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I need to get her off my mind
Hello everyone, I'm 18/F and my bf and I have been dating for two years now. When we began dating, he had told me about girls who also likes him. There are quite a few and I just can't stop thinking about this particular girl he told me. She liked him and I think she still does but he didn't like her. My bf and I live in the same state while she live in another state. I completely have no idea what's about her that I can't stop thinking about her one day ending up with my bf. of all the girls he told me that like him, why her? What can I do to stop thinking about her ending up with my bf?
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Trust is important to a relationship. I am guessing that is why your boyfriend has come out and told you all about girls that like him and past girlfriends. He wants you to know that he cares only about you, not the other girl. Trust takes some time to develop. You did not say if he did anything to break your trust and cause you to keep wondering about this other girl. So my only guess is that perhaps you suffer from feeling insecure about yourself, which is common during teen years. Piece of advice: Guys find a confident female to be very attractive. Being insecure when a bf is doing what he can to prove he only wants you is a sure fire way to kill that love over time.
So the only thing to do is that any time a thought of other girls has come into your mind, capture it and replace that negative thought immediately with a positive one...the truth...by speaking it out loud. You will be retraining your subconscious mind to think positively about you and him.
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I assume the two of you are having sex.
The solution to your problem is to sex your b/f harder than he's ever been sexed before. Just drive all those other girls out of his life by working him until he's exhausted. And not just once, either.
It's guaranteed to work, absolutely. Go for it.
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This is really a hard question to answer for you have not given any reason for why you have fixated on her. Has your boyfriend given you any reason to mistrust him? When he told you about other girlfriends and came to her did he say anything different about her that he didn't say about the others or did he leave something out that was said about the others? These of course are questions you have to ask yourself and decide if these are a reason for why you feel this way.
If I were to guess at the psychological aspect of why you feel this way and this is only a guess as there is no basis in fact. I would say that being 18 this is probably the first true romance. There may have been other "boy friends" as you went through high school but this one is a "boyfriend". I didn't make a spelling mistake here there are differences between a boy friend and a boyfriend.
It is a bit reasonable at your age to have a little bit of insecurity. You may be graduating soon and you both may be heading off to different colleges, in different states. He may be heading off to a college in her state, I don't know you haven't said. You're not sure if your romance will stand the test of time and distance.
High school romances rarely ever go beyond high school. Of all my friends when I was your age and there were about 30 of us only one married his high school sweetheart. From my generation, and I'm old enough to be your grandfather, about half of these marriages failed. I have since lost track of him as my career has caused me to move around the country so I am not aware if the marriage has lasted.
If anything I have guessed at is what you think is the cause of your present insecurity I would say relax. This is fairly normal if I'm correct. You are going off to college with the best intentions of coming home to each other. For the first break maybe you do. By Thanksgiving you have met enough people that you both start to wonder if you really want to be tied down at this point. By Christmas break you two will have decided to take a break from each other.
Should this happen between you two this too would be normal for your age and circumstances. I'm not making light of a first love. We all have them, both boys and girls, and they rarely go beyond high school as I've said. It does not diminish the love or the hurt when and if the break up or if there is a mutual decision to take a break.
This is all part of the great adventure of being a teenager and preparing for life as an adult. My advice is to relax enjoy life and roll with whatever comes your way. Right now the best thing for you is to believe if something is meant to be it will be.
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hmmm well theres no easy way to say this. but you cant be insecure about it. if you know and trust that he loves you then theres nothing to fear right?
he says he doesnt like her back so whats the problem? it seems a bit unproductive to spend your time thinking about someone who doesnt really know you and who your man tells you he doesnt like anyway.
Based on what youve said here, it sounds like you might be a bit untrusting of your man and insecure that some of girl will "take him" somehow. your bf isnt a piece of property. YOU own his heart from what the current situation is because hes with YOU and not her.
good luck sweetie. ; )
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