about

I am a 29/f that loves to listen and try to help out. I have always been the one people go to for advice.

I will tell you how I feel about it. If you don't like my answer, I'm sorry. However, usually what I say is true, people just can't handle the truth.

advice

Hi
I just moved to a new school in my old neighborhood, I have been away for almost three years and all my friends are gone! I have begun making friends and I am doing better. But, my self-confidence has lowered so much. I used to be outgoing and funny, now im shy and more afraid. I need help and advice about how i can get back to being my old self, i am great once i step out of my shell. Also I have had a crush and I just found out that he likes another girl and that she likes him back. I see her having everything I don't and I think that is because of my confidence and self-esteem as well. If you can help it would be great!
thanks

I would first let you know that in time all things get better. I am assuming that since you said just moved back, we are talking a month or less? Of course you are feeling self-confident, you were basically transplanted from your normal healthy life, and placed somewhere that even though it was once a part of your life, you have moved on and developed new friendships.

It is terrible that all of your friends have moved away, but this is the time in your life where you are going to have to start meeting new people. As hard as it will be at first, it will get easier. The more comfortable you feel with your surroundings, the better you will acquaint yourself with other people. I bet you are still outgoing and funny, it has just been supressed right now because you are feeling alienated from all that you were used to.

About this guy, at least you haven't done anything to make it ackward for yourself, by letting him know that you have a crush on him. This will probably be a wait and see thing. Let those two work out what they are feeling, and if they get together, just let it go, unless they break up. If they don't get together, then all's fair in love and war. Just remember to be yourself and things will fall into place in no time, you'll see.

Happy "new beginnings" to you!

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well im 17 and i like boys you can say im a little boy crazy and i have had boyfriends in the past but at my school there are alot of couples and i get all sad when i see cute couples walking in school when ever i see them hold hands i get sad whenever i see the couples kiss or play around i get all sad and i start to feel lonley i dont know what to do i mean im not ugly you know and im pretty nice... how do i get a boyfriend? if thats not the right think to do then what do i do to not feel lonley but still have a guy without him being my boyfriend and if then how do i just get my mind of boys???? :) any advice?

Have you ever heard that expression, "the grass is always greener on the other side"? I have this problem sometimes too. I always get wrapped up in the what-ifs. See, I am married, have been for 6 years now. However, sometimes I let my mind wander off and think what would it be like to be single again. It is always that nagging feeling of could my life be different if I were to do this instead of this. Let me tell you what I have learned, I am right were I am suppose to be, because God leads us down the path that we are suppose to be on. It is up to us, to take that path and make the best of it.

If you are set on wanting to find a boyfriend, find someone that you wouldn't mind being friends with first. At least this way, it takes the pressure off of finding a boyfriend and not being yourself. You should never feel lonely, just think "hey, I am alive, healthy, and free to make my own decisions." Once you realize that you are perfect for who you are, and not disabled because of what you are not, you will feel comfortable with yourself and start to develop healthy relationships.

Happy "blissfullness" to you!

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i lov a girl n she loves me too. she was in a relation with a boy for an year then they broke up.she said that on the name of physical relationship she had only smooched him once. after 6 months since our relationship started i met with the boy and he claims to hav had sex with her,when i questioned her she admitted that he had touched her , but not below the belt. now should i belive her or not? is she telling the truth?
she say she cant live withot me but am a kind of guy who wants to marry a virgin girl.
p.s. i am 19 and my girlfriend is 18.

If you are too concerned, there is an option to find out if she has lost her virginity. You can take her to the doctor and have her hymen checked. That is the only way to ensure that she is a virgin.

I want to say a few things, first, it is very rare that if someone is in a relationship for a year, that they only kissed once. It is also unrealistic to believe that she would expect you to believe this. I agree that yes she lied to you, but it may have not been as bad as you think.

The other thing that I wanted to mention is trust. If you cannot trust her to tell you the truth, or you don't believe her, then this relationship is doomed to fail before you even give her the chance to explain herself. A relationship is based on trust, and once you lose that trust, it is hard to gain back.

It is hard to tell if she is lying or telling the truth, because we aren't the ones living in this situation. We don't know her personally and we can't judge a lie from the truth based on the information you have given us. It is best to say that communication is key when it comes to relationships. I would suggest talking to her. Let her know that you can possibly overlook the fact that she isn't a virgin, but you cannot over look the fact that she lied to you repeatedly. Maybe then, you two can work together and find a compromise on this situation.

Happy "findings" to you!

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will terrence give me a call back soon?

This isn't a magic eight ball. First we do not know what you are talking about. Second, we don't know the circumstances in which you are in. Finally, we do not know either one of you. My suggestion is to ask a question that warrants an answer that you couldn't get from a magic eight ball. Other than that, here is the link you may need to check out.
http://lord.xopl.com/ulpage3a/8-ball.html

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Does anyone know any books that mention Harriet Beecher Stowe's Uncle Tom's Cabin? I'm doing a report on Uncle Tom's Cabin and I need 5 print sources. Does anyone have any ideas?

I'm not trying to sound rude, but have you tried googling this question? For the most part, we are not allowed to give answers to homework. However, we are allowed to direct people to areas in which they will help. This is the best I can do for you.
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=Harriet+Beecher+Stowe%27s+Uncle+Tom%27s+Cabin&btnG=Google+Search

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At school we are doing jello wrestling, and to be in it you need to play a characters and kinda have a skit.

My friends and I are going to be the deal or no deal models. There are four of us and we would all like to have on the same dress like the tv show.

Where can we find some that are really cheap, any kind is fine, just not too too formal, under $25 would be nice since we are going to probably ruin them by rolling around in jello

Thanks

Whatever kind you decide to do, make sure you get it in dark colors, like black, navy blue, or dark brown. The reason is light color fabric, when gets wet, tends to be see-through. So, unless you want to show the whole school everything God gave you, stick with dark colors.

The deal or no deal models, is a good idea. If you are going to do that, here are some sites with inexpensive dresses that may work for what you are wanting to do.
http://www.amazon.com/Isaac-Mizrahi-Ebony-Strplss-Dress/dp/B000FFWWL0/ref=sr_1_11?ie=UTF8&s=apparel&qid=1204839552&sr=1-11
http://www.amazon.com/American-Apparel-Racerback-Dress-X-Large/dp/B0007LZ5CU/ref=sr_1_23?ie=UTF8&s=apparel&qid=1204839552&sr=1-23
Another option would be to go to Ross's. They have great deals.

I do have a suggestion for another idea if you are interested. Instead of doing the deal or no deal models, you could all be contestants in the Miss America pagent. During the either A) swimsuit competition (easier to clean, and less expensive) B) during the evening gown part, you could have someone asking the question of what you want for the world to become a better place, and you could all say "World Peace", after you all say world peace, a "fight" could break out over who would be better at making world peace happen. Thus, making the irony of saying world peace while all of you are fighting. Just a suggestion.

Happy "sludging" to you!!

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for a very long time nothing boy wise was going my way i would start talking to a boy then as soon as i started liking him something would happen and we would stop talking like that well last weekend i was hanging at my friends cousins house and we really clicked and we kissed so i thought that things were finally working out for me but he hasnt called. i honestly dont know what else to do. i feel like theres something wrong with me but i dont know what to think anymore. any comments/advice>!>

The unfortunate problem with guys at this age, and I am assuming teen age, is they are more concerned with themselves than finding that one true love. Most teen aged boys are more concerned with school, sports, school activities, friends, hanging out, and unfortunately sex. I am not saying all are like this, but a majority are.

It could be that you are attracted to the wrong type of boy, and this makes it more complicated for you. This will also destroy your self-esteem and make you doubt your appeal to turn on the opposite sex.

I would suggest finding someone that you are comfortable with and start as friends. If things take a turn for the worse, your heart wasn't attached and you can feel good that you weren't turned down as a potential love interest. If things start to take a turn for the better, then you know you have found someone that you are friends with first and the connection is already there.

One thing to keep in mind, don't wear your heart on your sleeve. Also, don't let them know that they got the best of you. If you play it off so it looks as if you weren't affected by their actions, chances are they will become more intrigued.

Happy "better times" to you!!

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ill be 15 in a week and im with this guy and im kinda prude. i dont really no how to not be prude like i just feel akward soometimes when he like feels me up and stuff. and his friend asked me today why i went to his house last nite and no one was there and we didnt do n e thing then he called me prude. i feel so akward now. and idk what he ment by doing nothing but we couldnt have sex or n e thing cuz im on my period but he doesnt no that. ahhhhh this suckss. i would appricate some advicee =]

I am not trying to sound all momish or anything, but you will know when you are ready. This is not something you can do to just get it over with and hope for the best. This is something that you have to do with your head, and not your heart or embarassment.

As for last night, tell him that there were reasons beyond your control and in the hands of Mother Nature interfering with your ability to take things further last night. If he doesn't understand that, just tell him it was a female thing. He should understand that. Also, this may help him comprehend why things didn't escalate any further, and make him back off on the name calling.

Ok, going to go all momish again. Do you really want to lose your virginity to someone who pressures you and calls you names? I would think you would want to be with someone that makes you happy and completes you as a person, not belittles you. Remember you have the right to be A) treated with respect and B) move at the pace that is comfortable for you. If the person you are with doesn't understand that, then maybe he is not the right one for you.

Happy "soul searching" to you!

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i have been going tanning for about two weeks, once every 2 or 3 days....i dont use lotion.
today when i went tanning after i noticed that my legs were realyl splotchy...like some parts were super tan and then other spots werent so tan
idk why my legs are like that...is it because i dont use tanning lotion?

Another idea for you to be aware of, is turning in the bed. Most people think they just go in there, lay down, and stay there in one spot until the time is up. That is not true. The tanning beds have a higher heat rate on the bottom bulbs, so it causes uneven tanning. I would suggest that if you are in the bed for 8 minutes, you turn from each side every two minutes. For example, the first two minutes lay on your back. After that, the next to minutes turn to one of your sides. Then, after those two minutes, you turn on your stomach for two minutes. For the last two minutes, you would turn on the other side. This will make it a more even tan. Whatever your minutes are, just divide by 4 and turn that many minutes later.

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I have three friends and there this girl first she calls my sister stupid Just because shes special, then she acts like shes all that when shes passing her invations, to her party then she ditches us when a new clique give her a chance to hang out with them. Then turns out that she gets in a fight with one of the girls of that clique. And wants to hang out with us again so we give her one more chance.And that clique gets jelous and wants her back and she ditches us again for them. But wait now the leader of the clique dosent like her so when she comes back they tell her that they didnt want to hang out with her no more.And guess what she does next she comes back wanting to hang out with us me and my best friend say no we dont want out hang out with her but my other 2 friends say we do. And I say, fine but if she stays I leave and they let me leave. and Finally i tell that girl off and a couple minutes later she starts crying and but was I right to leave my old friends cause of this?

There is a thing that seperates us from the animal kingdom, called communication. It is how we set ourselves apart from animals that don't know how to work out problems without fighting it out. Communication is the best weapon any person has to get feelings across, get past problems, and to make a situation better. Practicing now will make it easier for you in several aspects of your life in the future, i.e. friends, relationships, and careers. The more you learn to communicate effectively, the better at solving problems you will become.

Why am I saying this, relating to your problem? Easy, communicate with the girl that has hurt people and with the group that you hang around with. I realize it is easier to just walk away from a situation that you are less than thrilled with. However, when you confront your problems head on, you develop character. It helps you to feel in control of your own actions and destiny. It never hurts to communicate with those people to ensure that everyone can work on their faults.

Let your friends know that you were hurt by her, and they should have been too. They could at least all sit down and talk this over with the other girl before letting someone walk away with no thought to your feelings. Let this girl know that you thought of her as a good friend and she hurt your feelings. Also, tell her that you can heal from being hurt, but you cannot just forgive her on the spot. It is going to take time to work on your relationship with her, but it will happen. Let her know politely, that you would prefer if she would just stop going from one group to the next. Tell her that it is okay for her to have other friends, but to keep the friends that she has now.

Lord, I feel like such a girl scout at this time. The old saying "make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver, but the other's gold". It does have some truth to it though!

Happy "friends" to you!!

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17/f

ok so my best friend who just so happens to be a guy do everything together. people call him for me and people call me for him..
anyways, one day he calls my house not quite being his self. he starts talking stupid and stuff so im tryin to figure out whats up. well eventually he starts cryin and sayin how much he loves me right.
i like any normal person was in complete shock and didnt know what to say. i told him to just call me when hes sober and we ll talk about it then...
thats the right thing to do right?
we were talking and i explained that i would much rather be friends because im moving away in june and idk how a long distance relationship will work with me being in college and all. he didnt like the sounds of that and he completely stopped talking to me. i was mortified.. my bff not talking to me for whatever reasons but i thought he would get over it. this happened right before christmas and he is now willing to be friends again which im happy with but its weird to say i think with not talking to him for this long has made me miss him on a whole different level..
i think im in love with my best friend and i have no idea how to tell him saying that i hurt him so badly a couple months ago.
im not expecting him to be like "omg ill do anything to be with you"
BUT IM STUCK!!
any suggestions on what to do??

Have you ever heard the expression "If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you, it was yours to begin with"? I think you just had that moment. That alone will tell you that your relationship could take the long distance aspect. If you truly think you love him, then give it a shot. You have already lost his friendship once before, so if things go sour in a relationship with no recovery of becoming friends, then you already know how it is going to feel like. The good thing about that is, you are going to be in a new place, with new friends, and it will help you move on. That is if it doesn't work out between you and him.

Now, for the way to approach him and let him know your feelings, just tell him that while you two weren't talking, it left a hole in your heart. You couldn't figure out why it was hurting you so bad to not have him in your life, even as a friend, and that is when you realized that you love him too. Let him know that you were shocked by his confession of love to you and didn't know how to handle it. Tell him that you hope he can see past all of this and realize that maybe this was the best thing for you two so you could realize your true feelings for him as well.

Happy "love" to you!!

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okay im a 15 year old female and well im thinking about starting to shave "down there" but i have one question.. do you need to shave all the hair off or just like the bikini line.. also i shave my legs but i was talking to all my friends and they shave their whole leg like up to where shorts usually go and well i only shave up to my kneee. should i start shaving my whole leg? answers would be appreciated thanks :]

Any way you shave, it is a personal decision on technique, amount, and where. Now, with that said, here are the options you have.

1- waxing- get it done professionally if you are going to do it. They will ask you what type of wax you want to do. There are a number of things you can do, but take my word for it, do not do the brazillian wax. Let them know what you want, wheter it be all the hair removed, or just leaving a triangle but getting the bikini line.

2- shaving- let me start by saying this, if the hair above your knee is not noticable or even enough to be concerned with, I wouldn't worry about it. If anything, you could shave this area either every month or every other month. However, if you have dark and noticable hair above your kneee, I would shave it when you start noticing it.

When you do the pubic region, you have to be careful on how you do it. First, make sure that it has been soaked in warm water for at least 20 minutes. This opens your pores and hair follicles, allowing easier removal. It also lessens the chances for ingrown hairs. Use plenty of shaving cream and a new razor. I would suggest trimming your hair first with either an electric razor or scissors to ensure the blade life on your razor. I would suggest experimenting with different styles and finding the one you like best. Some styles are the triangle above your pubic bone, a small square patch (called the Hitler 'stache) or a small thin line going from just below panty line to right above your pubic bone (called the landing strip) or completely shaved (called "HELLO, HERE I AM").

3- depilatory creams/nair- if you use this, make sure to test it on a small area first to ensure you do not have an allergic reaction to it. Follow the steps on the bottle using the technique you desire.

I will say that you are the best judge of what you are comfortable with. The more you get practiced at it, and the more you find your preferences, the easier it will become.

Happy "trails" to you!!

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ok so this is a little disgusing...
my crotch smells. is there anything i can do to make it stop?

female

First of all, if it is a very foul odor, it could be something you need to discuss with a doctor. You could have a plethora (had to use it, yg & ygs that was for you!!) of different ifections, like yeast infection, bladder/kidney/UTI infection, vaginosis, or any numerous of things. The best way to find out is to go to the doctor.

If you cannot go to the doctor, there is a product over the counter that diagnoses problems in your vaginal area. It is made by Vagisil called the Vagisil Screening Kit. This may help eliminate any fears of being really sick.

I have several suggestions for you on how to maintain freshness in your vaginal area. For starters, never douche. Your vagina has a natural cleaning agent that cleanses your insides for you, douching causing disruption in your ph levels and will cause more harm than good.

Next, make sure you wash your vagina at least twice a day to ensure cleanliness. In between times, you can use sanitary wipes for freshening up. Make sure that after you have used the restroom, you wipe from front to back, if you don't it can cause more infections. You can use two other products as well to help with this problem, one is a deodarant powder, the other is a deodarant spray. They are both made for your lower regions.

Here is a website that may help you make a more informed decision on how to handle your situation. Also, it can give you tips, advice, and product information. http://www.vagisil.com/

Happy "fresher times" to you!

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What are some of the best sites to do do free background checks? So many of the ones i find are not free. i want one that shows you prior last name, age, etc.

thanks

I honestly do not know of any free background checks. They all have a fee for finding and displaying the information. I would suggest if you are trying to find out information about a current boyfriend/girlfriend, and they are of legal age, contact your local police department to see if they have any records. This is public knowledge and you are able to obtain this information.

I know that you can go to your local State Bureau Investigation and get a report from them as well. I do believe though that you have to have their signature and the cost is somewhere around $10.

Also, if you want to know about a criminal background, you can search your states department of corrections website. This will give you offender searches. Of course, if the person in question is from another state, they won't be in your states database. It could be that you have to do searches throughout the entire 50 states websites.

You can just do google searches on their name and see if you can find any information. The chances of finding that particular person, however, is slim.

Below is a consumer guide on background check companies that you may find useful. http://www.consumers-guides.org/backgroundcheckreviews/?gclid=CMOel4fP9pECFQJEPAod7jerxA


I'm sorry that I couldn't find any sites to help you out, and believe me I looked. I believe the reason most companies will not give out this information for free, is because of overuse. If you could research everyone around you, there site would be jammed up with traffic and no monetary gains to help support the band width.

Happy "Googling" to you!

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Hey! does anybody know exactly when the Ferris wheel was invented? They only state when it was first showcased, but I need the date of when he invented it! Thanks :)

From all the searches I have done for this topic, the best answer would be that he invented it at the banquet in 1891. He scribbled a sketch of a ferris wheel thus making it the invention date. Here is a link which provides information
http://inventors.about.com/library/inventors/blrollercoaster.htm

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Does Leap year, affect your period in any way?

Only after February 29th of the leap year. It will cause you to have to subtract one day from your normal cycle, because you are adding a day into your cycle.

For example, if you stared your period on January 27th, your next period would be on February 24th, in March it would be on the 23rd. If your periods are 28 days exactly until your next start date (meaning completely regular and normal periods) this is how your cycle would be. So, from January 27th to February 24th is 28 days. February 24th to March 23rd is 28 days. So, if you normally start on March 1st, you would end up starting on February 29th instead.

Of course, there are times when your period will vary on start time due to different aspects in your life.

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so i've been thinking about having anal sex and im just wondering how bad it hurts, how to do it and some friends who've done it tell me stories about how sometimes when the guy pulls out they have poop on them and im just wondering how much of this is fiction or fact

Without getting too graphic with this question, I am going to answer as discreetly as I can.

1) It does hurt. Just remember, it generally needs to be an exit only situation, unless your doctor is checking for something.

2) After the pull-out, yes there can be poop on him, even worse on you and whatever you are laying on.

3)I actually won't tell you how to do this procedure, for fear that this would be giving you bad advice, or at least contrary to my beliefs.

4) I know you didn't ask this question, but I figured I would give you this bit of factual information, so you can make an educated decision.

Your back side carries a lot of different bacteria, which in turn get into your front side. This would cause you to get infections.

I would not advise doing this action.

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okay.
unwanted hair
tell me how to get rid of:
NO WAXES. NO WAXES.

tummy hair (underneath belly button area)
back..? O_O
upper lip
eyebrows


thanks

There are a few choices you can make.

1) depilatory cream- removes your hair by applying a lotion type solution to your skin with the hair, and dissolves the hair. Typical products that go in this category are GiGi Hair Removal Cream or you can purchase over-the-counter depilatory cream. Below is a link on using depilatory creams. http://www.danistroom.com/inspirations/beauty-and-health/beauty-therapies/depilatory-cream-hair-removal.htm

2)Nair- there is a variety of products that you can use by the makers of Nair. It can irritate your skin, so I would make sure to test a small area before doing your body hair. Below is a link of all the Nair products offered.
http://www.naircare.com/products/products.aspx

3) Below is a link that offers other ways to remove hair, from hair removal kits, inhibitors, hair removal cream, electrolysis, epilators, waxing, and sugaring. From what I hear, sugaring is a great way to remove hair. It is like waxing but is suppose to be very tolerable and not as painful.
http://www.naturalwellbeing.com/hair-removal-c2.cfm

I would like to mention a few things.

A) Always test products on a patch of skin before using it all over, due to allergic reactions.

B) If you ever see a hair remover device that is like a piece of sandpaper glued together, DON'T use this product. It literally is sandpaper. When you use this, it burns your skin, gives you a "carpet burn" feeling where you used it, and your hair is still there. I found this out the hard way.

Happy Trails to you!!

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that song by shirley bassey, do you think it would be good to sing for a middle school talent show? i can sing it pretty well but how can i control breathing while i sing so that you cant hear that i breathe inbetween? thanks and thanks lol i love shirley bassey she has an amazing voice!

14/f

This is a great song. I remember when Heath Ledger sang it on 10 Things I Hate About You.

With that being said, to keep from being to breathy when you sing, make sure you sing from your diaphram and not your lungs. This will help project and keep your voice consistent.

Another problem as to why you may be able to hear yourself, you are paying more attention to it. I remember when I was singing for Vocal class, I would start listening to my breathing, and it would make me off count. The best thing for that would be to just relax and ignore it.

Good Luck!!

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I am in 6th grade, and I would like to know what to do when I like a girl, and I can't talk to her because I am too nervous, and the girl is quiet and shy. What do I do in a situation such as this? Also, she is in my academic classes. She doesn't sit next to me, but in the morning in History class she sits 2 seats away. Another problem is that this girl likes me and she sits next to me, and she sits next to the girl I like. Please help? Also, I am not looking for bad answers such as "You can't go out with a girl in 6th grade it's to early." because it isn't early around where I live. I know a few people in my class that have boyfriends/girlfriends. Also, I am in the pinnacle program which is for smart students.

You are not too young to have a girlfriend. You are too young to have sexual intercourse or get married, but other than that you are good. I had a boyfriend when I was in the 4th grade. I thought I was totally cool because of it. So, trust me I understand and don't doubt for one second that you aren't ready.

Here is what I would suggest.

1- Let the other girl know that you are not interested in her as a girlfriend because you like someone else, but you would like for you two to be friends.

2- Start talking to the girl that you like. Even if it is for help at school. If you see that she is struggling with an assignment, offer to help her. I would suggest not acting smug though, because that can turn a girl off.

3- Find out who her friends are and see if you have a common friend. If you do, then you can try to see if they can set you up together.

4- Just go up to her and ask her. No guts no glory right? What is the worse that can happen? She would say no. However, it takes a lot of courage to be straightforward and honest with someone.

I wish you luck. Hopefully soon, you will have your girlfriend and you will be asking questions on what to get her for Easter ;)

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