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am i a lesbian?
I'm Natalie and i am 14. All my life i have been extremely boy crazy even since kindergarten. I have had boyfriends and gotten the butterflies. Sometimes even when i had a hard day and i was depressed i would day dream about me and like the perfect guy being engaged... lame i know but it made me feel better. But lately i dunno when i see a girl i sorta get turned on, and that scares me. I am a full supporter of gay rights, and have many gay friends but i just cant imagine and i don't really want to be one... at all. I do have anxiety and alot of the time i just freak my self out and obsess over something... am i doing that? when i do freak myself out i compare girls to guys and it changes but when i say girls i freak out and im scared.Im also a big believer you dont choose to be gay, and since ive always been boy crazy... but what do you think? Am i a lesbian, bi,or just a crazy straight girl? please help!
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Hi Natalie,
There could be a lot of things going on here. The first one is, you could be bisexual. A lot of people start out liking only one gender, but as their lives go on, they end up liking both of them.
Another possibility is that this is a one-time thing. You may be surprised, and not many people would admit to this, but most people have had same-sex thoughts at one point in their lives. This could just be yours. So don't overreact. If it keeps happening, then you should start thinking about the possibility of it not being a one-time thing.
Also, for some people, their sexual orientation changes at certain times of their lives. This isn't because of choice, it just happens. You could have been straight when you were little, but now you could be bisexual, or even a lesbian if your interest in guys has stopped.
My advice to you is to be honest with yourself about your feelings. Sit down and ask yourself about them. How would I feel about having a girlfriend? A boyfriend? How long has the same-sex attraction been going on? Who would I be happier with right now, a boy or a girl? One of the most important things is having enough confidence to be honest with yourself. If you lie to yourself it will be very difficult to see what is really going on here.
Remember that no one is pressuring you to figure this out right now. Take your time and don't rush things. Some people know their orientation right away, and for others it can take years. Just be patient. I'm sure you will figure it out. :)
Also, I am from the GLBT community, so if you ever want to talk, feel free to message me anytime. :) Good luck!
Hannah
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I don't think you're a lesbian, although you could be bi. Have you ever felt sexually attracted to a girl? I so, you could be bi, but it could just be a one off thing.
I wouldn't worry about it if I were you, just carry on and see how your feelings develop, you may start to notice that you like girls in that way, but if so you're probably bisexual.
I highly doubt your a lesbian.
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i don't think you might be lesbian. it probably is that you're thinking too much about it and are stressing yourself out. now, when you said you get turned on if you see a girl, is it just a thing when you're like 'oh she's pretty' or 'she's got nice legs/eyes/lips/hair etc'?? or do you actually feel sexual attraction, if you don't then you're probably not.
i once got creeped out myself when i had this silly dream of me kissing sarah michelle gellar (buffy) eww, but i know i'm not lesbian it was just a dumb dream, lol, sometimes you do see pretty girls and you wish you had their waist, or breasts, legs, hair, but it doesn't mean you want to be with them sexually. its just that you may want to look like them or be more like those girls.
if you know your boy crazy then you are, or if you want to be more sure then just think of a gorgeous guy and then a hot girl and see which of them makes your heart beat faster?
hopefully you'll know, and like you say you can't really choose to be gay or straight it just happens right?
hope it helps
takecare, RATZY
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You're 14, you're confused.
I actually went through the exact same thing when I was 14 (I'm 16 now). The thought of doing stuff with girls turned me on alot, sometimes even more than the thought of doing stuff with guys.
Naturally, I started freaking out. I actually sexually experimented with a girl and even though I enjoyed it and wanted to try it again I realised I was still into guys.
It took me a few months for me to definativly say I wasn't a lesbian, I was just turned on by girls.
To this day, I still don't know what to call myself. Some people say you're only bisexual if you can be in a relationship with a girl and I don't think I could be. My interest in girls is purely sexual whereas my interest in guys is sexual and emotional. D'you see what I'm saying?
I honestly don't think you're a lesbian. I think you're just curious.
Think about this, could you ever see yourself loving another girl? Spending your life with another girl? Being in a relationship with another girl?
I predict your answers to these questions is no, but you're still turned on at the thought of being sexual with a girl. Right?
If I am right then you're fine. You're just like me and you're just a sexual person. You're just straight but turned on at the thought of having sex with girls but not being in a relationship with them. Completely natural and more girls than you realise are exactly the same as you.
I rambled alot but I hope I helped. If you need anything else let me know in my inbox.
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at 14 you really dont have any idea what you want. if you've liked boys forever then you might just be exploring and learning new things. it isnt weird for a straight girl to look at other girls. most teenage girls secretly look at other girls, not in a sexual way but just thinking of what they would look like if they had this... or had that...
its hard to explain but dont worry.your completly normal.
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