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My friend came to visit but hooked up and I never saw him!
A good friend told me he wanted to come visit me. He got here and within 48 hours had hooked up with a complete stranger. I never saw him at all for three days straight after that - then he went home without even calling to say "good-bye"!
Is it right that my feelings are hurt or should I be happy that at least he had a good time?
I am wishing him bad thoughts. Like, he'll get syphilis or something. Which is likely.
Am I a bad friend?
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I'm kind of on the fence.
While I think you have every right to be mad at him for ditching you, I don't think you have the right to be mad about what he chooses to do.
First off, he did pay for this trip out of his pocket. I would probably say different had you paid for the trip, but he did, not you so how he chooses to spend his money and his trip is up to him. You are not the boss of him, and he is an adult, so he can spend his vacation how he likes.
Second, while what he did was stupid (I really hope he used protection), it's his personal life and you shouldn't curse him for it. I'm sure if you did something someone else disagreed with, you wouldn't want them to wish an STD on you.
You have a right to be mad, but you don't have a right to tell him how to live his life and spend his money. It was wrong of him to ditch you, but he's an adult. If it bothers you so much, call him & tell him that he hurt you, but don't be rude about it. Just be up front & polite. You can express anger without being rude, yelling, etc. :) Good luck.
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It's perfectly fine to be upset that your feelings were hurt. He did kind of ditch you.
Talk to him about it and let him know how it made you feel. Maybe he didn't realize you were so upset about it?
--Jack
(17/m)
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I think you should be feeling a bit of both. You should be glad he had a good time, but a bigger part of you has the right to have hurt feelings.
He told you that he wanted to come visit YOU, and then he ditched you to hook up with somebody that he just met. You should be a bit upset with him, because that's not very nice at all.
As for the bad thoughts, it's ok to be angry with him, but you don't need to wish bad thoughts upon him. Talk to him, let him know that you're hurt. Otherwise, he'll just do it again and again and again, because he won't know that it bothers you as much as it does.
-Laura (17-f)
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No, my best guy friend of 4 years moved 8 hours away right before our last two years of high school. He comes down and surprises me occansionally but Igbo were to find out that he came down and did all that I wouldn't exectly be happy about.
So no you aren't a horrible friend. You don't have to say anything about it cause it us difficultvto make up at such a distance but just keep telling yourself you are not a horeible person.
Peace and love :)
~Kate
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You're not a bad friend for being upset with him for not contacting you and making an effort to hang out. Instead of cursing him, you should call him and let him know that he hurt your feelings. It's not necessary to scream at him or tell him he's going to get syphilis; just get some things off your chest. Tell him that you were really looking forward to seeing him and that you thought he felt the same way. There's nothing wrong with telling someone how you feel when they've done something to hurt your feelings. Maybe he'll have an explanation, and anything is better than just moping around being upset with him.
Darby(:
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