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karenR
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Just a couple of things which everyone should know..1) A love relationship is a TWO way thing, you BOTH have to be on the SAME page.. Communication is vital. FACT.
2) You don't need negative people in your life to bring you down, you get enough of that as it is. You need positive people, to raise you higher.. FACT.
3) Believe in yourself, if you start to, everyone else will. So focus on the good things, because that is what you will naturally flaunt.. Which makes everyone focus on the good things! TRUTH.
4) You only live once, so don't screw it up! Make the most of this ONE life! FACT.
5) Life's all about making mistakes, forgiving, letting go, falling in love, making friends, and best of all, LAUGHING OUT LOUD!! ;) Laughter IS the best medicine.. Trust me! ;) FACT.
Got some love life issues? Need a quick self-esteem boost? Confused in a relationship? .... Just ask Venzuela!
advice
I am a happily married 26 yr old lady. My husband and I are married 4 years as of today. My dilemma comes from us not having children yet. Both our parents are pretty much pushing us and nagging about "where are my grand babies?" I've told them we aren't stopping anything that it will happen when god lets it happen. Apparently that isn't good enough. I'm starting to get depressed now about it. Everything from us trying for 4 years to them nagging and then old family friends asking about it too, just makes me feel useless. I can't afford to go to a doctor to see why we haven't had children yet, so we are just going with god for now. Any other advice about it? I really wish someone could make me feel better, tell me a better way to deal with it or maybe someone knows something I don't. --Thanks
Well, I'm not too familiar with this topic but I've read up on some things like this.. Stress is a major factor, and it affects having a baby in some way, maybe a holiday for just the two of you could help, because you get to get away from the stress from family and friends, also your husband's sperm count could be low, he could try eating beans and lentils, as that increases one's sperm count. That's all i have.. Hope it helps.. :D
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hiiii my name is . . . welllll it shouldn't matter but i'm 15 years old . female . my boyfriend is 17 and well I want to do "it" with him but i'm very shy and I have lots of debates with myself. like I hate the way vaginas look lol . I don't know what to do if it hurts a lot . I won't be able to look him into his face . that's just how shy I am ! ! ! . & like I feel very insecure about the "odor" or "scent" of my vagina . because I never smelled anyone else's so like I don't know if it's wrong . I already went to the gynechologist (i probably spelled that hecka wrong) . she gave me medicine for bv bacterial somethin . & like I don't want to open my legs to him and get embarrassed :(
so please someone help me with some comforting and truthful words .
Honestly, you don't sound like you're ready for sex, with him or anyone. I hope he isn't forcing you into it either, and just because he is not a virgin doesn't mean you have to lose it too. If you feel insecure about being a virgin, it could be his influence indirectly. To conclude, you don't sound at all ready for sex. If you're going to have sex with someone, I believe it has to be meaningful and more than just sex, there's got to be some deep feelings and connections. You both have to be very comfortable with each other, where everything is in the open, where you can talk about anything and everything, and this includes looking him in the eye and saying this is sore or whatever during sex. It is quite a big decision as it is something you can't get back.. Once it is lost, it is lost forever. Don't let other things influence your decision etc.
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18/f
okay so there is this song by plies called "want it, need it" it's pretty much a sex song haha.
there is a part where it goes:
whenever she think about me she get so wet
whenever she wants it she sends me a text..
"DO YOU WANT IT TONIGHT"
baby yes.
soo i was just wondering. i'm like obsessed with this song it makes me..feeel goood lol. anyways if i sent "do you want it tonight" part to a guy
would it be like sexy or just stupid? i'm always
trying to think of ways to be hot about things and when i heard this song i was like OMGahhh. but then i wouldnt want the guy to be like want what? youu know. and then it would just ruin the whole thing!
Well make an introduction, say something like, 'do u know that song..' Give the title of the song and say 'by Plies'.. That way he knows what you're saying.. And in the same text you can ask him, 'do you want it tonight?'.. He'll get it then! Put a naughty smiley face or something..
i lost my virginity to my current boyfriend. we've been having sex since october 2007. we haven't done it like a lot but i think it shouldn't still hurt by now. he's not doing anything wrong really. i've tried being on top and it wasn't too bad but it still doesn't really feel good. it still hurts a lot when he's on top too. anything i can do?
Lubricate yourself.. Either with foreplay where he fingers you, which will help you get lubricated more, or he can just buy a condom with alot of lubrication. It works.. And if he hasn't gone all the way in, your hymen could still be in tact, check up at the doctor's if the lubricating condoms don't help..
Warning: This will get long. 14, Female.
When I look in the mirror, I hate what I see. I think I am one of the most disgusting looking people on this planet. The boys in my school don't make this any better either. One day during a class I was fixing my eye make up and my teacher was like "Don't do that in here, save that for you're time. You're pretty without the make up anyway." and on of the boys made a comment that really, really hurtful remark and still does to this day it hurts, which was "HA NO SHE'S NOT" That was one of the meanest comments I have ever recieved, and it makes me cry.
My best friend is commonly agreed as the prettiest girl in my grade, not just by us freshmen but by everyone else too! When I stand next to her, I feel so gross. I hate it, honestly I do. I used to cut and I'm trying so dearly hard to refrain from it, but each day the temptation gets harder and harder to resist. I know I'm skinny also, but I feel like an ogre to put it in simpliest terms. I feel like I'm overgrown and horribly fat. It's disgusting.
I'm on pills right now for controling Bi-Polar, and that makes me feel even worse about myself. Like I'm incredibly "fucked up" and I have to take some stupid pill to be a normal human being. It makes me cry at night. I can't help it though.
Anerexia and cutting never looked so good. I'm heading in the wrong direction and typing this had made me cry, showing how much it affects me. I sometimes wish I would die, and get it over with, so all the sadness will disappear. When I'm going to take my pills, sometimes I consider taking them all so it would all be over.
Please someone help, I'm loosing all hope in life, and I don't know what to do.
I can honestly say, you are going through a phase. And it is vital you get on the right path after this. You're absolutely right, cutting and going anorexic is not the way, and the fact that you realised you're heading the wrong way is a big thing. You have to praise yourself for that, it's not a little thing, we both know that! It's time you believe in it too! I know it's easy to talk and not do, but you have to help yourself. This 'fight', as you can call it, will only make you stronger. I'm glad you realise the wrongs and you want to get on the right track, some people don't or never see it! That's another thing worth praising!
Don't focus on the negative things, it will only pull you lower, and trust me,that isn't needed. I can safely say that those boys in your class, they are just immature and you shouldn't let that get to you, instead feel sorry for them. They want to make people feel terrible about themselves so they can feel better about THEMSELVES!
You've been fighting for 14 years, don't let this phase affect those years of fighting. Being a Bi-Polar patient isn't easy! Do you think you're being fair by just throwing everything away, think about the people that care for you, parents, friends, the people that matter! Don't focus on the jealous, immature and negative people, it's not worth it, and you know it! There are people in the world, where everyday of their life is some kind of 'life or death' situation!
And listen, you are who you are, face it and embrace it! Stop dwelling on the bad and the negative, and start focussing on the good things and the things you SHOULD be caring about! If you start to carry yourself in a positive way, then, everyone else will begin to notice it! You can't exactly expect people to see the good things in you, if you keep shoving the bad in their faces! Your friend is her OWN self, and she respects and loves herself for who she is, beauty isn't always all about looks! Sometimes your beautiful personality reflects through all, and the looks simply don't matter! That's a fact! How do you think girls out there, who aren't the best looking cope?! They get real with themselves and face the fact that, they are who they are, they are proud of themselves because they focus on the positive things, therefore allowing them to love and accept themselves. You harming yourself, does no good to anyone, especially yourself! Stop making yourself look ugly physically by cutting and going anorexic, it's your life, you only live once, might as well make the most out of it!
You're skinny, which is what most teens want to be, so love yourself for that! Hope you're actually slim through the healthy way and not just starving yourself or developing an eating disorder which will only make life more difficult! You know after cutting yourself the sadness only disappears for a second, and after that, everything is the same old thing! So you know it doesn't work, don't you want to put an end to this the real and proper way? It starts with re-building yourself in the INSIDE!
Remember, beauty starts from within, take care of yourself and love yourself, and people will do too! Looks aren't everything! Live life in the moment and just take things slowly.
I feel what you would need right now, is a good pampering! Go to a beauty parlour with some girlfriends and let the inner beauty be admired for a change, instead of having YOU judge everything about yourself for everyone! Get your eye-brows done, go for a mani and pedicure, go for a new haircut, and just focus on you looking refreshed! As this is the new you, the one that will stop paying ALL your attention to the bad and the negative, and realise you actually are a beautiful person! And the path you're heading is definitely not the right way, you said so yourself! ;) It's your life, no one can help you, you are the only one that can help yourself.. So do yourself a favour and pick yourself up! You're worth so much more than you're giving yourself, my dear..
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i actually have an account here at advicenators.but sometimes a girl can't figure out her own problems and needs help.so...im sixteen and almost 17...and iv been dating the same guy for almost 5 years.hes 18 and his name is khale.
uhm we havent been together the whole almost 5 years.iv dated other boys and hes dated other girls.but we always ended up back together.hes the first and only boy i have ever loved and im not sure what to do anymore.
hes recently been getting better...but be for in the past we always use to brake up then argue more then out of no where everything would be fine and we would get back together.
well recently i met this boy named julius and it turned out him and khale were bestfriends.me and this boy julius started talking and i kinda really started liking him but then khale sent me this long message over myspace saying take it slow with him.i dont doubt hes gonna hurt you.and i dont want him to hurt you because i hurt you enough.and right there tears were falling down my face and i had to drop everything and ask him back out and i did and he said yes.
some people say were not ment to be but come on after 5 years of still loving eachother i know we are.and so far so good this time is different.hes being nicer and treating me right.
after almost 5 years u still get butterflys when i see him and see fireworks when we kiss.
hes the only boy i wanna continue having sex with.and iv only done it with one other guy besides him.[no khale didnt take my virginity.]
but should i still continue are relationship?
After 5 years of your relationship with Khale not exactly working out, you should seriously reconsider giving him another chance. Sometimes, it really isn't meant to be, but you keep forcing it, you know?! So I suggest that, if it fails again, you should just accept the fact that he most probably will never change and move on. You are hurting yourself without you knowing, by sticking with Khale the whole time and not really giving the others a real chance, because you're still kind of hung up over Khale.
You might want to even consider the fact that Khale could just be one of those possessive type of guys without you realising it, he could just want you to himself and by saying all these things that will really touch you is the best way to keep you hooked on him. It could be for some selfish reasons. Maybe he just wants you to himsef?!
To conclude, if Khale messes up again, forget it, others need a chance with your beautiful soul, so give Julius a chance, you never know how good things could turn out to be if you don't give it a chance! And you're still young, it's unfair to tie yourself down to one guy. Do you know for a fact that he loves you, as much as you love him? And its not just infatuation!
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My ex and I broke up a few months ago. It was a horrible, messy breakup and we aren't speaking. We go to the same school and my friends are also his friends. I think he's over it, but I'm still extremely hurt and depressed. My friends & family are tired of hearing me talk about him, and I'm tired of thinking about him. We had a serious relationship for 2 years, and it's killing me it didn't work out. How do I get over this already? It's ruined friendships and has affected my school work.
You honestly have to move on, and the first way to do that is to accept how things have turned out. If you think about him, change your thoughts to something else. Go out more with your girlfriends, flirt with guys and just put yourself out there a little. With some girls, talking and flirting with another guy, or, allowing themselves to fall for another guy helps them get over their ex. So just play around and see what works for you. You have to come to terms with how it ended. I know it is really painful that the relationship didn't work out, but focus on the positive things, like maybe it was just time, or you guys grew apart, it does happen! And remember, good things fall apart, so great things can fall together! Don't be put off by your last relationship.
It's not fair to let en ex, someone from the PAST, affect your present and future, so explain your situation to your friends, and they should help you out. Get some friends to help you with school and the problems you have there!
Ask Venzuela
okay so i guess you could say i dont really like me life, not like in the whole i hate everyone suicide kinda way just that its like really .. boring? i wish my life could be so different, actually going out rather then sitting home for what feels like every single weekend.
so basically my question is how can i change things? Im 16 and i guess im shy. but just tell me anything i could do to change things, i mean literally anything and how to go about doing it
thanksssss
First of all, you could use a self-esteem boost, so go out with your friends and dress up and all, just look FAB! Have fun and come home.. Nothing too big or too much! But it will definitely make you feel like there is some variation in your life. Make friends and talk to people, don't be too shy. Communicate to people over msn or facebook, just be scialable! It will all come in the end!
Ask Venzuela
what some other stuff i can do other than make out with my bf. no hand job or blow job. like something romantic or something.
Well, make the kissing and making out more exciting, and unexpected, that is really what keeps it new and exciting! Just randomly, kiss him or something!
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im planning on having sex for the first time in a couple weeks, of course with my boyfriend of a year who i love very much. anyways i have my bellybutton pierced and i was just wondering if i should take it out while having sex? like could it interfere with anything, get caught on something? is there also anything else i should know other than it's going to hurt!! :|
Remove the piercing, just to be sure that nothing ruins the moment, either discomfort or attention. Well, besides the obvious, protection - condom. And ask him to go slow, for the first time. Have fun!
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Okay I haven't been dating my boyfriend tooo long but we are very close. I go to church with him and his family every Sunday. We go to the park and he plays with my son. He treats my son as if he was his child. He has this habbit of "scarying people" yelling out the window of the car, hes beeped at two people while i was driving (whom happened to be girls).. he tends to talk about "banging" celeberties and he will talk about his past relationships. when i had talked to him about it. he said hes a guy its not like hes going to go cheat on me. is it wrong for me to feel a little upset about it or do i feel this way because every guy i have dated previous has cheated on me??
It is definitely not wrong for you to get upset or annoyed. The reason a guy has his group of guy friends is to talk about such things, and not to their girlfrends. His 'reason', that he is a guy, is just an excuse! If all guys used that as a 'reason', I don't think women would ever consider men. It is totally inappropriate and rather immature! Nobody wants to hear their own boyfriend talk about getting dirty with another women! I suggest you lay it down, tell him you totally dislike his atitude, say what EXACTLY you don't like, being too vague doesn't realy help him. And those guys that you have dated, were a bunch of jerks, and did not deserve you. No one deserves to be cheated on, if someone is unhappy, they should talk about it, and either work on it, or not. A relationship is a dual thing, it's about TWO people, and if anything changes, the TWO people have to come to the conclusion. So talk to him about it, and let him know how you feel.
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Hi. 17/M
I want to ask girls out but there's just a voice at the back of my head that's constantly saying "Why would she ever want to go out with you?"
I'm a really funny guy and I can always make girls laugh, and I know that's a sign that they like you, but I still can't get rid of that damn voice. Where did it come from and how do I get rid of it!
Well, a confident guy definitely puts a girl in a spot where she actually considers you, a GOOD thing! So just boost yourself esteem a litle more, making girls laugh is a toal bonus. Find more things you're good at and focus on that... When that voice comes back again, you can answer it, you can say, "It is because,... I can make her laugh and not many guys can do that, so that's a bonus!" You can fill it in without whatever you're good at!
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Okay, so my brother has a friend who has a friend named Bobby. My name is Ashley. One day I needed money for lunch, so I went up to Bobby and said, "Can I borrow some lunch money." He said yes and just told me to give him back the change. Good. End of day. The next day I try to hand him the four dollars that I owe him and he won't take it, so I shove it into his locker. The next day I find the money back in my locker. The next few days go something like that. I start to like him, and he starts to like me. I told him to go to the football game that I cheer at and he did. The next day I give him a ballon with the four dollars in it. He greatly takes it and I thought that was it. Next day he comes to school with a cute present bag all girlied-up with the four dollars in it. Then I make brownies and put the money with them. Today he comes to school with a cake. He still hasn't made a "move."
Do you think he likes me? & What should I do to the money next?
Yes, he does like you. But just be patient, he will make a move. Why don't you two meet up after school or something, to get to know each other better. Looks like it will work out great!
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ok My ex boyfriend from 7 months ago started to reasntly talk to me. He was my first and he knows I still love him and how can I stop? I want to but I can't. Well today my friend got dumped and told me she was wishing they would get back together and I told her not to wish anymore because it was poitless and she knew it was because I have been wishing for me and my first to get back together. Well I texted him about it then was got into a fight. Then he said "I don't know why I was thinking about wasteing my time with you again"..Anyone know what that means? if it means he wants me back how do I get him back to that level? I am so confused on top of that a guy I have liked since last year hit on me today. He dated my cuz and I thought that he didnt like me but then today he help me and kissed my head. I dont want to move on from my first if he wants me back...but then again I am confused about if I really want him...and what if this other guy likes me...should I give him a shot??
I AM SO CONFUSED!
Firstly, you have to understand that it is over. What he meant when he said, "I don't know why I was thinking about wasting my time with you again!" Is that he WANTED to get back with you, but now it has changed, he doesn't want to be with you anymore. To me, he doesn't sound like he is worth you. So I suggest you give the other guy a shot, your first love had his chance and now it's only fair for another to have his. Plus, your ex's reaction isn't very positive, so it should teach him a lesson that you are worth more than he thinks.
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I realy like this boy who has just started university. He has been given my number and didnt get back to me. I asked his work colleague who said that he really likes me too, tht he is shy ( that makes two of us) and also that with him startin uni, he cannot commit himself at the moment as he has to buckle down. I really dont want to miss this chance with him but i understand about his studying . what do i do? any advice?
Well, you have to give him time. Don't give the impression that you are desperate or like you really like him, if he knows you like him, just keep it at that. If he finds you worth it and if he is worth your time, he will call you! So just be patient.. And because he is starting uni, he does need some space and time to himself, to work and all that sort of thing. Just give him time. The fact that you can wait for him when he couldn't commit, makes you the more irresistible and respected, this will show him that you are somethings special, as not many girls would wait.
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ok, well i need help writing an about me for myspace...
and i know i know, no one on here is going to know me as well as i know myself..
just, im really bad at wording things and i need clever ways to say stuff.
so, does anyone know a site i can go to that can help me with that
or anyone here could ask me some q's about myself and then they write one for me...
it would be soooo much appreciated.
Well, you don't want to display yourself ENTIRELY on a site! So just give the basic info, like what makes you YOU, in your own special way. And WHATEVER you write, is obviously what makes you YOU!
Ask Venzuela
so theres this guy i like. he likes me to. and i think we might go out. nd we will hang out, im sure. the thing is.... im nervous b/c ive only hooked up with one boy and what if im a bad kisser? or what if im bad at bj/hj? ppl say he wont care if he likes me. but how can i get better? i dont want to leave a bad impresion.
You shouldn't worry THAT much, and what people say is quite true! If he REALLY does like you, he'll help you, that is IF you are bad, and if you aren't, he hit the jackpot, now didn't he?
you have to have some self-confidence, for people to believe in you, you have to first!
Ask Venzuela
im 14 female, my ex hurt me soo bad not physically but i cried so much, we kissed before we wer even dating it was his first n my sober first :x even when id kiss his cheek saying bye or put my arm around him hed push me off but then he got mad that I kissed to softly
so now i have a new bf who is different then everyone and id give my life for him, hes ben threw it all with me, right when we met we fell for each other. ppl says were perfect and we talk about everything n anything, hes saved my life many times, im suicidal till i met him.. wev helped each other threw everything
but the question is i feel bad that wev been going out for a month n a half n we still havent even kissed, im just way to scared to get hurt again, he says its ok n he promises hed never hurt me, n i trust him, i trust him with my life il go as far as he wants but im to scared. were going very slow i just feel bad what can i do? im diein to kiss him n hes diein to kiss me. we get extremely close, like put our foreheads together n say i love u or fall asleep in each others arms, there just all so sweet n he is a real gentlemen n always knows what to say, n always says these cute lil things to me. What can I do back to him to show how much I love him? I think he deserves more than me but he says I deserve more than him. I love him n he knows me better than I do.
I just feel bad, although were going to soulfire in like half hour n he might come over tomarrow then Friday we have our homecomeing game then Saturday is homecoming, n we see eachother daily at school. Is there any other cute ways I could start a kiss? And what can I do to get over how much my ex hurt me so I can show the best guy in the world how much I truly love him?
I'm sorry about your last relationship! But, yes, you have to get over it and show this current boyfriend more. You are half way there, by realising that your ex wasn't anything close to right is a big step, and I congratualte you on that. With your current one, start by sending little messages to him, letting him know or reminding him that you do love him and you just need a little more time, but don't say you need a little more time everytime you message him. :) Just remind him that you are there for him too, a simple reminder does alot. Keep the communication strong, it will help you last even longer.
Well, if you want to kiss him, you can either start kissing him cheek, or, if you are too scared to do that, sometimes it is just easier to let him jump on it, as in make the first move and you go with the flow. It may be the best thing in a long time! :) You have to learn to let go, and it is unfair leaving him hanging, and you are lucky to have a guy understand that about you, and so, take your time, get your feelings straight and remeber that, one day or another, you are going to have to let go, might as well be now!
Ask Venzuela
Hi im Issabella.Im 16.Im a female,I hv a boyfren named Wong.There is this girl her name is Hanna, i really like her as a fren but my boyfren keeps spending more time with her not me......so im always heartbroken.....so i was wondering if i shd stay wit him or let him go??? Wat do u think??
Well, firstly, don't hurry into a decision too quickly. Talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you sometimes feel left out because he spends more time with Hanna! And you, as his girlfriend have the right to tell him that and feel that way. Talk to him before you jump to any conclusions, and then wait and see if there is any change. If there isn't, then maybe you are better off without him. Communication is always the way, and most relationships fail due to the lack of communication. Don't be one of them.
Ask Venzuela
Can you name for me someways to die. Like i am not going to kill myself or anything it's for a school paper and i am searching for ways you don't and do want to die or maybe so odd unthinkable thing that can kill you like running with the bulls, or other wild and crazy things like that.
Thanks.
Apparently, being bitten by some venomous snake, it makes you feel high and happy and then you die unexpectedly after the bite.
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