ccupcake07's advice column

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Q: so my best friend has a really nice family. well i thought she did...one night she was sleeping over and was like i hate my house. im sorry im always sleeping over and im like its fine. she told me that she was scared to tell me and made me promise not to tell anyone, and ik im breaking the promise but ive been sick about it all week, and she told me her dad was abusing her and her siblings. she has a 4 year old sister, 12 year old brother, and shes 14. her dad throws her stuff at her or against the wall and screams at her adn im scared for her. shes never been really hurt but what do i do to help her???? thanks ):

I would tell your parents and they will know what to do. I know you promised that you wouldn't say anything, but you need to do this for your friend. You need to find her help so she dosen't have to live like this. It will be for the better. Be brave. You can do it. Hope this helps!

Q: last night i went to a friends and my best friends boyfriend was there he cheated on her with me, i realy really regret it and im so worried shes going to find out. I feel so bad!!???

If i were you, i would just go ahead and tell her yourself. I admit, it will be really hard, but you need to tell her before her boyfriend does. She will think of you as a better friend if you tell her than keep it from her. Just say that you are really sorry and you understand if she can't be your friend still but say you hope you can stay friends and that you deeply regret it. Hope this helps! It will all work out in the end.

Q: One of my friends wants myself and 2 other girls to go to a concert this weekend for her birthday. However, there is a Christmas party at one of my mom's friends house that i go to every year the same day as this concert. I did not make a commitment to go to the christmas party but it was kind of a given that I would go considering i go every year. My best friend says she can't go to the concert without me because she has a curefew and would have no where to stay after if I didn't go ( the plan was to let all the girls stay at my house if I decide to go). I don't have a big interest in going to the concert however i feel the need to go now because if i don't go, my best friend will not be allowed to go and they all need a place to stay. I know i will not have a good time.. i'm just in one of those depressed moods i guess. Any advice on how to make it fun? I have not even heard of the band or the bands playing with the main one.

I would just go ahead and go to the Christmas party. You will have more fun and you won't have to spend money on a concert you really don't want to be at. Just tell your friends that you would rather do that and you are really sorry. If you don't want to say that, tell them your not feeling well, your parents won't let you have them over, etc. I would go to the party where i know i would have more fun. Hope this helps!

Q: why do girls always think guys use them for their boobs or hotness
i really hate when they say that i dont know why it just gets to me
and ivve read heaps of questions on this website about guys always using girls such as do guys always use girls for sex and stuff like that
how do we convince them that lots of us are normal sensitive people

Most guys really are like that. YOU might not be like that, but some girls have been with guys who are like that and they immediatly think all of them are. I can admit, there are some sweet sensitive guys out there who really do want a relationship, and that might be you. But, the thing is, a lot of girls have been treated badly so they believe every girl is like that. What you can do to convince them, is just act like yourself so they know that your not one of them. Hope this helps!

Q: Ok so this guy asked me out a couple days ago. We don't go to the same school but we know each other and stuff. We go to the same church. So we are going out now. But I saw him today but he didn't say anything to me. Like yesterday we sat next to each other and talked and stuff because we just started going out, I don't move fast. Well is that weird or something? I'm really nervous around him too. The thing is that he didn't talk to me at all. He looked at me alot but maybe he was nervous or something? Oh I'm 14/f. I know this is a weird question but if a guy first asks you out shouldn't he talk to you more? He was kind of busy and had to leave early with his parents but idk I'm really confused. Sorry if this was a dumb question or whatever but please help. Thanks!

He is probably shy or can't think of anything to say. Your right. Guys are supposed to come talk to you first, especially when you just started going out. Another thing is, it may be he is to immature to have a girlfriend. I don't mean that in a mean way at all. It's just that he might get to shy and nervous to even consider having a girlfriend. Give it a few more days and see what happens. Hope this helps! If you have any more questions about this, just message me!

Q: ok so about 2 weeks ago i got over my period, and today i, well i think i started it. usually the blood is more red and not so dark, but all day its been reallllly dark brown almost black/purple looking, and it looks like the texture of jelly on my tampons and wehn i wipe. is this my period? and why is it like this? its never been like this before.

It comes in all kinds of different types. It might be different every time for you. Just depends on your body type. It is nothing to worry about. Hope this helps!

Q: alright well to start of i'm 15, 5'3", female, and weigh about 145 pounds.
i really want to loose weight. i am currently a size 5 or 7 in jeans, in hollister jeans, and i want to go back to being 3 or even a 1 but thats just hopeful wishing. i am athletic, i play soccer just about year round, and participate the most in my P.E. class. i go to the gym maybe 3 times a week, but it differs.

my biggest problem is the way i eat. i have a really bad eating habbit. i eat alot, but just as much as any other 15 year old, but alot of the time its junk food. this is my usual diet on a school day.
poptart for breakfast + glass of milk
whatever school lunch is + chocolate milk (my lunch is at 1030 in the morning)
after school i usualy have some kind of snack, sometimes chicken nuggest, or cookie, or eggs or something.
and then whatever my mom makes for dinner.

its really bad and i've tried so many times to try to get into the habbit of eating better because i know once i start to do it and stick with it for awhile, i can stay with it and i know i can loose weight fast because i have a fast metablism. anyone know how i can start getting into a better habbit?

There are Special K drinks you can get at the grocery that come in all different flavors and they make you not hungry at all. It lasts either 3 or 4 hours and works every time. This will help you not eat as much. It keeps your mind on something else besides your growling tummy. Hope this helps!

Q: 15/F.

ive gotten into the habit of smoking weed ALOT. like i need it now, and ive told myself im going to quit but when i come around it i have to have it . But the other day, i was in p.e and i had to run a mile, i couldnt even get halfway i felt like i was going to pass out . i go up the stairs at school and i still get out of breath . is this normal? oh and where can you get the detox stuff? Thanks :]

Your addicted to it. You should try to stop. That is what's making you out of breath and it is very bad for your health. You can do it. Just get the support of your friends and family. Hope this helps!

Q: Okey, This guy I met 2 weeks back, Mike. His parents divorced when he was 2 so he went off to a boarding school,and since the past 2 years he's been living alone. He hasnt even felt what its like to have a family. He doesnt have any close friends (He calls whoever he knows aquaintances) He is really into books and uses dictionary terms when he's generally talking. But he is really poetic and treats me like a princess and is soooo..H.O.T!! Ok, he is somewhat like Noah, from 'The Notebook' if you've ever read Nicholas Sparks. I see myself falling for him. No,no I'm totally crazy for him. The problem is I'm a social butterfly whereas he doesnt even hang out with anyone. I feel if my friends would ever come to know about him, they would just die laughing at me. But I really like him. Can anyone please help me?
Thank you sooo much!!!
Love y'all...

I would go for it. I wouldn't care what my friends think. Just tell them and look serious when you tell them. If they start lauging, don't smile, and when they are done, tell them everything he does nice to you so they know what a great guy he is. Also, i would start hanging out with him and let him know that you like hanging out with him. :) Hope this helps!

Q: so i'm 16 turning 17 in like 2 weeks and i've come to the conclusion that i need a boyfriend. or just some kind of interaction with a guy in my life considering i've never had a real boyfriend or my first kiss. plus my junior prom is slowly but quickly approaching and i am completely unaware of what i am going to do. SO. since i have found that about 75% or more of the guys in my school are total idiots, i am willing to broaden my search to find a decent guy. however, i am not sure where to find this guy. where do cute, funny, smart, guys like to hang out? and how can i approach them? thank you! ;)

If i were you, i wouldn't rush things. Just let things happen how they all fall out. When you force something like that to happen, it won't work out. If you want to meet some cute guys though, the mall, the movies, and other hang out places in your city or town is where you can find them. Hope this helps and everything works out.

Q: honestly tell me if im fat,
raelly, if you say i am i wont get mad, but anyways if you did, i couldnt care less because i really want honest opinions.

http://s474.photobucket.com/albums/rr105/minamala11/

click both pics

No, you aren't fat at all. If you want to tone your abs you could do sit ups forward and sideways. Hope this helps.

Q: Things between my mother and I have been not so great for the entirety of my life. However, lately things have gotten extremely bad. At the start of summer I moved out, and when i moved back in things seemed a little better, because she knew I meant business and could leave. Then things were better for a while, but lately she's gone back to verbally abusing me, getting trashed every night and going on these upsetting tangents, so the other night I tried to commit suicide. I was rushed to the hospital and had my stomach pumped and am now staying with a friend. What should I do? I feel like i cannot go back, but now i won't have my car because my mom owns it, my jobs are all back where I live, and I don't know what to do. Help.

Aww! I'm so sorry about what your going through. Don't committ suicide though. That shouldn't be a resolution. You will hurt lots of people that way. More people care about you than you think.
About your mom, i would sit down with her and tell her exactly how you feel. If she keeps abusing you, then i would contact someone who could help with you. The protection agency or something of that nature. Just stay with your friend for the time being so you can get things straighned out. Hope this helps!

Q: I need to find a big purse

From anywhere

Color doesn't matter just it has to be big. It doesn't have to be designer.

Thanksss!

I know that buckle in the mall has really cute ones. Here is a website with an example of their purses.

http://www.buckle.com/product/product_detail.jsp?bmUID=1228167139171&prd=61180LEO9088&sku=2839520000&search=true&Ntt=purses&N=43

Hope this helps!

Q: Im a 13 year old girl and i havent had a boyfriend for a whole year! I like this on kid in my class alot but i just dont know how to get him to like me back. Any advice????

I would just go up and talk to him. If he is talking around you, then just jump into the convo and talk with them. Hope this helps!

Q: Two boys who are close friends both were hitting on me, but one asked me out and I said yes... and I don't know if I should have, and I'm having second thoughts that if I would've waited I might have had a chance with the other, and I might have been happier with him... should I tell the guy I'm with now that I don't know if I made the right decision? Or should I just go with it and forget that the other guy is even an option anymore?

I would tell the guy that your with your feelings about both him and the other guy so you can be completely open and one person dosen't end up getting hurt. Hope this helps!

Q: I have a question obviously, but I would really appreciate answers from people with experience.

Are guys all the same? Is the main goal of their life to have sex? I mean I see these guys and they're gorgeous, know they're gorgeous, and use it to their advantage to get EVERY girl possible. ARE THERE ANY THAT DON'T TRY TO GET WITH EVERY GIRL? THAT TRY TO FIND SOMEONE THEY LOVE? like real love, not lust.

-thanks for your help.

Not all of them are like that. You just have to find the right one. They will trick you into thinking they are all nice and sweet but really in the end they only want one thing. You can tell when a guy wants you for YOU or for something else. If he calls you beautiful, instead of sexy or hott. If he kisses you on the forehead instead of always on the lips. If he finds some way of touching you (without being sexual) just to see the way you feel and remember how his skin felt to yours. There's a lot of little hints you have to catch in the guys personality to figure him out. Hope this helps!

Q: 18/f
so i use to be close to this girl. but we went to different schools and we just...stopped talking for awhile. well then we hung out every now and then and then stopped talking again and lately she was asking what i was doing because she wanted to get together, and i was always busy. so last night i texted her and was like, what are you doing tomorrow night? we should go to dinner and she was like yeah!! and so then tonight i met up with her at a restaurant and we were catching up on everything, and i was like oh you got a new phone and she was like ya! here look, and she gave it to me. well i was looking at everything and i went to her texts and i saw that she was like talking about me to another friend (i use to talk to her too) and she was texting her about how i asked her to go to dinner out of no where, and how it's all awkward and the girl was like ask her about college and she was like well then what!! and she was like it's just awkward. i didn't think it was awkward at all and so when i saw that i was like wow i feel stupid now. she is talking about me to someone else, saying how it was random how i asked to go to dinner, and how it's all awkward (but it really wasn't?) and i told her like everything that was going on in my life, all my problems and everything i've been going through and now i was like okay..sweet. guess i can't trust anyone anymore? i just wanted to leave after that because i felt so stupid. i don't know what to do. am i stupid for feeling so dumb about this?

No, you aren't wrong for feeling that way. It's normal. I wouldn't take it personal though. Girls are like that all the time. They get worked up over stuff. I'm sure it was nothing in her terms. Maybe you could ask her, "Did you think last night was awkward at dinner?" Then tell her how you felt. You don't nesceraily have to tell her you saw her texts. Hope this helps!

Q: ok i have been like freaking lately because everyone says i have a big butt. and i dont want a big butt. but does that mean im fat? should i start dieting? i've tried but its reeealy hard lol :( im 16 and like 5 feet n 5 inches tall and weigh about 133 pounds. please tel me if you think i should start watching wat i eat oh and by the way im a athlete, a figure skater but i ahvent been skating that much and i keep eating alot so im worried im gunna gain alot of wieght and i realy dont want that to happen. :(

No, your not fat at all! You can go to this website and find out if your weight is fit for your body or not.

http://www.nhlbisupport.com/bmi/

Hope this helps!

Q: Seventeen.Female//bestfriend is Nineteen.Male
okay so ive known my bestfriend since i was born. Like literally he's been around that long. Now he's only been my bestfriend for like 2 years but he's always been here for me. Well, him and his ex girlfriend broke up like a month and a half ago and ive been helping him through it, which has been going good for him and whatever. Well he's recently started seeing this one girl who he seems to really be into. well im extremely happy for him because he's no longer depressed and whatever. Well this is where it gets tricky. He flips out on his ex-girlfriend all the time cause he thinks shes going to find someone else, well he's finding someone else so its not fair for her. Another thing, me and him just recently began fighting a lot over the dumbest things in the world. Well now he is refusing to talk to me, and ignores me when he's at my house which is retardedd. Well this girl he's recently trying to get with, is a big time partier and a druggie, well he doesn't like that stuff in a relationship and i know she is for a fact. And i think if i tell him he wont believe me and he'll think im jealous and not wanna talk to me for even longer. Us not talking is killing me because he's the only person i can trust. And if he doesn't find out the truth about this girl, i know he's going to end up getting hurt and i wont sit around and watch him get hurt again. He's too good to get hurt and he's been hurt too much already. I don't know what to do =/ Should i tell him about this girl? I dont knoww, any input on any of this. Anything would be absolutely amazing. Thank youuu.

I would tell him the truth. Even if he gets mad at you, he knows that he has been warned if he gets hurt by the girl. Also, if he finds out that you knew and didn't tell him, he would probably be upset so i would go ahead and tell him what you know. It will be better in the long run. Hope this helps!

Q: One of my really good guy friends came to visit me this weekend. We flirt a lot in general and we love to cuddle but that's just how we were. Well this time we were cuddling and we ended up kissing and then we went all the way and had sex. We ended up falling asleep together and doing some stuff in the morning and when he left we kissed each other goodbye, but now I don't really know what's going to happen. He and I have talked before in general (not specifically about us) and he's not very good at long distance relationships because of jealousy issues and I'm not really either. We still don't even know if we like each other that way or not...I mean, we're basically best friends and I have such strong feelings for him, but I didn't think either of us were sexually attracted/romantically attracted to the other person when I guess we both might be. He says just "give it time" and we'll come up with an answer, but I keep thinking about it! It's constantly on my mind. What should I do? Was it a mistake? Are we going to have problems?

Just wait and see what happens. You might not of thought that you were for eacother but you may be, i would just go with the flow and see what life brings you. Talk to him about it and what both want and "are" together. It will all work out. Hope this helps!

bio

Hey Everyone! I am on the computer a lot and if you and questions or concerns, you can send me a message here on advicenators and i will answer as quickley as possible. I give honest answers but am not to harsh on people. You can ask me any kind of question and i will answer it! Ask away! Thanks!