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Should I do it?
So, when I was younger, I wasn't really attractive. I had glasses and what not. When I was in 5th - 7th grade I never went a week with out a boyfriend.It is sad. I lived at apartments. I got asked to have sex a lott. But i never did. I am going into freshmen year now and I am still a virgin. I have to say I am good looking now. I get comments from guys more than like 20 times a day on how hot I am. I get asked to have sex at a minimum of 3 times a day. I am still a virgin but don't want to be. But I don't really want to have a like 1 night stand with a friend.
I was dating somebody last year, but it was a secretive relationship. He wanted to have sex and I said no. I really regret it. Cause all the people that I like are experienced and I'm not. So I don't want to be having sex or getting fingered or anything with my friends when I'm still a virgin.
But I really want to have sex and stuff with them, but it is embarrassing.
I really need advice!!
Pleaseeee help me!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
If you're NOT ready to have sex, then DON'T. It's such a simple thing to figure out. Just because people are interested in you sexually, doesn't mean you have to go and give up your virginity like it's nothing.
Don't just think about having sex, think of all the things that come with it. Are you ready to raise a baby? How about contract an STD? There's so much more involved with it than just "doing it".
Really think about what you're doing, and hopefully, you'll make the right choice.
-Laura. (16-f)
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It may seem great to get all of these compliments/offers and everything, and it's probably doing wonders for your confidence, but really think about what you're asking here. It sounds like you're really set in the looks/sex appeal department, but is that all these guys are looking at? Remember, this is only skin deep, and if you give into one of these guys, you could regret it later. At this rate, anything that would happen would probably end up being that One Night Stand you don't want, or turning into Friends With Benefits (Which seems great and all, but it NEVER ends well!).
When you said no in this Secretive Relationship, I'd guess you were like, thirteen years old? I'd commend you for saying no! The people around you may be experienced, but at what costs? How long do you think they're going to last with the people they're with? And even if you're not looking for a long relationship, there's always the risk of STDs/pregnancy/having your reputation ruined. It may seem like EVERYBODY'S hooking up and everything else, but it's really not true. Not all teens are sexually active, it could just be that most of the teens around you are. There's absolutely nothing wrong with abstinence, and more teens than you think are practicing it. Also, there's no reason you should have regretted saying no. You were young, and made the right choice.
You COULD just give in and hook up with random kids, or even friends, but will you go on feeling right about it? More than likely, you'll probably regret it eventually. Your virginity is something VERY special, and hooking up with someone you don't really have feelings for takes away from the emotional side of sex. It's great as a physical thing, but it's also something you should be able to do when you love someone, to show them just how much they mean, not "Oh, I want to make you feel good."
Honestly, there's nothing you should be embarrassed about because you're a virgin. Sure your friends could mess with you about it, but are you really going to do something because everyone else is? That's like when people make fun of each other because they don't drink/smoke. Sure, it seems like A LOT of people are doing it, but the people doing in are also taking away from the experience when they come of age, making great risks that could end up harming them, and are overall being a tad immature trying to pressure others into doing what they are.
Maybe you FEEL like you want to have sex with these guys--That's natural at your age, but take my word, you could end up regretting it. It sounds ilke the guys around you are only looking at you because you're 'hot', and nothing else. You should look for a guy who really sees how special you actually are! Give it a little time, and you'll find that guy. Or at least a guy who sees you on a better level than 'just hot'.
Honestly, it adds to your sex appeal in a way to not do anything with these guys, just FYI. It's something they can't have, and they'll know they have to try harder. And really, this is a really difficult issue, don't just give yourself away because of pressure, please!
XOXO
KAT.
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So let me get this straight.
Your wanting to have sex because everyone around you is having sex?
Your virginity is a very special thing, take advantage of that. Just because everyone else is having sex doesn't mean you have to.
Think of the advantages, and the disadvantages.
A-
Sure it feels good.
D-
If you get pregnant, are you willing to be able to support the child, mentally, financially, emotionally, and physically..
STD's, are EVERYWHERE! You don't have to be a whore to catch an STD. Your first time having sex, it is possible.
Look at a piece of chocolate. Imagine its your virginity. When you get married, would you rather give your loving husband, that WHOLE piece of chocolate, or just half, or a fourth.
Of course, I can't make the decision for you, you have to make it yourself. Goodluck.
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Should you have sex for the sake of having sex? Hmm, let me think about that one, sure why not, if everyone else is doing it, you should defiantly be a drone like everyone else. It's silly to be a leader and do things for the sake of right and wrong when you can just follow everyone else.
You should always get what you want at all costs, even if you screw up your life in the process. Being pregnant and popping out kids at your age is fun. You get lots of attention that way and you can always just give the babies away so you will have no responsibilities for them.
The Human Being is the combination of the Human animal and the spiritual Being. Why should you be any different from the majority of people out there that live their life satisfying the animal instead of controling it? You have urges, you should always appease them, sexual urges, the urge to eat what ever you want, the urge to kill, you should always appease your animal urges. Tell you what, the next guy you see that turns you on, just go up and say, "Hey do you want to F*ck me", hell just do that with every guy you meet, you'll have the time of your life, no matter how long it turns out to be.
Be well dear one, you are given many gifts in life, do not be in such a hurry to give them away. There are gift that should be earned.
Second response,
HAHAHAHA, your age is showing dear one, as well as your intelligence. Sarcasm totally escapes you and humor as well. There is no response to your question that differs from mine in any other way other then the angle that I chose to right it from. There are 4 responses here, yet mine is the only one you responded to, (as of writing this), I consider that a job well done.
I made you think about your stupid question and the total lack of any thought or brains going into it. Your anger, so obviously, stems from the truth you see in my writing, for no matter what you say, my words are true and come from what you so clearly wrote in your question.
I broke a decision I had made in even answering your question. I had decided to stop answering any questions other then personal ones and I'll tell you why: One, because so many of you here only come for confirmation of something you want to do that you know is wrong and rate those who don't give it to you badly. Two, so many like yourself don't give any where near enough information in your questions to give you good advice when you are truly seeking it. And three; I don't believe that even half of the questions on relationships and sex are real. I have answered 183 questions on this site since I started here and I have been rated 99 times, that's just over half. I believe that about half of the questions asked here are by some self appointed watch dog looking for that one in million pervert that will say, "come on little girl, I'll show you all about sex."
You have convinced me once again that I am wasting my time answering general forum questions, for there are too many of you shallow little girls and boys who don't have any interest in what anyone else has to say, unless of course it agrees with what you want to hear.
Though your response to me was profane and vulgar, showing how little your mind actually is, I will wish you the best and hope that someday you learn the difference between living life and experiencing life. But in truth, I have seen many of your kind in my time, I know the path you are going to follow. I wish you well.
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You know, this is a delicate subject that has only one answer yet everyone decides they must ask: only you can decide whether or not you want to have sex. I bet you that you already knew that was coming and I bet you that if you think a little bit more, you'll find an answer to your question.
In my personal opinion, I would say no to sex at such a young age. I know you probably don't want to be treated as a young person but truth be told, I believe in chastity and even if I didn't, I wouldn't want to have sex just because I was "embarrassed" at being a virgin. If I were you, I would hold off until you truly find that special someone, and when I say "truly find that special someone," I mean someone that means some importance to you. This doesn't mean pick a guy out there, make yourself believe he's a special someone, and have sex with him just so you can say, "Well, it was a special someone!" Get a boyfriend (not one of those guys asking for sex because in the end that's all they're going to want: sex and you're going to get hurt in the end) and see how it goes. If you two BOTH become comfortable and feel your have a trusting and loving relationship going on, then you can decide.
For now, however, I wouldn't have sex with any of those guys because it will end up as either a one night stand or a sex based relationship in which you're ultimately going to get hurt. Your reputation may be damaged and you may be more embarrassed than you are now. Besides, you're probably going to regret having sex with someone you don't love at such a young age later on in life.
It doesn't matter if you don't have sex right now and your virginity is nothing to be embarrassed of.
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