Member Since: August 7, 2012
Answers: 1038
Last Update: August 2, 2021
Visitors: 29620
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I need some advice from anyone who will respond no smart remarks or judgement please... Me an my wife have been together since we were 16, we're both 20 an we married at 18. I'm in the military an she has always been supportive of my decisions an actions but the other week we had a falling out which has been happening a lot lately. She wants a divorce cause she says she can't do it anymore an that she is no longer in love with me... We have never broken up an she has never left me but I'm not gonna lie I haven't been the best husband an I have a short temper which has always been the cause for all of our arguments. I AM THE CAUSE IF THIS I REALIZE THAT NOW AFTER ALL THIS TIME I'VE BEEN SO NIEVE TO THE SITUATION AN OUR MARRAIGE! She is my life an I love her more than she could possibly imagine I wanna make this work! I told her I'm gonna get help (anger management) an also marraige counseling I wanna do anything that will show her that I can change an be the man that she fell in love with. (link)
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Don't turn all that un-managed anger on yourself. There's no such thing as a perfect partner, there's only one who tries to be. Some possibly quite small event will have been the turning-point in all likelihood. And so comes the mindset that it's got to change, justified by the 'fact' that she no longer loves you. Providing you've never over-stepped the mark, and done things that a decent, self-respecting woman couldn't be expected to tolerate then the situation may well be far from lost. The 'I don't love you' may be an attempt to force a change. She knows it will hurt you. She knows it will make you act. You know the change is needed if things are going to work. Rough spots aren't by any means the end. So how do you feel? In her mood and attitude, do you see a quiet sort of resignantion in her? A woman who has simply had enough and wants out? Or a woman who is as keen to make it work as you are, doesn't know how to and is staking it all on a last 'do or die' gamble? An ultimatum. If it's the second option, pull out all the stops. Show her and tell her you mean business. Whatever it takes. There's a 'feel' in your writing that you do, and will. The first case, apathy and coolness? The cold-blooded and rational decision that the realtionship is over? I'm afraid that's impossible to fight. It's one you can only try and learn to accept, and move on. I hope it's the second. If so...get moving while the blood's still hot in her.
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Me:12/F
Him:14/m
Well my boyfriend fingers me and I wanted to know if its okay since I'm 12 I'm turning 13 in 7 months and it just feels so good and I don't want it to stop but if its not right then I should probably stop him. We haven't had sex yet and I'm still a virgin. I really love him and we've been together for 6 months and he's been fingering me 4 5 months he fingers me every weekend and we see each other everyday at school and I'm at his house most days and my parents don't know about us when I sleep there on the weekends they thing I'm sleeping at my friend(she lives next door to him)please don't judge me
Thanks x (link)
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Well, it's very young. I'd say too young really. But you've been doing it for some time. And on the positive side, you understand what he's doing...and enjoy it. There is no actual risk in what he's doing of course, but I'm sure you realise that it feels good because it's really a form of foreplay, or preparing for sex. And full sex at twelve or just about 13 even, is definitely 'not right'. As long as you can enjoy it as an act in itself, and STOP at the 'feeling good about it' stage, like you have for the past months then, fair enough. But don't for goodness sake let things run away with you and rush into having sex for a good while yet mate. It's likely that hell get a bit more bold, and you'll get a bit more confident and curious over time, and things can happen fast. And full sex at your age would NOT be a good idea. I'm not treating you like a baby. There would be a real risk of mistakes resulting in pregnancy. You'll almost certainly find it traumatic and upsetting rather than cool and fun. And it will raise some tricky emotional issues too that could find it very hard to deal with. As far as the other issue, well you're hardly likely to get your parents approval are you!! They'll naturally want everything ideal and perfect for their children, all their lives. My answer is more about damage-limitation than perfection. So, a bit of fingering...BUT NO MORE THAN THAT even if you think you're ready.
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I honestly consider myself a pretty smart person. I joke around sometimes but once class starts I try my best to do my work and be serious. I get A's and B's on my report card ( its never been lower). So this is my problem: sometimes I have a hard time EXPLAINING things but I think I do good most of the time. Well at gym we were practicing volleyball and we had partners and while we were playing I missed the ball and I was like " sorry, I didn't know u had hit it to me yet" and then she was like " ohhhh ADHD" and I was shocked that she would say something like that so I shutgged my shoulders. I don't do very well with problems ( like cancer or ADHD). I know thins because a lot of people at my have like some issue and I don't know how to react to that. Just like a while ago my friend told me that she was chubbier than a lot of us because she had to take drugs so that her heart won't explode ( or however she said it). I didn't know how to react to that. So can someone help me with like how I know if I have ADHD or give me some possible signs of it. And I do forget thing a lot to. Lol (link)
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I wouldn't think you have this either. It was a throwaway wise-crack, and I doubt your mate even remembered saying it a few minutes later. It touched a nerve because you're a bit phobic about illness. How much of a problem that becomes is questionable. A lot of us have something we don't handle well. And at school-age you feel things quite intensely, maybe more so than at any other time of your life. As long as it's not making your life an absolute misery or stopping you functioning you should learn to 'compensate' (meaning you know the tendency is there and conciously 'step-in' to correct it when you spot it popping up). You know it's there and a bit irrational, so you're half way there already. Uncompensated it's easy to become a hypochondriac and trot off to the doctor every time you get a headache! We all know people like that don't we...?
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hey guys.Its me again.Ive asked a lot of questions on here, and I appreciate every tidbit of advice and hotline number you give me.so thanks again.to get to the point---im a 13/f cutter and have been scince I was 11 almost evey day.Now I think that Im at my altime low-and its bad.Ive got a lot of scars.Truth is, im terrified about quitting.im ean ive just kinda grown up with this, sick as it is. I dont know anything else. ive also had to grow up around drugs and lots of them. My mom is a stoner and abuses pills and my dad is borderline dead and is very sick. my grandma is also suicidal and smokes weed. so yeah.im also bullied in school for being "emo" which is tottaly fake. So slitting my wrists is a way to ecape and overide their substance abuse with amy self abuse.Iv gotten incredably used to cutting all over my body and have became less sensative to pain and hiding ecverything. im on meds now and they make me cut more but im scared about those too. whats life after the scars?how can i live with them? how do I even begin to stop? im not doing well so assume i havent stopped cutting and possibly did within days becuse its that common for me. sorry for the lenght.thatnks for reading.
also i binge eat and am sometimes sucidal.why am i like this. so worthless i mean. (link)
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Hi there. By the sound of it you have too much to deal with alone. And too much to find a working answer to on an advice site. As much as I'd love to somehow give you a smoother and easier ride, I can't. You are aware, only too clearly of what you are doing, why, and you've even acknowledged that they are no solution. The only grain of hope that I can see is that you know this is rock-bottom now. You have to use that knowledge to start turning things around, that means face-to-face help from the right people and real action...not words now. However you feel right now, you are NOT worthless sweetheart. Your whole life, very nearly, is still in front of you. At your age it is not by any means too late. For anything. Keep writing in too. We want you to bring us some good news mate! I won't lie...Some kind words and 'pull yourself together woman' advice aren't going to work here. It's going to be a long and hard road back. But you can do it. And start NOW.
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I've been seeing a new guy for about 3 weeks and we recently decided to make the relationship exclusive. I usually don't move that fast, but I feel a strong connection to him and we seem to be very compatible.
Here's the thing: I cheated in my last relationship. We were apart for the last year of an almost 7 year relationship, and it was during that time that I cheated. I was a mess at the time, had serious commitment issues, had some major life changes coming up that I didn't know how to deal with, was afraid that I wouldn't be able to face these new challenges, and lost myself and my morals completely. None of these justifies what I did, but that was my state of mind. I screwed up, big time. The past year I've stayed single and have been working on myself - gone to counseling, focused on getting the other areas of my life in order. I'm in a better place now; I have tremendous guilt and remorse for what I did and I could never hurt someone so deeply ever again. "Once a cheater, always a cheater" does not apply here - through the past year I have fundamentally changed my behaviors and attitudes; I have taken my experience and learned from it.
I think I need to tell my new boyfriend that I've cheated in the past, and explain what I've explained above in a little more detail. I want this relationship to be grounded in honesty and trust right from the beginning. But when should I tell him? If I do it now, is it too much, too soon? If I do it later, will he be hurt that I didn't tell him sooner? If you disagree with me and think I shouldn't tell him, why do you think so?
Any help would be much appreciated, thanks! (link)
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I think you could justifiably say YOU are rooted in honesty. You've been totally honest with yourself. Acknowledged and fully examined your motives, sought answers, found them and learned a lot about yourself in the process. The act of telling your boyfriend will satisfy your own need to 'get it all off your chest'. And pile it all on HIS shoulders mate! It was your bad judgement, you are the only one who should carry it. And of course, telling him will not in itself do anything at all to prevent you from doing it again. That is a day-by-day process, an on-going series of little victories. Seeing the whole battle as 'already won' is the biggest trap waiting for us after the soul-searching and counselling. So keep the act and the unhappiness it caused to yourself. Move forwards, taking the lessons of the past with you, as you have stated as your intent. No, our behaviour and character are rarely written in stone...but changing them is about more than simply saying 'I've changed.'A good deal of your question regards how the decision will affect him...I'd say that's a very clear sign you're on the right path. Good luck with the new relationship!
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18/F
First off, I know that nobody here is a doctor. I'm asking this question solely for an opinion of someone who may have had or know someone that had what I do right now and to have an idea of what's wrong before I can get to an actual doctor.
I'd also like to say I don't have asthma and I've never really had allergies and I've lived in a home with a smoker for 18 years but I spend most of my time in my room that is smoke free aside from candle burning.
I noticed around last week while our power was out because of Hurricane Sandy that every once in awhile, my throat would sort of close up or get blocked and I'd have some trouble breathing properly. It would sound kinda like I was wheezing when I exhaled. It would last from around 5 to 10 minutes and usually stop when I took my mind off it.
Fast forward a couple days, my power is back and I've been getting a stuffy nose, sometimes it runs and I'm taking basic cold medicine to help it but I haven't had any issues with breathing.
Fast forward a couple more days and the breathing issue is back, I've been waking up around 6-7am every day because I can't breathe in my sleep, it feels like there's a ton of phloem in my throat that builds up while I'm sleeping only too eventually clog my air way. I can't really cough is up. I'm woken up at 6am after taking Niquil and falling asleep at any time. I'm just so frustrated and I have no idea when I can get to a doctor so hopefully someone can understand why I'd look for some possible answers until then.
Thank you for reading.
(link)
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Just a thought...are you getting really vexed/stressed about something or burning the candle both ends a bit, as they say? I had symptoms which sound remarkably similar to yours about 4 years ago. Now I'm no youngster, and I've smoked a long time, so you can guess what I thought I had eh? Spoke to the doctor, of course while they don't exactly help. he couldn't simply blame the cigs. I'd been doing some quite high pressure jobs and keeping some late hours, pretty relentlessly for about a year. I felt pretty fried mentally at the time. Seems it's not unusual for stress to target your throat and breathing, and once you get in that 'itch-scratch' coughing cycle the irritation and inflamation all build up until you're a bit of a wheezing wreck, losing your voice all the time. That was my case anyway, you're younger and don't smoke...so don't take it up! Stress makes you smoke more, because it does 'help'(??) but you're shooting yourself in the foot big-time!!! I recall he gaze me cetrazine hydrochloride. It's really a hayfever and allergy treatment, of which I had neither. But it really calms down your throat muscles and lining of your air/breathing passages. It dries up the phlegm and stuff.About ten minutes after taking one I thought...I can't cough if I want to! In my case it broke the cycle and cracked it within about a week. I remember the name, because I kept what was left of the pack ages, thinking "If I get run-down again and get in the same state, they might come in handy." Thankfully I haven't since, chucked them away when they went out of date! Bit of a long answer, but have a chat with your doctor if it goes on. They've seen everything, I reckon. Best wishes!
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Hi.. I'm 19 years old and I've been sexually active for approximately 6 months now. In this 6 months I took the morning after piLl thrice already. I know it's not a form of contraception but my boyfriend hates having sex with a condom and there's no way I can get the pill or be on the injection without my parents tripping. I was just wondering what's the worst that could happen if I keep using the morning after pill this much... Will it affect me trying to fall pregnant in the future? (link)
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There are two types. Names could be misleading as I live in the UK, and if you're in the US they may be completely different. One is very effective up to 24h after sex, but it falls away quite quickly from 36h onwards. The other remains consistently (but slightly less) effective for up to 120h. At best either could safely/conservatively be assumed to be 90-95 percent effective. There is NO LIMIT to the amount of times either can be used. They do not become less effective the more you take. Neither have any adverse effect on your future fertility. The 'one in any single menstrual-cycle' belief is completely false. Neither 'carry forward' any significant contraceptive properties. Known side-effects are brief, small and often non-existent. They are of the 'slightly tired/sick feeling/headache' kind. Nothing more significant is associated with them. The widespread acceptance of 'after sex birth-control' is unlikely in the near future mainly due to 1. If it fails and you do become pregnant there is an increased risk of complications, most notably ectopic-
pregnancy. Your future fertiliy could be affected in this case, but not by the pill itself. 2. Social issues, ie they encourage casual, unprotected (high risk of sti) sex. 3. The effective percentage is a little less than regular contraceptive methods. Bit of a 'dry' science-geek answer. But that's the dope on m.a.p's. Any assurance?
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Hi,I'm Jazz 14/f.I'm very confused as of right now.
There's this guy named Andrew.He's two years older than me,and also my brother's best friend's.Every since I first met him last year,I've had a crush on him.I would try to go where I knew he would be.
But now,it's different since we all go to the same school.
But my two bestfriend's know I had a crush on him.
But I noticed that he was always finding reasons to talk to me,or help me.But i didn't think anythimng of it,I just thought he was being nice since I was his bestfriend's little sister.
So two months ago,the crush I had on him went away.I just viewed him as a friend.
But this month,he told my bestfriend's he likes me,so they told me.
He writes me letters every other day now,telling me how beautiful and sweet i am.
He even told me he was always trying to talk to me or help me because he liked me since we first met.
He gets nervous when he's around me,and when I hug him,he get's red and blushes.
He says he gets butterflies when I'm around,and my friends keep telling me to go out with him.
But I feel bad,because he's writing me these nice letters telling me how beautiful and perfect I am,but when I write back all I can he=onestly say is he's sweet and nice,because I don't have a crush on him.
I sort of feel like I'm leading him on,which is exactly what I don't want to do.
I want to tell him that he should forget about me,and move on,and he should stop writing me,but I don't know if i should.
Should I?
How do I explain to him that I got over that crush on him earlier this year?
Any help right about now would do me good.
(link)
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Hi there. There's absolutely NO good way to tell a guy who is crazy about you that it's not there for you. However you word it, he'll feel awful. Roles reversed...wouldn't you? But of course, you can't say you're his girlfriend, with all that this does and will entail merely because you don't want to hurt his feelings. And letting him go on believing that you do love him, and you're simply playing a bit 'hard to get' is not sporting at all. You've just got to do the right thing Jazz and tell him, calmly but firmly that the relatioonship he wasn't just isn't going to happen. No hysterics if you can help it. He WILL get over you (no disrespect, it might take him a while, heartbreaker!!). And don't feel guilty. It has to be done.
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I think I might be close to getting my period. I have cramps above my peepee (vagina) and my stomach has been bubbly , especially after I eat. And I am starting to have minor headaches . Is that signs of a period coming. (link)
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Sounds very likely to me. Time to enlist the help of mum (or big sister if you have one). I promise you she (whichever) won't be shocked or surprised. Though I dare say you feel plenty awkward about bringing the subject up, eh? Don't be. I can tell you its nothing to be worried about and so on. But someone actually there in person for you will be much better. So bite the bullet and say to mum/big sis exactly what you've written. "I'm sure I'm about to have my period and its a bit scary...help me out please." She could arrange a little time off school for instance if you need it. And basically loads of stuff I/we can't do online! You'll wonder what all the fuss was about before long. I guarantee it. You're just growing-up. No worries mate!
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Okay, so ive always been this happy , never mean cheerful girl. Sometimes i would even keep stuff to myself & let people step over me.. All of a sudden ive been speaking my mind alot & all of a sudden the friends i usally hang out with are really annoying me. I dont even feel happy anymore. Ive been in a mad/sad kind of weird mood. I've been judgeing people alot. I dont like that. Its like i turned into a whole diffrent person out of the blue. I have so much bottled up in me. I dont feel like i can talk about this to anyone. I dont even feel like i have friends honestly. Sometimes i just feel like crying but i dont because i keep telling myself that theres no reason to cry. What should i do not to feel this way? ): btw im 16 (link)
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Hi. Loads of great advice there. None of what you're going through is very unusual. But what makes YOU a little bit special is that you've recognised the character change/mood swings, realised they're not really how you want to be and are seeking solutions. Sit it out mate, it should start to resolve itself. Many guys and girls, around your age go into a complete denial state over this and kick against the whole world, never acknowledging it's actually them, going through this sort of anti-social and rebellious phase. Well done, it's a tough time in many ways. But your self-knowledge and understanding should get you through in fine style.
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I'm a girl and I like this other girl at my school. She's a senior and I'm a sophomore. 15(almost 16) to be exact. She's 18. I'm not sure if she's too old for me because I've heard that liking her is a lost cause. (link)
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Quite apart from the ethics, I'd say based on observation and experience if you're planning on dating an 18yo at nearly 16 you're going to have to really go some to keep her interested! Still, fortune favours the brave they say...so you can give it a go. At 16, most girls of 18 would have eaten me alive. If you can handle the answer, be it yes or no...ask her. You only live once. Good luck old chap!!
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Okay so im 15 and i went over to my boyfriend's house (of about 5 months) and we started making out and his parents werent home and so he took my shirt off which is normal, and then he took my bra off, also normal (for us) and then he unzipped his pants and i sucked his dick and then he fingered me then he took his shirt off and things got realy heated and long story short we ended up having sex and im not sure how i feel about. I mean he seemed to enjoy it, but it hurt me. He's a good guy and we are still together (2 weeks later) i haven't seen him yet, but we've been texting and he wants to "see me" meaning sleep with me again this weekend and i think i want to, i just don't know if i should. Did i make a mistake??
P.S. he is 16 and was also a virgin before this (link)
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So many girls lose their virginity in precisely the way you described, things got heated and we did it. Far fewer plan it, like "I'll lose my virginity at nine pm on Wednesday the 8th..." I don't think you've made a big mistake, as long as you took the necessary precautions, as already mentioned. It was with a partner of five months. 'I lost my virginity, I was drunk at a party with a guy and I don't know who he is, and we didn't use a condom'. Now that would be a major mistake mate! And 'he enjoyed it but it hurt me.' is so often the case too. It nearly always does hurt at least a bit for a girl first time. Even if it's only because she'll be quite nervous and tense, making things even tighter than they need to be, shall we say?? I'm not getting even an implied suggestion that you found the experience horrible, and you hated it. So I'd say your first-time experience was actually a very good one on the whole. The real question seems to be only one of 'Should I write it off as a mistake and go back to non-penetrative sex with him, or shall I dive straight into a full sexual relationship?' I'd say, make no text-promises and see how you feel next time you're actually together. You've taken quite a big step if you think about it, and a bit of uncertainty (in your own mind) as to whether it was the right one is only to be expected. If you're feeling a bit guilty about it, try to get over that. I mean, hate can spur us into action. Fear can protect us from dangers. Envy can inspire us to greater efforts. Conscience can make us choose the greater good. There's usually a positive. Guilt, after the event, in my experience never achieves anything, apart from giving us hang-ups!
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This feels weird but, I'm a senior in high school, male/17. And lately I've been having this thing for the younger girls at school, like 14 & 15. There's one I know and I like her, the ones I know seem a lot nicer than some of the senior girls I know. My senior class is kind of small, and most of us know eachother. The girl I like, (we're not that close) when I'm with her I feel like the people around me are looking at me like I'm crazy. This junior kid I know told me to stop trying to go out with freshmen. Our age gap is under 3 years to be exact. My close friends, like 3 of them, don't see anything wrong with it. And why is it that when the guy is younger, people don't say anything. My friend was once with an older senior girl who had to do a 5th year. And I had a friend who was like 15 and with a college girl. Idk. Should I just avoid it? Is it really that bad? I'm starting to like her, what can I do. I don't want people I know thinking that I'm weird/creepy. (link)
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When I was your age it was common for girls to 'look at' guys 2 to 3 years older than themselves as potential boyfriends and I believe it's still usual. Mainly because girls (in the age group we're looking at) tend to find boys their own age, well...just that. Little boys! Girls really do mature sooner in outlook, not just physically. I'd say, now that anyone who says you're creepy or wierd is basically misguided and/or forgetting how things are at your age. So no, you're not weird. But keep in mind there's still a lot of 'girl' in girls of 14/15/16, however grown-up they feel they are. Naturally, you'll find her attractive, and in a physical way. But using your age-advantage to pressure or hurry her into ANYTHING she's not happy about is REALLY bad form. I'll be quite clear, if that's your only motive here, you ARE creepy and weird!! Only YOU know the answer to that one. Nuff said??
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My boyfriend keeps telling me that he is masturbating and this bothers me. We are having a long distance relationship and its a 2 year relationship. We've met several times over the summer vacations but when he tells me he is masturbating I get saddened and angry. He knows that I get mad but he doesn't do anything. He also watches porn which makes me sad and angry. He knows how I feel but yet he continues. (link)
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Ask women and men what they think about porn and the answers will be largely polarised, with a few exceptions. I'm not surprised that you don't like it, and even more so the thought of your boyfriend watching and masturbating! Few would actually be delighted about it. Now try not to think of it as a slur on you, your desirability as a woman, or your looks. Guys are strongly visually-centred. We like sexy pictures. Ok, there are the 'raincoaters' but most don't want porn in preference to a partner. Most wouldn't actually want 'their girlfriend' performing the acts they like watching either. Now if he's otherwise a good guy, you like him and he likes you I'd be tempted to let him have his 'boys toys'. Perhaps you could allow yourself a little giggle about him, keeping it to yourself naturally! Take it from a bloke, most of us are big kids when it comes to porno shots and flicks, few of us mean much harm by it mate. And it's not usually a full-time obsession. Also...well, with a long-distance relationship...it'll keep him busy and happy...and keep his mind of 'real girls' eh??
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So I'm in seventh grade. I found out recently that a lot of kids in my grade aren't virgins.. And I'm jusrt sickened by this. It's been in my mind all day and I can't get it off my mind. How do I make this leave my mind? I'm just not wanting to go to that school anymore, but my friends are there... (link)
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Hi. You're probably feeling sick because you've had a bit of a shock and it will pass. The fact that friends of your own age are doing something you choose not to simply can't go on shocking you permanently, especially once you just accept it as a fact. Truth is, most are not being pressured or forced into it, and don't think they're doing something 'disgusting'. Age of consent laws are virtually impossible to actually enforce when a couple of horny, hormonal and curious teens get together! Ok, it's not for you. You want to wait. There will be plenty of girls who feel the same too. Try to get along with the ones who have a different point of view. They can still be your friends...the fact that they have decided to have sexual relationships is their choice, and it doesn't make them freaks or alien! And I'll reinforce an answer you have already. It's the educational side of school life that's the main thing. Having sex, or not having sex at thirteen is not going to be in the picture when the boss is looking at your cv with that tasty job up for grabs my friend!
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12/F well I have a 18 year old boyfriend and he wanted to have sex and I'm to scared that if I say no he won't love me anyway now he's always expecting me to have sex with him and when I don't want to he asks me if I don't love him anymore and he has naked pictures of me and I don't know how he got them what must I do(my mom doesn't know about our relationship) (link)
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Hi. At eighteen he'll have all the usual male urges and desires going full-bore, and he'll certainly pull the 'you would if you really loved me' line to pressure you into sex. You are obviously mature-looking enough to turn him on. And you feel mature enough to be tempted, or there would be no question posted by you. And, ok. If he uses a condom properly there's little real chance of pregnancy resulting. But listen sweetheart, at twelve you'll take NOTHING GOOD OR POSITIVE away from the experience. Just admit the timing is all wrong, and tell him sex isn't an option just yet...full stop. You WILL regret the alternative. Be lucky!
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For starters, i have never been able to reach orgasm before by masturbating (im a virgin still) its always been a frustration because id feel like i was close for so long and its like it was just impossible to finish. So id always give up. Anyways, i was masturbating the other night and I felt really close like I had before but this time my legs went completely stiff and felt they were both asleep or something because they tingled. I honestly felt like I was possessed for a minute or something because I could not move my legs lol (of course while this was happening I wasn't stopping masturbating) and I kept going and the pleasure did feel greater than it had before but there was no big intense pleasure wave or whatever they say an orgasm is like. I didn't feel super relaxed or anything after but needless to say I stopped (I was tired considering id been like an hour) so I'm not sure if I finished, if that was even an orgasm, and when I went pee and wiped there was a lot of white cum, usually theres just a little bit and the rest is clear..
18/F (link)
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Hi there! Well you sound as if you're just about realising all your orgasmic potential to me! The physical side of it does involve all those muscles from the waist down gradually thightening and tensing up, just like you're experiencing. At the absolute peak they'll release, usually in a little (or pretty big!) series of 'spasms' if you know what I mean (like a squeeze, then release, then squeeze again...and so on). That's the point when you need to really 'let-go' mentally and enjoy those 'waves of pleasure' you (quite rightly) want to feel. You're right to keep going when you 'stiffen-up'. Right as the muscles about to 'do their thing' as it were, you should feel an urge to really push down hard with your pelvic muscles. It's a bit difficult to say delicately, but a lot of women say they feel as though they're going to well...have a pee as this part is happening, but you won't...so keep going! Also, some women like to get a bit vocal at that point (the brain is maybe the biggest 'sex organ' of them all), and affirming the fact that you're fully intending to finish-off big-time by saying "I'm comning!" is a great idea you could try. Just like in life in general really, saying 'God I'm gonna screw-up' is a bad idea, making you much more likely to screw-up! It's your orgasm though. Not all women thrash about and yell the house down...it's not compulsory mate! I'm absolutely certain you'll be enjoying the full-on experience you're looking for very soon. And just think...when you do find Mr Right you'll be so clued-in and savvy about yourself you'll be able to share it all with him. Lucky bloke!! Have fun.
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So I have this boyfriend and we've been going out 30 days but we didn't talk for like three days but I tryed to make it work I went on fb and messaged him no reply tryed to talk to him face to face he just siad hi and I tryed Ossining notes during class but nothing back so I brook up with him he went on fb and messaged me saying that I'm a bitch and that he never going to talk to me agian then he siad he still loves me and wanted me back
So I went back with him because he siad hell make it work but it's been a whole week and nothing we only talk on fb and we've been going out for 30 days remember and we haven't kissed or hugged or even held hands
(btw I'm thirteen years old and plz dont say I'm to young I really need help) (link)
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You sound rather upset, but I can't quite work out what's going on?? I reckon you've definitely got your wires crossed badly. I'd say, draw a line under the last 30 days or so and start fresh with him. If he's as difficult as he sounds again, forget it. You might be ready for a proper boyfriend with hugs and handholding, but he might not be. Girls do tend to mature earlier. Good luck!
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I am from Canada. English is my first language.
What do you think about the argument that religion is a blight on humanity?
Consider that there are good people, who mean no harm to others whatsoever, who think those who believe in scripture have caused unnecessary suffering to others who don't subscribe one man's interpretation of the bible...who want to live without other people without scorn...?
Yet, you people, who profess to follow a movement of love, spew so much hate at people who don't believe in vampires, leprechauns, fairies, and gods (which are all the same thing....man-made attempts at scaring humans into obeying)???
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Nietzsche identified that with his increasing knowledge, man had effectively 'killed god' as there was strictly no need for a god if we could explain things scientifically. But he also observed that something in our nature feels the need for a god. A planner, some greater power watching us and guiding our destiny, rewarding good and punishing bad etc. And while we'd killed god, we had yet to come up with anything to replace god, or powerful enough to replace even the IDEA of a god. So he professed that to make our godless world work, man must become 'super-man' (no cartoon jokes please!). He must become more than himself. Accept responsibilty for his own actions, do right because it is right and will benefit mankind and not because he fears the punishment of a god if he doesn't. (This has often been misunderstood, badly in Nazi Germany in the 30's who took him to mean a 'master race' should rise and take charge....Nietzsche's 'uber-mensch' really meant all men, his super-man had no race but the human race...thought I should clear that up...I'm not a Nazi!) Sadly, Nietzshe's super-man has yet to really appear, but often in events of the 20th and 21st century one can catch a whiff of him, which gives us (me, anyway!) hope that the old German genius might ultimately be right! In the meantime, as you point out much suffering and death and unhappiness is the direct result of religious beliefs. But we must recognise that a great deal of good has been done in its name too.So would the world be 'a better place' without it? Maybe it would be pretty much what we've got already. Global conflicts often march under the flag of religion, but scratch the surface and you'll see it is a facade. Land and its resources, and control of economics are the the true drivers, so we must blame the baser instincts of human nature, not religion. Now, all world religions have one shining prize that no 'man-made' policy can replace. Eternal life, often in a perfect 'paradise'. If you need that to make your mortal life worth living, religion is the only option. Interesting to think though...if a minority ruling-class wished to keep the numerically much greater 'proliteriat' under control, the promise "Play nicely boys and girls, keep to the rules and when you die you'll be greater than your masters." would be a great way of achieving your ends, would it not? Is this the basis of all belief-systems at their core?? Isn't even democracy (you're in control, you can vote us out if you want!) a version of it? However, if by some chance the whole world agreed simultaneosuly to renounce supernatural beliefs at midnight tonight the tension between, for example western civilisation and Islamic nations would surely continue unchanged. Religious fervour would simply be replaced by nationalistic fervour. And I feel sure that fanatical leaders would still be able to recruit suicide-bombers from amongst their ranks just the same. Of course, a religious man could argue, quite justifiably that what I have is no more or less a belief-system than theirs. Mine is based on observation and evidence, theirs on faith (which by definition must be able to exist in the complete abscence of all proof, or it would not be faith). And that is the only difference. So is religious belief a symptom of, or the cause of human nature. I tend to think the first alternative. Personally I find it sad that in western culture the dwindling power of the churh has seen a startling resurgence of belief in what I can only call mysticism, however seriously its devotees take their particular chosen brand. All those years of human advancement and enlightenment, and we yearn for....witchcraft!! Maybe a great many do 'need something else' to throw life into perspective, even if it's a distorted perspective. I'm afraid super-man might be a long time coming, but wouldn't you like to see him?? I would, for sure! Blaming 'the devil' for evil is easy. Anonymous. We're shooting at a straw-man. Super-man will be accountable for his evil acts. He will have to justify them. To himself. To his fellow man. Prove they have a greater benefit for the whole race. If he can't, he MUST find another way. Maybe this could truly build a 'better world' where all religions have failed. What do you think?
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It's not the way I dress or I act. I'm 5'5" .I'm 19 and people always ask me if I'm 16 or 14. People say it's because I have huge innocent 'doe eyes' and someone said that I look like a baby porcelain doll. I think they were trying to compliment me, but I think it makes me look five. Even when I dress up people tell me I look younger. Older people tell me I look "adorable", its annoying, that's something you tell a 5 year old. I wear my hair down all the time either straight or curly. I only dress up or wear make up for special occasions and I really don't care for make up and I really don't like heels they hurt my feet.. I need help because I really don't want to look like a little kid. (link)
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Can explain the reaction. 1.Babies need huge amounts of attention. 2. Humans use eye-contact to read each others emotions in a way other animals do not (we're the only ones with the 'whites' in our eyes to emphasise our direction of focus etc if you notice). We're wired to feel protective, caring and emotional when we see big eyes, we associate them with a needy, vulnerable baby/child. That's the science bit. Now at nineteen you're scarcely likely to be mistaken for a child much longer...and big sexy eyes in an adult woman look FANTASTIC. Since you can't hide them, it might be good to visit a pro and get some tips on eye-make up. Ask about a quick, not too involved and subtle effect that will really draw attention to them and cause people to focus on them. What you've got basically isn't a weakness, it's a major strength! Look ahead...I'm yet to hear a woman of 30 say 'God...I wish I looked older!' And adorable means just that, something that's there to be adored...it's not reserved for childern, so don't feel too annoyed.
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