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anger and jealous
i am 17 and my boyfriend is 15 and we have been a on and off relationship. like about one year ago we were together and i cheat on him with my ex i only kiss him and i told my boyfriend the next day and then we broke up for about 4 months and we got back together but one day i went to my ex boyfriend and i told him not to talk to me ever again i told him that i do not love him he got mad and he hit me and my boyfriend's dad saw me with my ex before i started talk to my ex the olny person that saw him hit me was my sister and i told my boyfriend but the only part i left out was that he hit me and we broke up on hollween for like about 7 mouths and we got back together again at my house and then thourgh out of are relationship i all ways get mad at him and get jealous but yestarday my friend was talking to him and he told her that he did not trust me just because i cheat on him that one time and i told my self that i do not want to hurt him at all because i love him and he wants to break up with me now just because he can't handle us fighting but i do not want this relationship to end i still love him so if you got any advice for me please tell me i went advice to how to tell him not to break up with me
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my advice for you is to just move on. i dont mean to sound rude. but my ex cheated on me in my own bed. used my car to pick up the girl. etc. it was the hardest thing in my life to do was to give up on him and tell him i didnt want him back. it was the best thing i have ever done because i meet my fiance after that and i havent been happier.. every one fights but fighting all the time isnt good. it would be best just to be single wait for that special someone you may love him but you could work it out so uns could be friends
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I think the first thing you need to do is tell him what happened with your ex hitting you. All he knows right now is that you went to your ex-boyfriend to tell him that you don't love him. That probably sounds like an unlikely story, because you cheated on him with that ex before. He probably doesn't believe that you went there just to tell him that. He might think that you cheated on him again. If you tell him what really happened that time with your ex, he might be willing to forgive you for that time (that is, if he believes you)
Then, I think you need to tell him how you feel about him. Don't say, well we fight all the time because you do this and you do that and then I get mad. Don't use accusatory words like 'if you didn't do this, i wouldn't do that'.
Instead, think about the larger picture. Don't say a ton of little details like, "Well, remember that time you went to that party and didn't call me even though you said you would!?" When you're trying to salvage a relationship, it's important to just leave the details alone.
Say things like, "I really care about you and I don't like fighting with you. I want to get along like we did at the (whenever your relationship was best; beginning or middle or whatever) of our relationship. I know I get angry and jealous too quickly (taking blame for things you do wrong is good). I don't want this relationship to be over because (your reasons here. like, 'you mean so much to me, we've been together on and off for a long time, i love you, etc..'). I want to work on our relationship because I think if we got on the same page, we wouldn't argue so much."
Something along those lines, and make sure you let him talk in between. Don't say it all in one breath. Say it with heart so that he knows you really mean it. It's even better if you can say it in person so you can look into his eyes and help him feel like he can trust you. You have to be understand about why he doesn't trust you right now, and I think that you do understand why. It's good that you told him the day after the kiss happened, but of course, the kiss never should have happened.
In order for your relationship to work out, you have to stop getting angry and jealous (as long as there isn't much of a reason to get angry and jealous). Doing those things will only push him away.
Good luck,
Darby(:
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