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Nurse, Equine Business OwnerAge:
48Member Since:
January 15, 2006Answers:
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about
I am 48 years old (yes that's old compared to some of you).
I have worked in nursing and/or healthcare management positions for 24 years. Primarily OB, Neonatal, Mental Health, Occupational Health and Geriatrics. In Jan 2008 I started my own business to board horses and do equine/human education. I am also a certified dog trainer.
I've been around the block so to speak and seem to be always helping others. I've been told that the reason people seek me out for advice is that I am approachable and caring. But on the same token even though I consider the person's feelings. I tell it like I see it. I've dealt with people in trouble with the law, dysfunctional families such as those with abuse & marriage problems. Not to mention problems with employees and employers.
I don't ever claim to know it all, and always keep an open mind.
advice
so my periods been really weird latley. i had it in december, but i dont think iv had it since then. im kinda worried because my boyfriend and i mess around are both of our "areas" whave been near eachother but we have never actually had sex. I am also very underweight though. I know that being underweight can mess up your period. So i was wondering if its most likley my weight or if theres a chance im pregnant? thank you! (i rate high!)
It does not take actual penetration to cause pregnancy. Sperm survive in the folds of the vagina because it is a warm and moist place. It is possible that you are pregnant, remember it only takes one sperm to fertilize an egg, and there are millions in one drop of semen.
The first thing a Dr would do is to give you a pregnancy test. So in essence this should be your priority. If it comes back negative then you can try to discover the other reasons (such as being underweight). Even though irregular periods are not that uncommon, they should not be considered normal.
[True Question.] 15/f
I`m scared of dying or anyone dying close to me. I asked this question:
http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=412887
And I`m doing really good about that situation. I can finally look at his picture without wanting to cry. But lately everytime my mind goes blank, death of my parents or sister or brother come into my mind. The thing that even freaks me out the most is that I know that they are doing to die sooner or later, & I can`t even try to stop it. I know i`d be miserable without them. I couldn`t even cope with the lost of my cousin, imagine trying to cope with my parents or sister/brother dying. No body knows I feel this way, and it`s eating me inside. What I`m trying to ask is how can I possibily get over this right now & worry about it later? I don`t want my fear of death running my life. Ughhh. I`m just so scared of this. Help. PLEASE.
Even though most people don't talk about it, the fear of death is quite natural. It is simply because humans fear the unknown. The majority of people cope with the fear of death by having a strong religion that believes in the after life. You could probably call any church in the phone book and speak to a pastor about this subject. It is something they are well trained to deal with. I once read that death is a part of life, just as birth is a part of life. It is just moving into a new dimension or on to another stage. We were warm and comfortable in our Mother's womb..and we were afraid to be born into a cold wide open, noisey place. Once we got here we were wrapped in a warm blanket and there were people that loved us and met our needs. After hearing about people with NDE (near death experience) I believe that dying is like that too, at first it may be frightening--but then as we travel towards the light we become warm and comfortable again. Think of it like an adventure, if you are content in knowing their is an after life you will look forward to seeing your loved ones and living in a place where there is no pain or sickness.
This question has been bothering me for quite sometime now...
If someone is depressed why wouldn't they want to reach out and get help?
Thanks
I have found this to be true in many cases. Depressed people don't always take the steps necessary for help. One of the reasons is people who have a true deep clinical depression believe that even little things are overwhelming. Setting an appointment, going to it, and actually talking to a Dr about how they are feeling is a big task for someone who is depressed. In other words in some cases of depression they just can't get themselves together enough to take the first steps alone.
I think I may have social anxiety(sp). Whenever my friends do something without me I start to think they don't like me and and start to get very depressed. I've been depressed a lot lately for different reasons also but I was thinking I may have social anxiety. I'm starting to feel separated from my friends and that I only have one tru friend. I'm also getting depressed more easily. The slightest thing makes me force back tears. Does anyone have an idea as to what this might be? Thank you.
Social anxiety is fear of social situations or being around groups of people. However, you may have a form of anxiety. If you honestly think this you should see your Dr for treatment options. If your friends do things without you it's perfectly okay, they are allowed to do that. You cannot control their thoughts or words so don't worry about what you can't control. Attempt to make new friends by joining a group or club where their are people your age. As soon as you start to feel better about yourself you will project a different image and your old friends will want to spend time with you as well. WE sometimes encourage people to treat us a certain way just by the act that we put on. If you believe you are deserving of the invitations, and project that image by being polite, happy and smiling a lot others will come around and include you. People like to be around others who are happy. Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.
ok, so 1st, i'm 18, my gf is 17. To be blunt, her mom is very imbalanced. she's like cinderalla's stepmother. , doing all these things. She constantly battering, yelling, and swearing at her. totally at random. and she's always making her do too much stuff. because of her, my gf is working 2 jobs, and she wants her to get more. On top of a really hard school load (4 AP classes), she always has a list of chores to do. Like to perfection, her mom will make her scrub the bathroom fro hours till its "right". She even kept her home from school so that she'd do more chores.
The thing is, i really, really care about her. I mean, its not healthy to be facing this all the time. It really is verabl and mental abuse. How can i get her to get help (or get help for her)?
I don't want it to seem that as a bf, i'm trying to drive her away from her mom, but she really needs help. i feel stuck. what can i do?
I don't think turning her in to the law or cps is the answer at this point, and you certainly don't want to alienate the Mom or you will have hell to pay if she becomes your mother-in-law. Of course you don't want to drive her away, but she does need to get away..and since she is 17 the opportunity to do so is right around the corner. Focus on when your g/f turns 18, help her make plans to move out-either by getting money to go to college or a place of her own through working. If she is planning on college the hs counselor can help with that--since I get a sense that the mother might not help, your g/f might need to do it on her own with your help. If all else fails, she may wish to consider joining the military. Free money for school and a chance to live away from home. Can't be any worse than what her Mom puts her through! Take her to talk to a recruiter! You sound like a great guy to be so concerned! Good luck ;-)
I really need advice on how I can stop myself from getting angry at my parents! every time I get angry I start flipping out and it gets so bad I try running away and I get in trouble with police and everything just because of my anger!
How can i make myself not get angry?
It's great that you realize that your anger is a negative in your life. Some teenagers are naturally edgy and over reactive, but when anger creates the problems that you describe it is time to do something about it.
Remember this quote: “If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.”
When someone does something that you percieve makes you angry, don't react for a few minutes. Turn your back and count to ten. When you do speak--talk calmly and slowly. If you are too tense to do that, excuse yourself from the room and say "I am upset right now, I will talk to you when I can think straight."
Can people force you to think and feel in a certain way? Of course not! Anger is an emotion and it is a choice.
Good luck to you ;-)
i cannt stand my mother any more, she is fucking crazy. she randomly get all mad at me and screams and will fight with me, and im no person to just sit there and take it. a few examples, this morning i went to sit and watch tv in her room and she was flipping our sayin i dont want you in here get out! telling me to "go FU** my self" and if im in the bathroom, doing my makeup or either going to the bathroom she comes in like shes allowed when im in there! and she`ll yell at me and stuff and if i tell her to get out and like eggs me on and gets in my face saying like " you think your tough??" i hate her shes crazy.. and ya ive known shes been on drugs forever but shes never done anything, like last night at like 3:45 am she was friggen in the bathroom blowing her nose out like it was her friggen job. then after she yelled at me to get out of the bathroom this morning she was fine! she askked me to go away with her this weekend but now tonight shes being crazy
i hate her ,i cant even stand being here? what can i do she doesnt listen.. any ideas what drugs shes using
Just guessing that the drug she is using could be some sort of stimulant such as meth, crank, crack or coke. This causes the highs and lows and extreme irritability when the user is coming down (withdrawing from the drug). In addition the "nose blowing" could be a hint that she is snorting the drug.
I am not sure how old you are, but no matter your age, life is too short to be treated badly. If you are dependent upon your Mom for all your basic needs this makes the situation even harder. Just remember in spite of your Mother's problem, you can be a good person. Don't blame yourself! Don't fight with her--and lose control of your own emotions. Arguing with her will not help the situation because she cannot think or react logically. Most users deny that there is ever a problem and if they do admit it, they pass the blame or turn the tables.
Since you posted on this board it is in a way asking for help which is good, but you need more than what any advice givers here can help with.
The first step you can take is to join ala-teen, even if your Mom is not using alcohol, those people will know what you are going through and teach you ways to cope.
Search for a meeting in your area. If you don't have transportation they may be able to help you with that too. If you don't believe alateen is an option, call a drug rehab program and ask to speak with a counselor, they can help with an intervention to get your Mom into treatment. Don't be ashamed to speak up and ask for help, you do not have to suffer alone!
Best of luck to you and please let me know how things are going.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html
Here is the little story that I need advice on.I like him, he likes me. I asked him to the dance and we went together. We danced together a lot and we were really close, so close everyone assumed we were making out, but we werent. Anyway in the middle of a dance some girl comes over and asks him if he will go with her for a second. The girl that asked him was a girl that likes him. She asked him out a bunch of times, but everytime he has said no and told her he likes someone which is me. They went off together and he never came back, which made me really upset and kind of pissed. I told him how I felt the next day and he said he was truly sorry and that his intention wasn't to hurt me and how he wished that it hadn't happened. They didn't do anything, but how should Iknow how he feels. He also told me that I may not believe it now, but he really does love me and he hates that he hurt me.
I don't know what to do/think.
advice?
Thanks.
Sounds as if you were having a good time and this guy blew it for you! He should have had a little more class than he did. You said "they didn't do anything". If you weren't there you don't really know. You must be some what suspecious or you wouldn't have made that statement. He says he didn't intend to hurt you, but he should have thought of that at the moment. Sounds like he might have a little trouble with impulse control. There will always be other females in his life--from girls in highschool..to girls in college..in the workplace etc.
Does anyone know what/how to get rid of pimples between legs? It would be the area where my legs rub together. They also scar.
Usually these little pimples are caused by inflammed hair follicles. At night take a bath in water that is not too hot as so it doesn't irritate your skin. After bathing pat the area dry (don't rub) and apply triple antibiotic ointment. (if you are allergic to antibiotics ask the pharmacist if you should use the ointment) In the morning wash the area with mild soap and water and again pat dry. Apply gold bond or other medicated powder. Until the bumps are gone, don't wear jeans or shave that area. Wear clothes that are loose fitting and soft. If you must wear jeans you might try wearing cotton shorts under your jeans (such as boxers) that cover the area--and also make sure the jeans are not tight.
The key points. Decrease irritation and friction. Keep clean and dry. If it doesn't start to improve in a few days or the bumps worsen I recommend seeing your Dr. And avoid the other advice--don't pop them, this could cause them to get worse.
how early on can you tell if your pregnant..
&& what is the chance of getting preg on birth control. I Didnt take it how they told me to && I missed it a fiew times. I didnt know i was taking it wrong but someone told me today sense I didnt take it the right way it wont work fully.
I dont think im preg actualy im like 99.9% sure im not..
but you can never be to safe && sure
Although some pregnancy tests can detect pregnancy earlier, I firmly believe that they are most reliable 3 days or more after the date of the first missed period. In early pregnancy sometimes the only symptom is a missed period. Since early pregnancy symptoms often mimic the same symptoms of a period (tender breasts, increased urination, irritablity) the best way to know is take a pregnancy test or get one at the Dr. It is better to be safe than sorry. Since you are taking the pill I assume you do not want to become pregnant. If you have trouble remembering to take the pill you will lower it's effectivness and increase your odds of becoming pregnant. Those are both things to consider when chosing birth control. Speak with your Dr about other options such as a patch or injection. Another advice giver recommended natural family planning (NFP). Just going by the little information you have given us in your post, I wouldn't recommend that method for you. To be done properly it requires a great deal of committment and control and has a lot of room for error. It's much more complicated than taking a pill every day. Many women have succesfully used hormonal type birth control with few to no side effects. Like I said before discuss your options with your Dr, and I highly doubt he/she would recommend NFP.
so my boyfriend and i just had sex for the first time together...he was a virgin i was not...and we both love eachother and so we both decided we didnt want to have "kinky", "horney" sex...we wanted loving, passionate sex..so when we were having sex i expected it to be amazing...but i was kinda dissapointed cus i thought he would look at me , or telll me he loved me while we were doing it...but he dditn..he did not look at my face the whole time...and he didnt say he loved me once....was he just using me for sex..?
Females use sex to get intimacy, males use intimacy to get sex. In other words our brains work differently and expectations between the sexes differ. In the heat of the moment it is difficult to think long term about all the things that go along with sex. Those things are likely to surface after sex (commitment, the relationship, possible pregnancy). His brain could have been flooded with confusing information. In addition, he may have been concerned and completely focused on his performance and what your expectations were. Especially since it was his first time, he was feeling less than confident, and he knows you have the experience to compare. Guys dread that comparison--or to think they might not be as good as someone else. Does he tell you that he loves you at other times? Are you sure this is going to be your life partner? Are you on the same level as far as commitment? I am guessing that you might not be sure of that, or you wouldn't be disappointed and worried now.
approximately a month ago my Boyfriend and I were foolin around and while we've never had sex we got a little carried away... to sum it all up he ended up cumming on my butt- we tried to clean it off as soon as possible but technically it is possible that some could have slid down to my vagina... does anyone think that I might get pregnant- I was off my birth control and havent had my period for two months (always been screwed up without my birth control) but he never penetrated me- what do you think?
It doesn't take an actual penetration to become pregnant, it seems as if you are already aware of that fact. In the mean time practice safe sex or abstain, and take the pregnancy test. If the results are negative you probably should get back on the pill. If you don't start your period soon be sure to see your Dr to make sure nothing else is wrong.
how can i get my dog into modeling? like everyone always comments on what i beautiful dog she is and she is very photogentic (yes i am a camera whore) and i would love to get her involved in doing ads for like petco and places like that. like not calendar modeling (although that would be nice) i believe she has the skills to get into it and shes almost a year old a very well trained. I dont want to get her an agent or anything fancy like that. how do i go about getting her into modeling?
Take many pictures of your dog posing and put together a portfolio in a nice album. For TV commercials--do a little video at home of your dog.
The first page of the album or cover of the video should be her profile--along with any tricks she can do or obedience training that she has had. Call your local TV stations and ask to meet with the marketing or sales person. Most local stations produce commericals for local businesses. If you can come up with ideas on how your dog can help sell products or services--write those down and present them with the portfolio. If your dog doesn't get a part you might certainly get your name out there and be considered for a position in advertising yourself!
By the way, make some business cards that includes your dogs name and yours.
Good luck and I wish you the best in your adventure. Most importantly if this is something you really want to do, don't give up!
ok so in november i got a puppy from the animal shelter...she was 19 weeks when we got her...she deffinately has terrier in her and we think beagle and maybe a little greyhound...but she bites like crazy and she is very wild...does anyone know like what we can do to train her...because we bought books but nothing has really helped...
With one of our pups I used the Shrill Scream--"ouuuuch" when he would bite and it curtailed the behavior well. With another I had to give her a little squirt of breath spray in the mouth every time she'd bite or chew something that she shouldn't. This has to be done immediatly when the puppy is biting or has bitten or it won't be understood. After a short time all I had to do was show her the can and she'd stop. You know the mama dog would just nip the puppy back...but I don't recommend this. :-)
my dog is a maltese and turning 2 years old [ i guess 14 in dog years ] and lately has been barking a lot at night. he used to when he first got here but stopped. about a week ago he started to bark after everyone goes to sleep. so i have to keep going down stairs and wake up and either hit his cage or take him out to the garage for him to run around and come in...but he keeps barking a few minutes after i go up. what should i do? should i try to tire him out by running with him or something right before we go to sleep? or will that have an opposite effect and have him wanting to play more? please i'm desperate - i havn't been able to sleep at all because i'm the only one who is willing to go downstairs. thanks in advance.
Try to get your dog into a consistant routine. Exercise in late afternoon, give him food and water in the early evening. Take him out to the bathroom and make sure he goes before putting him in the kennel at night. Keep the room cooler, give him a comfortable pad or blanket to lay on, turn on a radio and turn the lights off. He has learned how to push your buttons. If you keep going to him when he is barking he will continue the behavior for as long as he lives! In other words the dog has become the pack leader. You need to take charge, be firm but fair. I don't recommend a bark collar or taking him to bed with you. You can curtail the behavior with time and patience.
My family doesnt care if I am starting to do real good in school that i have been coming home every night and that i have been usualy calling them telling them where i am going!
Im not doing anything bad no drugs no alchohal or anything!
My family always puts my down.. my sister came N my room went through everything nd ripped up things she gave me. My dad calls me at a friends yelling at me saying I didnt tell them where I was going BUT I DID.
My dad tells me im still doing drugs nd going out drinking like every day but im not! and how can I be if im usualy always home because they dont let me do anything!
I dont even want to bother talking to them because they always put me down or yell at me and tell me everything thats wrong with me but NEVER anything positive.
My sister wrote on a peice of toilet paper saying "I dont give to people that steal. I DONT feel sorry for you." I Havent even taken anything fomr her in 2 months because I have changed my old bad ways..
WHat should I do! IM tired of being treated like this!
You must understand that once trust has been violated, it takes those that love you a long time to regain their confidence in you. I am not saying it is right or wrong, but it is human nature. If you know you are doing well, be proud of yourself. Make your self a poster with some positive affermations written on it and hang it where you will see it every day. Memorize some of the affermations and soon you will start to feel them. If you start to feel and think positive about yourself, you will present yourself in a better way to others and with time they might come around. If after a couple of months you don't notice any improvement, join a church group or other positive organization where you will be appreciated. This will further boost your self image and bring about good energy in your life.
If you do a google for positive affirmations you will find many sites.
Here's some examples of what I suggest to put on your poster.
I am worthy of being loved.
I am a nice person.
I am good at ( )
and so on....
Okay this may come off as a very stupid question, but since I was adopted, my birth my mom was really young when she had me.. well 20. And she wasnt married, gah I'm worried that if she had an STD or like ahh something, would I have it? Theres no way I can know, beacuse we dont even have any information about them.. and I'm kinda freaking out now.
I am not sure how old you are, but most likely your birth Mother's Dr would have been aware of any STD that could have been transmitted to you. If you have always been healthy, there is not much cause for concern. If that still doesn't relieve your fear, please talk to your parents or your Dr.
There is this annoying asian girl that I met today because of the new seating chart in Bio. when first she saw me she just glared at me and started picking on me about my race. (cause a lot of people think that I'm mixed or half white/half asian even though I'm just chinese) Then after school she almost hit me with her car and she took a u-turn just to confront me. I know that it wasn't my fault cause while I was crossing the street she just took a sudden turn without looking. I talked to some people and they said that she is jealous of me and is trying to compete with me since she has the asian eyes and I don't have them. What should I do besides ignore her?
She may be jelous of you, but don't let it get you down, that should be a compliment! Try being nice to her, and if it doesn't change her attitude at least you will be the better person.
Of course if the threats continue, like the stunt with the car, you have to report this to the authorities. Either the police or school administration...a lot of school violence happens because of jelously!
i am 15 nd going 2 be having a baby.i havent told my rents yet,and i want 2 keep the baby,but i was wondering if there was ne way my rents or the state could take my baby away without my consent
Yes, there are many reasons the state could take your baby. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it happens all the time. They normally will look at family placement of the baby first, and this may be your parents. If you can take your responsibility of being a parent seriously, and do all the things a good parent would normally do. You most likely won't have to worry about any intervention from CPS. I would recommend going to an organization called "Birthright" or something on that order and tell them you want to keep and raise your baby. They will refer you to resources that can help you. Of course the first thing you may want to do, is to tell your parents and then get the right kind of medical attention. Part of raising a child is to plan for the future so be sure to finish your education and try to eliminate the "gang slang" from your vocabulary. It just doesn't seem to suit a mommy real well.
hi people
well you know parents they should help u grow up and stuff but i am 13 yéars old and i dont need stupid parents like mine! they wont leave me alone they say: brush your teeth ever morning dont forget to wash your hair and then when we eat my dad always goes like: your holding your spoon uncorrect blablabla and i am not aloude to say anything than! well i dont know if every parents are like these and by the way once my mom said: dont listen to your music to loud and why dont you listen to jazz and not hip hop I LOVE HIP HOP! well what should i do now? please help!
Most parents are just like you describe, except for those that don't give a darn about their kids. On the brighter side of things your parents must care very much about you! The nagging does get a little annoying doesn't it? Explain to your parents that part of growing up is independence. I am sure they want you to be a productive independent adult someday! You should be able to remember to do self care tasks without their prompting. Perhaps if they see you are in a regular routine of washing your hair and brushing your teeth, maybe they will stop reminding you. I know it's not fair, but you probably have to prove yourself. As far as the music..we all have different taste. Asking you to listen to Jazz would be like someone trying convince them to listen to hip hop. It works both ways.