I am a freshman and there is a senior that goes to my school that I have liked for a while. He is really cute, sweet , smart and funny. He seems to stare at me a lot. He looks at me over his friend's shoulders. When I catch him staring he holds the eye contact for what seems like forever. He 'accidently' touches my arms, hands, shoulders and lower back. He walks really close to me in the halls when we pass. i like him a lot and want to know if these signs mean he likes me back.
I would say these things are big indicators that he has a crush on you. When a guy invests the time in making not-so-subtle flirtation techniques, it means that he's at least somewhat interested in you. You should try to talk to him sometime(:
Good luck,
Darby
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Hello,
My good friend's grandmother has just passed away and she seems to be taking it quite hard, she cried a lot, too. Just a while ago, I came to her house and attempted to comfort her, but then I ended up sit down for almost two hours listening to her while she told me stories about her and her grandmother while she was still alive.
I am not a very good comforter so I didn't talk much then, not to mention that I know little about her grandmother. I just sat there and listen and occasionally say one or two sentences. I feel kind of . . . useless and awkward.
So do you have any advice as to what to say or what to give her to cheer her up? It's kind of awkward to just listen the entire time, you see.
Thanks,
P.S. Please don't tell me to put myself in her shoe to know how she feel like the other columnist did. I can't! Even when my grandparents died, I felt a bit sad, but not for long. Because it is inevitable that when you get old, you die. I just take die-of-old-age as part of life.
It's great that you're trying to cheer your friend up, but you're right, it can be difficult. The best thing to do is say, "I'm so sorry this happened. I'm here for you whenever you need me. Even if it's at three in the morning, you can call me anytime."
As far as when you're talking to her, she probably really needed to get those things off her chest. It's okay that you only said a few sentences here and there. If she thought it was awkward or uncomfortable, she wouldn't have talked so much.
When she's telling stories about her grandmother, just nod your head and listen to what she's saying. If she's telling a funny thing that happened, laugh when it's appropriate. At the end of her stories, it would be appropriate to say something along the lines of, "Wow, she sounds like a really great woman. I'm sorry you lost her, but it sounds like she led a full and happy life."
The next thing to do is get her out of her house. It's great to cry and talk things out, but you don't want her to lay in bed and be miserable for too long. Suggest going somewhere or doing something that you know she loves to do. If she likes movies and you know there's one out that she'd like to see, treat her to one. If you have a lot of sleepovers with her, ask her to come over and watch light-hearted comedies to get her mind off of it for a while.
The only things you can really do is be there for her, listen to her, and help her by surprising her with nice things or doing things that she finds fun. She'll get over it with time and support from you and her family, and in the end, she'll appreciate that you were there for her so much during her time of need.
Darby(:
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what if your completely in love. well what you think is love... why should age matter... i dont think its grose to be with somone that 14 or 15 when there 18... but i really dont know.. damn i wish i wasnt so confused...
A few years age difference isn't bad. The age of the age difference is what some people thing is bad. Because one person is 14/15 and one is 18, it's a big deal because they're teenagers. One should be in junior high and one should be about to graduate from high school. Those are huge differences when you think in terms of maturity.
When someone is 30 and someone else is 33, it really doesn't matter because both people should be fully grown and mature by that time. Then, the age differences can be much wider without it seeming off or weird to people.
Another problem is that when someone is 18 and dating a 14/15 year old, they're dating a minor. It's against the law to do so and the 14/15 year old's parents really probably won't like it.
I don't personally see anything awfully wrong with it. I dated a guy that was 18 when I was 14. It's not a matter of it being perverse to me, like I said, it's more a matter of maturity. The 18 year old is putting the 14 year old in a position of trying to handle things that a 14 year old isn't mature enough to handle. The 14 year old is putting his/herself in that position, really.
Bottomline is, 14 year olds can't make the mature decisions that 18 year olds should be able to make because 14 year olds brains are rapidly maturing still. 18 year olds brains are still maturing, but are much further along in that process, in most cases. Those are pretty much the reasons people think it's wrong.
Darby(:
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my best friends hate me and say all i do is see my boyfriend and never spend time with them. i do spend alot of time with my boyfriend (obviously we love eachother) who ive been going out with for almost 8 months. but thought i was still finding time with them. they started making up things about mine and my bf's relationship, wich is not true. i dont understand why friends whould do this, and everytime i try to talk to them they wont listen and start abusing me and making it seem like its all my fault. what can i do?
-Sara 16
It sounds like you accidentally spent too much time with your boyfriend, so they're feeling forgotten. They shouldn't be making up things about you and your boyfriend, but that's what immaturity will do to you. For the time being, I would just state your case and leave it be. Tell them that you thought you were making time for them, but that you see now that you probably weren't. Let them know that you want to spend more time with them and that you're sorry.
If they don't listen (which it seems like they won't right now), simply leave it be. They're probably just too upset right now to accept your apology and hang out with you more. The important thing is to not deny putting them on the back burner (even if you feel like you didn't do that). If they don't accept the apology now, leave them alone and just recheck with them once a week or so. Don't say, "Are you still mad at me?" Say, "I really am sorry. I don't want our friendship to be over because of this." and if they don't accept, just check back the next week. They're bound to grow up and forgive you sometime. And, if they don't, they weren't too great of friends in the first place.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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ok im a 14 year old girl.
and i like this boy at my skool.
he's in 10th.and we exchanged numbers and all.and he say he like me but when i ask him a serious question,thru a text,he doesnt text back or he jus dont text back at all.and then when we are texting it seems like im the only one trying to make conversation.then when i ask him when can we hang out he doesnt text back.but then i ask him does he really like me and he says yea ur koo.then he askes me about all this other unorthodox stuff that has nothing to do with what i want to know.But my question is>>>HOW COME WE EXCHANGED NUMBERS AND WE SAY WE LIKE ONE ANOTHER,HOW COME WE DONT HANG OUT OR HOW COME WHEN I ASK HIM A SERIOUS QUESTION THRU A TEXT,HE DOES'NT ANSWER MY TEXT BACK? please answer this question im in dier need of the answer to this..
In all honesty, it sounds like he's not interested. Maybe he thought he was interested when he exchanged numbers with you, then decided that (for whatever reason) he didn't want to get into a relationship with you.
Not what you want to hear, but it's the only reasonable explanation for why he would simply not answer text messages containing serious questions. If you want to find out from him, ask him why he doesn't answer back to more seriously texts, although he might not answer that.
-Darby
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Do guy's like it when girl's give them hand job's?
Typically, yes.
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my mom hates me i know she does... im 14 years old... on my 14th birthday she kicked me outta my house.... and told me it was my fault.... i dont wanna sound like im the perfect kid cause im not... but i just dont know how to make her happy it seems like im always doing something wrong.... i cant please her..... she tells all my friends parents that im a bad kid.... i spend a lot of time in my room or sleeping so idont hafta see her so icant get her mad at me... i dont know what to do anymore... i dont think i can live like this please hekp me someone....
It sounds like you and your mother need to go to some family therapy. There's obviously deep-seeded issues there. Because you guys fight so often, I doubt trying to work things out on your own would help much. You should try to talk to her about it though. Find a time when you're not fighting and you've got some time to talk about things. Tell her that you hate all the fighting. Let her know that it stresses you out and that you know it stresses her out too.
See how she reacts before you mention any sort of therapy. If she seems to react in a positive way and agrees to some extent, you could try bringing up the possibility of going to a counselor. If she argues or blames the whole thing on you, (calmly) point out that you're not saying that you don't have some fault in it, but that you just want to get along with her. Surely she can't deny that.
In the meantime, try to not break the rules as much as possible. If she tells you to call, call. If she tells you to be home at a certain time or do a chore, be home then and do the chore. It will hopefully prevent further argument until you can find her at a time that is good for both of you to talk.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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ok theres this guy that ive been liking for about 2 weeks now. one day he e-mailed me and said he has liked me for over a month. then we started talking more and more over e-mail and we started to like each other more but he still hadnt asked me out yet. then i had found out that while we were messaging each other he was going out with my friend but they only went out for like a day. i keep hearing that hes wrong and that he'll cheat on me like he did his last girlfriend. but i still like him. what should i do???
Yeah, he sounds like a bit of a player just from that small bit. I probably wouldn't go for it if I were you. First of all, he's a friend's ex. Even if they only dated for a day, they probably liked each other for a while in advance if they liked each other enough to date. Usually people talk for a couple weeks before dating, like you and him are right now. If you've talked to her about it and she doesn't care, I guess it's alright. But sometimes, those things come back to bite you.
Another bad thing is that he cheated on his last girlfriend. That alone tells you that he's capable of betraying someone that he supposedly cares about. I don't know about you, but it would be hard for me to trust someone that was a well-known cheater.
Of course, people are gossipy and not every thing you hear is true. But, I've found that typically, when someone has a bad reputation like that, it's somewhat true. They wouldn't get the reputation in the first place if it weren't true in some aspects.
But, that's just what I would do as a third party looking in. You can't help how you feel about people, I suppose. So if you think he'd make for a good boyfriend and you'd like to try it out, have a go. Just watch your back and take it slow.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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My friends dont trust me at all. they wont let me know anything cause they're like "youll just go off and tell it" and i dont! And i never had! Ive tried telling them i dont tell but they never trust me. How can i Let me trust me again.
--Not a secret teller
I'd say it's best not to bug them too much about it. The more you push them to tell you things, the less likely they are to tell you. They'll just get annoyed. I think you should prove you're trustworthy by not telling anyone things about them. Even if it's not things that they tell you; I mean just things in general. Don't be catty or gossipy about your friends. If you haven't told anyone anything they've told you in private, you might have stepped on some toes by saying things that you should know they wouldn't want other people to know, even if they didn't directly say 'don't tell anyone'.
When they see that you're not doing anything like that, they will be more likely to open up and tell you things. When they do open up and tell you secrets, literally tell no one. If you really haven't been doing anything catty and they still won't tell you things in the future, it's most likely a maturity issue. Once people grow up a little bit, they don't broadcast that they have a secret that you're not allowed to know. If they don't want anyone to know, they just keep it to themselves. If you're not doing anything wrong and they keep acting like that, it's time to get better friends.
In the meantime, try to talk to them and figure out why they think you can't be trusted with a secret. They might be able to shed some light as to why they feel you can't be trusted with personal issues.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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I need a new email address and I was unsure which site offers the best free email. I know of a few like Yahoo, Hotmail, and Google's GMail but that doesn't tell me much, you know? I use to have a Hotmail account but I got spam a lot and so I didn't really like it. I mean, if that's the BEST there is then I'll just use it but I hope there is better!
Any suggestions?
I use hotmail and have for about a year. I've had no problem with spam. Especially because you can block a sender right away if they send you a spam e-mail, so they're unable to contact you again.
I wouldn't use yahoo mail if I were you. I had an account on there, but they were always changing things and making you redo your information. I missed a lot of e-mails from people because they were always messing with the e-mail system.
Darby(:
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I have a boyfriend for 4years and 4months now.. we are deeply in love with each other, and yeas we are old enough to know what love is.. Anyways, lately my boyfriend and I havent really been hanging out or talking to each other much becoz he is always busy, he works and after work he goes straight to his aunt house(which is across the street fum where he works) hes been going there because they been having family problems and want to start going back to church...Anyways, since then we havent really spend time with each other because his always busy with work and his family...I love him so much, and I dont wanna lose him, but when im not with him I get really depressed and stressed out becoz we dont spend time with each other..I dont know how to deal with this. I talked to him about this and he said that for now we gotta make sacrifies...I dont know if im being selfish or I dont know what to do. I want him to make more time for me but at this moment it seems like its not gunah happen. I dont wanna keep stressing becoz its not good...someone help!!
For now, I think you have to do exactly what he suggested. It's time for both of you to sacrifice spending time together. It is a sacrifice and he's admitted that. But it shouldn't take long for them to get into a church that they like and to start leveling things out. A few weeks tops. If it's taken longer than that, I don't know what the family issue could be, but that's a bit much I'd say.
I understand that you're feeling lonely because you're so accustomed to spending your time with him. But if you badger him about spending more time with you, it will only push him away. Really, in this case, it's going to take more sacrifice from you than from him. He's got his things to do and people to be with and you're just left alone for a while so they can figure things out. But it's something you've gotta do to be a good girlfriend. You have to be understanding and willing to step back and let them work things out.
In the meantime, try texting or calling your boyfriend often to make sure things are going well and just to talk to him in general. Tell him that you want to hang out, even if it's just for a couple hours as soon as he can so he'll know that you miss him. You should also try spending some quality time with your other friends or your family. It will give a chance to bond with the people you normally don't have all the time for.
If this continues to an unreasonable amount of time, like months, talk to your boyfriend again. Tell him that you love him but that at some point, he needs to make sacrifices for you too.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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i'm trying to find new and exciting things to do with my girlfriend but i'm debating on some things. i want her to piss on me. should i let her?
If you're into that and she's into that; whatever floats your boat.
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ok ive liked this guys for six months and he just asked me out like 4 days ago and i was thinking about how much i liked him compared to all of my other boyfriends and this by far is the most serious one even tho weve only been going out for 4 days it feels like i really do love him , but im have 2nd thoughts about telling him how i feel because (1 we are to totally different people as in he isnt a virgin and i am he does pot and i dont and i dont have a problem with him doing it , its just im not sure how he would react (2 he might think im nuts and walk away and tell his friends so they can stare at me even more at me during lunch (3 he may not feel the same way about me . and i have a friend of his who is a friend of mine and says that he talks about me all the time and in the "good" way. ok well let me get to the point im leaving this summer for 3 months and im leaving in about a month and i seriously cant stand not seeing him and i wanted to tell him how i felt befor i left ... should i?
*~a person with love issues~*
I strongly advise that you do not tell him you love him right now. As you said, you've only been dating four days. There are many reasons you shouldn't tell him that you love him right now. Most importantly, you could very well push him away by doing that. It's overwhelming when people jump into the 'I love you' thing too early in a relationship. Even moreso, it's hard to believe it if someone says it the first week into a relationship. Telling someone that you love them should be a very well-thought out thing. To be honest, if a guy told me he loved me four days into a relationship, I'd tell him that he doesn't know what love is. It's just a natural reaction to be turned off by that.
But, that doesn't mean you shouldn't tell him that he means a lot to you before you leave. If I were you, I would wait until right before you leave though. Then you'll have been dating a month and it would be more understandable. The things that you're feeling now, you could tell him in six months and they would have a greater effect. In six months you can say, 'I felt a stronger connection with you the first week we were dating than I did with any of my other boyfriends. I really felt like I loved you right away.' It will say more if you say it then than if you said it now.
I think that before you leave, you should go out on a nice date. Dinner and a movie or a late night walk to a beach/lake in your town. Get him something as sort of a promise for when you get back. A jacket that smells like the perfume you wear all the time or something else that shows you'll be coming back for it when you get back and that you're going to miss him.
On that date, you can tell him that the last month has meant a lot to you and that you're going to miss him and will be excited to see him when you get back. While you're gone, try to call him every couple days at least, and send him a couple postcards from where ever your vacation spot is.
Darby(:
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Hello. Me and my boyfriend have been gonng out for just ab0out 2 yrs and i went of for college in the fall and came home for xmas and then we spent time togehter and we thought we would try soemthing new and we took our pants off and started to touch eachother with our privetes. and now im scared that i might be pregnant. he didnt cum or anything we just brushed up on eachother. i need help we are only on our first yr of college we really cant have a child now.
It's very unlikely that you're pregnant if he didn't even enter you. It is possible, but highly unlikely. What's done is done, so what you need to do now is wait a couple weeks. If you're period is due in that time and it comes as scheduled and is normal, I wouldn't be too concerned. If it doesn't come as scheduled, take an at-home pregnancy test.
If it turns out you are pregnant, you will have to start weighing your options. There are really only three options. You could get an abortion, put it up for adoption, or keep it.
If I were you, I really really wouldn't worry about it too much right now. If you stress yourself out, it won't change anything except that you'll be even more worried. And as I said, I really doubt you're pregnant.
I'm sure you've thought of this now, but in case you haven't, the next time you're going to be fooling around with your boyfriend, make sure he has a condom on. Even if you aren't having sex, don't let your private parts touch unless he has a condom on.
Darby(:
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A kid at school really dosnt talk at all.even when questions are asked.I would like to be his friend.at lunch he sits at a bench and twidles his thumbs and has his head looking at the ground.he seems abused and or lonley.sat with him many times before and invited him to sit W/ me and asked his name and told him my name even.what should i say and do? please help me make his life a little better.i am 13 years old a male
It's really great that you are sensing his depression and are wanting to help him. When you invite him to sit with you at lunch, does he accept and come sit with you?
The issue with people like him in school is that he's probably used to jerks messing with him. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. People just messing around asking him his name, asking him why he doesn't talk, asking him if he's a mute. People just do that in school and I haven't an idea why.
You need to make sure that he knows you're not just messing around with him or trying to embarrass him. The best thing to do, if you're not already, is approach him alone. If you approach him with five of your friends, he's more likely to think that you guys are just trying to get a good laugh from acting like you want to be his friend.
Also, observe him a little (very sneakily) and try to distinguish what he's into. If he's wearing a Metallica shirt, it's a good indicator that he likes Metallica. If he's listening to an ipod, you can sit down next to him and ask what he's listening to. If he draws a lot, ask him if you can see some of his drawings.
Basically, try to find something, anything, that you have in common with him. If you like the same music, sports, or hobbies; you'll have some common ground to start from. A lot of friendships are built on common interest, so try hard to find some.
If you see someone messing with him, stand up for him. He'll know that you're willing to stick your neck out for him, and he may start trusting you more. So if you're in class and someone is making fun of him, tell the person to mind their own business or bugger off.
Also, you should go about these things casually. If he sees that you're making an attempt to be his friend, that's good. But if he feels like you think of him as some sort of specimen to observe and figure out, it will probably just make him angry. So just act with him like you act with the rest of your friends.
Darby(:
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i am 17 and my boyfriend is 15 and we have been a on and off relationship. like about one year ago we were together and i cheat on him with my ex i only kiss him and i told my boyfriend the next day and then we broke up for about 4 months and we got back together but one day i went to my ex boyfriend and i told him not to talk to me ever again i told him that i do not love him he got mad and he hit me and my boyfriend's dad saw me with my ex before i started talk to my ex the olny person that saw him hit me was my sister and i told my boyfriend but the only part i left out was that he hit me and we broke up on hollween for like about 7 mouths and we got back together again at my house and then thourgh out of are relationship i all ways get mad at him and get jealous but yestarday my friend was talking to him and he told her that he did not trust me just because i cheat on him that one time and i told my self that i do not want to hurt him at all because i love him and he wants to break up with me now just because he can't handle us fighting but i do not want this relationship to end i still love him so if you got any advice for me please tell me i went advice to how to tell him not to break up with me
I think the first thing you need to do is tell him what happened with your ex hitting you. All he knows right now is that you went to your ex-boyfriend to tell him that you don't love him. That probably sounds like an unlikely story, because you cheated on him with that ex before. He probably doesn't believe that you went there just to tell him that. He might think that you cheated on him again. If you tell him what really happened that time with your ex, he might be willing to forgive you for that time (that is, if he believes you)
Then, I think you need to tell him how you feel about him. Don't say, well we fight all the time because you do this and you do that and then I get mad. Don't use accusatory words like 'if you didn't do this, i wouldn't do that'.
Instead, think about the larger picture. Don't say a ton of little details like, "Well, remember that time you went to that party and didn't call me even though you said you would!?" When you're trying to salvage a relationship, it's important to just leave the details alone.
Say things like, "I really care about you and I don't like fighting with you. I want to get along like we did at the (whenever your relationship was best; beginning or middle or whatever) of our relationship. I know I get angry and jealous too quickly (taking blame for things you do wrong is good). I don't want this relationship to be over because (your reasons here. like, 'you mean so much to me, we've been together on and off for a long time, i love you, etc..'). I want to work on our relationship because I think if we got on the same page, we wouldn't argue so much."
Something along those lines, and make sure you let him talk in between. Don't say it all in one breath. Say it with heart so that he knows you really mean it. It's even better if you can say it in person so you can look into his eyes and help him feel like he can trust you. You have to be understand about why he doesn't trust you right now, and I think that you do understand why. It's good that you told him the day after the kiss happened, but of course, the kiss never should have happened.
In order for your relationship to work out, you have to stop getting angry and jealous (as long as there isn't much of a reason to get angry and jealous). Doing those things will only push him away.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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okay. im a 7th grader. and all the 7th grade guys are basicly complete assholes. and i just like as friends. i met some 6th graders. and there really nice and cute and pretty cool. this one likes me and i wanna go out with him. but hes in 6th grade and all the 7th grade guys are now always like "omg hes a fag he tries to be cool" and stuff. idk what to do!
You should go out with the sixth grader. He's nice and cute and treats you well. Yeah, the guys in your grade might mess with you and him for a slight while, but they'll get over it fairly quickly. Something else will happen that will be the topic of conversation.
There's nothing wrong with dating someone that's a year younger than you. Just tell the guys that he is cooler than they are and it doesn't matter what they think. They'll get the picture and leave you alone soon enough.
Darby(:
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Please Help!!
I am a girl and I am 13 and I have two really good friends but they are mad at me and they dont even have a reason to be. At school they are just ignoring me and doing really mean stuff and one of the girls is my BEST BEST friend!!
I am so sad and confused I have no idea what to do at all!!
please tell me if i should just stay away or ignore them or try talking again and what should I say!? i dont want to appoligize becuase i am always the one appoligizing and this time it would be for nothing even though they want me to! It sucks i just feel like moving schools I have other friends but those are my best friends
Do you know what I should do?
PLEASE answer I need ADVICE!!
--SOconfused
I'm sorry that your girl friends are acting like that. I think that happens a lot at your guys' age. My friends used to act like that all the time; but they always got over it. I think you should try to talk to them separately. If you try to talk to them when they're together, they're likely to jump on your case, just because it would be two against one.
You said one of them is your absolute best friend, so you should try to talk to her first. Say, 'I'm sorry if I did something that upset you, but I honestly have no idea why you're angry with me.'
Try to do it when you're not in school, too. If you can call her after school or something, that would be good. There could easily be too many distractions and school and you want to make sure you have her full attention when you talk to her.
You're right, you shouldn't have to apologise for something you didn't do. But it's possible that you did something that hurt their feelings when you didn't even know it would. That's why you should start the conversation out with, 'I'm sorry if I did something that upset you/hurt your feelings..'
You'll be showing that you're willing to take them blame if you really did do something that upset her. If you start the conversation out with, 'I don't know what your problem is, but you need to grow up. I didn't do anything to you', no matter what you say afterward, she won't be listening. You have to approach people in a pleasant way when they're upset with you or they won't listen, even though it would be nice to tell them what's really on your mind sometimes.
Once you talk to her, she will hopefully be able to shed some light on why they're acting like they're acting. If it turns out that you really did do something that hurt their feelings, call your other friend up. Tell her that you talked to the other one and that you're sorry for (insert what you did). Knowing that you talked to the other friend will make her more likely to forgive you right away. I'm sure she doesn't want to be the only one angry with you.
If your best friend doesn't react well, meaning she blows up on you, hangs up, or won't tell you what's going on; you should leave them be for a while. Hang out with your other friends at school until the whole thing blows over. Once you've laid your cards out on the table, it's up to them to stand up and tell you what's going on and forgive and forget.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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Im in quite a pickle at the moment and I am not sure how to fix it! 4 guys and 1 chick, one me. Here's the deal. I am dating Evan, boyfriend of 1 month 3 weeks. He is shorter than me, kinda dorky, younger, and is absolutely adorable. He is funny, sweet, and loves me! But then there's the 3 other guys and this chick who are absolutely head over heels for me. And it is very confusing out. There's this guy that I have met recently, his name is Alex(AKA Sexy Mexican) and he is my age taller than me by a few inches and he calls me more than my boyfriend(thats just sad) wants to spend ALL his time with me. He's sweet, funny, original, and uuber hot!
Then there is Lane, he is really sweet and funny and hot and looks like Nick Jonas and he is AWESOME!!! He is a total guy friend but at the same time, he is the guy I've wanted to be with my whole entire life!!! I like him sooo much, now here's the downer....he and I don't live around each other. AT ALL. He's like 6 hours away from me. It sucks, but we talk and text ALL the time.
Then there is Nick, who used to be like my older brother is now more like....idk. We chat all the time about some *cough cough* innappropriate stuff and he says he likes me all the time and he knows how I feel about him. He is tall! Like giant tall(Okay Im 5'1" and hes like 6 foot)and he isn't ugly but he aint cute either. He is okay. Funny, sweet, knows everything about me. And he still cares. That's something.
And last but not least, my ex Tuesday. She is the meaning of hot. She is funny and spontaneous and awesome and loves me. She protects me and wants to be with me and calls me and trusts me and loves the fact that I am me. She wants me to break up with my boyfriend for her. But I am not sure I want to. But this is really hard for me. I love her, but I REALLY like Evan.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!! Can someone please give me some type of answer for this? Because I can't figure it out worth crap.
Please and thank you
I agree, you are in quite the pickle. What you need to do is step back from what everyone wants you to do and go through each of the people. Write down their names on paper and write everything that you think about them. Doing this will clear your mind and help you make a better decision about who you want to be with. While you're writing things down about them, you will likely widdle a few off as you go.
Think about things like:
-Why is Tuesday my ex instead of my girlfriend?
-How would I be able to handle having a boyfriend that lives six hours from me?
-Who makes me happiest when I see their name pop up on my phone in a text/call?
-Who do I trust and see myself with the most?
-Who do I think of as a fling and who do I think of as a more serious relationship? And, do I even want a serious relationship right now?
ECT..
You may not be able to answer all of the questions, but as I said, you should be able to get rid of a few as you go through these questions. You should start seeing that one of them really isn't right for you right now, or that one does make you especially happy.
I can't honestly give you which one you should choose. There are too many choices, and with the brief provided information, there isn't much fluctuation between the five. Meaning, none of them pop out in my head as someone you should definitely be with or one that you should definitely not be with.
I can say that I really don't think you should go for Lane. It's fine to stay friends with him, but at your age, you should really be with someone that is close by. You're probably learning new things about relationships all the time, and it would really suck to miss out on being able to learn those things in person.
I also think that if you choose to stay with Evan, you need to make sure that you don't talk to Nick about inappropriate stuff, if you haven't already. You probably wouldn't like Evan to do that, so you need to make sure you stay honest with him.
From what you've said, it doesn't sound like you're much interested in Nick. You didn't really have anything great to say about him, like that he's awesome or anything. It seems like you still view him as an older brother, minus the inappropriate talks.
Tuesday sounds really great, like a good best friend. You need to think if you see her as a great friend or more than that. You seem hesitant on her, even though you only have really good things to say about her. She sounds like she makes you feel good about yourself, which is good. But, like I said earlier, you need to think about why you broke up with her before when you were dating. If it was something serious, you shouldn't go for it again.
I can't tell if you're thinking about Alex because he's hot or what. You also said that he's sweet and funny, but only you know if you see him as a fling or something more serious. You also said that you just recently met him, so make sure you're not just swept up by his looks before you make any rash decisions.
Either way, what you need to do is go through each one of them, like I just did. You'll be able to fill in tons of details that I can't, because I don't know any of them. Once you break them down, it won't be so overwhelming. Just go with your heart. There will be one person that your heart leads you to, and you might even know which person that is now. You've got to make a decision, so make sure you thoroughly think about each of them.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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A good friend told me he wanted to come visit me. He got here and within 48 hours had hooked up with a complete stranger. I never saw him at all for three days straight after that - then he went home without even calling to say "good-bye"!
Is it right that my feelings are hurt or should I be happy that at least he had a good time?
I am wishing him bad thoughts. Like, he'll get syphilis or something. Which is likely.
Am I a bad friend?
You're not a bad friend for being upset with him for not contacting you and making an effort to hang out. Instead of cursing him, you should call him and let him know that he hurt your feelings. It's not necessary to scream at him or tell him he's going to get syphilis; just get some things off your chest. Tell him that you were really looking forward to seeing him and that you thought he felt the same way. There's nothing wrong with telling someone how you feel when they've done something to hurt your feelings. Maybe he'll have an explanation, and anything is better than just moping around being upset with him.
Darby(:
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