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My boyfriend wants to have sex but I'm not ready.
My boyfriend and I are both 15 and we are both virgins. He wants to have sex with me but he knows that I am not ready. He says he will try not to do anything that I will not be comfortable with but he told me he doesn't know how long he can hold it off for. Also, I don't really like the idea of giving him head or him fingering me as I have not done any of this before. Any advise?
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If you aren't ready for this or uncomfortable tell him it's not happening. He needs to respect that or get out. That's the truth and bottom line.
He says he isn't pressuring you so what's this can't hold out much longer crap he's feeding you? He's being selfish and doesn't have concern for you. I know you love him but be firm that he needs to back off and if he can't wait find some other girl. What concerns me most is that he cares about his desires and not yours.
It's perfectly fine if you aren't in to doing the other things you mentioned either. If you don't want to do something don't. Someone who truly loves you will understand that it's not for you to be doing right now. If they can't understand it excuse my language tough shit. You're in charge of your body and what you are emotionally and physically ready for. If your gut says "no" than obey it. It's never wrong.
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Rainhorse68 already gave you some excellent advice and since I can't top it I will concur that you should not be pressured into anything you are not ready for. As far as how long can he hold off, the real question is how long WILL he hold off! It is not medically necessary that a 15 year old boy have sex! If this boy is pretty mature then he should respect what you are telling him and stick with the good old DIY method for a while longer. If he really has feelings for you he will wait until the time is right and you are ready for this step. If he dumps you then good riddance, that means he was not good enough for you anyway!
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Having full sex is a big step, especially for a girl and you are absolutely correct to wait until you feel ready and comfortable with it. Guys generally have fewer doubts and just want to have sex as soon as possible, I'm afraid it's one of those generalisations that is so often true. Of course, you want to be much more than just some convenient female for him to have sex with, and quite right too. Love-play, as you mention (him touching you intimately, handjobs, oral sex) is a lot less pressure, there's not the emotional entailments of you 'losing your virginity' and most importantly perhaps, there's much less that can 'go wrong'. Which must be why it's so common for young couples to start off like this, not rush into having sex. Not all relationships last. He may not ever be the guy you want to have sex first time with. You could think of it as a (usually very enjoyable) way of exploring your sexuality, but make it quite clear that you do not intend to have full sex, not until you feel ready. If your love-play includes making him 'cum' (via handjobs or oral sex) it can reduce the tension in the relationship quite effectively, hopefully avoiding some of the 'can't hold it off' feeling you mention. And if he feels that he can please you physically (without full sex) that should help too. It's one thing for me to tell you this, and another for the pair of you to actually implement it. If he really can't or won't give you the time and consideration you want and deserve you'll just have to take a deep breath and let him go. I can honestly tell you that agreeing to have sex is not a guranteed way of a girl keeping a boyfriend. It's a bit of a power-play, a kind of emotional blackmail. "Have sex with me or I'll dump you...you choose" in effect. It's not unusual or anything sinister to worry about in a lad of that age. He's just trying his luck. It doesn't mean he's a bad guy. Call it, see if it's a bluff. If it is he'll back down. If it isn't and he dumps you...well, you can do better than this and you're better off without him. No-lose either way, eh?? Best wishes, and be true to yourself.X
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ok i dont know why mothers dont teach their daughters this enough or at all, but boys your OWN age only have one thing on their mind and im pretty sure you know what it is. they peek sexually alot sooner then you, so they want sex earlier. its biology.
just think about that when a guy starts talking to you and you should get the idea of what they REALLY want from you alot sooner. usually the ones that come on strong and hit on you right away are the ones that just want sex. the more reserved ones are usually the sweet guys that will wait if you make it clear.
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with not being ready. A lot of 15 year old girls aren't ready to have sex and they shouldn't be ready anyways. Most can't handle the emotional side of it and having sex at 15 will hurt very much since your body is still growing.
Now, that's besides the point. You told him no. If a guy says he doesn't know how long he can hold it off for, he doesn't sound like a guy who can wait for you. I mean he's pretty much saying, "I get that you want to wait, but I'm not waiting forever."
Just straight up tell him you're not ready for anything sexual. He needs to respect that. Just tell him you'll let him know when you're ready and you'd appreciate it if he didn't keep asking. If he does ask again, he's not worth it.
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Below is a link to a website I think both you and your boyfriend should look at and read through. It is all about first time sex and are you ready. It covers a variety of topics you should know before you even consider having sex.
Yes I know you said you are not ready for sex and that is one of the sections this website addresses. If you and your boyfriend read that section together hopefully he will understand why you are not ready and not pressure you to have sex with him.
Now there is something else he should understand. He has asked and you have said no. This has to be the end of his asking for him to continue is sexual harassment a lawful charge for which he can be arrested, even at his age.
Sexual harassment of teenagers by other teenagers is very high on the list of things teachers, school administrators and the police have very high on their list of priorities to be on the lookout for. Sexual harassment includes sexual bulling as well. ONCE SOMEONE SAYS NO TO SEX ANY FURTHER PLEADING, PROMPTING OR OTHER TYPE OF PURSUATION IS ILLEGAL.
Many boys have a line they use that is something like this one; "If you love me you will have sex with me." Any boy who says something like this to a girl does not love that girl he lusts for her. Boys do not have the same definition of love that girls do. To boys love and lust are the same. If a boy ever uses a line like that on you tell him to take a hike he does not love you.
Stick to your values for our values are all we have to call truly our own and they are what defines us as a person. Nowhere is it written that you have to do anything you are uncomfortable with just to keep him as a boyfriend. IF he leaves you for a girl who will give him a BJ or let him finger her then I would say he never really loved you in the first place.
There are, as my mother would have told you, more fish in the sea. Re-bait your hook and go fishing. There is a boy out there who will respect you for who you are and not pressure you to do anything you are not comfortable with.
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