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okay,here is the scenario

i met this gal on the net,so what happens is that it is a chatroom,right,and we chat and soon find that we share the same interest and all that.we did not have cyber sex and it was just pure talk,later she sent me her photo and her msn.we soon had a great chat,but she has never seen me before.she then confessed her feelings to me on one night so here's my question:

1)does it count as love when a gal says she loves you when she has never seen you before,but loves your personality,chatting with you and everything else.

don't ask why i did not sent her my pic yet,i'm working on it,but i just wanna ask if it counts as love or not till this point where she doesn't know how i look like but likes my personality and other stuff.

I have two answers. Well one, love is anything you want it to be. THe only person who can judge love in a relationship, or lack thereof is you and the other person. But on the other hand. Love is well-rounded. And you guys barely know each other, she has never seen you, and this is an online relationsip. SO the answer is its up to you. BUt my personal answer is not really. She may think she is in love. But I dont think she honestly knows yet.

Hope I helped. FOllow your heart and first instinct

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And i come to Advicenators yet again for help.

Im the kind of person that likes to plan ahead.
So im already thinking about Valentines Day.
I have absolutely NO idea on what to get my boyfriend! I want to get him something really nice, but i just dont know what.

Advice would be nice.

Thanks

Get him a Desperate Houswives TV season on DVD, or get him a CD or two. And A beautiful card. It doesnt hurt to try getting him a Valentines' Day Card, if you dont like the other suggestions. Just think Sweet. Going out to dinner isnt a bad idea either

Hope I helped

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so i have no idea what to get my boyfriend for his birthday. we both splurged for christmas soo i spent around $250 on him then. im not made of money lol especially since i spent all that and havent been workin alot lately soo i dont know what to get him thats reasonably cheap [maybe $30-45 max] but is still good. im thinkin about makin him a cake and i cant do the picture of us in a frame deal [my computer wont print the pics right]. he'll be 17 and hes not into sports but he plays guitar and is just learning to play the keyboard and he likes the Fender brand [i already got him a Fender hoodie & shirt for christmas] and he likes funny stuff like the stupid/"guy" humor kind of thing. any ideas? btw concert tickets are not an option k thanx. 16f.

I think the best kind of non expensive present is to buy him a CD. Hopefully you know his favorite singer or band, and a Music CD is no more that $20. and you can buy him a really really nice card also...or a pack of cute boxers. Or just buy him a tie. Guys love those.

Hope I helped

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okay so, my boyfriend and I have known each other for a little over a year now. [since freshmen year, now we're sophmores] we've been together since last october & we're going on 3 months, but our relationship, before it was official, started to develop over a year ago. I truly love him. he's on one of the sweetest guys I'll ever encounter in my life. We're both Christians, so we're saving our virginity for marriage. But we do other things...so far, we've only gone to 2nd base [touching under the clothes] and he feels really bad about doing it...i mean of course he loves it, he's a guy...but he feels so guilty like he's taking something away from me cuz we went to 2nd base together...i keep trying to tell him that i'm completely for it & that i love him, but he still feels terrible [yet he doesn't want to stop doing it either]...what should i tell him or say? cuz it's really starting to bother me...
thank you! =)

I think you guys should have a talk. Discuss what both of you guys are comfortable doing together....so when it happens there is a mutual understanding, and your boyfriend's feelings, hormones, and morals wont contradict each other. Have the talk. Not the sex talk, but the comfortability talk. And I think it is absolutely amazing that you and your boyfriend both have the understanding of abstinence. Thats what the guy that im talking to and i have also.

Hope I helped

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ok so i FINALLY got over this guy i liked for FOUR WHOLE YEARS..and i felt soo free and liberated, but then all of sudden his msn-name was the lyrics for OUR song and my mind directly thought "aww he likes me again!" and i started likking him again and now i cant stop thinking about him (even though I KNOW he doesnt like me) so whta do i do? do you suggest i delete him (i realllly dont want to!)

I have definitely been there. But no, i say you dont have to delete him, if anything to really put ure feelings for him or lack there of is to call him up. Not so much call him up to have a long convo...but to see how he's doing, and to see for yourself, how you feel about him once you hear him in reality. Because sometimes, especially when we like someone, they morph into someone different then the real one. Whether he likes you again or not, I think you need a change of scene. SO the trick is to call him....kind of get sort of reaquainted, and look at your other boy prospects. Maybe if you talk to the guy that you think you might like again, you can work on accepting only his freindship, and if you start talking to other gys at the same time, it will be easier. Win Win situation, you got yourself here.


Hope I helped

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I am completely in love with my boyfriend. We have been together for 10 months but I've had a thing for him way long before we went out...and its kind of complicating but... before we went out and i liked him, he would start liking me and lead me on to think we will be in a relationship but then he would leave me in the dust for another girl..the same girl...twice.. but then they didnt work out but they still liked eachother and it came the day that he had to choose between us and he chose me. Well 10 months later theres this other girl and he talks to her alot and tells her alot about this novel he is writing and tells her how far he is in it but he doesnt tell me these things.....when i was the one who encouraged him to write it and gave him lots of ideas. I would think he would show me things first... so I'm getting really jealous and scared that he will start liking this girl and leave me in the dust like he did before...even though he said he wouldnt and he only loves me...but I don't know if I should believe him. I don't know what to do.

I think that you deserve better. But then agin he might be better, so, talk to him. Be blunt and honest, and dont hold back. Let him know ure fears, and ask him since when has been into that girll And when you ask him about that girl, be discreet and smart about the way you ask him; that way, if he does like her, he would of accidentally told , without you having to worry about him lying. If you feel that strongly about him, then maybe you should look at your other prospects. Talk to him first. Be careful not to jump to conclusions.

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i really need someones good adivice.so my mom came home from work and she caught me trying to sneek my boyfriend into the closet so that she wouldnt know that he was in my house after we had had sex. and then i told her that i have been having sex since i was 14 years old and i am only 15. this could ruin me and my boyfriends relationship because i could never get to see him again outside of school. and if she tells my father then he is going to try to hurt my boyfiend and blame it all on him even though it is not all his fault. and i am worried that this is going to jepordize my trust with my mom and my dad. i really need to know what i should do!! please help me!!

I think that you should talk to you boyfriend first. Let him know the posistion that you and you guys' relationship is in. Let him know then see what he says. Maybe his response, hopefully it will be helpful and reasurring, will give you an idea of what you can say to your mother. Maybe if it is easily to write her a letter, then do that. Your goal should be trying to enable your abilities to see your boyfriend with out sneaking.And maybe you might have to hold off on the sex for awhile, or at least until your mother trusts u again.

I really hope this helped.
Good luck

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34/f
I have a friend who is divorcing her husband. We became friends through church, while the two were still together. They have two children together who are my child's closest friends.

Before they separated, 'Renee' showed me a lot of stuff, asking what she should do. They included e-mails her husband, 'Sam,' had sent on their joint computer, trying to entice women from other states to come have sex with him. He wrote
very detailed, intimate fantasies and sent naked pictures of himself. This wasn't the first time.

Back to the story, they are separated, but they share the custody of their girls. Because our girls are friends, I still see Sam occasionally.
When I do, he makes icky comments and does things like taking pictures of me without asking. I feel uncomfortable around him. Mike (my hubby) can't stand him either. The most explicit thing he's ever said to me, I think, is asking, in regards to the movie The Secretary, which I told him I had never seen, whether I was "into that sort of thing." It's a movie about an S&M relationship between a boss and his secretary.

He often e-mails, calls, or mentions when we see him (last was Christmas) that he wants to get together with us sometime when he has the girls. He suggests dinner at his house or outings to
the science museum, etc. We always politely decline. Either we have other plans or we're not able to commit to a date. He keeps trying. They've been separated for 9 months now and we've been trying to avoid him longer than that.

So, do you think we're going to need to tell this dude to buzz off in no uncertain terms? I don't want to make it Renee's problem. She has enough on her mind. I don't want to be mean, but he should know that I see her probably every week
and we get the girls together about every 2 weeks. We never invite him along. What do you think? Would it be less cruel to explain to Sam that I'm Renee's friend and don't wish to hang out with him? Think he'll get the hint eventually?

I think that so far you are doing the right thing by not hanging with him, and letting your husband know. But with you just declining invitations, and himstill asking you means that he is persistent. I think that you should set boundaries. Let him know that you are very good friends with Renee, then tell him you can not go out unless you are with your whole family, and he agrees to stop being inappropriate. Let him know that you are serious.

Hope that helped

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I think i'm ADD (not literally) i alwayss get distracted from my homework...i know thats normal b/c its boring, but how can i just pay attention and finish it b/c next thing i know its 11:00 and i still have to study and do other things (like right now haha)

pleasee help.

I have the same problem, but IM not clse to ADD or anything....its boring and other things cathch your eye.....what I do is I turn on music or watch tv ( on a small screen tho) So I can listen to music and focus on ym work.....once you get good at multti tasking...it will be not so bad

hope I helped

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I used to be best friends with this girl.Then i started to like her and all was going well in our relationship.Then stuff happended and we had a big fight.Its been months since then i just want to be friends with her. I stopped liking her. a week or two ago i said sorry and we both "forgave" each other and all seemed very well. days later, i talked to her and she started shutting me down.
What more can I do to be friends with this person again?Do I just leave her alone?

No Dont leave her alone she is obviously a special person that you care about. Call her have a long conversation...and be consistent. Just remember if you have other best friends especially if they are girls...dont compromise their place with you or whether or not you talk to them ...just to befriend this other girl ..k

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Hello. I'm very nervous. Okay well me and my boyfriend have sex now. I'm 14 and he's 16, and he popped my cherry. We usually have sex, alot. We sometimes don't do it with protection. He pulls it out though. I'm just extremly worried. My period always changes though. It rotates, like some months I get it at the beginning of the month, and some twords the very end. Last month I got it at the beginning so I figured I would this month, I haven't. I'm scared, but I don't know what to do. I've been getting cramps, like you do from the period. Uhh, do you think I could be pregnant? What should I do!!!! Thankss. (=

wow your 14, but dont panic, u obviously have a regularly irregular period, so you dont know exactly whether your pregnant. Hopefully your not, but maybe you should secretly get a pregnancy test. Honestly maybe this is a sign that you should either give sex a break for awhile, or you should be alot more sexually resonsible....Just be careful,...ure really young for a child

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hey well im going through a very hard time right now... my dad has cancer and i have a feeling that my sister is going to move out... yea and well i cut myself kinda alot too.... but like i dont know what to do ... all my friends are worried about me(at leaset the 1s that know i do it) but like im split in half.... one siode is telling my im stupid for doing it and telling me never to do it again... and the other half is happy that i do it and it makes me wanna do it more..and i dont know what side to belive... none of my friends really understand what im going through and i scare myself when i do it...i just dont knwo what to do ... and going to a counsiler is out of the question because my family is almost broke from my dad and his cancer.. i just need some help and i really dont knwo what to do...

Thank you all so much in advance!!

I have been there my mom had cancer...but sweetie cutting yourself isnt going to make you r dad's cancer away, and it isnt going to make you feel better.Hurting your self isnt the answer. I know you are going through a tough time right now but there is a reason. What I do is find something I really like and work really hard at it . I PRAY all the time...and hope things will look up. I also lean on my friends for support when my family cant be there. I have many depressing problems its not even funny, but I love to smile....so I try to be perky. Imnot saying to fake happiness, but find a happy place, and try to be there often...focus onit. Now if you really want counseling and the only way that you dont want it is becauze of the money then...go to a churh. They are confidential, and they will give you persective from a spiritual level.which is all that can really make you feel better. Now I am not preaching at you, but on an honest note..alot of my happiest times were at church. but i am no saint .....find a church....or maybe a free choir...a way to pray and focus on those things with happiness mixed in. Find God, i bet with all thats been going on...he's been waiting for you...if you need help..please email me at bunnuggetsweetie@yahoo.com please...I will plray for you and your dad

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my skin is REALLY oily.. i wash it morning and night with cetaphil but i always feel like i have to wash my face in the middle of the day cuz my skin gets sooo oily but then im afraid if i wash it too much itll dry it out. anybody know any good products to control oil?

second, im not sure if its cus of my oily skin but i get a lot of breakouts. and ive tried so many products but none of them seem to get rid of them. any ideas?

THX!!

I have the same problem, and I dont get bad breakouts anymore, but the one pimple I get sometime is awful...anyway, There are two things I reccommend....one is Get oxy clean maximum strength pads...its in a little tub with a pink top...anyway it helped alot with my breakouts..but it doesnt work for evverbody..what it does do tho is its like cleaning without the sink...it wont dry out your skin so you should put some in a ziploc bag in your purse.that way if you feel oily, it help alot. If your skins starts getting dry ( I doubt it will if you have oily skin) then just get Johnson's baby lotion ( its not that oily) to help the dry ness. Now i dont know what cetaphil is BUT, I use clean and clear. The name of the acne wash is Clean&clear oli-free Foaming Facial cleanser..its good!!!. Get the acne clearing astingent also ( astringent is very essential to helping breakouts). And yes, the oil is a big factor in your reoccuring breakouts. I hope I helped alot!!!

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ok so a couple of weeks ago i was at the movies with a couple of friends. one of which i really like. so we started making out and "feeling" on each other. then he undid my belt and i sort of kicked him. and he was like "oh sorry is that too far?" and i said i dunno. so he
re-did my belt (it was the cutest thing ever) and we proceded with the "kissing and feeling". im 14. so my question is...should i have let him into my pants and such?

Wow! 14, I am actually that age and I have gotten about that far also...you have a good head on your shoulders since you told him to stop, you should not of let him into your pants, not only to boys talk after its done things could have gone way to far. And if this is th first time and you would of let him....it would have only gone farther,the nest time

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ok, me and my girlfriend are planning on having sex,and she is scared that the condom might break or she might get pregnant. i was wondering if i pull out soon enough and im using a condom if that would decrease the chances, even tho theres the pre cuming thing? and i was also wondering if there are any other precautions we could take besides for birth control?

I know this might sound corny but it makes sense....the feelings you have about sex is very important, you have to be both physically and mentally ready, and thats both of you. She sounds unsure and you sound worried, those are not feelings that should go into having sex. Yes, that should be a concern of every person, however, its supposed to be a beautiful thing, oh yeah, and pulling ut right b4 u ejacualte isnt going to prevent her from getting pregnant, all it takes is one egg and one sperm, thats it. If you are completely set onhaving sex, then then there is a diaphram ( a female condom) there is a pill, a patch and you can always be ghetto and layer the condoms 2-3-4 times over. But make sure you are ready. Other precations is getting tested, uless you are both virgins, then I honestly think that both people should be sexually responsible by getting checked.

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ok im 17 and want a kid. ok i do see that its gona be hard and that is probly not best to have a kid yet. but do you think it might help me change my mind bout having a kid if i speak to my boyfriend.
what could the out comes be? im scared if i tell him that he will get worride and leave me. but i dont want to keep something like this from him.
please help me some one.

thanks
xXxXx

Honestly most of us are given that want to nurture a child, to admire and all that, so dont beat yourself over for wanting. However, seventeen is very young,and babies cost money,lots of time, and more money!!! Eduacation is power, and eventually money....career, you know..having a baby b4 you finish that can really stress you out. Some guys love to stay bachelors, and very few guys think that having a child at that age or younger wont cramp thier style. While the boyfriend might sa yes now....u dont want him to resent you, and I dont want you to resent him..if things go wrong. They're so many risks, and your reputation will be tainted. AND here is a big one (at least to me) lets just say you have a child and ypu and your boyfriend break up, not many men your age or college age, want to start seeing a female with a child..they are to much of a punk to accept the responsibility for drama that might come. You also have to be careful becuse a child watches everything yo do, so partying and goin on dates will be a compromised situation for u..believe Iknow, my sister, at 19 thought she was sooo in love and had a baby, she loves him to death,(he is now 7), but juggling a job, bills, added babysitting fees, sitting down and doing homework, and then on top of that dealing with your chiold's mouth...believe whe I say that is stress you dont need!!! Hope I helped

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im going in to my sophmore year and we got our schedules yesterday. last year i got in a big fight w/ one of my best guy friends, he blocked me on aim and swore hed never speak to me again (the fight was over something stupid that makes absolutely no sense so im not really mad at him) anyways, i was talking to some of my friends and they told me that hes in my chemestry class. what do i do? i have about 3 other friends that i kno of in that class so its not like ill be forced to speak to him but do you think i should say anything to him? or just let him stay mad at me. i hate that we arent talking weve known each other since 6th grade! thanks so much

HAving a best guy friend is a special thing, so be glad u have a class with him...make things right..do whateva it takes, throwin a friendship awa shouldnt be that easy, sit next to him

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I am overweight by about 40-50 pounds. Up until 2 days ago, I could take out a 2 liter of soda like it wasnt nothing. I've started drink water (for the first time in ages) and am trying to kick the soda habit. My back hurts constantly, to the point where it consumes all my thoughts. I need help. I'm also a 38DDD cup size. Someone tell me what to do I cant take this back pain ANYMORE! I also smoke. Yea I know I'm destroying myself! Right now I'm willing to do anything. I'd rather not quit smoking right now though because I suspect I need to lose the weight and stuff and I can't kick everything at once! I rate!!

Yeah sweetie, its ok, being overweight is not your biggest concern right now tho, you need to go to a doctor and check that out..honestly its not uncommon for someone with your breast size to have back problems, but going malnrished isnt helping. If your trying to loose the weight not eating isnt helping. I dont know if you realize this but, when u stop eating consistently, and healthily, your body thinks its starving..therefore, it will be harder to loose the weight because your body will try with all its might to hold on to ALL the weight you already have, for fear your body will shut down....so in conclusion, you really should stop smokin because on top of ure weight issues, back/breast issues, you might will gain lung issues, go to a doctor and rell him ALL your concerns...please take care of your body, and take the cliche' into mind : your too young to die...k! Hope I helped lots

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I'm a 15 yr. old guy and I've recently realized I like one of my best girl friends (Let's call her Rachel). She's a really nice girl-and at one of my friends parties last week, I told my other best friend that I liked Rachel, but I thought she liked someone else at the party (Let's call him Jamie). My friend wasn't sure, and she told me that she wouldn't tell Rachel or anyone else. I've been talking to her a lot on AIM, and I like her even more- but I'm not sure if I should make a move and ask her out, I'm afraid that my heart will be broken once again (already broken thrice by my friend I talked to at the party). Please help!

WELL!! its not uncommon to like your best friend....however, you guys like you have a good thing going and maybe staying best friends and not advancing to a realtionship might help ure feelings for her. You see, a best friendship is way more stronger, and beneficial than moving to more...becuz if she does not like you back,things might be awkward which migh destroy the friendship anyway.....I want you to evalute you situation and figure out whether, you want a few week or months of love and no friendship when things end...OR, do you want a lifetime of a beautifuol thing

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