Gender: Female
Location: UK
Occupation: Temp
Age: 26
Member Since: September 3, 2005
Answers: 222
Last Update: March 4, 2008
Visitors: 14401
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My ex-boyfriend just recently broke up with me.And im tring 2 get over him bu t it really hard for me to get over him because now he got a girl friend but he still calling me what do i do? why do u think he still calling me for? is there something i can do to get over him?how can i stop thinking about him? am i really in love with him? (link)
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Hi There,
First off, I just wanted to let you know that I am so sorry to hear what happened. Ending a relationship is never an easy thing to do. Just about everyone has dealt with heartbreak at one time or another. It's difficult to get through the sadness that comes with a broken heart, but remember that you can get through this.
My advice to you would be to focus on letting yourself heal right now. I would suggest that you let yourself recover first before talking to your ex. If you were to talk to him now, and things didn't go the way you expected or wanted, the pain of that may just add to the pain that
you're already feeling right now. You could talk to him later if you wanted to, but for now, I think the best thing to do may be to take some time and focus on mending and strengthening your broken heart.
As I mentioned above, almost everyone has experienced heartbreak at one time or another. It hurts a lot, but the important thing is to be patient with yourself, and give
yourself time. There are several things that you may want to do to help lessen the pain a little.
First of all, share your feelings with someone. This can be a close friend, a family member, a trusted adult, anyone that you trust and feel comfortable with. You may find it helpful to talk things over with someone who knows what you're going through and can help you feel better.
This could mean sitting down with them and talking over all the things that you are feeling, or just having a good cry on their shoulder.
Second, make sure that you're taking good care of your health. A broken heart can be a very stressful thing. Make sure you don't let the rest of your body get broken down as well. Healthy food, plenty of sleep, and regular
exercise can be good ways to minimize stress and boost your self esteem.
Third, try and keep yourself busy. Sometimes this may be difficult to do, especially when you're coping with a broken heart, but it can be really helpful in keeping your mind off things. Watch a movie, go to a concert, hang out with your friends, or do other things that you enjoy. This
doesn't mean you shouldn't think about what happened. Working things through in your mind can often be very helpful. Just make sure you don't let it consume your life. Focus on other things as well, especially things you enjoy, and try to find happiness again.
Most importantly, give yourself time. It takes time for the pain and sadness to go away, but be patient with yourself. It may be a good idea for you to find a counselor or therapist to talk to about this, especially if you've already been dealing with this for four months now. You can tell the counselor as much as you want to,
and it will all be kept confidential. You can even get a close friend or family member to go with you to talk to the counselor if you don't want to go alone.
I sincerely hope that things will start looking up for you very soon. Be patient, give yourself time, and let the healing begin. Good luck, and take care! If you have any other questions, we're always here!!
Takecare
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I've been having a lot of trouble this year concentrating, and my grades are definetly reflecting it. Everytime i sit down to do my homework, something distracts me so i go and do that first, or i call that person, or go talk to people online. I always feel like everything is more important then my schoool work but i know its not. I end up going to bed so late doing all these things i get distracted by. Does anyone have any suggestions that could help me concentrate on my schoolwork and not all these other little things? (link)
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Hi There,
Under pressure, everyone has moments when they feel unable to cope, but sticking to a realistic revision plan will keep your confidence afloat. If you're charting your progress in this way, you're less likely to get intimidated by the workload and end up throwing your hands in the air.
Don't give up - packing it all in at this stage is basically the easy way out. Sure, it'll stop you feeling stressed, but think how you'll feel on the other side of the exams. If you think you'll look back with any sense of regret, then it has to be worth giving it your best shot.
Even if you don't get the grades you want, taking exams keeps your options open. You could retake, consider other courses, or look for work. Whatever your results, however, something's better than nothing.
If you think that you've failed...
Even if you did freak out in the exam hall, there's really no need to panic now. First of all, it's perfectly natural to feel some apprehension in the run-up to the results, and often people find their worst fears are unfounded.
But even if you don't make the grades you were hoping for, it's not the end of the world. Failing exams doesn't make you a failure in life. If anything it presents you with a range of options, one of which is retaking.
So once the results are out, talk things through with your form tutor or careers officer, and consider the best way forward. In the meantime, go out and have some fun!
Goodluck
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You know them free offer ad's where you have to hit something and then they say you get something free. Do they really work has anyone here ever tried them and they actually got a laptop, or ipod from them or are they just a scam ?
Thanks Alot. I'll rate 5's! (link)
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Hi there,
In my opinion its a scam
Takecare
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I was on Depo provera for 4 years - I stopped getting my shots about 8 months ago. I was having a period every 5 days for 3 days length. I had unprotected sex twice while I was on a "period" they have now stopped it has been 3 weeks since I have bled at all. My nipples are slightly sensitive but they have not darkened like they did when I was pregnant before. Is there a chance I could be pregnant? If so I would only be a couple of weeks pregnant , would symptoms be starting already? (link)
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Hi There,
Make an appointment to see your GP. They will ask you to take a urine test, with instant results. Whether you consider it to be good news or the last thing you need, your doctor can provide a listening ear and support if you need it.
Should you feel uncomfortable seeing a family doctor, you can ask to see another GP, and nobody will ask why. It's your right, after all.
This can be an effective Do-It-Yourself way of finding out if you're pregnant, though some can only be used when your period is at least two weeks late. You'll find a range of simple-to-use products on offer at your local chemist, all of which test for the presence of a telltale hormone in your urine that indicates whether or not you are pregnant.
Before you lock yourself away to test your urine, consider who you might turn to once you've got the results. Whether it comes as a shock, relief or a disappointment, it always helps to be able to talk about your feelings.
Take a urine sample to a chemist or health centre
Some pharmacists and health centres offer confidential testing. It's quick, with less chance of misinterpreting the results.
Think ahead: Consider bringing a trusted family member or friend for support.
If you are pregnant, you'll get all the support you need to find a way forward that feels right to you under the circumstances. They'll go through your options, and won't force you into making any decision. It really is down to you. Even if it means informing family, the counselor will help you every step of the way.
Best Wishes
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if i go to the gym will i only gain muscle or will i lose weight? how can i do both without looking TOO buff? (link)
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Hi There,
Different authorities have differing opinions on what makes someone 'fit'. The bottom line is this: if you're physically fit, you can do your chosen form of exercise without ending up completely exhausted. To do this you need: strength, endurance, speed, flexibility, and so on (see our glossary at the bottom for more details). To be good at a particular sport (also called motor fitness), you might also need quick reaction times, agility, balance, co-ordination, and power.
If you've decided to get fit, don't keep putting it off: procrastination is deadly. Then again, a little thought is needed first, rather than going at it hell for leather. People who go straight in without any knowledge or the right gear can earn some serious chafing and blisters, making them more likely to give up.
Most trainers suggest that you should start gradually and build up from there. If you're completely unfit or have had any illness or ongoing health problem, consult your doctor before starting an exercise regime. Exercise can improve many health conditions, but check first, in case you have something that needs temporary rest. Make sure you're wearing the right clothing and have the correct safety equipment if required.
Pick a form of exercise that you can do frequently and will enjoy. You can also mix up the types of exercise that you do, for all round body conditioning. Remember that getting fit can take several weeks or months. It's easy to get frustrated or give up, but hang in there. You should see some obvious results within six to eight weeks.
get your body used to frequent moderate levels of activity for the first four to six weeks. Your exercise should include stretching and a warm up, continuous aerobic activity, some toning exercises, and a warm down afterwards. To see benefits you need to do enough to increase your heart rate (to between 60 and 70% of its maximum) and make you breathe deeper.
increase your levels of activity slightly every couple of weeks. Your body is adapting to the exercise, so you need to push it slightly harder to keep getting results. Increase the length of your exercise sessions, or the intensity of them.
after about six months, the average person has reached a level of fitness that they're happy with, and decides to stick with their current level of exercise to maintain their fitness. If you're training for sport or competitions, you will probably need to push yourself for longer.
Agility: being able to go through a series of fast and powerful movements.
Balance: being able to control the position of the body either when moving or when still.
Cardio-respiratory endurance: how effective your heart and lungs are at getting oxygen and fuel around the body for movement, and how well your body uses them.
being able to integrate agility and balance, to move effectively.
the range of movements that you have in your joints.
how well your muscle fibres can repeatedly do the same actions without tiring. Sometimes called stamina.
your ability to make fast and controlled muscular contractions, in an explosive burst.
your ability to move a set distance in a certain time.
the maximum force that your muscles can produce by contracting against resistance. Someone who is very strong may appear fit, but could have very little stamina or flexibility.
Goodluck
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i don't know how it happens, but every time i'm close friends with guys, they get a crush on me. does this always happen to everybody or am i just doing somthing wrong? how am i supposed to act in order to eliminate this possibility? (link)
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Hi There,
Well you should be flattered that guys like you.
Takecare
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does it hurt to have sex the 1st time for girls?
will the guy leave you?
and im to scared to wear tampons so do you think it will hurt?
dont be a bitch.
i rate high (link)
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Hi There,
Knowing when the time feels right is a personal decision, whether you're in a relationship or up for something more casual.
So how can you be sure that you're ready? Whether Admittedly there's no one-size-fits-all when it comes to sex and relationships, but there are ways that you can feel more confident about the choices you make.
Sex is a choice. It is not a compulsory subject. Whoever you're with, it means any kind of sexual activity has to be a joint agreement - something you both consent to rather than something you are doing just because you feel you should.
Whatever your outlook or experience of sex, even if you're still a virgin, it's always wise to be prepared. Nobody will assume you're expecting sex. If anything, having a condom at the ready simply shows respect for yourself and whoever you might strike lucky with.
Not just with your mates, but the person you're thinking of sleeping with. The closer you are to each other, the easier it is to talk openly. Don't duck out of the conversation if sex is on the cards with someone new - if anything, it makes that chat more pressing.
Sex isn't just a physical act. A level of emotional intimacy and trust is involved whether you're in a long-term relationship or not. So be clear about your feelings and expectations, and negotiate boundaries. It won't guarantee that the sex will be mind-blowing, but it will minimise the chances of feeling let down and used later on.
There's no need to pretend you know it all, and if you're considering sex for the first time it's only natural to have questions. If those questions can't be addressed with your partner, put sex on hold and find out together. It's better to wait until you're ready, than to rush in and simply hope for the best.
All the best
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i have been dating wit this guy for 3 months.
and these 3 months have been beautiful, but so hard. Not only did i lose all my house privliges like cell phone and going out, but i was about to get sent to a broading school in a latin country. my parents want me to be happy and i know im love. it sounds quick but, this guy really helped me get through all these other problems. but he got me bigger ones. i know he loves me and has never felt this way over a female because all his friends tell me. his cousin who i now adore tells me all the time how he raves about me with his parents and close relations. but my mom is so against his piercesing. he says he love me but he wont try to have an aproval from my parents. so my question is should i leave him and find some who will make sacrafices for me?
thank you for reading this.
please help me.
thank you
Senorita Lopez (link)
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Hi There,
I do realize what a difficult situation this must be for you. All of us have to deal with the fact that unfortunately our parents are sometimes to hard on us, and too overprotective to a suffocating extent.
Sometimes, there is nothing in our hands to do except force a smile and nod in agreement to our parents and try to hold our tempers in check!
But the main thing is try not to give up on your boyfriend. If that's a bright spot in your life and he makes you happy, don't let go no matter what. You have fought too hard to give up now.
Try sharing with him your troubles with your parents. Talking with him, and having him being all supportive will help make you feel better.
Hopefully by time, your parents will grow more comfortable with the whole issue and they will relax and stop giving you a hard time. Remember that this is all new to them and they are probably not sure at all how to deal with the
situation. So give them time and hang in there. I'll pray for you that things get better soon for you.
Girl, believe me when I say that I understand! This is a tough situation, but like everything else, it can be workedthrough. I'm not going to sit here and tell you to talk toyour parents, because they sound just like mine, which means that they won't listen to you. I know this is tough,but if you truly are happy with your boyfriend, then it should all be worthwhile. Here is what you do... When things get hard, and your at that breaking point when you feel like no one understands and you just can't take it
anymore, stop and realize that even though your parents arestrict, they do love you. They are just beingoverprotective right now. Spend time with your boyfriend to remind you what you are fighting for.( Which is your relationship) And just think that in a couple of years youwill be older and your parents won't be able to tell you that you can't have a boyfriend. Don't worry about making the wrong choices. We all do that. Stay strong. When you mean piercings is it on his ear or all over his body?
Oh and by the way are you related to JLO as i'm a fan of hers?
Anyways takecare
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my parents ground me for the stupidest reasons. And im not a immature teenager who disagrees with everything because i KNOW when i mess up and I pay for it and I KNOW its fair. But I seriously cant take this. What can I say to them to make these groundings stop. I am a good kid with good grades and i never get into trouble, yet i get grounded more then anyone i know. (link)
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Hi There,
You know it's been a long time since you last had scabs on your knees and fish fingers for tea, but sometimes it's hard for parents to accept you're no longer a kid. Tensions can easily crop up when you're keen to enjoy the independence you deserve, but they still insist you're home by sunset.
It's tempting to think you can simply tell your parents that you're all grown up. The fact is you have to show it through your behaviour, and let them draw their own conclusions. It really boils down to a sense of responsibility, which means proving that you've earned the right to make your own decisions in life because you're capable of thinking things through.
It's easy to feel suffocated when surrounded by family. You've shared so much in life, and learned to relate to one another with no sense of hesitation or shyness. The upside means you tend to be honest with each other. The downside is that tempers can flare if you're feeling hemmed in.
That you're able to blow your stack with family is a sign that you're on familiar terms. In many ways, it's a healthy sign that problems can be sorted. The key is to draw on your communication skills to negotiate in advance, rather than doing your nut when things don't go your way. Sit down and identify common flashpoints together. By talking things through sensibly, you can agree on a way forward that doesn't end in slamming doors.
In a place of your own, you could eat breakfast wearing nothing but socks, whistle away on the loo with the door wide open, and enjoy a specialist film without any fear of being interrupted. In the family home, that kind of freedom is often hard to find, which can leave you feeling on edge.
Everyone has a right to some personal space, after all, so lead by example and show respect to the privacy of those around you. Also choose a good time to discuss the issue, and agree on some rules you can all live by.
Whether you've been seeing each other for a while, or it's someone you've just met and you're hoping to see them naked, bringing anyone back for a night of sheet action is often problematic. It isn't just the fact that family members are trying to get some shuteye in the neighbouring rooms. You could find resistance from parents who still think of sleepovers as something that involves bags of popcorn and a chick flick.
Forward planning is the key here. Just creeping up the stairs with someone on your arm doesn't say much for your sense of consideration. No matter how embarrassing a conversation might be, it's vital that you talk things through long before you get to this stage, and establish some rules. Even if they don't respond well at the beginning, stress that you're sussed about safer sex and leave it at that. It may not get instant results, but this show of maturity can only increase the chances that they'll relax about the issue over time.
Chances are most daughters can name an episode when a parent left them feeling speechless with shame. Then again, they can probably reel off plenty of incidents when your idiotic behaviour left them wishing the ground would swallow them whole.
individual, so aim to do the same with them. Even if there are aspects about their lifestyle/dress sense/behaviour that you find sad, it's healthy to respect their individuality. Make a big fuss and people will think it's you who has the problem not your parents.
Hope this helped
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What's it like to make out with someone? Because my boyfriend said he wants to make out with me. We've never kissed so is that all he means? I guess this is kind of a stupid question but please anser anyways. (link)
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Hi There,
Well kissing is just lip to lip and making out is putting each others tongue in your mouth
Hope this helped
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My bf didn't kiss me for a long time because he was nervous and didn't want to do anything wrong. We finally did, and it was great since I care about him but otherwise, I didn't really like it. I don't really know how to describe what I didn't like. He opens mouths mouth too much and it's slobbery and wet. Kind of passionate, but wiping off my mouth afterward is definetly not. It reminds he of getting licked by a dog or something. Yuck... I don't know what to do because we've kissed several times since that and they all seem the same. Should I say anything? I don't want to hurt his feelings because I know how scared he is of doing "wrong". Please help!!! I care about him so I don't want kissing, a display of affection, to be what gives us problems. That just seems silly to me. (link)
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Hi There,
Don't be afraid of your shyness, it's only natural to feel self-aware when it comes to something like kissing. And chances are this is what's holding your boyfriend back as well. You've been together for a long time, after all, and so if this feels like a natural step then it's important you let him know.
There are two ways for you to approach this. Firstly, you could try speaking up at a good time. If you're not happy about taking a direct approach, it's worth turning the question away from a 'snog me!' to mentioning it might be fun to explore a different kind of kiss. This way, you're stating a wish without putting him under pressure. If he's keen, you'll soon know about it.
Alternatively, however, you might find it's easier to simply expand your current kissing technique. If you're limited to a lip nuzzle, try gently probing with your tongue and just see how he responds. Hopefully, you'll get the snog you want in no time, and if not then use the opportunity to talk about your feelings for each other.
Sometimes, it can take a toe-curling moment such as this to establish honesty in a relationship. It's something that takes a little courage, but whatever happens you're guaranteed to look back knowing you did the right thing.
Goodluck
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Why is it that everyone focuses on the sex of a relationship before a relationship has even started, why do people judge each other on looks rather than personality? (link)
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Hi There,
The most important thing is to be honest with your feelings and see where they take you. Sexuality is no easy ride; you have a whole host of emotions to get a grip of, not to mention the physical side of things.
Virtually everyone will have feelings for someone of the same sex at some stage in their life, this does not mean they have to rush out and buy a rainbow sticker for their car. It is just a natural part of sexual development. However if these feelings are more frequent or long lasting then it may be more significant.
Don't rush into giving yourself a label and coming out in public though. This is a very personal thing and you probably want to be comfortable with your feelings before broadcasting to your world.
Unfortunately some people can't accept any other sexual orientation to their own as being normal. They are mistaken in their thinking, and you must remember that you are not doing anything wrong or immoral. However such prejudice can, understandably, be hard to take and you may be tempted to keep your sexuality quiet. While this may seem fine in the short term, do you really want to hide this side of you forever? Be true to yourself, you have every right to be comfortable with who you are.
Don't forget that it doesn't matter if you are gay, straight or bi.You don't have to change yourself or your social life just because you have a different sexual preference to the rest of your mates. Life can tick on as normal, however it may help you to read books or articles written by or about people who have gone through the same thing as you.
You may also want to join a club or society run by gay people for gay people, it will give you support of people who understand exactly what you are going through, and will be especially helpful if you feel uncomfortable discussing everything with your mates. Although it is worth remembering that you won't necessarily like every gay person you meet, just like you don't like every straight person you meet.
Hope this helped
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Does anyone know any good websites, chatrooms, and basically anything that might help me get in touch with someone with the same interests as I? I'm a 16 year old Asian, yeah pretty sick huh? oh wellz (link)
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Hi There,
Why is it sick that your 16 and asian? you shouldn't put your self down believe in yourself. So are you asian as in indian or other asian?. Well there are many wbsites such as just chat, yahoo, msn do a search and then there will be so many to choose from.
Goodluck
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I've been going out with my guy for 8 months. My mom likes him, but she's about the only one. The teachers at school all hate him because he's a little too goofy sometimes. They a seriously very hard on him for any little thing, but not with anyone else. Our classmates don't seem to like him either. He hangs with the boys but they aren't real friends. They're actually pretty cruel. My cousin, who is my best friend, doesn't like him either and she's never even met him. We talked on 3-way though. I get so made at her because she calls him ugly. How supportive of my "best friend". I don't know what my dad thinks. He's never met him but he hears a lot of what I tell mom about him. I think he just doesn't like me having a boyfriend. Anyway, sorry this is long. My point is, why doesn't anyone like my boyfriend? He's a really awesome person and we have so much in common. I love him so much but I feel like nobody else cares at all. It's depressing. (link)
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Hi There,
I do realize what a difficult situation this must be for you. All of us have to deal with the fact that unfortunately people are sometimes to hard on us, and too overprotective to a suffocating extent.
Sometimes, there is nothing in our hands to do except force a smile and nod in agreement to our parents and try to hold our tempers in check!
But the main thing is DO NOT give up on your boyfriend. If that's a bright spot in your life and he makes you happy, don't let go no matter what. You have fought too hard to give up now.
Try sharing with him your troubles with your friends etc. Talking with him, and having him being all supportive will help make you feel better.
Hopefully by time, your they will grow more comfortable with the whole issue and they will relax and stop giving you a hard time. Remember that this is all new to them and they are probably not sure at all how to deal with the
situation. So give them time and hang in there.
Girl, believe me when I say that I understand! This is a tough situation, but like everything else, it can be workedthrough. I'm not going to sit here and tell you to talk toyour who ever dislikes him, which means that they won't listen to you. I know this is tough,but if you truly are happy with your boyfriend, then it should all be worthwhile. Here is what you do... When
things get hard, and your at that breaking point when you feel like no one understands and you just can't take it anymore, stop and realize that. Spend time with your boyfriend to remind you what you are fighting for.( Which is your relationship) And just think that in a couple of years you. Don't worry about making the
wrong choices. We all do that. Stay strong.
Best of luck!
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I would just like to find out how my daughter and boyfriend can get help regarding there son (10months) getting injured at Nursery, burnt by boiling water on his hand and top part on arm(wrist).
This has caused a great deal of inconvienience to them taking time of work and travelling to the hospital to change dressing every 2nd day. This has also caused stress on my grandson and my daughter? (link)
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Hi There,
Well for this kind of help you are better off asking the hospital or your doctor.
I hope things will turn out ok for you soon
Takecare
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I got a g/f! Thanx 4 all ur support everyone! :D
But, 2 more questions, how do I keep her? How can I make her happy? (link)
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Hi There,
Communication is an essential part of any good relationship, but when you're under pressure because your circumstances crucial that you talk openly about your feelings.
Leaning on your friends in a time like this is a must. You may encounter disapproval, but your real mates will understand that if you're willing to overcome social boundaries then they should back you up too.
There's no denying that falling for someone forbidden can be a buzz. But you need to make sure you're clear about what you're getting out of it. Maybe you enjoy the thrill of taking risks or you like the reaction you get for being controversial? Ask yourself whether you're in to the person for who they are not for what they represent. If you're not, chances are it won't be lasting the full distance, no matter how strong the initial buzz is.
Please do not feel that i'm not happy for because I am but just do not get to wound up about it just be yourself and i'm sure you will be fine.
Best wishes
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So. I know gross but i think it is safe to say this is mostly populated with girls so you all in some way sometime in your life come into a problem simular to this.
So my boyfriend and I have been sexual active for 6 months and a month ago we stopped using condoms because it was comfortable for either him and or i. Sex without a condom was much more comfortable for both him and i. But I do not recomend it to anyone, use protection...Anyways after the first time we did that I got a urinary track infection, which i didnt go to the doctors for because it wasnt life threatning or anything. Anyways after a couple days it got worse, i was getting white discharge all the time when i used the rest room or when i was just walking around i felt leaking...about two weeks later it got worse, i was ichty down there every once and awhile and the white discharge increased and it started to get an oder. Well I douched and started taking care of myself as much as I could and it went away. While having the UTI i was still having sex but it didnt seem to bother it. Well today after intercourse he noticed thick white discharge on him and I on me. I smelled it but it didnt really have an oder at all and I was very confused, so i went to the restroom and whipped and noticed spotting of blood im suppose to start my period tomorrow so i just wrote it off to that and put a tampon in but when i took it out, it was completly dry not one thing on it. Well later last night we had sex again, but the thing is I orgasmed more than the first but I didnt have the thick white discharge this time...I thought that was kind of weird.
See I was thinking could it be, because we are having sex without a comdom and my body is just getting use to it. Or is it what my boyfriend said...that we dont have lube so he was rubbing me too much and maybe tearing me a little and that could be the reason but I dont know how it could be...
Im very confused. Please dont tell me to go see a doctor i cant afford to no health insurance and Im just wondering if it should be something to be totally freaked out on?
if you have any advice let me know. i will rate you very high...thank you for your time have a great day...and sorry if this grossed you out. (link)
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Hi There,
It is normal to have some vaginal discharge, because the vagina stays moist as part of its self-cleansing mechanism. Normal, moist discharge clears dead cells and bacteria from the vagina.
The amount of discharge varies depending on the woman and on the menstrual cycle. The consistency and amount of discharge can vary depending on the time of the month. The colour can also slightly change. Many women notice that in the week following a period there is hardly any discharge.
In regards to a woman's natural discharge, you can't stop it from happening, although some women prefer to wear panty liners to protect their underwear.
Normal discharge is generally clear or slightly milky in colour, and should not smell bad, therefore, it's possible you have an infection. To find out for sure, you can go to your local doctor. Try not to feel embarrassed about visiting your doctor about this, as they will deal with this sort of thing on a regular basis.
All the best
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The guy that I'm seeing is a real pig. He has a beer guy because he'll go out drinking all the time with his friends and down 12 beers. He farts all the time and has bad breath and body odor. He has red veigns on his nose from all his drinking. Also he dresses like he's thin, he'll wear tight jeans and t shirts but it looks ridicuous because he's about 30 pounds overweight.
It's really hard for me to get turned on by him. It's not just the way he looks sometimes he can be a real jerk. The last straw was when I phoned him on his cell on he told me to only phone him if it was after 6.
I want to dump him but I don't know how to go about it. Should I tell him that his appearance turns me off or would that be too mean? (link)
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Hi There,
Well there are a few options you could chooses from.
Face to Face
Upside: Shows respect, honesty, understanding. Good chance of staying friends, too.
Downside:Depending on the dumpee, you may be faced with tears or tantrums. They also might try and change your mind.
Over the phone
Upside: If you're lucky, you'll get the answer machine. No chance of being physically assaulted. You also won't have to see the sad, sad look in their eyes as you break the news.
Downside: If you were relying on the answer machine, there's always the chance they may pick up before you've finished. Also the problem of them shouting or weeping down the line.
By post
Upside: No chance of fluffing your words, or losing your bottle.
Downside: Letter can be shown to friends and used as evidence against you. Lengthens the whole process as you wait for them to receive your message.
By email
Upside: It's swift and sure, and there's no room for misinterpretation.
Downside: It's as cold and heartless as the technology itself. Also risk getting into an email dialogue about the whole thing.
By friend
Upside: All you have to do is relax and wait for your mate to deliver the news
Downside: You'll be classed as a coward until the day you die. Also could backfire if that so-called-friend of yours takes advantage of the situation. A sympathetic hug can lead to anything.
By ignoring the person altogether
Upside: Involves least amount of effort. Just a question of holding your nerve.
Downside: Again, you'll be labelled a coward. Creates most amount of grief and can go on for a long, long time. Just think how you would feel in their shoes.
By getting off with someone else
Upside: Sends out clear message.
Downside: There goes your credibility. You're risking a socially-humiliating situation and serious retribution from the ex.
So there are a few you could choose from so have a think and be brave
Goodluck
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So today I got this message from some random person. I called that number and I found out it was an adult. He started asking me for personal information and I told him fake stuff like my names this and that. Then he started saying I want to start a realationship with you and I just went crazy. I messaged him ssome really rude messages because I want them to leave me alone SO BADLY!!! It really pisses me off to know that I haave stalkers that might.. Who knows what???
Also, I think I know who those guys are. I have a guitar teacher and hes perverted and he loves me. (eew... hes 20 years older then me.)
So I think he gave my number to his friends.. UGh.. What jerks.. Any ideas on how to stop this?? I cant ignore them because they keep on messaging me. I told them that I will call the police if they don't shut up.
Oh and by the way I live in Indonesia where it's really dangerous to just walk outside. (link)
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Hi There,
Not all stalkers physically stake out their victims, looking shifty and vaguely unhinged. Any form of persistent harassment can bring fear into your life, from phone calls to unwanted visits and letters. Often the stalker can be someone you know, such as an ex lover or co-worker. They may be focused on a particular aspect of your life, but unaware that their behaviour is a threat to you.
Even so, you have every right to protect yourself and seek help in order to feel safe from harm. Here's how:
Get in touch with your local police: Don't worry if there isn't much to report - so long as you feel you're personal safety is at risk then your complaint will be taken seriously - and the sooner you speak up the easier it'll be for the cops to start building a case.
Start a diary, and record every incident in detail. Also think in terms of evidence, and be sure to get hold of anything that may prove you're being stalked - an answer machine tape with their voice on it, letters they may have sent, even video footage if you can - just don't put yourself in danger to collect it.
Inform friends, family and neighbours of the situation, so they can keep an eye out for you.
Check your home security. Be sure that every door and window in your place has locks, and all keys are accounted for.
Reconsider your daily routines: Try to vary your movements. The less predictable you are the harder it is for anyone to track you down.
Avoid being alone: You'll feel less vulnerable in company, while limiting the opportunity for weird and creepy people to make advances.
Stalker tactics
There are many complex reasons why someone becomes drawn to stalking. Every situation is unique, but whatever motives your personal-botherer may have, aim to keep all contact to a minimum. Any form of communication risks fuelling their conviction that their attention is justified. Even attempting to reason with them could make things worse, which is why the most effective thing you can do is notify the police and let them handle it. If at any time you think you're being followed, head for a public place immediately and call the police. You won't be wasting their time, even if it turns out to be a false alarm.
If you pick up a creepy call, try not to sound startled or alarmed. Simply put the receiver to one side, leave it like that for a couple of minutes before replacing it - that way the caller gets a taste of his/her own medicine without any encouragement from you.
Whether you're receiving threatening mail using letters cut from newspaper headlines, or fabulous gifts in a bid to buy your love, avoid the temptation to return to sender and hope that'll learn 'em. Instead, keep any correspondence/presents, and try not to handle too much as it could be useful as evidence.
Takecare
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I was just wondering what the different between kissing and making out is. Where is the line drawn? What is considered making out and what isn't? Is it something that is determined by you mouth or you hands or. . . ? That's always confused me so somebody please help! Thanks. (link)
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Hi There,
Well kissing is just lip to lip and making out is actually putting your tongue in eachothers mouth
Hope this helped
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