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Do I have a right to be mad?
So I was bored one day and I know this is immature and lying but me and my friend made up this screen name and instant messaged my boyfriend. Who is 5 years older, (20,25). He is very opened to talk to anyone so I brought me up. I was completely devastated and crushed when I read the things he had to say about me. He said that I was obsessed with him and liked him a lot more than he liked me. He wasnt sure about us because we had nothing in common when he always tells me when we talk he loves how we don't because we still work. He said that I am constantly looking to talk and he hates it. When he breaks up with me i am going to be devastated and he doesn't know how to do it. I told him a lot of personal stuff thats happened and he mocked me about it. He said he's embarrassed of me because I'm immature when he eggs me on to do things like that. I can't even explain how hurt and stupid I feel. I love him so much though and our relationship is serious. If i've ever wanted to break up with him it would be right now. I just don't know how to tell him over what. He would be really mad if he knew the truth. Should I even be mad about this? Ugh I'm so confused! any opinions or advice would be great!
Thanks in advance (:
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You're entitled to be mad... but this little fishing expedition you did is going to tilt the scales a little bit... because really you shouldn't be snooping on your man like that...
That aside though... he sounds like a real jerk. If that's how he feels, you should just own up to being a snoop and tell him that if that's how he feels he can F-ck off. You don't need that static in your life.
Yeah, maybe he'll be mad you snooped... so what? Not your problem anymore.
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Heyy ! (:
well of course you have the right to be mad ..its not nice of him to be saying that about you i think youu should tell him about the fake screen name ... if he tells youu why youu lied to him ....soo did he , he lied to youu by not telling you how he felt about youu... youu just wanted to know what he would say about youu youu didnt do some thing that mean .. he doesnnt have the right to be mad at youu ...i dont think youu should trust him cuz if he said that to someone who he doesnt know well (and is fake) then he will also share all your other secrets !
well good luck doll !
hope i helped ;inbox me if youu need anything else !
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well all i can tell u is wat stuff does he egg u about?
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This is a very tricky one. Yes, you have a right to be upset that your boyfriend was saying all of these things. The way you went about getting the information was sneaky and underhanded, though, so don't be surprised if he turns the situation around on you.
It sucks that your boyfriend went off on you while talking to a stranger. It really, really does. The thing is, he was venting to someone who he thought had no connection to you whatsoever. That can be a safe zone at times, a place where you can say whatever crosses your mind without censoring yourself the way you have to when talking to a friend or relative. So what he was saying may not be what he necessarily feels... it might have been a harsher version that he hadn't fully thought out.
This seems to me like a prime opportunity for dialogue between you two. Open with an apology for leading him on like that and tell him that you want to take some time to discuss the conversation. Go over the major points and hear him out. Sometimes we need to change certain behaviours that aggravate our partners to keep a relationship going, and this is a good starting point.
I really don't think it's fair to him to break up with him without giving him a chance to explain himself. I also don't think it's fair to you to have to pretend you know nothing about this. Owning up to your mistake would be a big sign of maturity. His trust may be broken, but you're both at fault here.
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Yes, of course you have a right to be mad. Even though you did something wrong, so did he- what kind of jerk goes telling a random stranger all their relationship problems and badmouthing their girlfriend?
I wouldn't waste any more time on him. You don't even need to tell him why, just tell him it's over. He's not the last guy you'll ever be in love with, and he isn't worth it, since apparently he's going to dump you anyway.
-Krista, 21/f
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