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I don't judge. I've seen a lot, and the things I haven't, I'm always open to listening to. I want to make a difference. advice
Right, so..
I have a friend, lets call her... Sam.
She was inviting people to go and stay at a theme park for a few days. She invited nearly all of her friends, but left me out. I can't just ask if I can go, because I dont want to sound cheeky. But, I don't mean this to sound selfish. If I had gone to a theme park or somewhere to stay, I would've took her. Actually, I have took her to a awards show once.
I feel really sad.
What should I do/say?
There are a couple of options as to why she didn't ask you to go, but remember to never just assume things! You could get a really bad outlook on something and find out later that it was completely wrong.
Are you guys very close lately? Maybe she feels you two have grown apart. I'm sure she appreciated the Awards Show, but that dosen't turn into a free ticket for more hangouts--Though I'd say you deserve it. If you two haven't been talking much lately, it could be reasonable that she didn't ask you to go.
Look at the group of friends she's taking: Is there something special about that group? She could be taking a certain group of people for a specific reason. For example, my friends and I have this thing called 'crew', and we usually hang out most of the time, doing certain things that would appeal to us, rather than the rest of our friends. If you're not really in that group, it could be understandable that she'd think it'd be awkward or something for you to go.
Also, can she only take a certain number of people? This could be another issue that she couldn't really get around. Assuming she's going in a parent's car or something, there's limited space, and the selection could have been the first few people she told. It's understandable that you'd be upset that she didn't choose you, but maybe there were reasons such as these involved.
She probably hasn't said anything because she feels very guilty. I wouldn't say to IM her or something and be like "Why wasn't I invited!?". Try to maybe hint at things. Ask her what's up lately, what her plans are for the summer. Maybe say you miss her and want to hang out. If the truth dosen't come out then, it probably won't. If that's the case, try to talk to one of her friends if you're close at all with them.
However, if she does tell you something, let her know how you're feeling if the reason dosen't seem um, reasonable. Tell her that you understand that she didn't invite you, but you don't really think it's fair in a way. Just make sure you hear her out before you go off.
Also, it's really understandable to be sad. Just try to talk things over and see if it cheers you up at all. If not, try to hang out with another friend the day they're going. You'll see that even if you didn't go, it could have been worth it, missing it because you could be doing something better?
XOXO
KAT.
well, teenagers are bound to have issues. whether its with suicide, drugs, alcohol, or family. and my friends have a lot of problems. as well as me.
my friends give me great advice on my issues, but the probelm with me? i SUCK at giving good advice. earlier, one of my friends was about to kill himself because he was about to be shipped off to boot camp. i tried to tell him it was gonna be fine, but of course i dont know that!!
i am really bad at making people feel better, i just make them feel worse. and then i feel worse. how am i supposed to make them feel better? i want to be a good friend, but everything i try is just useless, cliches on how to focus on the positives. we're teenagers. no one focuses on the positives until they reach midlife.
what do i do??
Remember, everyone's got their different talent. Your friends may have their advice, while you have something else. If you feel like you can't give advice or help figure a situation out, that's not the only possibility to help out! You could also just try to cheer someone up. While it dosen't get rid of the problems, it helps to cheer someone up and realize there's someone who can make them feel better.
In the example of your friend about to kill himself: Even the best advice may not have worked with him. There's really only so much you can say sometimes in those situations. However, cheering him up would have been something great to do. Just letting him talk everything out, and trying to make him smile would have been great.
If you want to make people feel better, let them get absolutely EVERYTHING out, first. Then, offer your opinion, and let them know you're there for them through anything. They'll appreciate what you're saying, and it's better than a cheesy cliche. Tell them things are going to be okay however, because even when they seem like they couldn't possibly, if they wait things out they will be.
Little things like hugs, smiles, looking a person in the eye, a small touch could make all the difference, too. This shows closeness and will brigten the person's mood a bit, sometimes.
If you think you've stumbled upon a problem that's too great for you though, let someone else in. It's not a bad thing, and you'll have done your part by even trying. Doing the right thing and getting someone who CAN advise your freind(s) could be one of the best possible things you can do. I know it sucks not being the one to come in and fix all the problems, but it really helps and shows in the longrun that what you did was right.
You're not a bad friend because you're not a psychologist, haha. Just have your own way of brightening someone's day, and that could be all they need. Just know when to realize that's not enough, and to let someone else step in.
You're a great friend just for being concerned you're not doing enough in the first place. Just kow know the fact that you even care makes all the difference!
XOXO
KAT.
First off, what would be your definition of "fake"? People use that word in so many different ways, that I don't understand what it is anymore.
Anyways,..
This past year, I have lost many of my so called "best friends" over things that I did not do. Lately, people keep screwing me over like crazy. My friends would do the stupidest things and it just makes me think twice, how many chances should I give these people after all of the things that they did to me.
I have major trust issues and it's so hard for me to let go .. but I honestly don't know what to do. I stand up for myself at all times and I feel like I'm too nice sometimes.
I'm emotionally drained from being hurt and I don't know how to take it.
Are second chances always good, even third? Can some people ever change after being so "fake" towards me.
I just need any advice. Thank you.
'Fake', in my opinion would be: Acting like something you're not to impress others. That, or lying/giving opposite impressions to get something out of it. Basically, being untrue to gain something.
It's common to have 'drama' with friends, but if they're acting badly towards you over things you didn't do, set the record straight! It's not fair to you that they're making accusations/going against you. Also, even if you did do something wrong, don't you believe YOU deserve the second chances, too? It's hard to stand up for yourself, but if someone's wrongfully accusing you, let them know they're, well.. WRONG. You're not being a bad friend if you tell them they're not right, just as long as you're being honest.
It sounds like they're the ones who are messing up more, though. Put yourself in their shoes: Would you think you deserved a second chance? Don't let them by with no talk or anything. Make sure if you're deciding to give them a second chance, that you talk to them about what happened. If they seem remorseful, remember that EVERYONE makes mistakes, it's human nature. However, if they don't seem to really care, tell them what's wrong with it. It's up to you then, whether or not you forgive and forget, but remember that if they don't seem to regret anything, they won't hesitate to do it again.
According to the above 'guilt factor', that should determine how many chances you give. No one's perfect, and if your friends realize what they do is wrong, you should really consider all the chances they need. Some people naturally make more mistakes than others, and some of them would probably be really bothered to lose you as a friend. Then, the others who don't really seem to care, well do they really deserve your friendship? I mean, don't call them out after one strike, but really consider where you are as a friend to them, and how your life would be without them. If it seems better, kind of shy away, or try to fix the problems.
The ones who you really have as good friends will show their true colors, and if these people don't seem to 'shine' at all, think about if they're really improving your life at all. Get the best for yourself, because that's what you deserve!
XOXO
KAT.
I am best friends with a guy (we'll call him Bob) and recently he got a girlfriend and I find myself being outrageously jealous at times.
Well nowadays I tend to get angry very easily at Bob. For instance, if I text him and he doesn't text me back, I get mad and send him an even angrier text. If I'm having a problem, and go to him for comfort and advice, a lot of times he will brush me off and say that he can't possibly fix anything.
Before he got his girlfriend, I felt like he was always there for me and we talked pretty much non stop. Now, if I'm not the one texting him, I'll be lucky to hear from him once a week.
Do I have a right to be angry? How can I tell him that I'm feeling very hurt without sounding nasty?
I personally do think you have the right to be angry, at this point. Perhaps he could be busy lately (since a girlfriend is a HUGE commitment/time consuming), but he could still send a text your way sometimes, or something. It's completely okay for you to assume he's ignoring you or something like that, and to expect him to still act like he used to.
However, that could be difficult for him. Depending on how close you guys were, it may seem 'wrong' in his mind to be communicating with you the way he used to, since his girl friend could get annoyed. That doesn't excuse him from actually helping you through tough times or just asking 'what's up', though.
Don't let this get to you, though! It's difficult, but you have to try to be calm in this situation. If you're sending him angry texts, he may not really want to text back at this point. Try to be calm and ask if he could PLEASE text back, because you miss talking. Since you guys aren't talking much, as is, it might be good to let him know exactly how you're feeling--I doubt it could hurt much. Just let him know over a text or message or AIM that it's upsetting you that you're not talking as much, and you'd like to know why. Also, just ask him how he dosen't really help anymore. Is he angry at you? Did something happen? Tell him to be honest.
You won't sound nasty, as long as you keep yourself CALM, and ready to hear what he has to say. He'll see that you're being mature and it will make him more willing to actually talk about things.
Also, maybe you could try talking to his girlfriend a little. Not asking questions about this, but on a casual friend basis, if possible? This would make it more easy for him to be able to talk to you, since his girlfriend knows/trusts you. Try it out, it could help!
By the way--Do you know if he liked you at all, beforehand? It sounds a bit like that, in a way. The fact that he was SO close to you, and got a girlfriend and stopped just kind of stands out.. But I could be wrong (Just an observation).
Best of luck, and I hope this has helped!
XOXO
KAT.
I want my mom to get me yaz, the birth control but not because I want "birth control" I want it to regulate my period. I don't know how to ask my mom because she is just going to say, " thats just an excuse to have sex." and im not sexually active. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I should ask her?
If you're nervous about flat out asking her for birth control, drop some hints beforehand! Some things you could do would be to:
-Mention how irregular your periods are, and how inconvenient it is. Really let her know that it bothers you, and that it'd be annoying to have to wait for everything to settle down first. (As it takes like, 2+ years for periods to regulate).
-Be honest with your Mom about your dating life! Let her know that she can trust you, and make it clear that you're not sexually active or anything of that nature.
-Point out Yaz commercials, and say something positive about the regulation of periods/it's symptoms.
-If you have to, really complain about your period. Eventually, she'll probably realize that it's an issue, and consider something to help you out.
-Let your doctor know about your irregular/inconvenient periods at your next check up. The fact that you had the guts to speak up to a doctor will show your Mom that you're serious, and that it's actually a problem, not an excuse to get birth control. Ask the doctor questions about how it helps/etc., and she'll see your interest.
Just remember, most girls are put on birth control when their periods are extremly irregular/very heavy/or 6+ days. Assuming you fall under one of these categories, your doctor/Mom should be reasonable enough to figure something out for you.
Also, if she dosen't get the hint, have a talk with her. Be blunt and to the point--That your periods are really bothering you, and getting in the way, and that you'd really appreciate her considering birth control. If she wants to talk about responsability/your sex life, or lack of one, let her. It will reassure her, and get you some maturity points, and most likely work in your favor!
Good luck.
XOXO
KAT.
I'm 15 years old, and im currently with someone that is 31, And I can honestly say I have VERY strong feeling for him. I know that sounds SO bad, if someone ever told me that I would be speechless. I also im aware that it is illegal. But I am very mature for my age, and im not satisfied being with guys my age. Their just way to immature. I just would like some feedback on what you guys think? (Please no rude comments) Thanks!
Because you're fifteen, this seems like a much bigger issue, rather than if you were say, fourty five and he was sixty one. It's common, when people age, that age dosen't seem to matter much anymore. It's just standing out here, because you're so young, and he really DOES seem old enough to be your father. Seeming so young, people will think you're just being immature, and he's just using you, because at his age he should know how this looks if you guys are actually taking your relationship anywhere.
As mature as you are for your age, I'm warning you that the people around you will probably see what you're doing as the complete opposite, and rather say it's very IMMATURE. I can't really question your feelings, and I don't know how he feels about you, I'm just saying that other people will see this as a danger to you and probably be against it. Just make sure you're prepared for this discrimination if you decide to take this anywhere. If you think these feelings are worth the tough times, that's your choice.
Also, guys your age may seem immature at this point, but remember, it's probably because they ARE. Not as an insult to guys, but this is when they're actually maturing! While their bodies are going through changes, so are their minds. Remember, they're a little behind us in this sense, and they will grow up within the next few years.
If you really think it's going to work with this guy, wait it out. That will prove how strong your feelings are, and will make things a lot easier on the both of you. He could be arrested, and his reputation could be ruined if people found out he was with a minor (as mature and great as you may be), and it could strain your relationship. Try to wait for the age of consent, at least, and see if things have withstood time/issues/etc.
In this time, you'll be able to see how the guys your age have actually grown up. It seems like they're all immature now, but believe me they'll grow up, and you'll see that they're not all so bad!
XOXO
KAT.
full eyebrows or thin ones
As in most situations, it all depends on the person. The facial structure/hair color/skin color/use of make up/eye color/arch of the eyebrows all contribute to whether or not full or thin eyebrows would look better/worse.
Usually, to make it a little more simple, darker hair looks better with full eye brows/lighter with thinner. Also, it depends on how the person wears their hair. Having bangs or hair in your face would probably look better with fuller eyebrows, while hair pulled back or out of the face would look better with thinner, more 'dainty' eyebrows.
Also, if the person's nose is larger, fuller eyebrows would probably go better than thinner ones, and vice/versa for a smaller nose.
It all really depends on the face. There's no set preference for anyone, and nothing is sure to look good/bad.
XOXO
KAT.
I am uber excited for the movie but I know that the last book just came out. Are all four books going to be included in the movie? I would appreciate any more info you have. Thanks!
I'm not sure if I'm excited or not--I mean, I've got a specific image of the book, and gah! But anyway, haha, I'm pretty sure they'll just cover the first book. If you'd like to check up on anything else Twilight-related, check out:
http://www.stepheniemeyer.com
It's got tons of info on the movie's progress, as well as quotes of the day from the books, and progress and info on the new books!
XOXO
KAT.
Is it wrong to want my boyfriend to lose his baseball tournament (best in the province tournament) because i want him to come to the beach with me? Mind you its been a while since we've hung out. But baseball is his passion, lol.
Haha, if you just mean kind of secretly wishing that they'd lose, it's something we all do, really. You're not doing it to be malicious, you just hope things work out so that you can see each other. As long as you're not pressuring him to make a choice or something, it's fine. No need to feel guilty, because you just want to spend some time with him.
Like you said, baseball is his passion, so make sure you don't make him feel guilty or anything about going, obviously. Maybe you could go to his game and hang out afterwards if the beach was an option/not mandatory? Just remember that it's a good opportunity for him to be going to the tournament, and I'm sure he'd love to spend time with you if he could.
For now, just cross your fingers (;
XOXO
KAT.
A question just popped in my head and I was wondering can a tampon pop your cherry because I think I popped mine but I'm not sure.
Yep, it definitely can. Other activities such as horseback riding, bike riding, stretching a lot, and masterbation can also cause your hymen to break.
This is actually a pretty common way for this to happen to girls, it's just usually overlooked, because they're assuming they're just going through their periods.
XOXO
KAT.
For some reason, I can't cry at funerals because I just don't cry that often.
But I was wondering if this was bad or heartless? Because once my cousin got mad at me because I wasn't crying at her dad's funeral and it makes me feel awful that I can't cry during these times.
Are there any other ways to display emotion, if not in tear-form?
First, I'm sorry for your cousin's loss. However, it's not your fault if you can't cry at the drop of a hat or anything. She was probably upset at the circumstances already, and the fact that you weren't showing the same emotion probably seemed very strange/cold to her. She probably just didn't understand that you don't cry much.
Some people don't cry over ANYTHING. It's a fairly natural thing, and it's just as normal as people who cry too much, really. Just know that it's not your fault. It's just the way you are. It's not 'bad' or 'heartless' at all. It's not like you felt GOOD about the funeral or anything.
If you'd still like to display your emotion, just be very solemn. If you have to, keep your head down, and look discoraged if need be. However, you don't HAVE to make yourself look completely depressed. If something bad is going on, try to take care of the people around you. Since you seem to be a very strong person, talk to others about how they're feeling, and see if there's anything you can do to help.
Also, say how you're feeling. It's not as common anymore, but there's nothing at all wrong with it. Most people would prefer someone to say how they're feeling than to have to figure it out through their display of emotions.
You're fine the way you are, so don't worry!
XOXO
KAT.
i like this guy but from what i tell you, can you guys give me your opinion if you think he likes me or not?
okay so we arranged a time to hang out (through texting) and then we hung out. while we were hanging out he would always try to be near me and when i would leave the group he would tell me to come back. i was basically with him the whole night. he told alot of his secrets and like..important things and lots about his family and stuff. and when he left our hug was really long and he kinda like held me. ok by reading this your probably gunna think he likes me but then he did stuff like burp in front of me and fall alot and i remeber reading something that if a guy burps in front of you its a sign that he doesn't like you like that...can you guys tell me what you think? also if you do think he likes me, (we've only hung out twice) when do you think he'll make a move? like how long does it take for guys to be ready or whatever? thankss
im 17/f by the way.
I personally think it sounds like he's into you. I've never heard that a guy burping in front of you meant he didn't like you? From my experience, it just means he's very comfortable with you--Which isn't really a bad thing at all. Also, falling down could mean he's just kind of clumsy, haha.
The fact that he's always around you, tells you his secrets, and seems to hold you a lot definitely makes it sound like he likes you a lot. While it's normal to be close friends with a guy, it usually dosen't go to this level. Sure, he could just be confiding in you, but long hugs and everything aren't really required for that.
If you feel like you're into him, kind of hint at it, because it sounds like it could end pretty well, in this case. There's no saying when he'll make a move exactly, because he might not know how you feel. It sounds like you WANT him to make a move though, so just consider this:
He's probably really nervous about whether or not you feel the same. He might not even make a move until he can be more sure. He could especially feel nervous because he might not want to mess your friendship up. Try to make the way you feel pretty clear. Drop hints, and act flirty if you need to! One thing you could try is to play around and grab his hand somehow. See how long he goes before pulling away, or if he even pulls away at all. It comes off as very innocent if he DOES pull away, and you can always make an excuse for why you didn't first, but it could always be that he dosen't pull away and you guys end up holding hands. (:
Basically, put yourself out there. Try to hang out more, and see how you two are together. Guys don't really have a specific 'time' that they're ready--Some guys never figure it out, and the girls are left to make the first move. It all depends on his personality, I suppose.
Best of luck, and I hope things work out the way you want them to. :D
XOXO
KAT.
so i know this sounds like i\'m being totally used but i really don\'t think i am. so just read this.
i met a guy online he\'s 22 and i\'m 17. we talked online for a few weeks and then i gave him my number and we talked like all the time for a few months. the whole time he was talking about how he wanted to meet me but i was like i don't know. eventually i agreed to meet him and he picked me up and brought me to his house.. not very smart on my part i know but nothing bad happened.
since then we've had sex and its very good but i feel really guilty since he's older and i don't think thats legal and if my dad found out he would kill me. ive tried to tell him that i don't think we should talk anymore but every time i do i'll go a few days without talking to him and it's like unbareable.
so yeah but thats not the biggest problem. he says he loves me and i know that most guys his age have bad intentions with girls my age but he\'s put up with so much from me that i really think he means it. and isn\'t just like using me for sex because i\'m the one who made the first move even tho he was probably thinking about it. he says he loves me and i\'m the most perfect girl he\'s ever met and that he wants to stay with me forever and have kids and blah blah blah....
i don\'t know.. i mean i like him and he's always really sweet to me and i think he's attractive but i don\'t think i love him... and i know i don\'t want to marry him and he's talked about it some and i\'m like woah. so basically what i\'m looking for is any opinions on my situation. like what i should do or what you think or whatever.
First, make sure you're VERY careful if you guys are still hooking up! It may be consensual, but he could still get in a ton of trouble for that, depending on what the law is for minors in your state.
He sounds like a really sweet guy, in my opinion. However, some girls are a little uncomfortable with that, or he could be moving a little too quickly emotionally. It sounds like he's moving a TON faster than you are. It may have to do with him being older, but then again, everyone's different aswell.
Just make sure he knows how you feel! It's not fair to him to just kind of be like "Okay.." With no reasoning, or to have him believe that you feel the same way, because his feelings will only go further. Be straightforward, and tell him that you think he's moving a little quickly. If he actually loves you, he'll be willing to slow down, and give you time to fall for him aswell. You could always try to hint at it, but there's no guarentee that he'll understand what you're getting at/you'll cover everything. Just have one time set aside for a conversation to get EVERYTHING out. It makes everything a lot easier.
After this, ask yourself some questions. How was his reaction? Can you see yourself in love with him in the future? Would you be able to go without him? Will things get better? Etc. If your answers seem positive, try to stick it out. If you're unsure of things however, ask to take a little bit of a break. Just make sure he gets a say in things, so that it's all fair and everything, since he seems to really be into you!
Good luck, and I really hope things work out for you!
XOXO
KAT!
what exactly does it mean when someone says 'me and _____ are sex on legs'? haha sorry, random question
It's basically like saying sex in a physical form. AKA, very hot. Haha. It's like saying someone is like, the definition of sex, in a way. :P
XOXO
KAT.
hey
at my school my friends made up these nicknames that are guys names for all the girls in my class it was fun for a while until they dropped it but my nickname(timmy) stuck with me and i don't like it but they have gotten so used to calling me timmy one of them even forgot my real name!and because im a girl with a guys name apparently that makes me a he she. so now most people at my school who know me know me by the name of timmy. and no one would dance with me at the school dance we had on our overnight trip. well only one girl danced wwith another guy but still.what should i do.
plz help me
timmy494
First, the people sound a TAD immature. If they're calling you a he-she because your nickname is Timmy, that's just really lame. I know a lot of girls with guy nicknames, and it's really no problem for them.
However, if this nick name is really bothering you, when someone calls you Timmy, just tell them your real name! Either that, or just ask them "But do you know my REAL name?" It'll sound like a joke, but they'll probably get it. You could also start it by asking your close friends not to call you that. I'm sure they won't mind, just be straightforward and blunt about it. Say that you don't want to be called that anymore, and when people see your friends calling you by your real name, they'll begin to do the same.
Also, I'm not sure that someone wouldn't dance with you because of your nickname. If that IS the case, it's very shallow of them, so don't let it get to you!
XOXO
KAT.
so i have this summer assignment that says i have to pick FIVE IMPORTANT current issues, and describe them and give my oppinion. i've thought of issues such as the economy and gas prices, but i need 3 more and of course there all those issues out there such as abortion, alchohol, drugs, animal rights, global warming, etc etc...these issues have always been around and im not sure if they can be described as important CURRENT issues...so my question is what are some important issues to discuss that are happening right now. oh and please anything but the 2008 election because weve been told not to use it...
THANKS =]
Um, only a few come to mind for me, but they're kind of interesting, so you would be able to give good reviews/opinions.
1. Body image among people. (Considering anorexia and bulimia have become very large issues.)
2. The alarming rate at which depression is occuring at younger and younger ages. Studies show that kids, as the years go by, are becoming depressed and stressed at younger ages. Something else could be suicide?
3. The increased divorce rate. Look into why it's happening, and whether it's a problem or not.
4. Invisible children (aka what's going on in Uganda, with child soldiers). Invisible Children is actually a great program to look into!
5. Child slaves in other countries, as well as the United States who are being bought and sold for both work and sex.
6. The young pregnancy rate.
7. Immigration issues (example--Mexico/America).
8. Should places be allowed to have WMDs? (Weapons of Mass Destruction)
9. Should we actually be in Iraq, and should other countries have the same rights to do what we've done there?
10. Where should our tax money be spent?
Hope this helps a little.
XOXO
KAT.
okay so i have a boyfriend. me and his best friend(eric) are really close and he likes me and i like him. my boyfriend is out of town. so me and eric are hanging out one night and we have an inside joke that at 11 each night we will have sexy time.last night we kinda had it. we were in his bed and we would take turns taking off clothes. he was in his boxers and i stole his shirt so i had everything but my bra on.he undid my bra. is this cheating?
Well, maybe you weren't kissing or anything else, but whether it's cheating or not, does it really seem right? Cheating could have so many definitions, but in my opinion, it's doing things with other people that you SHOULD only be doing with your boyfriend/girlfriend. I mean, would you like to hear about him doing this with your best friend?
And even if you guys didn't physically do anything, if you were to continue some other time, where do you think it would go? Getting undressed obviously leads to things. It's pretty rare to hear about something getting undressed just innocently sitting there. And even if that were the case, how would it really sound to your boyfriend? Not too great at all.
My advice would be that, if you care about you boyfriend at all, you'll let him know what happened. It could complicate things quite a bit, but honesty is definitely the best policy here. You should be able to be up front with him, and it'd be better for him to hear about it from you, rather than his best friend/someone who heard about it otherwise. Also, I'd recommend to obviously stop 'sexy time', in person at least. Let his friend know that that was kind of wrong on both of your parts. Also, you might want to tell the best friend that he should talk to your boyfriend. If he dosen't have the guts to actually tell him what happened, it could lead to a fight or something of that nature.
It's only really fair to let your boyfriend know what happened.
However, if you feel like you don't want to be with your boyfriend anymore, let him know that. You said you liked his best friend, and the feeling was mutual? Do you plan on taking that anywhere, and would it be worth it for you to lose your boyfriend and for him to lose his best friend? Think about it, and talk things over with the best friend. It sounds like you guys might end up getting together eventually, so you need to be mutual about deciding what to do.
XOXO
KAT.
So, when I was younger, I wasn't really attractive. I had glasses and what not. When I was in 5th - 7th grade I never went a week with out a boyfriend.It is sad. I lived at apartments. I got asked to have sex a lott. But i never did. I am going into freshmen year now and I am still a virgin. I have to say I am good looking now. I get comments from guys more than like 20 times a day on how hot I am. I get asked to have sex at a minimum of 3 times a day. I am still a virgin but don't want to be. But I don't really want to have a like 1 night stand with a friend.
I was dating somebody last year, but it was a secretive relationship. He wanted to have sex and I said no. I really regret it. Cause all the people that I like are experienced and I'm not. So I don't want to be having sex or getting fingered or anything with my friends when I'm still a virgin.
But I really want to have sex and stuff with them, but it is embarrassing.
I really need advice!!
Pleaseeee help me!!
It may seem great to get all of these compliments/offers and everything, and it's probably doing wonders for your confidence, but really think about what you're asking here. It sounds like you're really set in the looks/sex appeal department, but is that all these guys are looking at? Remember, this is only skin deep, and if you give into one of these guys, you could regret it later. At this rate, anything that would happen would probably end up being that One Night Stand you don't want, or turning into Friends With Benefits (Which seems great and all, but it NEVER ends well!).
When you said no in this Secretive Relationship, I'd guess you were like, thirteen years old? I'd commend you for saying no! The people around you may be experienced, but at what costs? How long do you think they're going to last with the people they're with? And even if you're not looking for a long relationship, there's always the risk of STDs/pregnancy/having your reputation ruined. It may seem like EVERYBODY'S hooking up and everything else, but it's really not true. Not all teens are sexually active, it could just be that most of the teens around you are. There's absolutely nothing wrong with abstinence, and more teens than you think are practicing it. Also, there's no reason you should have regretted saying no. You were young, and made the right choice.
You COULD just give in and hook up with random kids, or even friends, but will you go on feeling right about it? More than likely, you'll probably regret it eventually. Your virginity is something VERY special, and hooking up with someone you don't really have feelings for takes away from the emotional side of sex. It's great as a physical thing, but it's also something you should be able to do when you love someone, to show them just how much they mean, not "Oh, I want to make you feel good."
Honestly, there's nothing you should be embarrassed about because you're a virgin. Sure your friends could mess with you about it, but are you really going to do something because everyone else is? That's like when people make fun of each other because they don't drink/smoke. Sure, it seems like A LOT of people are doing it, but the people doing in are also taking away from the experience when they come of age, making great risks that could end up harming them, and are overall being a tad immature trying to pressure others into doing what they are.
Maybe you FEEL like you want to have sex with these guys--That's natural at your age, but take my word, you could end up regretting it. It sounds ilke the guys around you are only looking at you because you're 'hot', and nothing else. You should look for a guy who really sees how special you actually are! Give it a little time, and you'll find that guy. Or at least a guy who sees you on a better level than 'just hot'.
Honestly, it adds to your sex appeal in a way to not do anything with these guys, just FYI. It's something they can't have, and they'll know they have to try harder. And really, this is a really difficult issue, don't just give yourself away because of pressure, please!
XOXO
KAT.
So I lived at apartments. And I would always hang out with this kid and I liked him but I was scared to ask him out, so i never did. We both moved out of the apartments. And I havent talk to him in like two years. I found his myspace like a week ago and we have been talking a lot. and I found out that he liked me. And I'm starting to like him all over again.
but there is this girl. She is a year younger than me. I use to be friends with her. But i got into the BIGGEST fight with her so now we hate eachother. And she does anything to find drama with anybody, especially me.
And she is friends with this kid i like. And she has been making up stuff about me and telling it to him. And when she told him this stuff he kinda stopped talking to me.
I dont know if he doesnt like me or what.
I need help cause I'm so confused!!
PLEASEEEEE help me!!!
Don't let anyone get in your way of what you want! I'm really sorry someone's found a way to complicate things for you, especially in this immature sense.
I'm assuming she said something especially bad about you if this guy who liked you has stopped talking to you. I can't be sure as to whether or not he still likes you, that's something you'd have to talk to him about. However, I DO know that you NEED to talk to him anyway.
Ask him straight out what the girl said about you. Make sure you're mature and calm about it, so that you don't seem hostile or aggressive or anything, which would probably discourage him from talking to you. If you're too nervous to do it in person, go for it over MySpace. Let him know that it's bothering you that you're not talking, and make sure you say everything you need to say. It would really suck having a big confrontation and then just leaving something out.
Once you find out what this girl said about you, explain yourself if it was true, and explain why she's acting this way if it's not. Let him know you really care about him, and that you hope this girl dosen't get in the way of anything, because you really value his friendship and everything. Also, make sure to let him know he should let YOU know if anything else is said about you.
If you're really rational, and he's well.. rational at all, he'll listen to you and everything should be fine. Assuming he's mature, this gossip will mean nothing, and everything will be fine.
If you're too angry to confront this girl maturely, just ignore him for now. What she's doing is very petty, and any kind of retaliation would just bring you down to her level and make you look bad. If you think you can handle actually talking, just let her know that you don't want to fight, and that both of you should just be mature and stay out of each other's way. Try to work things out with her if you're really interested in this guy, because it will make things a TON easier on you. If you can't, like I said just ignore her for now.
XOXO
KAT.
i've been having many dreams of being pregnant, does anyone know what that could mean?
Remember, dreams don't always directly represent what's happening. If you're really concerned about it, you can check out some books that explain what certain parts of dreams actually mean. Being pregnant usually means a new beginning, or a very large part of your life changing in some way.
Either this, or you could be thinking a lot about being pregnant lately. Once you have one dream about it, and think about it a little, it's possible that those thoughts could inspire a new dream. Either that, or you could be thinking about big changes happening. Or perhaps you've been thinking a lot about your future?
I'd say not to worry about anything. There's nothing that can DEFINITELY say where your dreams are coming from. Most of the times they're completely random, or come from underlaying thoughts.
XOXO
KAT.