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Boyfriend Issues: He watches porn which makes me sad and angry.
My boyfriend keeps telling me that he is masturbating and this bothers me. We are having a long distance relationship and its a 2 year relationship. We've met several times over the summer vacations but when he tells me he is masturbating I get saddened and angry. He knows that I get mad but he doesn't do anything. He also watches porn which makes me sad and angry. He knows how I feel but yet he continues.
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break up with him ! we girls have our rights to tell them what annoys us and if they don't listen we wont care and we should just leave they had a chance and if they are going to be annoying let them be sorry
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I don't think it's the fact he's masturbating that is the issue. It really shouldn't bother you as it's a normal activity that males and females of all ages engage it. Pretty universal with your age group. Stats say 90% of males do it and 77% of females.
Are you upset that he does it because you have been taught negatively about it? It's a good thing he's doing this to release tension and does not mean he loves you less. It's better he handles sexual tension this way than cheating with someone else because you can't be with him in person.
As far as porn goes it's common with either sex and just a fantasy thing with guys. He's not wanting those girls at all and you shouldn't be jealous. Again, it's just a way to let out that level of tension.
Likely, he thinks it's fine (which it is) and that you probably do the same exact thing yourself when he's gone for extended periods. I would relax and see it for what it is as well as work at accepting this as normal behavior for you both and that it bears no weight on the status of your relationship.
It shouldn't make you angry or sad as it's common. In all honesty everybody has and or will do this at some time in life. It's completely healthy and normal of him or you to engage or not in it. To ask him to stop really isn't fair when it's something people in relationships that are committed or even married do.
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You shouldn't be bothered by your bf jerking it. Masturbation is something guys do a lot and denying it to them is... I don't even have a word for it. I'm female, I'm not a guy trying to vouch for other guys, it's just a thing they do.
The fact that you have a long distance relationship makes the necessity for masturbation even more crucial. You may not realize it, but if he didn't masturbate and watch porn, he would probably be cheating on you. People can't live without sexual release, most of us, anyway.
Why does it bother you? Yes, I understand that porn is naked women doing god knows what and that they can make people feel less than good about themselves. I know lots of women that dislike their men watching porn and masturbating, but men aren't going to stop; I wouldn't stop, either.
Being in a relationship doesn't resign people to never pleasure themselves again. It's not how things work. I don't know why he's TELLING you about his masturbation habits, though. That's the part I find strange. I wouldn't want to know anyone's masturbation habits.
If it's the knowing that bothers you, you should tell him to stop telling you... but you can't actually expect him to stop. It's unrealistic and asking him to do something that he just can't do...
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i know what you mean. i wouldnt like the thought of my boyfriend watching porn either. yet he is a guy and i guess he just needs his sexual satisfaction. maybe you could try asking him not to tell you when he's masturbating so you dont know all the timeand dont have to think about it so much
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You guys are far apart. He's lonely, and horny. He could be doing worse.
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If you're in a two year long distance relationship, be glad that all he's doing is masturbating. Many people in long distance relationships are worried about their partner's fidelity! If he's limiting his urges to himself, he's doing really well.
Honestly, I don't think it's possible (or healthy, for that matter) for a guy not to masturbate. It keeps things in working order and it keeps him from seeking release in other ways.
As for the porn, it's a masturbatory aid and nothing more. Most guys I know aren't particularly interested in porn, and are often even grossed out by it! It's just that their bodies respond to that sort of imagery.
The thing with your situation is that you're trying to control your boyfriend's behaviour. There are times when it's good to set firm boundaries, but this isn't one of them. It's his body and he makes his choices about what he does to/with it. It wouldn't be acceptable for him to force you onto a diet because it grosses him out when his girlfriend weighs more than 90 lbs, right? So telling him he can't touch certain parts of himself without you getting angry and sad is unhealthy control.
You can't force someone else to change their behaviour but you can change yours. You say he doesn't stop when he sees how angry and sad you are: have you thought about how he feels about the situation? He probably feels frustrated that you're not considering his wants and needs. So instead of getting upset with him, try to think about why he's making the decision he is and accept that there are far worse things he could be doing. Relationships are all about compromise: instead of your current rigid demand that he stop masturbating entirely, try being a little more flexible and working out some softer boundaries that both of you can be comfortable with.
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Ask women and men what they think about porn and the answers will be largely polarised, with a few exceptions. I'm not surprised that you don't like it, and even more so the thought of your boyfriend watching and masturbating! Few would actually be delighted about it. Now try not to think of it as a slur on you, your desirability as a woman, or your looks. Guys are strongly visually-centred. We like sexy pictures. Ok, there are the 'raincoaters' but most don't want porn in preference to a partner. Most wouldn't actually want 'their girlfriend' performing the acts they like watching either. Now if he's otherwise a good guy, you like him and he likes you I'd be tempted to let him have his 'boys toys'. Perhaps you could allow yourself a little giggle about him, keeping it to yourself naturally! Take it from a bloke, most of us are big kids when it comes to porno shots and flicks, few of us mean much harm by it mate. And it's not usually a full-time obsession. Also...well, with a long-distance relationship...it'll keep him busy and happy...and keep his mind of 'real girls' eh??
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