I live in Central Wisconsin. I am married and we have two daughters. In 1997 I earned my degree in psychology from the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point. In my spare time I study psychology and philosophy.
Gender: Male
Location: Stevens Point, WI
Occupation: Phlebotomy Coordinator (Clinical Laboratory)
Age: 35
Member Since: October 19, 2005
Answers: 118
Last Update: January 24, 2010
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ok, im 13 years old and i have had this boyfriend for about 7 months now. he is having majior family problems and doesnt know how to deal with them anymore. he is one of those people who keep things bottled up inside of him. i told him he could always talk to me about it but i dont think he is comfortable talking to anyone about it. well, he is getting like really depressed and he told me he doesnt know if he can handle it all anymore. he is thinking about running away or killing himself. i told him not to and i pleaed for him not to but i dont think it is getting through to him. he told me that the last thing he wanted to do was hurt me but he is REALLY anrgy. i dont know what to say or what to do. he told me if he does anything he'll come to school and say good bye to me and stuff. PLEASE PLEASE help me! im so scared!
-Leah- (link)
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Dear Leah,
Thank you for writing to me.
Let's break it down:
* Your boyfriend has family problems that he reacts to by getting angry.
* He isn't comfortable talking about his problems, so he keeps his anger inside.
* Tired of being angry, he is looking for a way to change his situation.
Your boyfriend gets angry because he doesn't know how to deal with conflict. But he doesn't know how to handle anger, so he bottles it up. Now he can't live with his bottled anger any longer, so he talks about running away or killing himself.
Your boyfriend needs someone who can teach him how to resolve conflict. The anger and thoughts of suicide are consequences of his inability to MAKE SENSE of his family problems; he has no idea how to RESPOND to his family. These skills can be learned, but he needs the right teacher.
You are not that teacher, and neither am I.
My advice: Suggest to your boyfriend that he speak to a school guidance counselor or school psychologist. These people are trained to TEACH people the personal and interpersonal skills they need to be successful in life. If your boyfriend doesn't learn these skills now, he will struggle with anger his whole life.
It's a safe bet that his talk of drastic measures (running away, suicide) is actually a "cry for help". What he really wants is for someone to take his problems seriously and encourage him to get the help he needs.
It's possible he will resist the idea of going to a counselor. He might even get angry with you for suggesting it. Remember that ANGER is how he responds to uncomfortable situations, and he is definitely uncomfortable with the idea of talking about his feelings. Be gentle but persistent.
GENTLE BUT PERSISTENT. He may reject the idea out of habit, but you'll have to convince him that if killing himself is the only other option, perhaps getting counselling isn't such a bad idea.
If you can't convince him to get help, and he continues to talk about suicide, then you OWE IT TO HIM to go to the guidance counselor or school psychologist YOURSELF and tell them EVERYTHING. Suicidal thoughts are often temporary, but suicide is permanent, and tragic. You should be willing to sacrifice your relationship in order to save his life.
If you need any more help, I am here for you. Be strong, Leah, and good luck.
Dr. Chad
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Hi there,
Am not sure whether you will be able to answer this or not.
Am pretty clued up when it comes to health issues but I am NOT a professional.
My 19 year old friend has just found out that she is pregnant (approx 9 weeks) due to the fact that she is completely irresponsible and had unprotected sex with someone.
The pregnancy test was done with a blood sample.
Anyway cut to the chase - she is really worried that she may have caught HIV from this guy (rumour has it that he has the virus and he has mysteriously disappered back to Nigeria when she told him she was pregnant)
The question I'd like to know the answer to is would they been able to detect the virus in her pregnancy blood sample? Would it show whether she had any other STD's?
I know the best thing for her to do is go and be checked out and have a test but despite knowing that her and her babys health is at risk she is too terrified to go. Any suggestions for convincing her?
Thanks in advance for your answer!
Mel (link)
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Your best strategy is to encourage your friend to receive the same routine prenatal care that all pregnant women should receive. At her 16-week checkup she will have routine lab work which includes screenings for various STD's, including HIV antibodies.
However, to answer your question: The same blood sample used for the pregnancy test could be used for the HIV test, if a doctor orders the test within 7 days of when the sample was drawn.
If your friend is concerned about the cost of prenatal care, call your county health and human services department and find out what her options are.
Thank you for your question,
Dr. Chad
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Okay. Long story short. I have religious Mormon friend. Religious as in very, very religious. Anyhow, we got into a discussion tonight at "impure thoughts" He seems to think it's a "selfish want" to think impurely about others. I said that it's impossible to be rid of them, that by repressing it them you are not getting rid of them, just concealing them and they will just build up. I said that what you need to do is deal with them and get them out of your system.
Now I feel really bad about the things I said. I guess it's because I should respect the fact he's pure rather than encourage him not to be. lol. I feel bad for him as I feel he is a little misguided and placing unnecessary restraints on himself. Does anyone agree with me on what I said to him? Is it impossible to debate with religious people? At the time I seemed to make a lot of sense. But now I'm thinking and maybe he is right. Should we avoid discussions like this in the future? Does someone with some experience with religion have an religious answer to this?
Thanks.
(link)
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You said you should "respect the fact he's pure...". But that's not entirely correct. What you should respect is the fact that his beliefs are different than yours. You need to realize that your belief that "it's impossible to be rid of impure thoughts" actually sets the stage for your experience of impure thoughts, just as your friend's belief in the impropriety of having impure thoughts sets the stage for his experiencing only pure thoughts.
In other words, because you learned that impure thoughts are unavoidable, for you the only choices are to deal with them or repress them. However, your Mormon friend learned that impure thoughts are optional, so for him it's a simple matter of not opting to think impurely about other people. For your friend, the impure thought is not unavoidable...it is optional. Do you see how different beliefs (starting points) lead to different experiences (destinations)?
The most important lesson I want to pass on to you is that BOTH of you have legitimate claims on your beliefs and your experiences. You are both "right", in a sense. You both have an inalieable right to believe as you do and see the world as you do. Neither of you can avoid it. Noboday can. We must all see the world in some particular way, or we couldn't make decisions. The plurality of beliefs and lifestyles existent in the world follow naturally from this quality of mind, namely that each mind constructs its world. The reason many people can agree GENERALLY on an observed event is that the observed event really happened independently of the minds that perceived it. The reason why none of these observers will agree EXACTLY on the observed event is that each person's experience of the event is, in the fine details, unique, because each person has a unique collection of remembered experiences.
It is memory of past experiences that allows us to "predict" what will happen THIS time. And it is the ability to predict that has survival value.
I see from reviewing your question that you were seeking a "religous answer" to your question, and I have irreverently failed you. However, consider for a moment what I have told you. Nothing I have said refutes religous beliefs. Constructivism may actually shed some light for you on the VARIETY of religious experience. Even a congregation in a single church will agree GENERALLY on their religious beliefs but disagree on some finer points of doctrinal interpretation. Both their general agreement and specific disagreement are legitimate and natural--and completely unavoidable. This is why a nation is stronger for being accepting of diversity (plurality). This is why separation of church and state and freedom of religion have worked so well for our nation.
I do not think you should avoid these types of discussions with your Mormon friend. However, in the future, rather than trying to change each other's minds, try to understand each other's points-of-view.
Peace,
Dr. Chad
P.S. YES, it is impossible to DEBATE with religious people. Impossible and detrimental to any relationship you have with them.
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hey, i was wondering if weed will show up in a blood test. I'm probably going to have one for something completely un-related to drugs. i mean like, they aren't looking for weed or anything. So, i guess i'm wondering if it will show up at all and if they have to be specifically looking for it to find it. How long does it stay in your system? I've heard 38 days, but i've only smoked twice (yesterday and three days ago) and i didn't smoke very much at all. Between both days, i probably didn't even have a bowl. Thanks (link)
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I work in a hospital laboratory. Unless we are testing the blood specifically for THC, we won't find it. All laboratory tests are specific--we only find what we are looking for. You have nothing to worry about.
Dr. Chad
P.S. Stop smoking pot. ;)
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my questions are simple.
I'd like to see your opinion on my latest moral quandry. hypothetically put yourself in the shoes of a soldier in iraq or afghanistan, you have the fortitude to engage and destroy the average insurgent with whatever weapon you can grab, be it a bayonet, or a mark 19 grenade launcher. you are on patrol in the streets of samarra or some other craphole city, and some 12 year old boy comes around the corner with a PKM(russian assault rifle) and opens up on your squad.
1: would you open fire with the intent to destroy the target, or to injure and disarm?
2:is it right, in a moral sense, to shoot and kill this kid?
those of you who instantly say no are missing the point of this exercise. use quotes if you feel the need.
you fellas that like to act like a box of rubber dicks, please contribute.
you normal civilians are welcome to answer, i just like to let those specific groups know that their opinion, no matter how depraved, is still valuable.
thank you for your time and patience.
-gunner (link)
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I am not a soldier and I am finding this hard to answer, yet I'm honored that a U.S. soldier has given me the chance to address a difficult issue with which I thankfully have no direct experience. Bearing that in mind, my answer is purely theoretical and somewhat idealistic. I don't ever want to be in your place, and I am thankful that men and women like you are willing to be there for me.
Noncombatants and prisoners of war must be treated as morally equivalent. If a person is unarmed and unable to defend or attack, then you have a duty as a human being to value this person's life.
As a soldier, you have a moral duty to kill the enemy. That is your function in a war. In battle, your allegiance is to your unit, your country, and yourself.
In battle, it is absolutely essential to dehumanize the enemy. You must kill or be killed, period. Morality has no place in battle. In the case of a twelve-year-old firing at you and your unit, you only need ask yourself: WOULD HE HESITATE TO KILL YOU? No. What good is a dead soldier?
If U.S. soldiers are unwilling to shoot enemy combatants who are children, then the enemy will exploit that weakness. There are no rules in war. You voluntarily adopt rules of engagement because you are a professional United States soldier. But the enemy in Iraq follows only one rule: kill as many as you can.
If you are unwilling to kill a lethally armed child, then be prepared to die by his bullet.
Now, I must step down from my soapbox and be honest with you. It would tear me apart inside if I had to choose between my life and the life of a child. How could I blame an Iraqi child for doing what he was told was right? What choice has anyone given him? He is more disadvantaged than I will ever know, and he doesn't really deserve to die, even if he is shooting at me. Martial law is all he has ever known. He is a child, and he deserves better. This is my conscience speaking. My conscience makes that lethally armed child into the innocent child who lives down the block from me in rural America. What kind of monster shoots such a child? THAT IS WAR.
Soldier, I am not worthy to stand in your presence. May God guide your hand.
Dr. Chad
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ok so this summer totally changed me. i got my first b/f and i met a lot of new people who are really great. before now i was "quiet" to most people in school, except my friends, and now i'm sooo different! everbody expects me to still be the quiet girl, but i'm not that way anymore. how do i show them i've changed??
14/f (link)
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Now that you've changed, you are no longer going to play the part of the quiet girl. Given enough time, your classmates will see this for themselves and learn to accept you in your new role. BE PATIENT. People naturally resist changing their beliefs about other people. Just continue to be yourself--your NEW self--and they will eventually see the new you. Congratulations for coming out of your shell--how exciting!!
Dr. Chad
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Let me ask you all reading my post right now: What is it called when you take a piece of a living being to create another living being? 'Playing GOD' right? We all know it better as Cloning! So lets speculate that a higher life form manipulates the DNA of a primate by adding their own DNA, or "creating them in their own image". Then they take a piece of their creation, lets just say "a rib" for example and make another one just like it only the opposite gender, (so they can reproduce naturally). That's creation, and with creation comes a natural side effect, evolution. Evolution is adaptation to survive in your surroundings. Please do not comment on my question if you are going to tell me that this is absurd. I have read the bible many times and have been a Christian, a Catholic, a Protestant and a Mormon. I have studied many other religions and they all confirm that God created Adam in his own image, God took a rib from Adam to make Eve. Thousands of years of history prove that we are evolving with every generation. So what religion am I if I believe in creation and evolution? (link)
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I am not aware of any religion that endorses both biblical creationsim and biological evolution. Some Christians have acknowledged the wide-ranging evidence for evolutionary theory but refuse to discard Genesis, and therefore have pieced together a story of our origin they call Intelligent Design, which accepts the mechanisms at work in evolution but denies that complex structures in nature (the classic example is the eye) could have proceeded from simpler structures (a pre-eye). They believe God designed complex structures in nature and also designed the evolutionary mechanisms that cause differentiation in these structures (blue eyes versus green).
The whole notion of God creating the world with specific structures and laws and then setting it into motion to run its course originated in the 17th and 18th centuries during the Enlightenment. Those who subscribed to this interpretation of God's role in the world called themselves Deists. Several of America's founding fathers were Deists, most famously Thomas Jefferson. However, Deism is one slippery step away from agnosticism (the belief that we cannot know whether God exists or not), which in turn is a short skip and a jump from full-blown atheism. For this reason, no church or sect will ever make Deism a popular or common stance in Christianity: too many people might fall through the cracks.
Personally I believe you have to choose between the two. Any attempt to reconcile creationism and evolution, is an attempt to have it both ways; to, as they say, have your cake and eat it too.
Good luck,
Dr. Chad
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Someone told me to ask YOU this although, I don't know why because you specialise in Mental Health..
But anyway.
I've been smoking for a while now and never had any dificulties but I've noticed I get dizzy sometimes when I smoke, any idea why this could be? (link)
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You are right, I don't know much about smoking. However, you will feel dizzy and lightheaded when your brain isn't getting enough oxygen. Perhaps you are smoking too fast, or dragging too long, and your lungs aren't getting a chance to dissolve enough oxygen into your bloodstream. Try taking shorter drags, and allow more time in between drags.
One possible reason why your lungs are having trouble getting enough oxygen while you smoke is that your lungs are already operating at a diminished capacity due to an undiagnosed lung condition. Perhaps you should bring your concern up to your school nurse, or family doctor, or go to WebMD and submit your question.
The dizziness might also just be a drug effect. Nicotine is a vasoconstrictor (causes your veins/venules/capillaries to contract, decreasing blood flow, increasing blood pressure). I don't know the precise pharmacokinetic effect of nicotine, though, so I'm not sure how it makes you dizzy. Possibly it slows down the oxygenated blood leaving your lungs.
I would be remiss if I didn't make the compulsory observation that you could eliminate the dizziness completely if you didn't smoke at all. But I know you won't quit yet...
Dr. Chad
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13/m Long story short, I like her a lot, I told her, she doesn't like me back. Here's my current problem: I think she's ignoring me. Like at schoool everything's just too weird to talk to her. Awkward, let's say. So I've been trying to patch things up. I tried inviting her over one day. Saturday, she was babysitting. Sunday, she had rehearsal for a play. Same thing happens week after week after week. Just today I tried asking her to come over. Same story. No good. I really want to make things all better. I want to be able to just talk to her, which we haven't done in months except for on AIM. Our only 3 classes together, we're across the room, which sucks. So we don't even see each other much. We used to goof off a lot as friends. Like all the time. Things were cool. But now they're not.
Last night was a school dance. I had asked her a few days earlier. She said she had rehearsal. So I went with three of my friends to eat food and drink punch & soda. And guess who was there, that's right her. So those three guys were like pushing me to talk to her, bribing me, etc. Eventually, I talked to her. Apparently, she sent me an e-mail (I checked this morning, it didn't go through) saying that the rehearsal was cancelled. Then this girl started teasing me about my e-mail address (I made it up when I was 7) and the one I like hugged me.
It's not the first time. Third, actually. First time was last year in science. I told her I was feeling like crap. She hugged me. I got scared, never having hugged anyone outside of family before. So I rejected it. Second time, we were at a carnival. She had persuaded me to get on all the wild rides. Hardly anyone was there yet, so there was no line. After the fifth one, I started vomiting. "Oh my god, are you OK?" and hugged me. I stood there and just murmured that I was fine. Third time was last night at the dance. It's my best one yet---I stood there. Yes, that's right, I just stood there. Then I did the stupidest thing in the world---I cut it short for the $5 I had been bribed for.
I'm such an idiot. I've been waiting for another moment in which she would hug me, and here it is. What do I do? I run away to get $5. (In the end, all he gave me was a quarter...) But I couldn't help it. I literaly couldn't think! My mind was drawing a complete blank! The only thing going on in my head was in my subconcious, saying "Get out of here, fast!". My concious side was just scared and confused, and didn't know what to do. For those of you who have read Flowers for Algernon, it was exactly what Charlie was feeling. Whenever he got too close to Alice, his inner child would pull him back and prevent him from doing anything. I guess my inner child was still scared of commitment and everything. I want to hug her, considering it's the first of many steps to a successful relationship, but there are no opportunities in the halls at school, and as I said before, there's never a good time for her to come over. So I guess I'm just doomed to be a hopeless freak with subconcious fear of so much as a hug...
I guess my three big questions here are:
1) Is she ignoring me?
2) If so, how do I prevent it?
3) How can I hug her?
I know it sounds really pathetic. All I want is a hug. There's all these people here asking about banging and stuff, and here I am, eager to get a hug. But you have to realize that I've never had a relationship before, and I don't believe in dating unless there are true feelings. And if you believe that teenagers don't know love, I acknowledge that fact, and I'm not the same as every teenager on Advicenators. Besides, it's important to get a feel for what dating is like before we start the real thing, eh? And don't treat me like a little kid. I may be 13, but I'm not stupid. I'm just socially distressed. No smartass answers either, please. And if you give a response that doesn't have any advice in it, you are liable to be reported, as one of the rules in the Terms of Service is that you may not give unhelpful advice. I usually rate. Thank you a lot. (link)
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1) Is she ignoring me?
A: Yes.
2) If so, how do I prevent it?
A: She is ignoring you because you are overbearing. Ironically, when you try to prevent her from ignoring you, you are being even more overbearing, giving her further reason to ignore you.
3) How can I hug her?
A: Look, you didn't do anything wrong by telling her how you feel, but by doing so, you redefined your relationship with her. She used to see you as a friend she could goof around with, and she thought you saw her in the same way. When you told her you have feelings for her, you changed her perception of you. Since she doesn't reciprocate your affection, she doesn't feel comfortable around you right now. When she hugged you at the dance, it sounds like she felt bad that you were being teased by her friends and wanted to help you "save face".
So how should you act around her now? Well, lets assume she truly isn't interested in a romantic relationship with you. Lets also assume she still likes you as a friend and even misses goofing around with you. If you can give up any further attempts to get a hug from her, you may have a chance to mend things.
Do this: When the time is right--when you have her undivided attention and some privacy to speak openly with her--look her in the eyes and tell her you feel bad for telling her you liked her a lot, that you didn't mean to "weird her out" (or whatever phrase you guys use these days), and that you'd rather be friends with her again. Then take it from there--say whatever seems right. Trust your instincts.
One more thing: You've been taking yourself too seriously. It comes across to others as being overbearing, or just plain weird, and freaks them out. RELAX. Stop overthinking things and, pardon the cliche...
j u s t b e y o u r s e l f !!!!
Don't worry, someday you'll have a deep and meaningful relationship with some lucky girl. You clearly have great emotional depth and self-knowledge--your description was both perceptive and insightful. For once I felt like I had enough information about someone's problem to be able to address it accurately, instead of having to make guesses as to what circumstances led to their problem.
Thanks,
Dr. Chad
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What's wrong with me?
My parents think I'm strange and that I have something weird going on with me. "I have weird habits and a weird way of thinking."
Habits as in...counting the number of cracks I've stepped on, the times i circle around something, the seconds im in somewhere and if its not under a certain time then i..feel the need to start over..and then im yelled at when im still doing it ...I dunno. People think I'm retarded X___x I didn't notice that i was doing this stuff... i just do it because...its what i've always been doing..then people pointed it out. Its like ringing the doorbell a couple of times..before entering because..its just..there. I always think about something. I'm afraid of pain. I'm afraid to do P.E. in class. I'm afraid of running..tripping and landing on the ground..seeing blood or having my arm bend the wrong way or having my fingers crushed or having those bent the wrong way. It makes me sick. I don't want to twist my ankle or have a ball hit my face..because it might hit my ear piercings and those might rip out and hurt. I've got glue on eyelashes and I've just recently thought..what if i get the glue in my eye? My eyes will start to water and then i might get eye problems...might have to go see a doctor...and then i get awful images.. I dunno. I always worry a lot. Also.. my little sister was going across the street to a friends house...in my head I heard a loud crash..and had images of her lying in the street covered in blood and...blah. My boyfriend had this safety pin in his mouth...and it was open and for about 20 mins..he was talking with it still in his mouth..and all i could think about is.. what would happen if it cut him...or if he swallowed it and it got stuck..and i couldn't do a thing about it because there was no adult around.. argh. Am I stupid? (link)
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I wasn't going to answer this question because your problem is profoundly obvious to me and I figured ten other people would already have told you.
Then I checked the advice already given to you, and nobody has hit upon it.
Although I think it's the exception to the rule that people who submit descriptions of themselves turn out to actually be suffering from a disorder, I believe you are.
I'll bet dollars to donuts you are suffering from OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. See a psychiatrist. There is medication that will help eliminate your obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors.
Congratulations for being smart enough to seek help online. The next step is to take my advice and make an appointment with a psychiatrist. IF YOU AREN'T COMFORTABLE TALKING TO A PSYCHIATRIST, THEN AT THE VERY LEAST, MAKE AN APOINTMENT TO SEE YOUR FAMILY PHYSICIAN. Some problems can't be resolved through sheer willpower, and this is one of them. Go see a doctor.
Please!
Dr. Chad
Update: I see a few other people after me have also advised you to find out if you have OCD. I'm glad I'm not the only one who picked up on it. Take our advice and get it checked out!!!!
Dr. Chad
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Ok. Sp there is this guy I ave liked for four years. When we went to camp together for church. Me, my friend, and him all hung out together. We flirted and had the best time. When I asked him if he liked he said yes and he was going to break up with his girlfriend to go out with me. Time passed and nothing happended except us becoming really good friends. I didnt want to say anything about it but i just let it go. We went to homecoming and prom twice together we had a blast. He always talks to me when he sees me and he will sit on my lap and pretend and like say hey baby or say how you doing in a way that is hilarious. Does he like me and is to afradi to date. I think about him all the time. By the way i am 18 and he is 17. We have never had a fight before either. (link)
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A few scenarios:
1. His affection is sincere almost to a fault: he likes you so much he's afraid to screw up your relationship by attempting romance.
2. He only wants you for a friend, but he's afraid if he tells you the truth, you will be hurt.
3. He never broke up with his girlfriend, or he did but then started dating someone else, and he's just stringing you along.
Obviously these aren't the only possibilities, but these might get you thinking in the right direction.
Dr. Chad
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For a school project I need to find pictures of people who have done some kind of drugs. I need to be able to show how awful people can end up looking to prove a point. Problem is, I can't find any pictures on the web. Please help me find some asap! Thanks! (link)
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Search for photos of people who have done lots of methamphetamine (Ecstacy). Find pictures of their teeth and gums. You won't be disappointed.
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Ok well i go to school with a bunch of people i have alot of rich friends and stuff and im not trying to be stuck up or any thing but i am one of the poplular girls and i have all of a sudden gained a ton of wieght i am in 7th grade im 13 i am 5'1 and i wieght 114!!! and i dont really look fat people say but im not conftable with my size all my friends are really thin! not like anrexic thin but skinny u know and i really need some tips to tone up my stomach and thighs im mean id do any thing i mean i try not to eat much but i allways do!! every time i eat i feel like a failure!
please help (link)
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The weight you are gaining isn't fat. Your body is maturing. You are becoming more shapely, voluptuous. It's a normal part of development, and as you get older, guys will find your curves sexy. Skinny just isn't sexy. Kate Moss has no curves, and isn't sexy. She only appeals to girls who mistakenly believe that Kate is the standard to which they must strive. Kate has the body of a twelve year old boy. It's gross.
As far as eating goes, if you are eating healthy foods, then you aren't failing. If you're eating junk food, or large portions, or drinking lots of sugary soda, then you might want to rethink your dietary choices.
Dr. Chad
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soemone i kno died and im really bad at dealing with it its been awhile and i still get thoose days that i just miss them so much is there anyway i can cope better?has this happened to you?if so howd u deal?
(link)
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You are coping just fine. There will be days when something reminds you of your friend and memories of his/her life and death will well up from within, and COPING means allowing these feelings to surface and be experienced. From your description it sounds as if you are in the final phase of grief, that of ACCEPTANCE. (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Acceptance). You can expect to occasionally have dreams in which your friend is still alive, or has come back from "heaven" to visit you. These dreams are also a perfectly normal means of accepting your loss. Sadness is a natural emotion in the fourth phase.
So, just continue to cope as you have been, allowing yourself to miss your friend and be sad. In time, your grief will subside, but the happy memories will always remain, bringing peace to your life.
We aren't meant to forget those who pass before us. The best way to honor someone's life is to be thankful for the time you had together.
Dr. Chad
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i wanted to know if there are any side effects of depression pills like losing weight gaining weight drowsynesss any of that and also which different type of pills have what side effect?
(link)
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Ask the psychiatrist who prescribed the medication.
Or, go to:
http://depression.about.com/cs/sideeffects/a/sidefxindex.htm
Dr. Chad
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I am over weight and i have tryed exercise and diets and im only 13 so i cant do anything like pills. But i seriosly need help im like 5 2 and 150lbs please please help! What do you think i should do?
~overweight
(link)
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A diet is a short-term solution, a temporary fix with a tragic rebound effect. Do not go on any diet!!
What you need to do is focus on leading a healthy lifestyle, which includes eating healthy foods and exercising regularly. The importance of exercise is not in the burning of calories during the workout, but the resulting boost in your metabolism that makes you overall a more efficient burner of calories, even when you aren't working out.
Many books have been written on what constitutes healthy eating, but the one I recommend is actually addressed to people who suffer from PCOS (poly cystic ovarian syndrome). The book prescribes specific foods which keep the patient from developing diabetes.
...............I just searched the entire house and I can't find my wife's book, so I don't know the title. Sorry.
Diabetes is mostly caused, or triggered, by an unhealthy diet, which is why most diabetics are obese.
A while back I decided to start eating healthy foods because I had my cholesterol checked and the "bad" cholesteral was dangerously high. I gathered dietary information from many, many sources, and starting January of this year I've been following my new dietary lifestyle.
HEALTHY EATING IS NOT A DIET. HEALTHY EATING IS A LIFELONG COMMITMENT TO A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE. IT IS A PERMANENT CHANGE IN HOW YOU EAT.
There is a commercial on the radio here in Wisconsin from Aspiris Clinic in which a dietician tells the story of a woman who tried every diet and failed at each one because she always made losing weight the focus of her efforts. The dietician taught her to focus instead on her health, and that now losing weight is a "pleasant consequence of a healthy lifestyle". That is what I am recommending.
Stay away from high-fructose corn syrup, found in hundreds of products, notably soda pop. In your liver, high-fructose corn syrup is converted almost entirely in fatty-acid chains instead of useful energy (glucose). It gets stored in the tissue as fat. Every time you eat or drink something with high-fructose corn syrup, you get fatter. I'm not kidding. Look it up.
Stay the hell away from fast food. In fact, one of the fundamental principles of my dietary lifestyle is to eat very little processed food. Look for MINIMALLY PROCESSED FOOD. If it's packaged and ready to eat, and the label lists fifty ingredients, and it could last for months in its wrapper, don't eat it.
A brand of food I recommend is Kashi.
Eat lots of fiber-rich foods. Fiber is a key player in the digestive process.
Eat whole grains.
Eat sweets once in a while. Don't deprive yourself of anything. Just eat small portions. When they serve cake, have a small piece. If there's a lot of frosting, scrape some of it off. Don't deprive!
Two more secrets of success: Eat small portions, and never feel obligated to finish what's on your plate. If you're full, you're full. Simply stop and push your plate away.
Avoid sugar and other carbohydrates in the morning. If you just eat protein for breakfast, your body will burn fat to feed itself, and also, because insulin won't be released to process that sugar you didn't eat, you won't feel hungry all morning.
I could go on, but what if you don't like what I'm preaching? Then I'd just be wasting my time.
If you want to know more, then leave a message at my advice column. Make sure you identify yourself somehow so I know you are continuing our conversation.
Dr. Chad
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i am babysitting with a friend so we have to split the money and the town isnt very rich about how much should i charge 1 kid per hour 2 kids per hour 3 kids per hour and 3 kids per hour
i rate high (link)
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Although I know nothing of babysitting rates, unless the parents REQUESTED two babysitters, the fact that you have to split the money shouldn't figure into the rate you charge.
Dr. Chad
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Ha i think i have a split personality but it is more like a adviors. is this nomal for a teen
(link)
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A person with the rare dissociative personality disorder is not aware of the disorder. The personalities are not aware of each other.
What you describe sounds more like your "conscience" or "moral compass" speaking to you.
On the other hand, if you are hearing a distinct voice speaking to you which is not your imagination, then perhaps you are experiencing an auditory hallucination.
Or, if you are willing to believe in the paranormal, it could be your spirit guide talking to you. I have never personally experienced anything paranormal, but many people claim to, too many to be summarily dismissed. If the notion of a spirit guide intrigues you, read some of Sylvia Browne's work, or visit her website, or watch her on Montel Williams.
On another note, there are many, many experiences and feelings that are normal for a teen but not for a preteen or an adult. Adolescence is a wild time for the human body and mind. You undergo changes on every level: physically (including the muscular/skeletal system, endocrine system, and brain), mentally (personality, social aptitude, world-view) and spiritually (religious beliefs as well as "spirituality" which would transcend religious dogma and is believed by some to exist independently of religion).
Whew. Point being, whatever you are experiencing--and your one-sentence description leaves much to the imagination--it doesn't sound abnormal for a teen.
But I would prefer a more detailed description of your "advisor" if you want me to give you a more INFORMED opinion.
Until then,
Dr. Chad
P.S. Did you send me the question twice because there are "two" of you? Neither of you could spell "advisor", but the second try was closer. :) ;)
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Question for guys: If you were married to a woman that you could barely stand, was mean to you and had nothing in common with, why would you stay? Oh yeah, and you had no kids together. I'm asking because I know a guy in this situation, he admitted the relationship has been dead for two years and he still stays with her. (link)
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If he's being honest, then perhaps he's just staying with her out of habit or laziness, or for financial security.
Otherwise, he may be lying to you. Are you two romantically involved, or thinking about it?
Dr. Chad
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someone PLEASE freaking help me! im so frustrated. i have an electric guitar (all i know is that it plays music..other than that im an idiot) and when i went to look up tabs it told me the basic E B G D A E. and then when i go to look at tabs theres like C and i just dont understand!! i want to cry, someone please give a site for dummies or tell me youll help me or something. (link)
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When I started learning guitar I found a poster that shows how to make all sorts of chords. I posted in on my wall and sat in front of it. Each diagram shows which fret to hold the string down on for each string used in the chord.
Just the other day, I was looking through posters as K Mart and saw the exact same poster (like 10 years after I had bought it) so it must have worked for a lot of people.
Dr. Chad
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