Wife, mother, loyal friend to the end, model, classic car collector. almost 30 years old, and seen alot in my few years here on earth. People usually come to me for advice, and i give in return grounded, realistic answers.
Gender: Female
Location: San diego
Member Since: January 18, 2005
Answers: 822
Last Update: June 30, 2016
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adviceman49
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I'm 19 and he's 27. We've been dating for 4 months, we're in love and I can't picture my future without him. Though, I'm afraid problems will occur regarding our age difference. Not so much what people think and say, more of me worrying if it will cause problems between us.
Whenever we go grocery shopping, he can't buy alcohol with me. I can't go with him to any event that is serving alcohol. It makes me feel utterly indifferent, I have 3 more years until I can drink. That's just one problem that has occurred regarding the age difference.
I would just like know, do any of you fellow Yahoo users know of any cliche and or very real situations that can occur because of a vast age difference in a relationship? I'm not looking for relief, I would just like to know of what could come and prepare for it. (link)
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this is a very good, and REAL question. Well lemme give you a little back history on ME first. I started going out with my man when i was 14 and he was newly 21 (so if you think your situation was bad think of mine) lol.
Now REALLY what you want to think about is if what you have here really is love first off. Because if it IS, then none of what your asking about will matter to him when it comes to this stuff because he will just want to be with you no matter where you are.
What you want to think about is, your stages in life. Are you and him at the stage places in your lives to where you can make it work? for example: is he willing to wait until YOUR ready to marry and have kids in the future, or will he grow to resent you because your not old enough to be at that stage in life yet. ((i know that this totally sounds off the wall btw. i realize that)) but with having an older man, this can really be a relationship damper.
He cant take you out and show you off to friends his own age, because you cant even be around his older friends who might wanna drink.
And if your together long enough, he will want to start a family and have kids sooner then you might be ready to, which might mean giving up on going to school (depending on what you want to do obviously) so youll want to try to prepare yourself for that, because there comes a point in a mans life (normally) where they start to think "ok its time to stop dicking around and settle down and get serious about my life" and this WILL probably include a wife and children. so that at least in my mind will be your biggest issue. As long as you can grow WITH him and allow him to work on his carrier or do whatever it is he needs to do when it comes to building up a life in the future for the two of you in the long term, you should be ok.
(youll also need to make sure you allow him to go out with his buddies still to have fun even if its without you and not get all jealous or weird about it because he may start to think that a female his OWN age "wouldnt be like this") also try to make sure you keep your own life and go do fun things with YOUR friends as well.
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So me and and my boyfriend haven't been dating for too long but he always makes me feel so special. Almost all the dates we've been on he makes me flowers with yarn (he crouché's) and the other night he planned a whole night about me to make me feel special. I want to do something to show him how much I like him and make him feel special as he does have some confidence issues. We are going on a date in a few days where we are going to do a picnic in the country but during a thunderstorm since we both like watching the stars when it's raining. I plan on writing him little love notes that I'm going to hide in his car and places so he can find them. But I wanted to either make or bring him something to surprise him and I need some suggestions? Any have any ideas of what I can do, even if they are actions I can do to make him feel special? Preferably not something sexual as I want it to be more of a romantic thing but if it's a good sexual idea I'll take it :) thanks in advance lovelies (link)
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since he likes to crochet you could buy him some of the supplies he usually buys for himself but in colors you think he might like or a project for him to do that involves crochet (you know, just things that help in the creative process)
This is kind of a long shot, but some people really like to do this in the summertime. you could buy a butterfly grow kit, and grow some butterflies that are native to your area. Then gently put them in a box and if you go out on a walk in the park or somewhere outside since its real nice out now, you could give him the box and have him open them, and he\'ll get to watch them flutter out! = )
some people like to put a picture of the two of them together at the bottom of the box and or take a picture of his face when he see\'s them all fluttering out infront of him!
the kits really dont cost that much and come with everything you need to grow them. their simple creatures and it will take a few weeks, but will be WELL worth it seeing the receiver\'s face when they open the box. hehee
good luck!
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My boyfriend's best friend of several years is a female. She lives several states away and he rarely sees her anymore, but constantly "likes" her photos on Facebook and comments on her posts, etc. I know they talk and text a lot, too. I asked him once if they had ever dated, and he replied that they were like brother and sister.
I found some old photos of them on Facebook where they appear to be somewhat physically intimate. In fact, until I knew who she was, I assumed she was an ex girlfriend. He's giving her hugs, picking her up, giving her piggyback rides, etc.
I know that men and women can be platonic friends, but I don't go beyond hugging my close male friends (not as a rule, it just doesn't happen). She's an attractive girl, and I'm sure he sees that. I simply don't believe that he has no desire to be physically intimate with her given the photographs that I've seen. I've never met her but she's expressed desire to meet me soon. I have absolutely nothing against her, but I just want to know if my beliefs about their relationship are justified; and if so, what should I do about it?
Thank you :) (link)
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I have to agree with the previous posters here, your basically putting cheating and him having a pretty female friend on the same shelf, and thats not where they belong at all.
ive been with my husband for 13 years, and i told him in the beginning that he was allowed to have female friends, and i would keep my male friends, as long as boundaries were kept to make others aware of the fact that we were in relationships.
I have several guy friends that i grew up with who i consider brother like and thats why the bond thats there would allow for \"touchy feely\" but still innocent and playful type behavior. On that same note though, now that we are all getting older (26, 27 and up years of age) more of us are in relationships and understand that our partners feelings are important so we need to consider their feelings and not offend people or \"rock the boat\" any if we can help it.
Texting, chatting, whatever are still very much allowed although we al have lives and jobs so thats still become a rare thing.
I also have to agree that just because you saw pictures of her or them together years ago, doesnt mean you get to unfairly judge her and jump to any conclusions. It sounds to me like if she is open to meeting you then she trusts your mans judgement and thinks you are a similar caliber of a person that her and him both are, and is already assuming that your awesome, and sweet, and cool just like he is, and WANTS to know you. Now why would you go and shut someone like that out of your life?
This girl doesnt even know you yet and WANTS to be friends. Give her a chance, and dont prejudge. She may just turn out to be a really awesome friend, and one you could come to love and have a close bond with for years to come.
please try to put aside your hang up\'s and be open . ive lost many guy friends simply because their girlfriends just saw my pictures and MADE them cut off contact. Imagine how painful thats got to be when youve known that person since you were wo years old and they felt like a brother to you?
trust me from the other side it hurts, and its happened to me so many times over the years, i cannot even keep track anymore. They know i was in a long term relationship too, but it didnt matter, they just couldnt get past their hang ups....i still miss some of them today and think of them often. = (
just give her a chance ok??
good luck sweetie.
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I am 12 yr old girl and want to no wen I should be allowed to do things. First I'm responsible , get good grades, and reasonable. I
Makeup: I have acne so I want to conceal and start putting some on in a yr or two. My mom thinks 15/16
Babysitting / tutu ring: I wanna do it now to prove I'm responsible but my mom thinks 13
Dating: I think dances should be ok in high school and to start real dates jr yr with approval of the boy . Mom thinks 17.
Alone: I want to go shopping and movies with a friend or by myself. With friends I think now and I'll call my mom every hour. Alone I think high school. Mom thinks 15
Shaving legs : I think now . Don't wanna ask mim.
Am I being unreasonable? Is she? What is a good middle ground for a good girl like me? Can u help me convince to that middle ground? Thx (link)
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yes some of the things here you speak of are not totally unreasonable, but your mom also has to try to look out for you in a time where the world isnt the safest place anymore. Almost any younger woman is a walking target for kidnapping, rape, purse snatching etc. So i understand as a mother how you going out alone would scare her.
Going with a a couple of girlfriends would be your best option, and maybe have her pick you up and drop you off at the mall or where ever so you get time with your friends, but she can be somewhere else not too far away and just pick you up again when you or she is done running errands or something.
as for shaving your legs, i want to address something here that i noticed someone else say that is a complete myth. Shaving your legs does NOT make the hair grow back in thicker. what happens is because your shaver is cutting the hair at an ANGLE, and not taking the whole hair out by the root. it grows back again looking like its thicker when in fact is it NOT. so if thats your moms argument for not letting you shave your legs then thats excuses and not true at all. i know this. i went to cosmetology school and learned how to professionally wax people. i myself shaved for years and now wax because its just way easier.
If your leg hair is bothering you now that your getting older then you should let you mom know so that she can prepare you for starting to shave, if not just let it go until you have to. I know that some things older women do might LOOK cool because its a sign of being mature, but trust me when i say that shaving legs every few days is really just a pain in the but that you wanna put off as long as possible. ; ) lol.
makeup: this can be tricky, makeup is meant to bring out your natural beauty, not cover up acne, if you have acne like the others said you should talk to your doctor first because lots of make up like foundations and what not can just clog your pores more and make everything worse. if you wanted to wear just some eye liner and some eye shadow though (very subtle stuff) that might be do-able. but no full facial stuff until that acne is taken care of. its just too risky, and im sure you dont want permanent scares on your face either.
good luck. = )
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I am. 22 year old female. I work in a grocery store with this guy Mitch..several coworkers have confronted me saying that they think he has a big crush on me. I have noticed certain things to. He really doesn't talk to anyone but me, and the ones he does talk to he talks to me in a different kind of way and is most attentive to me. He looks at me in a certain way, he's always extremely excited and happy and always smiling when talking to me, his pupils diliate..he blushes a lot. We click extremely well. He will only bag for me, never anyone else..even if I'm at a register not next to him..he always laughs at things I say even if they're not funny..one time I was talking about a guy I liked and his happy giddy mood went to awkward sad and he looked at the ground and just said yeah..yeah..(totally not his personalityw me).I changed the subject bc I could tell he didn't like it. Does it sound like he likes me? (link)
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DEFINITELY he likes you. Everything hes doing sounds like what my now husband of 13 years did before we started out. Very sweet and bashful, and smiling and when i would talk about other guys he would get quiet and sad.
Why dont you start somewhere on neutral ground and invite him to a group event? a concert or someones birthday. Then see how he acts, this way you can either sneak off with him and have a few moments of privacy to find out more if he likes you or not.
He sounds very sweet though based on what youve said. ; )
good luck.
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I'm 23 he's 22. We got into a fight because he sent me a text that obviously wasn't for me. When I said something he told me I was stupider than shit and always acting like a bitch. He doesn't respect me so I just blocked him and said bye. Well he tried calling about 50 times afterwards but I ignored it because I refused to be disrespected. Well I didn't talk to him for 4 days and then when I was calm I unblocked him and decided to try to talk about things. Well in these 4 days he moved on apparently and wouldn't have anything to do with me. He blamed me for everything and kept saying it was my fault for acting that way and it's my fault that he is talking to someone else. Really? It took him 4 days to move on from our 2 year relationship? I begged him to stay but he didn't care. I'm so depressed he's done this before I just never thought he would do it again. Do I move on? Or just wait for him to realize that were suppose to be together? Or does that make me pathetic? (link)
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He probably isnt REALLY in a new REAL relationship, he was probably just saying it to piss you off, but whatever the case, your man should never EVER rule your life or be calling you names like that. youll learn when your older that REAL MEN dont need to name call in order to get you to understand their feelings.
You should not have begged him to stay, it just shows that you played right into his BS trap to upset you more because he had no more cards to play and it worked. its ok though youll know better for next time. leave him ASAP and find a good man that will treat you right.
good luck sweetie. ; )
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I had having sex wid my bf after 15 days for 5 years.. Bt nw we seperated nd my body wants dat process bt I control nd even I dnt do finggering. My vaginahad becam too much loose. is Dere any solution to make my vagina as before if I dnt do sex again (link)
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Not totally sure what your asking here, if you mean making your vagina like it was before the first time you had penetration then no theres nothing you can do because your hymen is now broken and you cannot regain your virginity.
you can make your vagina tighter by refraining from having sex for a while but thats about it.
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My boyfriend and I are both 15 and we are both virgins. He wants to have sex with me but he knows that I am not ready. He says he will try not to do anything that I will not be comfortable with but he told me he doesn't know how long he can hold it off for. Also, I don't really like the idea of giving him head or him fingering me as I have not done any of this before. Any advise? (link)
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ok i dont know why mothers dont teach their daughters this enough or at all, but boys your OWN age only have one thing on their mind and im pretty sure you know what it is. they peek sexually alot sooner then you, so they want sex earlier. its biology.
just think about that when a guy starts talking to you and you should get the idea of what they REALLY want from you alot sooner. usually the ones that come on strong and hit on you right away are the ones that just want sex. the more reserved ones are usually the sweet guys that will wait if you make it clear.
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22/f
What are some clothing ideas for hot weather? My new job will require me to dress pretty modestly for safety reasons (working with chemicals and such) and it's going to be down south where it's summer pretty much all the time. I've been living north for a long long time and I honestly have no idea how to change all of my clothes to suit the hot weather while still wearing full sleeves or pants. I have started trying to buy clothes with lighter materials but I would love some advice. What are some articles of clothes you wear that help keep you cool without wearing shorts and a tank top. Links would be welcome. I just need ideas for how to shop.
Thanks! (link)
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Oh this is actually a great question for me because im in the middle of changing my wardrobe to fit summer and hot weather!
You ARE right on track with the lighter materials and fabrics. What you want is something that breathes and its light at the same time but is modest am i right?
what you could try is some nice leggings and a short dress that fit still flatter your body but not show anything. then you can put a nice black wide belt around your waist to focus the attention on the smallest part of your waist and give you more of an hour glass figure (and thats a tip for no matter what body type you are) ; )
you can also still do long light cottony, flowing dresses that end at your ankles, it CAN be strapped as long as you wear a long sleeved shrug over it. or a jean jacket that you feel breathes.
Alot of places like forever 21 are changing their clothes right now to fit spring and summer, so they will have long flowy skirts and dresses, and if you see a shorter one you like, you can put leggings under it so still flatter you, yet keep everything covered, and its tighter fitting enough that it will cling to you so you dont get chemicals on your legs. then you can pair that with some simple black flats that go with everything.
long flowy cotton blend pants are great right now for the heat, yet will keep things covered.
the one thing about most of these clothing choices though is that you cant put them in the dryer or they could shrink. so i would just not risk it and wash your new colors, warm in the washer and then hang dryer them. the colors will last longer anyway if you hang dry and dont put them in the dryer. ((plus its warm weather so the summery clothes will tend to dry faster, because of the type of material and the heat))
good luck ; )
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21/f, 27/m
Hello,
I am currently talking to this guy. We actually just met online. I was interested in him and we went on a date and I thought it went alright. We recently went out again the second time and he kissed me. I have been getting mixed signals from him and I'm not sure what to think. These are what I have observed so far and reasons why I get mixed signals:
1. He sometimes talks about seeing meeting my family or coming to my house and having my mom make him this particular food he likes.
2. He holds my hand when walking in the street, driving in the car, etc. He also kisses me on the cheek, tells me I'm pretty and I have a cute personality.
3. He sometimes makes dirty jokes. Most of it relating to coming over to his house late at night and "doing stuff". He has been making those type of jokes since we first chatted online.
4. When he kisses me, he seems to be a bit aggressive and wouldn't let me pull back. The last time I saw him, he asked if I wanted to come in and "meet the dogs", yes he does have pets, but I'm sure he wanted to proceed further, I said no.
5. He listens to me when I talk, he's spoken to me about his issues before, his past, etc. Him in general doesn't come off as someone who would try to "get laid". He comes off as a gentleman when I talk to him.
6. He doesn't talk to me only on the weekdays, he speaks to me everyday.
7. I caught him getting online to meet girls, my guess is that he is trying to keep his options open but then it makes me wonder if I'm just someone he's planning to 'score' with and go back into the 'dating game'
He recently invited me to go to the symphony with him and I accepted. My manager was thinking that I have the ball in my court and that I should wait it out and see if he's looking for an actual relationship or that he's testing to see how far I would go.
I asked him if he was expecting anything from me (hoping he'd be completely honest), he said, "no. why would I expect anything from you? We just met." But he also told me that he's "open to anything." Even though the first day we met, he told me he was looking for someone be in a relationship.
What are you thoughts? What should I do? (link)
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Well it looks liek he IS looking for a relationship but it also looks like your just seeing some of what his personality traits are. So if hes doing things you dont like, you can still pull back and say \"i really like you but, i dont like when you (do this or that) in your own words obviously. or say that youve noticed, that this or that happened and it bothered you alittle, and just see what he says about it. If he says hes sorry and didnt know you felt that way, then you have no reason to believe hes not being honest right?
About the online dating thing. sometimes guys can fall into a pattern where even though they found someone they like, they\'ll continue to go on the same websites their used to and have grown a liking for. If youve just started dating then dont expect everything to be all about you when it comes to love. he might be just as unsure as you are right now and just doesnt know how to talk about it because hes a guy, or have the balls (like you do) to reach out and ask for advice.
so far everything sounds up to par.
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I made a kik account on my iPhone, and then some guy said he was going to have one of his "homies" track the IP then have someone kill me... Then, I turned off location services and deleted the account. What should I do? I don't want to tell the cops, or else he still might have someone hurt me. Can someone find out my IP Address from my Kik and track me down? Even if they had like the most powerful hacker in the world do it. (link)
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i dont know a whole lot about kik, but try to think about what features the account has that the person would be able to use to track you down?
can he see your facebook or other things where he could message a friend of yours and ask them for where you live or something??
if you want to inbox me you can. My husband is actually and exhacker, and a computer programmer. he set up the city of las vegas\' first 4g network! i would ask him for his help with this now but hes asleep! lol. but if you wanna keep in touch ill ask him tomorrow when he up! ; )
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Hello everyone, I'm 18/F and my bf and I have been dating for two years now. When we began dating, he had told me about girls who also likes him. There are quite a few and I just can't stop thinking about this particular girl he told me. She liked him and I think she still does but he didn't like her. My bf and I live in the same state while she live in another state. I completely have no idea what's about her that I can't stop thinking about her one day ending up with my bf. of all the girls he told me that like him, why her? What can I do to stop thinking about her ending up with my bf? (link)
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hmmm well theres no easy way to say this. but you cant be insecure about it. if you know and trust that he loves you then theres nothing to fear right?
he says he doesnt like her back so whats the problem? it seems a bit unproductive to spend your time thinking about someone who doesnt really know you and who your man tells you he doesnt like anyway.
Based on what youve said here, it sounds like you might be a bit untrusting of your man and insecure that some of girl will \"take him\" somehow. your bf isnt a piece of property. YOU own his heart from what the current situation is because hes with YOU and not her.
good luck sweetie. ; )
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my g.f has very small hole she is 22 year old...my penis is not going in when m trying to insert...what shud i do to insert??
(link)
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did you try using lots of lube? if this the first time for her then its not going to feel good and yes her vagina will be smaller then normal. it will also be normal for your penis to be hurting a little too because its so tight, so use lots of lube and go really slow so her body can get used to you. some people start out not wearing a condom and put lube to get the girl to open up a little more down there then put the condom on once things can go further. (obviously dont do the whole time without a condom on) good luck.
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Im still in love with my ex like crazy, we saw each other on sunday and it was actually amazing felt like the old days.. He wants to carry on seeing me to see how it goes and such but he said he didn't want a relationship right now? It confuses me, because i just don't see myself with anyone else. Im 20 by the way.. and it's weird but it cringes me if other guys touch me or stuff it's like i can only be myself with him like i only want him to touch me.
He knows how i feel, he thinks i only like him still but deep down im still in love with him after 2 years and a half.. i'm going with the flow and all but i don't want to be lead on or anything .. he still acts himself with me when were together (this is the second time) we saw each other after 2 years.
My heart tells me to carry on seeing him and see how it goes.. he says that what's the point of putting a tag on something (relationship) if we have something good.. i told him but what if were getting serious again? he said just to allow thing's to happen..
im actually scared to get hurt never ever have i ever been in love this way
what can i do? :(
I'm actually quite happy at the moment since i last saw him but i dont want my feelings to take over and let them destroy me like they have before.. (link)
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Yeah you need to make things clear with him ASAP, Simply for the pure fact that your still deeply in love with him. Do it for YOUR sake, because your just dragging this on and on, while he (at least me) uses you by saying things like \"lets not put a label on this\" i would not be able to stand for that at all.
I would want to know what his intentions are with you so that if hes not really ready to be with you, then you will know and can begin the healing process asap, and get over it and move on. you dont want to fool yourself because your so emotionally invested in him from the past. Im betting hes using the fact that you still love him so much to play you into giving him what he wants.
((sorry but i cant stand guys that come across as users or players)
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Hello,
Usually when sleeping with someone I am always on the bottom. Recently, this guy flipped me over on top and I realized i'm so bad at riding on top of him.
Advice?? (link)
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Yeah i have to agree with the previous posters here. everyone is different. Most women i know like to be on top because they can control everything, and usually the guy has his hands on your waist or hips and can assist you in moving up and down so that you dont accidentally injure him (ive done that before and it wasnt good) but thats why there two people. usually the guy will WANT to help in this manner, not just lay there. lol.
good luck ; )
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m sucking my g.f boobs every alternative days will it become big?? (link)
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the only time they may appear to be slightly larger is when she may be on or near her period because of hormonal changes. other then that sorry, your outta luck there. ; )
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I will be moving soon and I know in my head what I want my new bedroom to look like but I don't actually know the name of the style, so that other people know what I'm talking about.
I'd call it an Indian Bohemian princess bedroom. Fabricy walls, bright colours, different textures and patterns. I just need to know what to call that, so I will be able to buy the materials to make my dream room. (link)
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Well if you put that look together yourself then their most likely isnt a \"name\" for that. but i think i get the idea of what your talking about. The name you already gave it kinda says it all already. ; )
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I feel really good when I laugh and I love laughing. The problem is that I find almost nothing funny. A lot of people laugh when other people get hurt which is what most "funny videos" on youtube are about. And I honestly don't think they're funny ._. I also don't like most "funny" movies. Can anyone give me some ideas what I can watch? The only person I can think of that makes me laugh is ellen degeneres ._. (link)
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Well if you like her then you could check out some other comedians on youtube, like dave chappelle, or google a list of them and watch a few and see who you like the most.
Ellen d. was a comedian before she had her show. so you might like other comedians.
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A long time ago in august i flirted alot with this girl on facebook and i was 100% sure she liked me, i wanted to ask her out the following day at school face-to-face but another boy was faster than me. She went out with him but eventually broke up because he said too many lies. Meanwhile i got friendzoned(or so i think). she hugs me alot we dont really go to the movies together or do anything outside of school but im pretty sure im friendzoned. Do girls get over guys that quickly? Its hard for me to move on.. and if i ask her out then it will be too awkward for me if she says no! please help! (link)
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Sometimes YES, girls will move on faster depending on their personality and who catches there eye. If shes got alot of male admirers, then shes got alot of options and can flutter from one guy to the next like a butterfly. It doesnt mean she\'ll forget about you though. If you have been friend zoned then i would still continue to be her friend and understanding ear, and slowly let her know that you like her. invite her to do things with you and friends in a GROUP of people where things might not get awkward if shes not feeling you. if she is then great and youll have many more alone dates. ; )
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So i've slept with this guy twice.
Both times he used a condom, but came while he was inside of me (in his condom). That always scares me because what if the condom breaks?! or Something! Then all that stuff is in me! That's not the best.
Anyways, is it normal to be afraid that something like that could happen?
How do I tell him to just pull out before cumming? Is that rude?
Also, I know when hes going to cum because he goes SO deep in me and pushes real hard - it feels great for me and probably great for him, but I'm so scared!
advice? (link)
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Typically theres nothing to be afraid of if your using enough lube or your body is making enough lube so that the condom can slide and doesnt break. ive been with my husband for 13 years and we always used condoms (unless we were planning a child) and only had a condom break one time. and that was years before that. your body usually creates enough natural lube that this is not an issue. It would probably start to hurt you in there before that would even happen.
If your not comfortable with it though, its not rude to ask him to pull out right before he finishes. You can explain that your still scared of this aspect of things, and see how he reacts. good luck
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