|
Did i make a mistake by having sex with my boyfriend?
Okay so im 15 and i went over to my boyfriend's house (of about 5 months) and we started making out and his parents werent home and so he took my shirt off which is normal, and then he took my bra off, also normal (for us) and then he unzipped his pants and i sucked his dick and then he fingered me then he took his shirt off and things got realy heated and long story short we ended up having sex and im not sure how i feel about. I mean he seemed to enjoy it, but it hurt me. He's a good guy and we are still together (2 weeks later) i haven't seen him yet, but we've been texting and he wants to "see me" meaning sleep with me again this weekend and i think i want to, i just don't know if i should. Did i make a mistake??
P.S. he is 16 and was also a virgin before this
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
...it's been TWO WEEKS and you haven't seen him since you had sex. Walk away. That's all I have to say. Also, I don't know him, but I don't believe that he's a virgin. For all I know he is, but from what you wrote, I doubt that he is. Look long story short, you lost your virginity the ONE THING you can't get back. And he hasn't tried to just hang out with you, or anything, he's only interested in one thing. You are young, so you should be more concerned about yourself. If you can't respect yourself, then how do you expect anyone else to respect you? I say this, because you are only concerned with him. You should be concerned with yourself more than him! Confidence, and respect for yourself is VERY important if you want to be in a relationship. There are going to be other things you're gonna be EVEN MORE worried about if you continue the activities you are. Like babies. Sex is for making babies, not to make your boyfriend feel god. It hurt because you aren't grown yet. It's not supposed to hurt. It hurt because you're only 15, and your body wasn't ready. Just slow down, and be concerned with yourself. Really, I think you should try it.
]
Did you make a mistake in having sex with your boyfriend? If I look at this question as the adult I am. Then the answer has to be yes as you and your boyfriend are to young and to immature to be having sex. Keep reading it gets better.
I am also a realist and very liberal when it comes to a question such as yours. What is done is done and cannot be undone. Whether to have sex with him again is really up to you. Again as an adult I have to advise not do.
Should you decide you want to have sex with him you should not do so again until you have taken the proper precautions.
By a Federal Law none as HIPPA (you can look it up on the web) you are at 15 old enough to see a doctor without parental permission for anything related to your reproductive system. This includes asking for birth control options. The doctor by law has to dispense whatever is right for you and cannot inform your parents that you are seeing him/her or being treated by the doctor without your written consent. When it comes to your reproductive health you have total medical confidentiality.
Congress passed this law by a wide bipartisan margin specifically to protect young people, such as yourself, to allow them to get medical help for whatever may be bothering them concerning their reproductive health. This could range from simple questions to being checked for STDS. You can visit your family doctor or any of the Women's free clinics. This law also covers boys.
Birth control pills used correctly are about 99% effective in preventing pregnancy. A woman on birth control with a partner using a condom comes as close to 100% effective against preventing pregnancy as you can get, though there is still a small chance of becoming pregnant.
This is the biggest problem we adults worry about when it comes to teenage sex. Pregnancy and STD/AIDS are the two biggest fears we have for our children when it comes to teenage and premarital sex.
As for your first experience hurting. I should tell sex will always hurt, but it doesn't. The pain will diminish and go away as your vagina gets use to being penetrated and expanding to accommodate a penis.
To conclude: Did you make a mistake? As an adult I have to say yes you are to young to be having sex and I recommend not doing so again until your older. The fact of the matter is you have to decide the answer to this question, not me not your parents.
If you decide to continue having sex do not do so again until you have taken the proper precautions. Precautions you have the legal right to take.
]
So many girls lose their virginity in precisely the way you described, things got heated and we did it. Far fewer plan it, like "I'll lose my virginity at nine pm on Wednesday the 8th..." I don't think you've made a big mistake, as long as you took the necessary precautions, as already mentioned. It was with a partner of five months. 'I lost my virginity, I was drunk at a party with a guy and I don't know who he is, and we didn't use a condom'. Now that would be a major mistake mate! And 'he enjoyed it but it hurt me.' is so often the case too. It nearly always does hurt at least a bit for a girl first time. Even if it's only because she'll be quite nervous and tense, making things even tighter than they need to be, shall we say?? I'm not getting even an implied suggestion that you found the experience horrible, and you hated it. So I'd say your first-time experience was actually a very good one on the whole. The real question seems to be only one of 'Should I write it off as a mistake and go back to non-penetrative sex with him, or shall I dive straight into a full sexual relationship?' I'd say, make no text-promises and see how you feel next time you're actually together. You've taken quite a big step if you think about it, and a bit of uncertainty (in your own mind) as to whether it was the right one is only to be expected. If you're feeling a bit guilty about it, try to get over that. I mean, hate can spur us into action. Fear can protect us from dangers. Envy can inspire us to greater efforts. Conscience can make us choose the greater good. There's usually a positive. Guilt, after the event, in my experience never achieves anything, apart from giving us hang-ups!
]
Only you can know if you made a mistake by having sex with him. If you care about him and you both enjoyed yourselves and nobody's moral boundaries were crossed, then no harm done in my eyes.
However, the fact that this was unplanned leads me to think that protection may have been overlooked. If you are going to be sexually active, you need to make sure that you're using multiple methods of protection. Condoms will help prevent sexually transmitted disease and a chemical birth control like the pill, shot or ring will help prevent pregnancy. You don't want to take any huge risks at this point in your life.
If you're questioning having had sex with him, be honest with him. Talk things out and see how he feels about the situation. If you don't feel that you two are on the same level, hold off on having sex again until you're fully ready.
]
More Questions: |