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is not Crying at a Funeral a Bad Thing?
For some reason, I can't cry at funerals because I just don't cry that often.
But I was wondering if this was bad or heartless? Because once my cousin got mad at me because I wasn't crying at her dad's funeral and it makes me feel awful that I can't cry during these times.
Are there any other ways to display emotion, if not in tear-form?
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Just because you didn't cry doesnt make you a bad person. In fact, asking this question only shows that you are a good, caring person!
I guess you could avode eyecontact with people and seem depresed. But honestly, you shouldn't feel bad. You didn't do anything wrong, like I said: not crying doesnt make you a bad person.
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If you don't cry, spend a lot of time staring at the floor.
Failing to make eye contact and looking down will help people see that you are upset, and unhappy, without nesscarily crying.
Forgive your cousin and don't worry about what they said. They just lost thier father, and wasn't thinking quite straight. If you apoligize, don't bother saying 'I never cry.' they will only think you are lying. Say instead 'I never meant to hurt you.' or 'I was really in shock.' or 'I just don't know what to do when things are that terrible.' Those things are probably true, and will help a person know that you are feeling and connecting with them, even without tears.
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Some people just don't cry. Ever. You're totally normal.
Your cousin only got mad at you because she was already upset. It's not your fault. Reverse the situation, and you'd easily be getting mad at the lawn for being too green. Seriously, grieving does strange things to people.
Others have already given you good suggestion on how to display emotion, and just saying 'I am sorr for your loss' and offering a hug is enough compassion.
-LM
[16/f]
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First, I'm sorry for your cousin's loss. However, it's not your fault if you can't cry at the drop of a hat or anything. She was probably upset at the circumstances already, and the fact that you weren't showing the same emotion probably seemed very strange/cold to her. She probably just didn't understand that you don't cry much.
Some people don't cry over ANYTHING. It's a fairly natural thing, and it's just as normal as people who cry too much, really. Just know that it's not your fault. It's just the way you are. It's not 'bad' or 'heartless' at all. It's not like you felt GOOD about the funeral or anything.
If you'd still like to display your emotion, just be very solemn. If you have to, keep your head down, and look discoraged if need be. However, you don't HAVE to make yourself look completely depressed. If something bad is going on, try to take care of the people around you. Since you seem to be a very strong person, talk to others about how they're feeling, and see if there's anything you can do to help.
Also, say how you're feeling. It's not as common anymore, but there's nothing at all wrong with it. Most people would prefer someone to say how they're feeling than to have to figure it out through their display of emotions.
You're fine the way you are, so don't worry!
XOXO
KAT.
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Someone getting mad at you at their father's funeral is likely to be more about their own feelings of loss, as opposed to really being about you.
In reality, everyone deals with pain, loss, or confusion differently. If you're not a crier, you're not a crier. Only you will know how you really feel - and sometimes you may feel sad someone has died, without truly feeling devestated. However you feel is okay....and however you express it is okay, too.
I don't think you are heartless. If you were, I doubt you would have been worried enough about this to bother posting a question!
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Everyone displays emotion differently. Some people express emotions such as sadness or anger through aggression and violence, others suppress their feelings and try and ignore them and some do nothing at all. Just because you don't cry when you're sad doesn't mean that you're heartless or grieving any less.
If you're finding it difficult to express how you're feeling, try keeping a diary or scrapbook. Putting your emotions down on paper is a really good way of working things out in your head. Poetry and drawing/painting are also good ways of displaying emotion.
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