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Do you think it's necessary to know your partners past sexual experience? Would you want to know? Would it bother you? I learned from personal exp. never to ask, yet I found out how much experience my girlfriend has had accidently and when I confronted her about it she didn't deny it. Something changed with me when she admitted it. I feel really insecure about it now. I hate finding out. What would you do??
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i think that you should know your girlfriends past...but remember that this is her past and that shes with you now. The past dont matter now. Just tell her how you feel but talk to her calmly and dont yell or nothing like that and keep in mind it is her past. hope i helped!!
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hey, well i think that you should always know about your partners past. even if its bad or even good you should still know. i think that you should be get to ask each other questions that youve been wanting to know. it will help make your relationship stronger and it will also help you be able to confront each other in times of need. cait♥
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I think the past is very important. The past makes the present and one can learn a lot from it. So, I think one should know and, more than that, I think one should judge a person on what they have done- good or bad.
That being said you should have come to terms with the possibilities ahead of time. Since you were obviously taken a bit by surprise, you will need to evaluate how important the news is to you now. I am not going to preach one way or another (some people will tell you that it only matters that she loves you now, others might say that she has/had dubious morality). You need to sit yourself down and ask yourself "how does this information change my perception of my girlfriend?"
Perhaps she gave you the impression she was innocent, and now you know it was a lie. Alternatively perhaps she just never touched upon her past so as not to make you uncomfortable (but no deception was involved).
Deal with this matter as logically as possible. Structure your thoughts and emotions and try to understand why you are feeling what you are feeling. Did you expect something else? if so why? is it only the insecurity that is bothering you or is it her past behaviour directly?
I think its good you found out. I have never believed in the "I dont want to know" line of thinking. Facing the truth is often hard, but at least you will know that what you have afterwards is far more real than what you had before.
Good luck
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The past really isn't relevent to the present, but some bad reputations are deserved (like cheating or such). If she has had a lot of partners or something similarly common, then why let it affect the here and now? What matters is that you are building a relationship. You should always make sure your partner has been tested for STDs though, that kind of thing is important to know. Other then that, it's all about enjoying what you two have now, and not worrying about her situations before you. Think about yourself for a minute, things you have done before you met her. Does that have anything to do with her now? Probably not. Insecurity is common when this issue comes up, but often needless. Don't let it affect what the two of you could grow into. If you really want to know about something, it's ok to talk about it, you may end up feeling much better.
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Well i would'nt be frightened of my girl friends sexual past! she is allowed one and she's with you now because she chooes' to be with you! you say you 'confronted' her about it - as if she had done something wrong, she hasn't. isn't it a signe of a better, stronger, happyer relationship when you're open and honest insted of having secret pasts you can never mention. what sort of a relationship would that be? if you only want to date 'never been kissed virgins' thats up to you but if you love your partner and want to keep her you've got to get over this! owen
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I can understand how it would make you feel that way but try to remember that everyone has a past (be honest- don't you too?)and that all this happened before she met you. She was growing up and learning and if her past wasn't what it was she wouldn't be the person she is, that you love, today.
I know it's hard to see this way but if she's had a lot of experience then she's chosen to be with you with her eyes open, knowing that you're right for her instead of wandering into a relationship with you with nothing to compare it to.
If anything you're more secure with her because she knows what else is out there and still chose you.
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Ask politely... (very... polite...play safe...) Well, if they do know better than anyone else, then talk to them and ask them. Sometimes, parents will appreciate us when we want them to help us in something... ^_^ So, just ask for help, which they will accept gladly, and then ask for it. If they're kinda shocked at the very first time, just smile and say, "Everyone needs to know what's good and what's bad..." Learning experience is not always nice and safe, sometimes it will hurt and others... *Anyway, if you still don't know, you can go to websites or ask me*
And if you hate finding out, then are you sure you're ready to find out?? I mean, if you're not, then don't try to be... It's okay to be scared...
I hope I've helped. I really hope I have.
Wish you and your girlfriend the best luck.
PS: Everything will be alright... relax...
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I think these days with AIDs being out there and everything it is important to know your partner sexual history. We don't here about it everyday anymore so its easy to forget about.
I can really understand how you wouldn't WANT to know about it, and I can understand it changing your feelings if the number is bigger than expected. But I think it is need to know info. :)
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