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I sometimes take long breaks from the site. I'm more than happy to answer anyone's questions, but just make sure they're not too time sensitive. :)

Facts about me:
*happy
*employed
*married
*large extended family
*bisexual
*advanced college degree
*no kids (yet)

advice

I have a 2 questions for religious people, preferably Christians. One, what is the purpose of other planets that do not have life, and two, how and where do ice ages fit into history, creation, and God's plan?

I'm Christian so I'm not trying to prove anyone wrong. Please don't answer if you are an athiest or agnostic.

I'm not sure how reliable these sources are, but here they are. :)

The Ice Age - all the way at the bottom of this page
http://www.christiancourier.com/articles/read/the_woolly_mammoth_and_the_ice_age

I'm not sure how much of this one I believe, but here it is
http://www.jesus21.com/writers/carlson/iview1.html

This page has a lot of information
http://www.carm.org/questions_other.htm

I couldn't find anything about why the planets were there, but in my opinion, it doesn't matter why God created other planets. Maybe out of boredom or experimentation before the Earth and life were created? Maybe to give us something to discover and study? It's all up to your own interpretation. Some of the most scholarly Christians will have completely opposite views about this. You can ask God when you get into heaven. :)

My opinion about the ice ages is that the Bible isn't very complete. It doesn't include information about everything. There may be some miniscule mention of ice, cold, or wooly mammoths in there, but the Bible is more of guidelines on how to live than an account of history. I think that the explanation given about how it happened after the flood makes a lot of sense.

Ask your pastor about this I'm sure that he or she will be more than happy to talk to you about these types of things. Your pastor will know a bit more than me. Great questions by the way. :)

16/f this morning my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's had sex before, but until 8 hours ago I was a virgin. He's been tested and he doesn't have any diseases. We used a condom and everything went ok. It hurt, but I know that's normal. Then afterwards I had to wear a pad for about an hour because I was bleeding. I also know this is normal if it's your first time. But then, just a minute ago I used the bathroom for the first time since this morning and peeing stung. Is THAT normal?? How long until it goes away? I'm kinda freaking out. Thanks for any help you can offer.
-De-Virginized At 7

I wouldn't worry just yet. It is probably because you just had sex. If it still hurts to pee in a few days, you probably have a urinary tract infection and will need to see a doctor. Good luck. :)

This is mostly for the ladies, or the gays pertaining to his or her boyfriend. If you and your boyfriend were messing around and he got hard but couldn't hold an erection for very long or had an orgasm, does it turn you off or make you think less of him to a point where you no longer want to have a relationship with him? (he says that it's not you but just because he's nervous). This is simply just messing around like playing naked no intercourse or anything.

The point is, is that I get really nervous around the guy i'm dating, we're not official but we've been going out for more than a month now. We have been messing around and I can't seem to hold an erection for very long. I believe it is because I am nervous and have performance anxiety... during the time that we've been dating, I have messed around with other guys that were not looking for relationships and have found that I can hold my erection for quite sometime... I'm really confused because I don't know whether or not it's just there's no physical attraction between us or just because i'm nervous... neither of us have really had a steady relationship or just a steady dating partner... I really don't know what to do and I think it's bothering him more than me... Any advice??

Hooking up is an exciting thing. Messing around with your boyfriend tends not to be. Try changing the scenery a bit. Be spontaneous. Make it exciting. Get a little kinky. Do some role playing, risk the chance of getting caught, use porn or toys...the list goes on. The most important thing of all - DON'T PLAN IT. Even in your head. Do things at the spur of the moment and don't be afraid to get a little crazy. I think that talking to your boyfriend about it could help. Tell him you're having a bit of performance anxiety. I'm sure he'll understand. If my boyfriend were having trouble I'd want to help him get through it I wouldn't think any less of him or his attraction to me. I'll bet your boyfriend would be more than happy to surprise you with a little sexual spontaneity to get you going. Good luck! :)

I really like high jump, but Im not that good. I went to nationals this year, but I didnt do so well. Any advice on how to get better??

I used to high jump. I loved it. I wasn't very good, but good enough for a D school (I would win with jumps of 4'8'' haha). You've been to nationals. You probably know all the tricks, warmups, stretches, techniques, and math involved. What helped me the most was the support that I received. Everyone was behind me. My science teacher, my sister's math teacher, and my old coach all wanted to help me. They gave me a lot of tips and I felt like I had my own team of personal trainers. It was great. All the help they gave me though, only what my science teacher said to me helped at all after I learned the basic how-to's. He kept saying over and over, "don't overthink it". High jumping is a pretty simple thing. Do it with your heart instead of your head. The more you think, the more complicated it gets. Forget about all the angles and the tricks. Pretend like it's your first time doing it again. You're excited, carefree, maybe a little scared, but smiling your face off because high jumping is just about the coolest thing ever and you're doing it. You already know how to do it. You'll do it right. So basically what I'm saying is, adjusting your attitude is the best thing you can do. You really like high jump, but do you love it? If you love it, it doesn't matter how you do. If it doesn't matter how you do, there's no pressure and you'll just be having a good time. When you are just out to have fun, you're totally confident. That is a winning attitude. Good luck. :)

Okay, so I'm going to need to fast for a long period of time to get a bunch of blood work done, ect. (I'm getting cholesterol tests, which is why I cant eat the days of the tests) so I was wondering if there are any ways to get my mind off food. I'm huge on eating many snacks during the day, so this will be hard for me. If any of you have any effective tecniques or anything, please help me out. =D.

Thanks Alot in advance!!
-Lynn.

You don't have to fast that long to get a cholesterol test. What, like half a day? That's not a long period of time. It's not going to be a problem. There's not really any techniqes. Just don't eat anything. It's going to suck a little, but there's nothing you can really do about it. Don't eat a ton before you have to fast because it will stretch your stomach out and make you hungrier. Keep busy instead of sitting around. Make sure you have a full meal the night before. Have something ready for when you get out from the doctor too. Good luck. :)

if i go to a community college wat kind of classes do i take?
-like to make up my grades and then transfer?
-is it like two lost years?
-do i hav to wait two years or can i do it in one year?
-i really dont know anything about this

You can take whatever classes you want to take at a community college. Try taking general education courses. Basic classes in all different subjects. They are usually really easy. Most colleges have these types of requirements so any credits you earn should easily transfer to a different college. You don't have to get a degree from the community college you leave. You can go there for one semester, a year, 2 semesters, 4, or even more if you want. It's not lost time at all. It will help make the transition from high school to college much easier. I think it's a great idea. I was thinking about doing it myself. Talk to your guidance counselor or someone from the Admissions office of the community college that you are thinking about attending. They should be able to answer any questions that you have. Good luck. :)

can u please give me some ideas and topics for me and my boyfriend to talk about we seem to have a communication problem and it is destroying our relationship. we love each other so much though. i am a 26 year old female and my boyfriend is 30

1000 Questions for Couples

http://www.questionsforcouples.com/

It will probably save your relationship. It's awesome. It costs about $20 I believe, but it is well worth the money for any couple. :)

Good luck!

Yesterday I ran away.
I've been ditching alot and I have plans in life with my friends and they are like everything to me.
I hate school.
I hated being home so much I asked my friend if I could stay at her house and my mom hates her. she said no because she didnt want the cops coming to her house.
She took me home and I stayed there for an hour and I cried and I stopped a realized I didn't want to be there
I live in las vegas so I pretty much walked 20 miles to my friends house and I stayed there.
I felt bad but I had nowhere to go and I just needed to be away for the weekend.
Well my mom found her number and called her and threatened to get the police on her.Well instead she told her to come pick me up at 530 and she did because I didn't want to do that to my friend.
I'm still so very miserable here.
What should I do? I'm just so confused I need someone to talk to
anyone

I don't know what has happened in your life to feel so much hatred so I'm not going to judge you. If you need someone to talk to I think that a hotline would be the best option. I wish you the best of luck and unless you are being abused or something I hope that you stay at home. Your mom cares about you whether she shows it or not. Your friends haven't had the experiences that she has had in her life. She is trying to protect you from making mistakes. She's definitely going about it the wrong way, but her intentions are good. I think that you both would benefit from either going to counseling together, or sitting down and telling each other everything in a calm, mature way. A little bit of talking can go a long way. If her parenting style is what the problem is, counseling would help a lot. It sounds like she's a single mom. If so, it's probably hard for her. Cut her a little slack. :)

Try one of these. It's not going to make things any worse and it could help a lot.

Runaway Hotline
1-800-231-6946

Runaway Hotline
1-800-621-4000

How do you deal with a death from someone you didn't even know? There was a girl who had gotten into a car accident and was killed. The driver got out with minor injuries, but everyone's crying and even though I didn't know her, I still feel like crying. I've been crying off and on and I don't know how to deal with it. I don't want to go to counseling or anything either. Please help me if you can. Thanks.

Unfortunately, sadness and crying are contageous. It'll wear off after a while. Deal with it like you would deal with any sad event in your life. It's okay to cry. Especially over something like this. That's such a terrible thing to have happened. It's kind of like crying over a sad movie. You don't know the people in it, and it's not even real, but it still makes you cry. What you are going through is a little stronger than just a sad movie. It happened to a real person and her real family and friends are devastated. The sadness will wear off after awhile. If it's seriously affecting your life, counseling would be a good idea. If it's not that serious, don't let it worry you. You are a great person to care so much. It's completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of at all. Good luck. :)

ok theres this guy and hes older than i am and has a lot more sexually experience considering that im a virgin and really havent done anything yet and he knows it and well we knew eachother for a few months and we would talk and than after that he dissapeared for like 2 months and i heard he had a feiance and than seen him making out with another gurl while talking to me and well i just seen him latly and we exchanged numbers and well weve been kinda talking and the first night we were talking he was asking if i would ever sleep with him and asking me all this other stuff and mostly talking bout sex and he told me that the first time we hangout he bets that he can make me loose my virginty to him the first time we hang out but made it a point to say that he wont force me cause he wouldnt have to and than the second convo was much different we didnt talk bout sex once we joked and shit but after that first convo i dont know plus he moves pretty fast so is he just in it for sex or no plus were just talking not dating so what should i do should i hang out or no if i do what if i say no and he still trys to cause hes gonna be a perfessional boxer and well my mom and dad dont know so were talking on the down low help before i make a big mistake

Oh geez, this guy is an asshole! Stay away from him. He's obviously very sexually active. He could easily have an STD. You don't want that. Plus, don't you want your first time to be special instead of with a slut like him? I know that talking about sex with him is interesting and exciting being that you haven't ever done it before. It makes you feel so good that you start to consider it. What could it hurt, right? It could hurt you a lot. Just as bad as an STD, he could get you pregnant. He doesn't seem like the type of guy that would stick around and be a father. Don't let your hormones decide! Use your head. Sex has a lot of consequences. Emotional as well as physical. You could get really messed up. It will not be a positive experience and you'll definitely regret having done it. Having sex with him is a bad idea. I really hope that you don't. Good luck.

Check out this website if you're still not sure - http://www.coolnurse.com/sex.htm

I like my best friends boyfriend. I can't help it! I would NEVER date him, even if they broke up because thats just wrong and mean to my best friend. What can I do to get over him? He seems perfect and I wish that my best friend hadnt gone out with him in the first place. But I feel really bad for thinking that.

It's very normal to like your friend's boyfriend. Basically, you like him because your friend does. It's a similar phenomenon to starting to like someone when you find out they like you after never even giving them a second thought. It's different of course, but similar. If she wasn't dating him, your feelings probably wouldn't be as strong as they are for him.

I think you should talk to your friend about it. Get everything out in the open. Tell her exactly what you said here. You would never date him, but you can't help but like him and it's making you feel bad. Telling her will make you feel a lot better. If she gets mad about it, she's a total bitch and doesn't deserve to be your friend. Friends, especially best friends, should be able to have completely open communication with each other. Telling her about it may even make some of your feelings go away. She should be totally understanding. Of course other girls are going to like him, he's a great guy. Maybe she can even tell you some really nasty things about him that'll turn you off from liking him. My guess is that she would be a huge help. :)

Good luck!

I'm 13 and i habe b36 boobs.I'm 120lbs and everything and i don't have my period. I don't want it- but I just wanna know when i'm going to get it. My mom died when I was younger so i can't ask her (duh haha), and my aunt can't remember. Is there like a website or something where you can plug in information and like get back a certain date?

thankss

You should be getting it very soon. It should come about year after your boobs start growing and about 6 months after your pubic hair starts growing. Good luck! :)

hey this is kind of embarrassing to say but is it normal for your butt to heat up and sweat? it always does and one day in classs we sat on our desks to play around the world and when i got off my desk it was so completely wet from ym butt and i quickly put a book on top before anyone could notice

Yeah its very normal. It happens to me all the time. When you get up from sitting, make it a habit to slide your butt across the seat before you stand. That'll more or less wipe the sweat up and make it hardly noticeable at all. If you don't even want to take the chance, wear jeans. Sweat isn't going to go through those. It only happens with certain materials. :)

i have been fasting for a week now....i tried eating again but with just a few spoonfulls i felt full, but i at it anyways and that's what made me get sick. so every little thing i try to eat makes me sick and it won't stay in me.....why is this?

You need to get to a hospital as soon as possible. You could die if you don't! :(

Right now your body is basically eating itself in order to survive. You could suffer from permanant damage to many of your body's organs including your brain.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fasting#Physical_effects_of_fasting

GO TO THE HOSPITAL NOW!

is it normal for my handwriting to change depending on what moods i am in? the reason i am asking is because my teacher recently gave me like 5 zeros because she said that hand writing wasn't mine...AND IT WAS ALL THE ASSIGNMENT! the questions were written in cursive and the answers in a loopy print....so what's the deal. i tried to tell her and i swore to her that i didn't cheat....i even tried to show here other work samples but she wouldn't have a look at them. what should i do? and do you think my handwrting is changing because of my mood?

I think that's very normal. My handwriting changes according to how much I care about what I'm writing. When I take notes in class, they're a mess, but when I write things for tests or homework, I make it look nice. When I was younger my handwriting would change all the time because was still developing my style. My guess is that this is what is happening with you.

Your teacher is in a position where she needs to be strict about this sort of thing. You understand that right? To me, it's very understandable that she would question a drastic change in handwriting. However, she is taking this way too far. It is immature for her to refuse to consider that she could be wrong. Giving you five zeros and no chance to defend yourself is a huge overreaction.

Here's what you should do. Set up a meeting between you, your teacher, and your school's principal. Your teacher needs to be put in her place. She needs to respect you and stop treating you like crap. The principal with listen to you and will probably go over any evidence that you have like the work samples you mentioned. If anyone witnessed you doing the work, such as your parents, get them involved too. If they can't make it to school to attend the meeting, have them write a note for you.

During the meeting don't appear angry. Appear concerned. Don't make it seem like it is the teacher's fault. With the principal there you will need to be respectful. The principal should mediate the meeting. When he/she asks you questions answer them simply and neutrally. Instead of saying my teacher won't give me credit, say I did the assignments and I did them well, but I am getting zeros on them. Don't say anything about the handwriting. If you're asked about the handwriting be honest. You don't know why it looks so different. You wrote all of it, so it should look pretty similar. Don't bring up or show them your evidence until they ask for it. It will probably be in the form of "can you prove it?". So, basically, act like you're a witness at a trial. :)

I had a problem with a teacher once before. She lost some of the assignments that I had turned in and was planning on failing me because of it. My parents and I got a meeting set up with this teacher and the principal and everything was sorted out. She was quite embarassed when she actually found one of missing pieces of work during the meeting! She never gave in, but with my parents and the principal there, she couldn't treat me like crap and had to give me credit for the assignments. If I remember correctly, the principal even made her apologize to me.

I wish you the best of luck. You can get this sorted out, just stay calm and patient. :)

ok i just decided to get a perm right! well i decided to wash it out in the shower and after i got out my lower area(u kno the female part) started to burn on one side but i dont know what to do i tried to reclean it with cold water but nothing seems to work! what should i do somebody please tell me this isnt a good feeling! thank you in advance

Didn't they tell you not to take a shower after getting a perm? You will wash all the curls right out! It takes awhile for it to become permanant. Waiting a few days before washing it is best. There are some pretty crazy chemicals in there. The longer you let them soak into your hair, the better. I'd go to the emergency room if I were you. Not that it is necessarily an emergency, but they would be able to give you some cream or something so that you'd have immediate relief from the burning. Good luck. I hope that your perm ends up turning out okay! :)

Ok, so I am 13, and I still havent started my period yet. I know its coming up soon, but I dont know what to do about tampons. I am on the swim team, so I know that I will have to use them. All my friends have started and I know that they have figured out the "tampon deal" But, I just dont know how to insert or what. A bajillion people out there have already used these, and I need advice QUICK before time runs out. I dont want to talk to my mom because that is just a little awkward for me. Anyone got any advice???

You just put it in. If it's uncomfortable, move it around until it feels better. That's basically all there is to it. It's not hard. As said by the previous columnist, there are instructions that come in the box too. Don't worry about this. You will be just fine. If you just can't stand it, check this website out.

http://geocities.com/4birthing/insert.html

Good luck. :)

Thanks for answering my question. My friends say it was my cherry because i didnt bleed very much and it was only for one day. Now, which one do you think it is? thanks for all your help.

In that case, your friends could be right. You may also have been spotting. Some girls have this happen to them before they start their periods. If it only lasted a day and was very light, there's no need to bring it up with your doctor. :)

I am 25 years old, i am currently on birth control (iud) is it possible that i can be pregnant, my last menstrual was 11/03/2006

It's possible, but VERY unlikely. Don't stress over it. You're not that late. If you still haven't gotten your period by the 17th or so, see your doctor just to check to see if anything is wrong. There's a greater chance that its something else affecting your period than you being pregnant. Good luck. Did you get the IUD recently? The IUD itself could somehow be screwing your cycle up. I wish you luck and I hope that everything works out for you. Again, don't worry just yet. :)

when is the right time to try geting pregnant? Is it 10 day after period are what?

You will be most fertile towards the middle of your fertility period (days 12-15). Remember, though, that every woman is different. In order to get a chart that is specially made for your body, see a doctor. This website should help you out with any questions you have for now.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Calendar_method

I'm not sure what your intentions are, but a few precautions so I can sleep at night:

The calender/rhythm method is NOT an effective form of birth control.

Make sure that you can support a child before attempting to have one. :)

Good luck!

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