about

You see that man in that picture? That is me. I'm metal as all holy heck and I will give you answers so metal, you'll grow a beard. Even if you're a teenage girl.

So throw a question my way? "I like this guy and this guy, what do I do?" PICK THE ONE WHO LIKES METAL! "I've been feeling depressed lately, what should I do?" LISTEN TO SOME METAL! "I need help with my pre-calc homework." THE ANSWER IS METAL!

I can handle it all, I will not shy away from any question. May the metal be with you!

advice

Okay so i had sex
and everytime i think about it , i get horny.
do you think he gets horny when he thinks about it to?
im a girl by the way.

He'll be like any other guy and not think about sex with you, but sex with his next victim.

[view]

What am I supposed to do?
I'm STARVING.
There is no food in the house at all.
I didn't eat dinner last night.
I couldn't have breakfast and I don't have money to buy lunch at school.

Now it's after school.. and my mom won't go to the store to buy food.

I feel like puking. My stomach really hurts.

She won't go because she's "sick" I already asked her and she said I was bitching at her.

I dont know what to do..

Eat a rock.

[view]

Okay, this sounds really weird, but I fall for the weird one's i guess. =]

Well, I fell for a magician. He knows I like him a ton, and I think he might like me too.
One day I was at his shop and he did this really cool trick with one of our friends, Patrick*. Well, what he did was put Patrick* in a box and then slide the saw thing in the middle and then pull the box in two and Pat was still in there.
I think that's the best I can explain it, but

I was like "Holy S$#@, Roy*! How'd you do that??" And he was like "If you really wanna go with me, find out how to do it then show me next saturday. [this happened yesterday.]
& I was like, "Okay."
So I left and went home, stayed up till 2 am on the computer trying to find how to do that trick, but I couldn't find it ANYWHERE!!!!

I REALLY wanna go with Roy*, can anyone tell me how to do that trick if you know what I'm talking about?

THANKS A TON!! =]]

~Magician-to-be~

*names changed.

Magicians are sneaky people, I would avoid him. Anyways, everyone and their grandmother knows that there's two people in the box, there's no actual way for him to cut Patrick in half.

[view]

Me *&* My Boyfriend Have Been Together A Lil Over 4 Months I Love Him More Than Anything But Sometimes He Just Gets On My Nerves He Dont Even Have To Do Anything I Just Get Aggravated For No Reason...I Know I Dont Wanna Break Up Wit Him I Cant Imagine Life Without Him He Means Everything To Me...The Only Times I Get Aggravated @ Him Always Seem To Be When Im Not With Him!...Whats Goin On?

You obviously have a mental defect that makes you pissed at your boyfriend at random times and causes you to capitalize EVERY FUCKING WORD you type.

[view]

okay so theres this boy and ive had a bit of a sexual past with him and im like in love with him ,, however he has a girlfriend.
He lives in my neighborhood,but im moving like in a few days.
He's SO MEAN TO ME!
for example, he sat behind me on the bus
and i said something to another person and the boy i like buts in and said " shut up , he doenst like you"
and then SOMETIMES online hes nice,
i cant get over him and ive tried and tried.
What do i do?!?

im 13/f
btw.

To help solve your problems, realize that you're 13 and you don't know what love is nor should you be engaging in sexual acts at such a young age.

[view]

i had sex
and
the guy cummed in like 5 minutes

explanations??

Maybe you're unattractive and he wanted to finish quickly.

[view]

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to get an antiobiotic filled. I have also had a problem with my hands sweating all the time. I mean all the time, except when im sleeping. It interferes with school writing and my job. Ive also had underarm sweating problems that i treat with drysol but i tried for my palms and it didnt work. So do you think the doctor can prescribe me anything for my hand sweating?thanks!

I have a really ugly friend who has the same problem as you, and appearently there is a surgery they can do to stop it.

[view]

there are these boys in my grade. their the popular ones and i was online one night and they were on & were all like you're so ugly just go and die. no one likes you so just go to hell. now they call me gorilla b/c im so ugly. i've tried ignoring them but it dosent work. now all of the boys are saying it b/c they bascally worship the popular kids. i'm the only one they pick on. can you please give me some advice or comebacks?

thanxx

You could always bring nothing but bananas for lunch and jump around in trees. They'll be so confused they wont call you that anymore.

[view]

i had a crush on a guy thats treated me like shit for a year & a half now. im guessing it's best to get him out of my life, but he thinks telling me to kill myself is a funny joke & i should learn to lighten up. "/ i started ignoring him, which is working, but im wondering if i did the right thing. cause right now i feel miserable & like i will never find a guy that treats me with some kind of respect.

Well, it is kind of funny to tell people to kill themselves, but that is beside the point. You may not realize it, but girls have this genetic coding that only allows them to like assholes. Girls sit around with their girlfriends and say dumb shit like, "OMG I RLY WANT A NICE GUY!" but for some reason, when it comes down to it, they date guys that beat them and tell them to kill themselves. It's ok though, you're young and naive. By the time you're 30 or 40 you'll realize you need to find a nice guy, but by that time the nice guy will be making millions and dating a supermodel.

[view]

13/f

..please. helpp?

k i'm like crying right now.

so theres this guy i like alot. and i mean A LOT. i've seriously never liked anyone as much as i like him. last year he was in my class and i'm pretty sure he liked me, because even before i liked him he was always staring at me and talking to me all the time and stuff. plus his friend pretty much insinuated it. anyway, this year hes on my tea,. but he isn't in my class, which basically changes everything. he's not in ANY of my classes so really i haven't gotten a chance to talk to him since june because i'm shy so i can't just randomly walk up to people and start a conversation. but still i like gave him looks and stuff. he still seemed nervous when he was near me a little bit, or stared, i dunno its hard foor me to read boyss ugh lol.

so there's this girl who came to our school about 2 weeks ago, and shes on my team in his class. i was worried about it because i guess the guys think shes hot. so anyway, they started talking a few days ago, and now suddenly they're going out. i'm completely crushed because i really really REALLY like him and i really thought something could happen between us. i mean, they met not even 2 weeks ago and they're already going out, and i've liked him so much for almost a year. i feel like its somehow my fault because i could have done something? i don't know. but i'm seriously like wikeddd upset now, i need help. please.

thanks xo

My only suggestion would be to dress up like a crab and do a mating dance near him.

[view]

what are some sites that have those little things where you type things with letters or symbols and they make a picture?

www.typethingswithlettersandgetpictures.com

[view]

the down button on my laptop just fell off and i have no way putting it back on.. it usually pops off and i could pop it back in but it would still be loose and all but now that it came off i dont think i can get a way to put it on because it wont go on!! what do i do?!?!?

Buy a new laptop.

[view]

soo like when i masturbate right... it starts feelin reallyy good and then my whole body tenses up and sometimes feels like my legs and stuff are trembling, then when i stop im pretty much numb. is that an orgasm?

Some call it an orgasm, others a near-death experience.

[view]

female..15 years old.


OK..so i got this bf about 2 days ago.I like him but i think i would be ashamed to be out in public with him.but lets backtrack...on new year's eve my friend,her bf(david) and his friend(justin) wanted to spend the night with me so my dad let them..and me and justin hit it off well and i liked him but then i got sent off for six months and just got back 2 weeks ago.ok back on track..ok well now that i have this bf...my friends want to have the same kind of party again so me and justin are supposed to be hooking up and i like him alot but i just got this new bf and that would be mean..so should i stick with my bf or go for justin.

Are you seriously asking if you should cheat or not, because the obvious answer is no.

[view]

What is up with these 13 yr olds and getting pregnant/asking for advice about fingering and sexual things like that. wtf is our world coming too.When I was 13 I was still playing coodies with the guys next door or riding my bike around the neighborhood. Gahsh by the time I turn 30, 5 yr olds will be worried about sex. WTH

Hell, I don't understand it either. I didn't even kiss a girl for the first time til I was 19, and there are 12 year olds banging bitches left and right.

[view]

a few minutes after having an orgasm from masturbating, is it normal to experience random shocks through your legs? like sudden tingly bursts that shoot up through your leg and continue for a few minutes?

Be careful, it might be Satan trying to tempt you into more sinful acts.

[view]

My friend threw me a suprise birthday party this past weekend and her birthday is next weekend. I would like to do something for hers (she'll be 17). what could i do besides through a party?

Send her a text messege that says, "HPPY BRTHDY!" then don't talk to her for a week.

[view]

i'm trying to grow my hair out longer. it's about down a little past my boobs and blackish colored. so i heard eating more protein helps hair grow faster. so would like peanut butter && soymilk help?

I think hair just...grows.

[view]

Ok so my mom liked this guy 'Ryan' but then something went wrong, nothing big though. Now she likes this guy 'Bill'. She sees this new guy, talks to him, and sometimes goes on dates; I guess you could call it that. But all of a sudden 'Ryan' calls and asks if he can come over. Mom says he will just be here for a minute.. IT'S ALMOST 10:00!! What is he planning on doing.. spend the night?!?! Thats not ok! (Oh and just to let you know if you haven't already figured it out my mom is divorced has been for about 12yrs-practicly my whole life) So what is going on here?!?! Is my mom 'Unfaithful' like Rihanna's song? Or... what? PLEASE ANSWER ASAP!!

Yes, your mom is a giant slut and she likes to get around.

[view]

I was goin to bed downstairs with my parents room being upstairs, when i finally was in bed i heard a scream, so i got up wondering what was wrong then i heard all these sex noises moans and such, i was freaked out, wouldn't you be? so i called my 19 year old sister and she came home to comfort me. I couldn't sleep even after they had stopped, it was stuck in my head.
The next morning i was discusted, but still decided to talk about them about it, all they said was "we are in love you should be happy that we are still together in so in love" i go "i'm not...it's discusting to me!" they just said "you should get over it" now i can't get the noises out of my mind and i keep picturing them doing it i know they are in love but i still think it is really discusting i mean blowjobs, kissing, naked! that is what is stuck...please help me to be relived of that!

If they didn't do that, you wouldn't exsist. Grow up please.

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker