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about
Hi everyone! My pen name is Hannah and I am a 17-year-old girl. I like languages, friends, cats, and many other things. I really love giving advice, and I am studying psychology now. My favorite questions have to do with mental health. As I said above, I am taking psychology classes now, but I also do a lot of outside research, so chances are that if you say something to me about a disorder or anything like that, I will know what you are talking about. Although I am not a licensed psychologist, I hope to someday be one and I would love to get some practice here. Also, if you ever have a problem and you like my advice and would like to talk with me, I have many messenger services so I would be more than happy to set up a time to talk with you about whatever you need.
I hope to here from you soon!
advice
In French we have to make an acroustic poem using adjectives about ourself. The problem is I dont know any adjectives to desribe me that start with the letters of my name, Mary. I have adventureuse but thats about it. Can anyone show me where I can get a huge list of adjectives to choose from. Ive been through many google pages and couldnt find any... Any help would be apprieciated
Bonjour!
Here are a few sites with some adjectives:
http://www.enchantedlearning.com/languages/french/subjects/adjectives.shtml
http://www.projectgcse.co.uk/french/useadjectives.htm
Marveilleuse
Adventureuse/Aimable
Rousse (if you have red hair...)
I hope this was helpful to you. I tried to find adjectives with with a Y, but many people said that there aren't many, unless you want to say you are from Yugoslavia. Is it possible to use your middle or last name?
Hannah
I want to get a thong but my mom disaproves. how can i get one and not have her find out?
thanks---
It depends. Do you have a lisence? If you don't have one, then is your mother's birthday coming up? This way, you can go shopping and just pretend that it is her birthday present. Or, if you can stand to wait a little while, you can put it in a holiday shopping bag. You could go shopping with a friend or have your mom drop you off to buy presents for people. She's not allowed to look in the bag because some presents could be for her.
But remember that once you get one, it will still be hard to keep this from her. Do you do your own laundry? If you don't, you will need to start.
I think it is better to discuss this with your mom further, rather than try to hide it from her. If she finds out, she won't trust you and wonder what else you have done behind her back. Do you know why she disapproves thongs? Did you tell her why you wanted one? Try explaining to her that many girls find them more comfortable and you would like to get a pair, just to try them out.
Good luck! :)
What are some ways you can relax yourself from being too stressed out?
I like to listen to nature CDs. They are really relaxing, and you can listen to them before you go to bed to help you fall asleep, or you can listen to them anytime for relaxation.
You can also try this exercise. Lay down flat on your back. Tighten your face muscles and then relax them. Go until you have don't this to every muscle in your body. Repeat this two or three times. If you do this whole exercise at least 3 times a week, it will help you be less stressed.
Good luck! :)
Hannah
i don't know what's wrong with me, but for some reason i can't get a boyfriend.I'm 15/f and I haven't had one [or a kiss] in the LONGEST. im becoming more and more depressive and lonely as days go by. It kills me inside to have to watch couples everywhere, specially because i know its MY fault. i get "hollered" at A LOT even walking down the street, so i know its not because im ugly or anything.lately, i cant even hold ANYONE'S glance for more than 2 seconds. im also the least outgoing out of, well, basically everyone i meet, and everything depresses me. i dont know what to do to get over my stupid shyness and get a boyfriend despite my lack of motivation to do so. I bet people, including my own friends, think im lesbian or something. what do you guys think?
I had the exact same problem as you, so you aren't alone. I am very shy, and I had trouble even making friends.
First, it is very important that you don't measure your worth or your happiness by your relationship status. It isn't fair to you and you will make yourself feel worse.
Are you shy around everyone, or just boys that you like? If you are shy around everyone, practice raising your hand in class or inviting someone new to sit at your table during lunch. If you are just shy around boys you like, you can follow these steps. You can even follow them if you are shy around everyone, if you want to. :)
1.) Imagine yourself having a conversation with a boy you like. Imagine everything going well. Don't imagine any flaws.
2.) Try to have a conversation with a guy friend, a friend's boyfriend, or another boy that you aren't interested in. Talk about anything. This will give you confidence and it will show you that you can talk to guys.
3.) Have a conversation with a boy you like. Now that you have had the practice, you should be able to do this step with more ease.
Remember to have a positive attitude. Also, a good idea is to practice on boys while you are on vacation or away from home for another reason. If you get embarrassed, it won't matter much because you won't see the person again.
Don't worry, you are still young. You're 15. I know you want a boyfriend, but remember that there will be a lot of guys in the future, and they will come when you aren't looking. :) A new school year is starting up, so maybe a new boy will catch your eye.
I'm sorry if I don't have a lot of tips for you, but I didn't know how shy you are and who you are shy around. I didn't want to give too much information that wouldn't apply to you. If you have anymore questions or want more information, feel free to ask me. :)
Good luck,
Hannah
I had sex two weeks ago yesterday. My period starts on the 21...it's the 25th and I haven't had it..
You are not necessarily pregnant. Sometimes your periods are irregular for many reasons, such as stress. So don't worry yet. However, just to be on the safe side you should pick up a pregnancy test. You don't have to go anywhere special to get them. They are everywhere. I even saw them at a dollar store in the mall!
Good luck, please don't overreact yet. It could be just irregularity. If you have anymore questions, feel free to write to me. :)
Best wishes,
Hannah
I haven't had any longterm relationships but in 2 of my relationships I've cheated on the guy I was with. Last winter I cheated on someone and I told him how sorry I felt and then just broke it off with him and I've talked to him like twice since. And this summer I was with someone and I ended up deciding I didn't like him and then I cheated on him twice..with two different guys and broke up with him right afterward without telling him I cheated on him. I feel soooo horrible. I had been drinking all three times but there's no way I can give up drinking. I have been drinking a lot less lately but I'm just worried about my future. What if I cheat on my husband and it ruins my family and I have to have a messy divorce and screw up my kids?? Am I always going to be a cheater, even though I feel absolutely horrible??????
First congrats on drinking less! I'm sure you can give up drinking, you just need the right help. It is really important that you stop, and I'm sure you already know that it can mess up people's lives, so I'm not going to lecture you anymore on that.
Congratulations on another thing too! You have recognized that you have a problem and you want to fix it. That shows that you aren't a bad person.
I think the first thing you need to do when you want to begin a relationship is to make sure that you really do want to be with this person. A lot of times, cheating happens when you aren't happy with the relationship or you want more out of it. Try to get into a relationship that you feel will be fulfilling for you. Get out of it when you don't feel that it is like that anymore. Breaking up is always better than cheating, and it will hurt your partner a lot less in the end.
I don't believe in "once a cheater, always a cheater." You CAN change! You can! And you already took the first step. The next time you feel like cheating, think about how you felt the last time this happened, and how it would affect your partner if he found out.
Good luck, and if you have anymore questions, feel free to write back! :)
Best wishes,
Hannah
okay look i have a homegurl named sona and i been talkin to her boyfriend manuel alot like till 5:00 am frm 9:30 or erlier in the nite time does he really love her like he says he does does he like me to we talked bout how we cant do this to her but i feel a connection with him now what should i do
Since he is your friend's boyfriend, it wouldn't be right to act on your feelings. Imagine how hurt your friend would feel if she found out that you were with her boyfriend? If you act upon your feelings, you could lose your friend. Is this really that important to you?
Maybe if they break up, you could go out with him, but even then I would give it time because you friend might be hurt if she isn't over him.
I know that other people might give similar answers to mine, but that is because it is true. You shouldn't sacrifice your friendship to be with her boyfriend, no matter how you feel about him. And another thing, if he cheats on his girlfriend with you, then what will stop him from cheating on you?
Good luck! :)
Hannah
any tips on bad breath? you wake up one morning and you have bad breath [yeah yeah i know, BRUSH YOU TEETH] but what if someone talks to you when you barely woke up.... omg what are you suppose to do you dont want them semmeliing your stink breath... so yeah
oh any when you webcam yourself is it only gonna show you the picture or its gonna be able to hear you like talk and picture or just picture and need to buy a mic? thanks
srry about thee 2q's im an a hurry
They probably won't smell your bad breath unless they get really close to your mouth. But just in case, you could keep a package of tic-tacs by your bed so that if someone comes in to talk to you, you can just put a few in your mouth right away.
As for the webcam, I don't know what kind you have. I have one that is on my Mac. It doesn't have sound on it. However, if you use iMovie, you can get sound.
I don't know anything about any other webcams, so I'm sorry if that doesn't help you. :)
By the way, in the future you shouldn't put two questions in one form. You could get banned that way. If you have any questions about that, see the FAQ.
Good luck! :)
Hannah
Recently ive been thinking alot about death, and its nearly at a point where its uncontrollable.
i dont know why but im really afraid of whats going to happen in the afterlife, if there is one. ive made alot of mistakes in my life before, and i keep on thinking that will affect what will happen.
at night i often think about it and start crying.
i used to want to die because of personal issues, but now i want to keep on living forever.
someone please help me :( i feel really paranoid!!
I have had similar thoughts before, so maybe I can help you.
When I had this problem, I wasn't sure if there was an afterlife either, or if there was, what I believed about it. So I learned that the best way to go is to live life as if there is one, and just follow what you believe. This will make you feel safer. Just try to be a good person, but remember that everyone makes mistakes. So allow yourself to be forgiven.
I think that everyone has these thoughts at some part during thier lives, so don't worry that you are abnormal. Just try not to let it control your life. Concentrate on making your life something worth living. Do kind things for others, be courageous, be happy. That way, you will feel better about this issue because you will be living a fulfilled life.
Here is some more information that might help you. Remember that you aren't alone, everyone feels this way from time to time.
http://dealingwithfear.org/fear-of-death.htm
http://www.changethatsrightnow.com/fear-of-death.asp
http://www.stephen-knapp.com/dispelling_the_fear_of_death.htm
Feel better soon, and don't hesitate to write back if you need anymore help. :)
Best wishes,
Hannah
hello. I know that how i see myself and think of myself is never great. I want to feel better about myself, because i feel like whatever i have on the inside isnt ever good enough. Why do i think like this?? How can i feel more confidant about who i am? Or feel better about myself? You get what i mean right? i think i have low self esteem or low confidence.. and i dont want to look in the mirror anymore and feel this anymore. I want to be a better person. i know that im not ugly, i know that im a pretty girl.. but its whos underneath thats all broken i think and just lost.
Hi,
Everyone has times when they don't feel good about themselves. It happens to everyone, you just need to know how to make yourself feel better.
You said that you don't like looking in the mirror because it makes you feel worse. Stop looking in the mirror, or at least don't look at it for a long time. Don't give yourself a reason to make yourself feel worse.
Something that works for me is doing things that are hard for me. For example, I am really shy, so I try to talk to people or participate in class more. This helps me to feel better. Also, doing random acts of kindness also helps. One of the things I did was taping $1.00 to a soda machine with a note to take it and a smile card. (Smile cards are cards that you use when you do an act of kindness and you want the person who receives it to pass on the kindness.) You can get your own smile cards here:
http://www.helpothers.org/cards.php
The following site is like the smile card website, only it has cards to honor a loved one who passed away. You do random acts of kindness in their honor.
http://dying.about.com/gi/dynamic/offsite.htm?zi=1/XJ&sdn=dying&cdn=health&tm=3&f=10&su=p247.3.140.ip_p726.2.152.ip_p284.8.150.ip_&tt=6&bt=1&bts=1&zu=http%3A//www.missfoundation.org/kindness/index.html
Here is some more information that might help you be more confident:
http://ezinearticles.com/?Become-More-Self-Confident&id=10267
http://www.wikihow.com/Be-a-More-Confident-Teen
http://www.more-selfesteem.com/
I hope this helps you, and if you have anymore questions don't hesitate to ask!
-Hannah
hi ok so i am 16 female and i notice sometimes that it starts to smell down there. even when i am just like sitting on the couch or something. also, i cum a lot..like it leaves stains! it feels like i am on my period sometimes. its really sick. any ideas for both of these issues? oh and i dont want to have to buy things for this, just any ideas of things to do at home.? ok thank u
This sounds like a yeast infection or a bacterial infection. A yeast infection involves bad smells, itchiness, burning in the vaginal area, and thick, heavy discharge. Sometimes the discharge could be compared to Ricotta cheese. Other times it is yellow or clear.
You have to go to a doctor to get this confirmed because you could have a bacterial infection, and not a yeast infection. Just keep track of exactly what your symptoms are and how long you have been having them.
Good luck!
-Hannah
is it normal at night on the highway to see long rays of light of the same color shooting out of for example on the traffic light when it is green
I think it is normal, but it depends. I don't know if you wear contacts, but if you do wear them this happens when it is dark out. Your pupils get larger, and as a result you see through the little markings on the edge of your contacts. This produces the long rays of light. This can also happen if your contacts are dirty.
I also think this is normal even if you don't wear contacts, but you should see a doctor if you have any eye pain or signs of irritation, just to be on the safe side. If this is your only symptom, then you should be fine. :)
-Hannah
I have this like obsessive thing about someone like jumping our fence and like knocking on the back door. It freaks the hell out of me, and I turn on the alarm for the house. I babysit at night for my little brother, and my dad doesn't like to have lots of lights on, so I have our two lamps on, and the dining room light dimmed. I don't know why I get so freaked out, maybe it's the whole Kelsey Smith thing, even though that happened awhile ago, and it was at Target. I remember watching the news the same day that the whole Kelsey Smith thing started, and they also said that there had been some break ins about 30 minutes away from the area that I live in.. why am I so freaked out? I go to the kitchen to make my brother's milk, and I have like this feeling that there's like someone on the deck, watching me. I know that might sound weird to you, but I don't know why I'm acting like this.. I guess it all started when my brother grew up (He's like 19 months old) and my mom wanted me to watch him from 4-10 (my dad and my mom work nights).
We have a small rectangular window above the kitchen sink, so when I'm doing the dishes, I do this thing where I glance up and look out the window, and think that someone's there..
What's going on with me?
It's definitely understandable to be afraid to stay home alone or babysit at night when there were break-ins near your area. So don't worry that there is something wrong with you, it's a normal reaction.
It helps to turn all the lights on so that you can see everything and won't be scared by shadows. I know how real the feeling of being watched can be, so close the blinds or curtains on the windows so no one can see in. If you don't have curtains or blinds over the windows in your kitchen, put posterboard over it when your parents aren't home. It will make you feel safer to know that no one can see in.
Remember that the chances of having a break-in happen at your house is very low, so try to relax.
Write anytime if you have anymore questions. :)
Best wishes,
Hannah
Yeah, so this week I was in Vermont all week. I met this wicked cute guy at the motel I stayed it. One night I was playing basketball since the motel had a hoop outside. There were rooms right behind the basketball hoop. A CUTE teenage boy was outside on his deck reading 10 feet away from me playing basketball (except he was on the 2nd story.) As I shot hoops, I'd look back at him every few times to see him staring at me. I looked back a minute later, and he was gone. All of a sudden he was walking toward me! You have no clue how nervous I was. My heart was like beating out of my chest, and I felt SOOO sweaty. He asked if he could shoot with me and I said sure. He asked me questions like why I was here, where I lived, who I'm with, and I studdered in like every sentence because I was so nervous! I was like shaking, haha. I think it was because he was so hott and usually guys don't come up to me and start conversations, so I didn't know what to do. He basically did all the talking, and I stood there being boring and answered all his questions in a monotone voice. Next time, I wanna be prepared and not so nervous. What can I do to make myself feel comfortable and be myself? And don't tell me to pretend I'm just talking to a friend, it doesn't work for me!! With my friends I'm loud & outgoing, but I was nervous & shy around the hott guy. The hott guy didn't talk to me again! I made such a bad impression on myself. Help please, I wanna be able to keep a non-boring conversation with guys without studdering and saying stuff that doesn't even make sense!!
First know that this is a very common problem. Many girls have trouble talking to guys they like.
The first step in confronting your fear is called visualization. It is when you imagine yourself talking to a guy that you like. Imagine that you are doing everything perfectly, and that there isn't a flaw in the conversation.
The next step is practicing. This is where you practice on a guy friend or a guy that you don't have a romantic interest in. This shows that you can talk to guys and it gives you confidence when you see a guy that you are interested in.
The final phase is the confrontation phase. It is where you face your fear of talking to the guys that you like.
It is actually a good idea to practice the confrontation phase while on vacation because if you really embarrass yourself, you won't have to see the person anymore once you go back home. It's great practice!
Good luck, and don't hesitate to write back if you have anymore questions. :)
Hannah
Hair,makeup, and clothing..
WHAT'S IN STYLE!?
15/f.
I'm not too sure about makeup, but layered hair is definitely in. Barrettes are starting to make a comeback where I live. For accessories, bangles are in too.
Popular clothing now includes longer shirts. I actually went to Target the other day and bought a few for $12.99 each. Other stores such as Old Navy are having sales on them, I think. So those are a good idea. Here is a picture of one that you can get at Target:
http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=sc_pgb_r_5_0_13020801/602-9248265-5259811?ie=UTF8&frombrowse=1&asin=B000TMAVQ2
Hope this helps!
Hannah
Last night, I put my tampon in around 10 pm and this morning I was planning on putting a new one on and I completely forgot until about say 2pm. I'm really worried that I may have gotten toxic shock syndrome from this. I know I shouldn't have left it in that long, but I was in a hurry and it slipped my mind :( Is there anyway to tell if I have it because my parents are going to be two hours away tomorrow and I'm scared I'll show symptoms while they're gone?
First, relax. Toxic Shock Syndrome is extremely rare, so chances are you don't even have it. Actually, TSS has been linked to a certain type of tampon which has now been taken off the market. It is still possbicle to get TSS, but it isn't very likely.
But, I will tell you the symptoms just in case. They are: sudden high fever, a flat rash, feeling faint, watery diarrhea, and low blood pressure.
In the future, to prevent TSS you should wash your hands in addition to changing the tampons regularly (but I know you know this). Washing your hands is important because the bacteria can be transferred to anywhere on the body.
Good luck with everything, and please try not to worry. Write anytime. :)
Best wishes,
Hannah
Hi i'm 13 and a girl. Is it weird that I put on my ipod, go in my room and close the door, and in my underwear dance and lip-sync the words to the songs? Sometimes I dress up when I do it too. Sometimes i'm bored and it's really fun to me. Like do people usually do stuff like this, or am I strange? Tell the truth. Thanks!
Ok, I will be honest with you! :) It isn't strange at all. Dancing to your iPod isn't strange, and some people feel better when they aren't being tied down by a lot of clothes. So don't worry about it. :) And even if it was strange, so what? It isn't doing anyone any harm. You're just having fun.
Everyone does things that they think are strange, so you aren't the only one.
Have fun, and write anytime. :)
Hannah
can I get preggers if a boy cums in my hair? my friend said I could... but she's only 11.
13/f
I'm not sure what you meant by hair. If you meant hair on your head, then no, you can't get pregnant. But if you meant pubic hair, then it is possible. The only way you can get pregnant is if sperm goes in your vagina. So if the sperm went from your pubic hair to your vagina, then it is a possibility.
-Hannah
I'm 16/f. Ever since middle school, I've been wishing for a really great guy to come along and like me. And right now, there's finally a guy who I think is interested in me... well, I'm assuming he is because he's been calling me beautiful and hugging me all the time and just acting like he likes me. But whenever I see him, I feel so nervous and awkward and kinda avoid him and idk why! He's all nice to me and I'm standing there freaking out. But other times, I really want to be with him and stuff. Ugh, I've been wishing for a great guy and now there IS one, but it just makes me so nervous and awkward. I bet he's gonna ask me out soon, but I'm so freaked out of having a boyfriend that I'll probably just end up saying no and regretting it.And plus, he got out of a really long relationship with my friend, and she's not over him, so I'd feel like a total jerk if I went out with him because I know she'll feel really upset. He's such a sweet guy and he obviously cares about me, but I just don't know what to do. I've been so upset over not having a boyfriend and when I finally get the opportunity, it's so complicated. I'm so confused right now and it's all I've thought about lately. Please help!
Relax, this happens to a lot of people You really want something, and when you finally have it, you get nervous. It is a normal reaction, so don't worry about it.
It is possible that even though you really like this guy, you aren't ready for a romantic relationship with him yet. Maybe it is best to wait a little bit if he asks you out. He sounds like a sweet guy who really cares about you, so tell him the truth. Tell him that you like him a lot, but just aren't ready to have a boyfriend yet. Tell him that if you were ready, he would be your number one choice.
Adding that you don't want to hurt your friend also is a good idea. It is great that you are thinking about her feelings, and he will notice that. Your friend will also think more highly of you too.
My advice is to wait a little bit to avoid hurting both yourself and your friend. Even though you have been wanting a boyfriend for a long time, if you rush into things you won't be happy. Not to mention your friend may be upset.
Good luck with everything, and write anytime. :)
Hannah
I'm Natalie and i am 14. All my life i have been extremely boy crazy even since kindergarten. I have had boyfriends and gotten the butterflies. Sometimes even when i had a hard day and i was depressed i would day dream about me and like the perfect guy being engaged... lame i know but it made me feel better. But lately i dunno when i see a girl i sorta get turned on, and that scares me. I am a full supporter of gay rights, and have many gay friends but i just cant imagine and i don't really want to be one... at all. I do have anxiety and alot of the time i just freak my self out and obsess over something... am i doing that? when i do freak myself out i compare girls to guys and it changes but when i say girls i freak out and im scared.Im also a big believer you dont choose to be gay, and since ive always been boy crazy... but what do you think? Am i a lesbian, bi,or just a crazy straight girl? please help!
Hi Natalie,
There could be a lot of things going on here. The first one is, you could be bisexual. A lot of people start out liking only one gender, but as their lives go on, they end up liking both of them.
Another possibility is that this is a one-time thing. You may be surprised, and not many people would admit to this, but most people have had same-sex thoughts at one point in their lives. This could just be yours. So don't overreact. If it keeps happening, then you should start thinking about the possibility of it not being a one-time thing.
Also, for some people, their sexual orientation changes at certain times of their lives. This isn't because of choice, it just happens. You could have been straight when you were little, but now you could be bisexual, or even a lesbian if your interest in guys has stopped.
My advice to you is to be honest with yourself about your feelings. Sit down and ask yourself about them. How would I feel about having a girlfriend? A boyfriend? How long has the same-sex attraction been going on? Who would I be happier with right now, a boy or a girl? One of the most important things is having enough confidence to be honest with yourself. If you lie to yourself it will be very difficult to see what is really going on here.
Remember that no one is pressuring you to figure this out right now. Take your time and don't rush things. Some people know their orientation right away, and for others it can take years. Just be patient. I'm sure you will figure it out. :)
Also, I am from the GLBT community, so if you ever want to talk, feel free to message me anytime. :) Good luck!
Hannah