Member Since:
January 9, 2005Answers:
1032Last Update:
October 3, 2012Visitors:
75784Favorite Columnists
DangerNerd
Cux
clarayow
nikitathecheetah
Mackenzie
mooch789
sexy_rexy
BitsandPieces
xomichelle891xo
Paper_Heartsz
mayonnaise
more...
about

advice
I have a friend who I have known for a couple years now. She lives far enough away so that it would be hard for me to go and see her. Though lately I've talked to her on the phone and IM. I enjoy talking to her and remembering the good times that we had, but there's one problem: she was one of my biggest crushes ever. I have a girlfriend now, and I am VERY happy with her, in fact, happier than I've ever been in my life. But when I talk to my friend, the memories of good times come back, as well as the memories of how much I liked her and the memories of being rejected by her.
Now she tells me that she wants me to come visit sometime, yet I know that there are other guys that she's interested in, so I don't think that she wants to see me again in hopes of starting a relationship. But if talking to her hurts, how much would seeing her hurt me? Is there a way I can help her to understand what contacting her does to me? Or should I just live with it?
I love my girlfriend very much, and I know that she, not my other friend, could ver likely be the girl I will marry. I have no intention of leaving my girlfriend for my other friend, either, and I would NEVER cheat on the girl I love.
So along with those other questions is this: is there a way to keep my relationship AND my friendship? Or do I have to choose? If it does come to a choice, though, I know that I could say goodbye to my friend.
Thanks for you time!
Okay, well it was long long ago, right?
Maybe you should go see her, because you guys are friends now, and you have a girlfriend, and you love her. And if your very in love with your girlfriend it shouldnt hurt you anymore to see your friend, if you still have feelings for her it might, but remember your friend rejected you, and your in love, so keep that in mind.
If you want to tell your friend how you feel, you can, but that might make her think you like her again, make sure you make her understand that you are in love.
Yes there is a way to keep your relationshpi with your girlfriend and friend, you love your girlfriend, you should be able to hang out with your friend, because you shoudlnt have feelings for her naymore, but if that wont work for her, than make a choice, and take your girlfriend.
But I'm sure you can make things work ouut..
take care.
i've been friends with my best friend thats a guy, since i was in intermediate school..and all of this year we'd always talk and flirt and all that stuff well a week ago he stopped talking to me..and i had no idea why, his friend had told me that he told him that he hated me bc of all the crap ive done to him this year. my best friend well old best friend wont even talk to him about it but i dont know what i did, how do i get him to talk to me about it bc i dont want to lose him as a friend
Well do you even have any idea of what you did?
I know this is hard thing to do, but what I suggest is you just give him space for now, when things calm down, then try talking to him,
but otherwise forcing him to talk will not be good.
Okay. 14/F. I have really low self esteem. I can't stand the way I look. I just completely hate myself. I hate my looks, I hate my personality, I just hate everything about me! I've thought about cutting SO many times, and I was actually ready to one day, but my friend stopped me. Honestly, I feel like she's the only person who cares whether I do it or not. I guess my question is, What can I do to feel better about myself?
I dont know you, but I care.
Because anyone who wants to hurt themself, thats so horrible and sad.
Sweety, maybe I suggest starting to like yourself, its really hard, but we have to realize no ones perfect, and we all envy what others have, and what others look like.
But beauty is skin deep, and also in the eye of the beholder.
What you can do to make yourself feel better is make a list of all the great things about yourself, remind yourself whats good, and dont say you cant think of any because i'm sure your friend could make a never ending list!
And try to have a positive attitude about life! It will make things better, seriously, I used to be super negative, but if you try things with a postitve attitude, it turns out mucch better!
Take care,
if you have any questions,
dont hesitate to ask me!
IM me @ KaylehMae , even if I'm away, i can get back to you, and I'm usually by the computer somwhere so I'll hear it.
Or drop something in my inbox!
if u keep dreaming about the same thing/person.. what does that mean? like, why would i keep dreaming about someone that i don't really thing about during the day? thank youuu
Well dreams are complicated,
some poeple think they mean things, and some people think they dont mean a thing.
So sometimes you dream about whats usually on the back of your mind, what you push aside during the day, your subconsious..
And sometimes its just random,
and they really dont mean anything.
If you like that person, that could be why you keep dreaming about that person, or it could just be random.
who knows?
:)
K my bff is 14 f just like me. Like a week ago we were talking my friend seemed upset. I asked her what was wrong and she asked if I could see a lump though her bra. I said no, but I can sorta see it if i look she said she had a golf ball sie lump on her brest and is freking out, I don't know what to do she won't tell anyone and I think it would be akward for me to anyone help!
Why did you say No, if you saw something?
Thats extreamley seroius, you need to tell someone, or convince her to tell someone, its a serious matter.
I highly suggest you let an adult know.
1.
I'm a little on the ugly side if you ask me.
I don't have a boyfriend ; while all my friends do and I feel left out. It's getting to the point where I'm moody and depressed ALL the time ; and it sucks. I really want a boyfriend. How can I make myself more attractive and look better.
2.
Also I have another question; My best friend always talks about her boyfriend and it pisses me off. I've told her to stop because it makes me feel left out but she still hasn't. (I've told her many of times) How can I make her stop?
I'm sure you are beautiful. There is no ugly, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. & Beauty is skin deep!
I know it sucks to not have a boyfriend when all your friends do, you are left questioning whats wrong wwiht me? I dont have a boyfriend, and some of my friends do. To be honest, I wanted a boyfriend really bad too at a point, I even felt desperate, but dont be depressed about it, beacuse what will guys think of you then? They look for independent girls, who are strong and can be themselves, and most importantly you need to be able to be happy by yourself without a guy.
You dont need to make yourself more attractive, because then if you get a guy by making yourself prettier its obvious he only wants you because of your looks, and I dont think you would want that right?
Just wait, it takes time but a guy will come to you, and I know you probably hate hearing that, I did too. But its the truth, focus on life, and living it to the fullest, and a guy will find you.
Because nobodys perferct for everyone but everyone is perfect for someone!
Well if your friend doesnt understand that it bugs you, and you've told her how you feel, tell her again, and be serious, if she still doesnt stop, then tell her for the last time, try to make her understand.
Anymore questrions send them to my inbox!
omg i am sooo scared. i think my boyfriend is mad at me i just don't know why. we were in pe and stuff and we were playing softball but we aren't on the same team and we were playing against other teams and stuff and when we were on the way back to the gym i called his name and he turned in looked then looked away and kept on walking. Then i'm trading lockers with one of my friends that's a guy and he saw me putting stuff in the locker and he just walked right passed me. I don't know if i should say something to him or not. I'm just really scared that he might get even more mad if i do ask him that question. things like this are so confusing.
Well communication is the key.
Talk to him, because maybe he isnt mad at you at all. Maybe your just thinking it,
just check, talk to him!
I'm sure things will be okay,
let me know how it goes!
okay i have a boyfriend and i like 2 other guys. i really dont know what to do. because i really like my boyfriend and i really like these other 2 guys. its really confusinng! and the 2 other guys like me! and im really stressing ouut!HElLPP!
Well if you liked your boyfriend enough you wouldnt like other guys. So maybe I suggest you like.. break up with your boyfriend because you arent being very fair to him.
you know :S?
hope things work out.
x
Okay, well I got school picutes. I didn't like how they turned out so, I just kept them in my bookbag and then handed them back in saying I wasn't going to buy any. (without showing my parents) So then my mom is calling my friend's moms [just to collect the daily gossip] and she finds out that they handed pictures out. And she's like, "where is your pictures?" and I lied and said "I forgot them in my locker, and then handed them in" and to make a long story short, now she's calling the school and my homeroom teacher to get the pictures back, JUST so my dad can see the pictures. Theres only a week of school left, and it's just embarrassing just to look at my teacher.
Oh hun, its okay,
that would be really embarassing, and dont worry since it is almost summer, you wont have to see that teacher until next year, which is a long time from now actually. And dont worry about it, he will probably forget about it by then!
Just enjoy your summer, dont stress!
ok so there is this guy and i really liike him. but he is going out with my best friend. before he started going out with her he would flirt with me. But guess what he asked her out instead. she always gets the guys . But i really like him and when she isnt around he flirts with me. i dont want to break them up. but i need some help in what to do b.c they always want me with them when he is @ her house or @ his so i have to watch them flirt. i thought about making myslef look better and show him what he is missing but idk . Plz help !!
13/female
well, the main thing is ..
Despite that you two flirted,
he chose your friend.
And since they are together, just leave the situation alone.
And tell your friend that you dont want to hang out with them because its awkward, you dont need to explain why, but tell her youd prefer it if you two you and her just hung out.
You could make yourself look better and show him what hes missing, but I dont suggest that, because hes with your BEST FRIEND! that would be mean, so hes missing out on you wiht your BEST friend? That doenst make sense, dont let boys wreck a friendsihp.
I wouldht worry about them etiher, since if shes the same age as you, or around that, its not like the relationship is permanent, and its not like they are going to get married.
Because when your in middle school, dating is kinda imature, because most middle schoolers arent even allowed on a "real" date until they are 16, and their dates cant drive yet anyways.
You know what i'm saying?
so its okay, theree will be tonss of other guys.
My parents will no longer let me hang out with one of my friends. I don't even see why. She's very respectful and nice. They just don't like her for some reason. How can I make them let me hang out with her again? She's a really good friend and I don't want to lose her. I will rate any1 who helps. So please help. Thank you in advance.
Well you have to ask your parents what the reason is. Because maybe they know something you dont? I really suggest that you ask your parents, and you tell them that you think shes respectful and nice. And tell them how nice she is, and see if that doesnt change their mind.
It could be beacuse your parents arent telling you something about it.
i have one of those invisalign retainers that i have to wear while i sleep. after a couple days it starts to smell and get really gross. ive tried rinsing it with water, it didnt do anything. then i tried using toothpaste. (brushing it like i would brush my teeth) it only worked a little. so i was wondering if there was anything i could do to get them really clean?
I would just try soaking it in listerine, or some sort of breath liquid. Or call the makers of invisalign and ask what you can do about it.
:)
im 13 and a girl. A couple of months ago my friends asked this guy out for me. he said no.Latley he has been stairing at me, bumping into me, flirting with my friends in front of me. Also my friend calls him Mr.(my last name) when he calls her PP(perfect pitcher)and he doesnt care. When i asked him to stop he said no. Then in front of his best friend who hates me he said on a scale 1-10 of prettyness im a 3.5. Also he asks my friends if i still like him. when they ask about or talk to him about me he gets innoyed.Does he like me?or does he like one of my friends?(if he does like me)how do i make sure without being obious?
thanks
No I dont think he likes you,
I think hes just being an egotistical jerk about it.
You woudlnt want him to like you anyways, because if this is how he acts when he likes you, then how do you think he would act if he really really did like you??
The fact he's beign so mean, proves that hes just a big jerk.
Dont let him get to you though.
how do i change my password if the email doesnt send it to me? i have tried to do that verifying letters/numbers thing in order to change the pass word but the email didnt get sent to me! its been like a week. so how can i get it becaues i need to change my password. and please dont say get a new sn.. please just dont. there has to be a way!!
If it doesnt send it to your email,
your email might not be correct then.
If all else fails, email the people and tell them what happens, and as long as you can somehow verify the account is yorus you can get it back hopefully.
okay well a few years ago i was going out with this kid and we broke up. well all of a sudden he starts talkin to me again. he says that he still likes me & wants to give us another shot. the problem is he lives kinda far away. i do really like him but i've been hurt so many times before that i'm not sure if i want to commit to another relationship. i do really like him though. im just really confused & anybody who can help please!
Okay, well in my opinion, I woudlnt go out with him again. If you broke up and it didnt work, what makes you think it will work again you know? And plus if he lives far away, how do you know he isnt with other girls? And if you dont feel your ready to be in a relationship agian, then dont, listen to your heart.
Im 16 and ive never really been kissed. I have..but not a full makeout session or nothing. All my friends are very experienced in that department..and it makes me feel like awkward when they talk about that stuff because i dont really know. Is it bad that im 16 and still havent "madeout" with a guy?
Its not bad that you havent made out with a guy yet at 16. Because not a lot of people know that by just making out, it changes everything inside of you, all your emotions. You cant jsut make out with any guy without feeling anything. And thats fact. Your turn will come and when you find the right guy, making out, will probably mean more. You know? or in general a kiss will mean more than making out. :)
And its not bad at all, everyones first kiss comes when they are ready.
I worry about EVERYTHING. The smallest thing gets my mind going and I won't stop worrying about things until someone assures me of the situation. Even if it's something like my girlfriend not contacting me for just two days, I start to go crazy! My mind keeps thinking "what if? what if? what if?!" Are there certain techniques I can use to keep myself from doing this? Or anybody else who might have problems like this who could help me?
Thank you!
You need to trust.
You need to stop worrying, start living!
Thats indeed what I say, because worrying isnt living.
I used to be like that too, but I rely on God, I dont know if you do, but here is a verse that has greatly helped me out:
25 “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? 27 Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?
.. See, what is worrying going to do to your life? Nothing, its going to make it shorter, because you'll be spending too much time not enjoying life, and just living it. Dont worry abotu things, God will take care of them.
I'm sorry if you dont believe in God, because then pretty much you would have disregarded my whole advice toyou.
But if you dont believe in God, you need to have confidence in youreslf and the people around you, that you'll be okay and you just need to stop worrying, because nothing different is going to happen if youdo worry. Or if you dont, the out come will always be the same.
Hope I helped.
I keep losing my appetite :( I think it's because of stress but half of the time I can't eat my mothers dinner. I just dont like the food.. steaks and chicken, etc.. Is it just my taste in food or is there something wrong with me? Every time I try to eat, i get nauseous..
Well if you dont like her food, thats why you dont eat it.. but is it that you dont like her cooking, or the steaks and chicken?
Because its your choice not to make something else, so I would guess it would be that its your taste in food.
But if you try to eat andyou feel nauseous thats not your fault, you should go see a doctor.
Something seroius like this needs medical help..
I am 14 and I have been dating this guy who was one of my best friends beforehand for about a month now. However, for the last week or so, my boyfriend has been really serious about us, and I don't like it. I much preferred being good friends with him or going out with our friends. All in all, I don't like him that much anymore. But he's just the opposite: I think he likes me even more than before.
I don't want to hurt his feeling, but I really want to break up with him; I like someone else. He is the typical popular person, and though I am not really in his crowd, we are still friends. We both play hockey and he is so much fun to talk to. I really enjoy spending time with the popular person, but I always feel guilty because I really like him and I don't think he likes me any more than a friend.
Should I break up with my boyfriend and ask out the popular person? Or should I keep everything the way it is?
Thanks,
Cat
Well, you made the decision in the first place .. to date your best friend. He's probably being serious, because relationships are ment to be serious. But then again you are 14, but a lot of 14 year olds I know are freshman, and some of them do indeed have serious meaningful relationships. Now maybe you do really like him, but the fact that hes taking it so seriuosly your scared? Because commitment tends to freak people out.
But if not, and you really do want to break up with him, then do it, because the longer you keep him, the harder it will be for him, especially if he likes you alot. But let me say,you cant expect him to want to be your friend, after you guys break up. I wouldnt want to be friends with my boyfriend after we broke up, unless it was a mutal break up. But yours isnt, just leave him alone after you break up with him. Because just like us, boys need space.
I dont reccomend breaking up with your boyfriend though, especially to ask a "popular person" out, becuase what if he says no? Then your relationship with that guy ,will be weird too, beacuse you asked him out but he rejected you.
Is running a half a mile in 4 mins and 43 seconds fast regular or slow?
I think its somewhat in between..
because it difffers from people,
people who are in shape, and people who arent.
I'm not saying your not in shape, but usually the people who arent go slower..
In my half mile, most of the girls ran it in 2-3 minutes.. But dont worry, its pretty good.