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Its like i dont even know myself
Okay, so ive always been this happy , never mean cheerful girl. Sometimes i would even keep stuff to myself & let people step over me.. All of a sudden ive been speaking my mind alot & all of a sudden the friends i usally hang out with are really annoying me. I dont even feel happy anymore. Ive been in a mad/sad kind of weird mood. I've been judgeing people alot. I dont like that. Its like i turned into a whole diffrent person out of the blue. I have so much bottled up in me. I dont feel like i can talk about this to anyone. I dont even feel like i have friends honestly. Sometimes i just feel like crying but i dont because i keep telling myself that theres no reason to cry. What should i do not to feel this way? ): btw im 16
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You're 16 years old. Which means you're a teenager. Teenagers go through SO much more than anyone would understand. Sometimes you'll have moments where you just aren't feeling your best. But I don't think you should be worrying about all of these changes TOO much. Because what's happening is you're growing up. So a lot of things change. While, one day you may have made fun of people and got into a lot of trouble, the next day you change. Like taste buds. Taste buds are ALWAYS changing. Even when you're old. You will change until the day you die. I think you should get a journal and start writing in it so that you can get all the feelings you have bottled up out. Believe me it helps. As long as you're writing until the bottled up feeling goes away. But I do think you should look at the not feeling happy. Because that's a sign of depression, and may not JUST be being a teenager. So you should get that checked out by a doctor, yes a doctor. You may have to start taking a medication. Unfortunately, it's hard to find out the cause of depression. It could be anything. So here's the list of things you need to do.
: Get a journal, write in it EVERY DAY (Or every time you need to)
: Go see a doctor about your depression.
: Find some positive activies to keep yourself busy.
: Eat healthy food. And Exercise AT LEAST 30 minutes a day. Whether it's walking or swimming or whatever. Exercise is good for your brain and your heart.
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Congratulations!
You are smart enough to actually notice yourself maturing. And yes. It kind of sucks sometimes.
But others have said: This is really very normal. Most people just don't notice it. They make excuses like "My friends turned into jerks!" or "I'm PMSing." instead of actually noticing that what they want, and how they think about their life, is changing.
So you can't make the feelings stop all together, and in the end, you probably wouldn't want to. These feelings are part of learning who you are and what you want. It is confusing, by definition. It takes times to sort out. It can suck when you are in the middle of it. But if you take the time and let yourself feel what you feel, and learn to manage and respond to those feelings, you'll end up far happier and healthier on the other side of it all.
And you can manage and respond to the negative aspects of this. You can take care of yourself in whatever ways you find help you feel balanced and calm. Maybe that exercise, maybe it's video games or books, maybe it's art. Whatever it is that helps you feel at peace with you. Make sure to make time for that kind of self-care.
You can learn to take a deep breath and show people respect even when you are not in the mood. This is a life skill everybody learns. You can find new ways to connect with people (and maybe new interests or clubs to help you find these new people).
I know I'm not providing you with any solid answers to your problem here - that's because there really aren't any. As much as it's true that everyone goes through this, everyone's answers to managing it are different. You'll figure it out. It'll suck sometimes, but you will figure it out.
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Hi. Loads of great advice there. None of what you're going through is very unusual. But what makes YOU a little bit special is that you've recognised the character change/mood swings, realised they're not really how you want to be and are seeking solutions. Sit it out mate, it should start to resolve itself. Many guys and girls, around your age go into a complete denial state over this and kick against the whole world, never acknowledging it's actually them, going through this sort of anti-social and rebellious phase. Well done, it's a tough time in many ways. But your self-knowledge and understanding should get you through in fine style.
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As you may be aware none of us are doctors so we cannot make a diagnoses.The advise we give is based on experience. As someone who is old enough to be your grandfather the advise I am offering is based on raising my on family.
There are two possibilities at work here. The first is the ever changing hormones of puberty and how they effect you as they enter your life. At times these hormones disrupt your life to the point that as you describe you don't know who you are. This is where the second possibility comes in. When I was your age our parents called it a phase we were going through, something we would grow out of. Today doctors recognize it for what it is and put a name to it. They call it teenage depression.
Teenage depression is brought on by a number of factors the two most common are hormones and stress. Hormones are a given and stress? Lets face facts here, today's teenager has more stress placed on them then any teenager in the past. Today's teenager has the same stresses as their predecessors such as making their way into the adult world, getting good grades in school, new social circles and preparing for college. Then they have they added problems or stress of what is expected of today's teenager. Today's teenager is expected to be more self sufficient, more worldly, has more sexual pressure placed on them, both self imposed and externally imposed. That is just the short list.
Stress is the major factor in depression. Stress causes pain, real and emotional, which causes more depression. This is called the cycle of depression. You need to break the cycle by finding out what the stressors are. This takes the help of a professional therapist and possibly some medication.
To find out if you are suffering for depression you visit your family doctor and ask to tested or screened as it is called for depression. It is a simple test where you answer a number of questions. Based on your answers the doctor can decide if you fit the diagnoses for depression. If so the doctor will recommend what you need to do to overcome this.
Back in the day as we old folks now say most of us did out grow out of this phase. But why suffer as you are when help is available and actually quite simple and painless.
You are old enough by Federal Law to see a doctor without parental knowledge or permission for something of this nature. So if you do not wish to discuss this with your parents you do not have too.
If you do not want mom and dad to know at this time and you can get yourself to your doctor without mom or dads assistance; I suggest you do so. Once the doctor makes a diagnoses you can discus with the doctor how to proceed. The doctor can if you want help explain to your parents what is going on and what help you may need.
In your case I can assure you there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You must decide if you want to go to the tunnel or wait for the tunnel to come to you.
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Aww don't worry. You are 16 you are going through a lot of changes your mind and your view on life is changing. And hormones can change the way you look at things. Just let some time go by and see if anything changes for the better. If not, maybe you should talk to a counselor or someone u trust. Think more positive about life. And all the good things u have going for you.
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