's body (though obviously the reporter would not know his name first-hand- perhaps she got it from an official source). Treat it as a big sensational thing that there has clearly been a brutal murder on this island that has shocked the public to its core and increased concern for the welfare of those trapped on it. Make the island sound like a place shrouded in sinister mystery and perhaps mention something along the lines of having no information about who is leading and rallying the shipwrecked but it clearly being an individual or individuals of immense strength and brutality. They'll like it if you can give distorted points of view of actually events and situations in the book in the form of how it would appear to an outsider.
Phew, hope that helped!
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Okay so for engish coursework i have to create a news paper article on 'Lord of the FLies'.
Ive designed my layout but i REALLY REALLY don't know what to write :| i really need some help and would be sooo greatful.
Im struggling with news type language.. if you understand what i mean.. i've taken a look at some local papers for ideas but i still don't know :(
i need some help on:
the main text (i have to write about 200 words
so any bullet points would be a great help):)
a headline
sub-headline
5's ALL ROUND! AND I WILL RECCOMEND YOU TO ALL :)
PLEASE... :):) yours truely... stuck xx
(link)
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Awesome I did this book at GCSE and loved it. Ok so newswpaper article from who's point of view? Are you kind of pretending to be a reporter from outside the island commenting on it or are you writing an article from an English student point of view (i.e.: yours)? Message me in my inbox and let me know and i'll help you out.
God knows why i love doing other people's homework so much more than my own :)
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Is this weird or not? My ex liked babysitting kids for like hours at his church. He never wanted to spend time with me. Plus he told me he was sexually molested by some guy at his church, which to me makes it even freakier he likes watching these kids. (link)
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Well don't jump the gun. The answer given at the bottom of this page that "he is probably molesting them" is a pretty nuts conclusion to draw from the small amount of information you've given.
For a start this guy probably needs to get some help about his own experiences, could you possibly encourage him to do that?
Secondly it's possible he just feels protective towards these kids because of what happened to him or even that it reminds him of a time before he was molested. Either way ask if you can go with him sometime to set your mind at rest or see what's going on for yourself and/or talk to him about why he likes spending so much time with these kids.
Thirdly regardless of whether his spending time with these kids is suspect or not if he doesn't want to spend any time with you, you're best out of tht relationship- everyone needs to be appreciated and at least feel worth their partner's time.
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I know getting a make-over for a guy is doing it for the wrong reasons!! But it's not like that, I'm not doing this so he'll want me. I'm doing it as a "thank you" for wanting me when I was ugly. He ALWAYS liked me for me. Never cared when people said "you're so hott, why date an ugly chick?" And I love him for it. But now, prom is almost here, in 4 weeks, and I want to blow his mind. I want to be drop dead GORGOUS, show off in front of his friends, make him proud, make people jelous of him, give him the attention he deserves and so on..
So how do I do this? How do I lose weight, get white teeth, get a tan,learn how to wear/put on make-up, be confident/sexy, and so on..in just 1 month?
Any advice would help! On any step of the make-over!! Have you ever had one? How'd it go? What did you do? Annnyyttthiing people :D
Thank you folks ;) (link)
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oo exciting! Well hey the easiest way to be confident is remember all the stuff you just said- he likes you for you, you are completely deserving of his attention for who you are alone so this make over's just going to be the icing on the cake.
The losing weight thing's really not a big deal- you'll look good so long as you're at a natural size for you so just eat reasonably healthily and exercise a few times a week (i find the best exercise is fun stuff like dancing and swimming rather than gym crap).
Tanning is the easy part- fake it. depending on your budget you could get a spray tan professionally done or use bottled stuff. If you're fair skinned get one made for fair skin and apply it a few times until you're as brown as you'd like- beware the orange glow! Nivea Sun is a good one. Exfoliate and moisturise beforehand to avoid streaks and wash your hands afterwards to avoid orange palms.
White teeth is a little more tricky. again you could have them professionally whitened but hat can be pretty expensive so i'd just switch to a whitening toothpaste for the month. A month is plenty of time to see results.
Make up is more difficult to call not knowing what you look like but general tip is to emphasise either your lips or eyes, not both. Could you possibly ask a freind or family member you trust to experiment on you a few weeks before the prom to see what suits you?
Good luck, i'm sure you'll knock him dead. x
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I really need help. My boyfriend of two years broke up with me a few weeks ago and it's getting really hard to handle. I knew that I'd be crying a lot and facing a lot of pain, I'm just in a really bad moment of pain.
I've been crying a lot every night because he has a new girlfriend and it really hurts to think about. I know that I should be talking to someone and I do have a really supportive family. I guess I'm asking if theres anything more that I could be doing at this point?
He had an away message talking about how much he loved his girlfriend and it set me off into depression. Can anyone help any further when it comes to dealing with a break-up? (link)
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Lots of cliches coming up but that really do work:
1) copy down his email address and phone number and put them at the bottom of a drawer and then DELETE THEM from your phone and MSN/AIM. This avoids you having to see his crappy mushy little screennames and prevents phonecalls or texts made while drunk/in moments of weakness. (This is a good thing. Trust me.)
2) Make a list of all the bad things about him and your relationship- very easy to idealise it once it's not there- and remind yourself of it when you sart to feel like you've lost something perfect. Top of your list can be he is pretty fickle to move on and be "in love", no less, so quickly after your break up.
3) Go out. With your friends, with your family, by yourself, it doesn't matter. Concentrate of having fun and doing things you enjoy that have nothing to do with him. This is an excellent time to catch up with your girlfriends, let them bitch about all his flaws and then totally forget about him during girly days of shopping/spa-ing/partying or whatever.
I don't knwo if you have to see him a lot but if you do, a brave face is a wonderful thing. Seeing him will be shit but there's no need for him to know. Act like his presence doesn't affect you and you'll be suprised how quickly it becomes a reality.
Good luck x
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Heeey all :D
Okay, thanks to everyone who answered my Family History question, and now to my new question.
The thing about writing an essay on my family history is that..I have none. My family is pretty screwed up. My parents basiccaly "divorced" from their families, and know nothing about them. So I can't contact their parents to know any more about my ancestors either.
So I figured, I'll just go with the little I have..you know, make the best of it. But that means, since my essay will suck, I have to do a really GREAT introduction and summary/ final words. But how can I start it off?
My first though was to say something like "Not many people know alot about their family history..bla bla bla" but that made it really hard to start talking about my family. So I gave up on that and figured I'll do "In ((insert graveyard name) there's 94 graves, 5 of them belonging to my family. In grave number 1 theres "name" who did this, moved there, had these children e.t.c e.tc" You get the picture, right? Go from one grave to the other until I've told about my whole family..ending with me. But that didn't work either, so what do I do? What CAN I do? How do I start off this essay? And is there any good ways to end it? Like I need to make it fun to read, or atleast make sure its worth remembering/reading again..since the rest will suck. Is there any "final sentence" that can make it kind of dramatic or whatever?
Any ideas? Thank you alot ♥ (link)
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Hey i don't know what your teachers are like or whether this would be acceptable but why not turn this assignment on its head and talk about people who know nothing about their families- adopted kids, "divorced" kids like your parents and so on. Would it be possible to talk to your parents about why they chose to do what they did? Then you could lead on to the idea that every family has its secrets, what makes yours different is that it's your family itself that is the secret.
This could be a pretty cool essay about when familes go wrong and the mystery people shroud it in. It'd certainly stand out amongst 30 other essays just tracing back family names and dates of birth. good luck!
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Hey guys sup?? Well I've been working at my local Dunkin Donuts for the past 4-5 months for extra cash. Recently my boss has been a real dick and given me a real hard time about everything. He even talks behind my back when I'm not at work saying how bad of a worker I am. The ironic thing is that he hasn't fired me yet..He's really rude to me all the time and even curses at his workers, becuse he has a really bad temper. Maybe he really likes me in a sexual way and that's why he doesn't want to fire me...(he's 50 and I'm 16) I really don't know. Anyways last night I even hd a nightmare abut him that he was like yelling and screaming at me. I'm really afraid of him...
I feel like I should quit but what should i use as my excuse?? Should I be truthful or should I make up some bs and leave?? Or should I try to stick it out even though I'm really scared of him?? Please help me..I'm facing the Devil here. lol. Thanks in advance!! (link)
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Your excuse to who? There is no need to state a reason why you're leaving and they've no right to demand one. Just a polite letter complete with the date it's written and the date you'd like to leave (remmebering the amount of notice your contract requires you to give)is fine. You could even thank him for giving you the experience of the work.
Whatever you say it sounds like this guy might well yell at you when you tell him you're leaving. This is fine and not your problem- you've every right to leave and if he demands a reason tell him "personal reasons" and leave it at that. Stay calm, do your best not to feel intimidated (after all what's he realistically going to do but make himself look stupid and unreasonable?)let him rant and refuse to be drawn into an argument. If he wants to give himself an early heart attack so much the better for his workers by the sounds of it but you dont have to let his temper affect you.
Enjoy your freedom!
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ok i have this friend and he is gay but i didnt kno till the other day he didnt tell me i cought him wit a boy and well u kno what happend then... but i really need 2 kno what i should do should i be his friend? or should i tell him that im not his friend no more b/c hes gay? (link)
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I imagine the reason he didn't tell you is because he was afraid you'd react like this and ditch him. As far as I can see his sexuality really doesn't affect you in any way. If you're a girl then his sexuality and yours will never cross paths and ditto if you're a straight guy so what's the problem?
He's probably pretty scared and confused right now so if you care about him at all be there for him. If not then the least you can do is keep quiet about it until he's ready to tell people himself.
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hi there, well there's this girl i like. she has a boyfriend and she usually comes to me for help. we have lots in common and she has said to me that she wishes she had a boyfriend like me.. well recently i told her how i felt about her.. i dont know if i should of said this because im not sure things will be the same. she says its ok and she still loves me. but it feels like im in an awkward kind of position. any advice would really be appreciated, thanks. (link)
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OK well I agree with the other two comments, just acting how you always did and it'll probably fall back into place but frankly, what is this girl playing at?
Either she's confused and needs to sort herself out in terms of whether she wants you or her boyfriend in which case maybe backing off for a while would help you both, or she genuinely doesn't have feelings for you but really isn't being fair to you in some of the things she says to you. I mean a "love ya" kinda thing between platonic friends is fine but "i still love you" to someone you know has feelings for you?
Meh i duno maybe i'm judging it wrong but sounds to me like you need to have a conversation with this girl, not about how you feel, but how she feels about you and what she's going to do about it. Maybe set some limits. You seem to be filling the boyfriend role right now without her actually having to be with you-having cake and eating it so to speak. If that's the case that's definately not fair to you as it ties you up from being with someone you could have a proper relationship with.
Anyway, sorry, it's a sucky position to be in and it's way easier to give advice than take it where stuff like this is concerned i know. Good luck.x
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