about

I'm Jack/Jamie.

I'm 28 years old. I graduated from Michigan State University with my Bachelor of Science in Chemistry. GO GREEN! Now I'm a high school chemistry teacher in New York City living with my husband in a small studio apartment we pay way too much money for.

I've been on this site for 14 years as of March 23, 2020.
You may have seen me as CuxMiBeckNow7, but I've since shortened my name.


my forum
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Here is my Recommended Columnist of the Decade for the 2020s:
Laura!




--Jack

advice

Hey, my ex-boyfriend recently came back into town about 2 weeks ago and he will usually let me know when he is in town. This time he did'nt even call me or bother to stop by and see me.
I did'nt even know he was here until one of my friends said he came to hang out with them. I was just wondering, do you think he hates me or do you know why he doesnt want me to know he is in town?

I mean, you ARE his ex. He doesn't HAVE to tell you he's in town.

Maybe he wanted a trip back to town where he didn't have to see you. Not that there's something wrong with you, but maybe he just is trying to slowly show that he's not really into being friends.

Talk to him because we don't know what he's thinking. Maybe there's a reason he didn't tell you; he could have just forgotten.

--Jack
(17/m)

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what is oral sex

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=oral+sex

"An optional part of sex, in which the mouth, lips and tongue are used to stimulate a partner's genitals."

--Jack
(17/m)

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15/f
Okay, so theres this guy in my Theathre class. Hes a senior and I'm a sophomore. We do alot of exersices with partners, and sometimes my teacher lets us pick our partners. The 2 times that we were allowed to pick our partners he wanted to be my partner. (the 2nd time i wasnt his partner cause I already had a partner). During theathre, we make alotttt of eye contact with each other. I also always pass him in the hallway after 9th period. He always looks me directly in the eye! Today, he was literally face-to-face with me. When we passed each other, our shoulders almost touched. Thats how close we were. And he was the one who came closer to me.

So, I sort of developed a crush on him. The thing is, hes a senior. I honestly dont know if he likes me. But I kinda have a feeling that he mayyy be interested in me. What do you think i should do? I think it's too early in the year to talk to him like for real, cause I haven't known him that long. Also, do you think that hes interested? One of my friends is telling me that I shouldn't go for him cause hes a senior and next year he's gunna be gone. Then I have like 3 of my other friends telling me to go for him because they think he's interested in me. So I dont know what to do! Please help! Thanks soo much ♥

ps - sorry its kinda long haha

The age difference is kind of.. large.. especially at this young of an age.

I would try to find someone closer to your age.

However, this doesn't mean you can't be friends! =]

--Jack
(17/m)

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my cat has been having muscle spasiums what do I do?

Hmm, if they seem serious, I would see a vet. There's really not much more you can do.

--Jack
(17/m)

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Do you think that it is ok to go to prom w/o a date? 17/f

Yes, of course it is! You can enjoy the time with your friends. Not everyone goes with a date, it's not required.

--Jack
(17/m)

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I'm roughly 5'4 and 14 years old (I'm going to be 15 in exactly one month) I weigh 115/120lbs, it fluctuates weekly. All my friends say I'm skinny and beautiful, but sometimes I really don't like it. I have a lot of muscles especially on my arms from sports, and I hate the extra skin on my stomach and my legs. How much should someone my age weigh? Any suggestions?

Your BMI at 115 pounds is: 19.7
Your BMI at 120 pounds is: 20.6

Both fall under the "Normal weight = 18.5-24.9" category.

You are absolutely fine. There is no need for you to lose any weight.

--Jack
(17/m)

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17/m. Hi, me and my girlfriend have been going out for about 3 weeks - we were friends for 7 months before that. Whenever we talk on the phone, there are times where there's silence. And no-one says anything. It's rather wierd - on msn or in person it's ok. Is this normal? Will our relationship ok?

Thanks

You can't be expected to CONSTANTLY have things to say on the phone.

Just like there are pauses in face-to-face conversation, there are pauses in phone conversation; it's completely normal and your relationship will be fine.

--Jack
(17/m)

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If a female masterbates can it hold off her period? If it can't is possible she's pregant? even though she's never had sex and has never seen semen let alone come incontact with it. plus she's only thirteen. is it possible?

If a girl has NEVER come into contact with sperm/semen, she cannot be pregnant.

At your age, your period isn't completely regular, so there's no worries if it gets to be a few days off or a week or two off or something.

I'm not sure about the link between masturbation and your period, but I'm almost certain there isn't one.

--Jack
(17/m)

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how do i find out if a boy likes me or not? i mean its really confusing cuz i have a major crush on someone and little crushes on other people and some people say they like me but i dont know if they do or not. how can i find out if they do or not? im too much of a coward to ask them.

I'm going to give you a list of what guys tend to do when they like girls:

1. They don't call you "sexy". They call you "beautiful", "gorgeous", "amazing", etc.

2. They make an effort to hug you. They might high-5 instead, but it really depends on the guy in question.

3. They DO find any reason to touch you in some way. Mostly it ISN'T in a sexual way. Its more of just an excuse to remember what you feel like, I guess. Its hard to explain...

4. He is always smiling around you. If you're feeling bad and he's around- he'll be smiling because he knows that he's there to help you- and that's like brownie points for a guy if they can help a girl out. That, like the above, is hard to explain.

5. He'll tell you things about himself that he normally wouldn't tell everyone. He opens up to you. Guys don't get a chance to do that when pressured to "be manly".

6. If you have a feeling that a guy likes you- you're probably right. Guys aren't the best at hiding it- and girls are even better at figuring these type of things out.

If you like this guy- and he does all or most of those things- my best bet is that he does like you. That means one and only one thing: Ask him to make sure, and then try the relationship out. Who knows- it could be great!


--Jack
(17/m)

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could be real easy to answer this one but define it for me :P

I think i have an idea of how you know. is it when you catch them looking at you and they look away instantly? or if you catch them and they look for a a second or so then look away with the same blank expression you caught them with to try and hide it a bit.

am i right? kus theres been a few incidence's like that around college in the past couple of weeks and i think iv only just figured out what went on.

If they're trying to hide something, it's a little suspicious, so they possibly could have been checking you out.

But if they look away quickly, they could still have been checking you out.

Most girls have their own way of doing it, so it varies.

But the first thing I talked about is kind of a common one. =]

--Jack
(17/m)

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The next doomsday is December 21st, 2012, in 3 years, and I know it's stupid, but I'm REALLY freaked out because there's lots of proof. All I do is worry now! ( Stuff at http://movies.yahoo.com/feature/2012-roland-emmerich.html)

Can anyone help me?

If you honestly believe this is going to happen, then you might as well just live your life to the fullest in the next three years.

But, I wouldn't believe this crap. The Mayans may have predicted it, but a prediction doesn't mean ANYTHING.

And there's no scientific proof that the world will end on that day.

--Jack
(17/m)

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M&M don't have eggs in them do they?

My guess is that they don't.

Check the ingredients list, and check to make sure it doesn't say "Manufactured in the same plant as products made with Eggs" or whatever.

But, I'm fairly certain M&Ms don't have eggs in them.

--Jack
(17/m)

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how do you get another background for the advice colums because i dont want any of the ones they give you

You mean the layout? The only way you can get another one is if you get a paid account and design your own layout.

If you're talking about a background, then you can make a picture the background.

But, by doing that, it makes the words on your column really hard to read, and I really advise against that.

If you want to know how to do what I just talked about, inbox me.

--Jack
(17/m)

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I have a girlfriend but i'm falling for another girl again and i really like them both what should i do?

Talk to your girlfriend.

If you like someone else, it's not fair to her if you keep dating her while you like someone else.

I think if you break up with your girlfriend, you shouldn't start dating or getting serious with this other girl until you are OVER your girlfriend now.

--Jack
(17/m)

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hey,
i was wondering if you would be able to help me with a screen name i've had my current one for soo long.

here are a few things about me:
my name is katie
i love the words peace and love and i would like them in my screen name, and possibly my name to but not spelled kt or kd lol.
um im 17,i love texting,love the 80's and the beatles and i love many types of music, if this helps at all lol.

please e-mail me at Benditlike_Buckingham08@yahoo.com

thanks!

You could have an inside joke of yours combined with your name somehow.

So one of mine could be:

JKub_eXtreme17

[nickname/inside joke/age]

Take your favorite activity/heritage and add your name to it:

peaceLOVEkatie17
katielove17
peacekatie17
80sKatie17
KatieFromThe80s



And add your age, favorite number, or graduation year on the end:

peaceLOVEkatie2010
katielove2010
peaceKatie2010
80sKatie2010


--Jack
(17/m)

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me & my boyfriend are both virgins, we have done everythink else wev bin goin out 4 6 months. hes 16 and im 15. wel we had dry sex ages ago he came all over me and did sorta entr me 2 but only a little bit. aneways that was 2months ago i havent had a period since. can i be pregnant?

If his penis went in your vagina, even for a second, you risk pregnancy.

But, as for your period, girl's periods are sometimes not always regular at your age.

Take a pregnancy test and see a doctor.

--Jack
(17/m)

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I've been going to my local video shop for years now, and this incredibly attractive guy just started working there. I didn't think much of him until a few friends pointed out (on different occasions) that he was checking me out. Whenever I'm at the counter he flirts with me, but I am the most socially retarded person ever and I can't flirt.

I Googled him the other day and found his MySpace page, and read his bio and his interests and such, and we share so many things in common it's absurd. I also found out his age. He's 20. I am 15. I'm in my second last year of high school. He's a second-year university student.

My question is this: Would it be acceptable if I made a move?

NOTE: I'm from Queensland, Australia & in our education system I will graduate two days after I turn 17. This isn't weird, I haven't been skipped up a grade, I just happen to be born at the end of the school year.

It would be kind of inappropriate for you to make a move because of your age difference. You see, when you are as young as you are, 5 years is comparable to 15 or 20 years as an adult, which is very uncommon.

It's probably best that you find someone either your age or closer to your age. Because this guy can get into serious legal trouble.

I'm sorry =/

--Jack
(17/m)

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hello good people of advicenators! :)
For quite some time now, i've been wanting to do a summer program at a college; for arts (drawing/painting/learning to draw things- that kind of art). Thing is, i can't find a college program anywhere-and i'm not quite sure what to look for online,or anywhere for that matter.I know i want to take a summer course- but the thing is-i'll be a junior in highschool after this summer. What i'm mainly wondering is-

Can a junior in highschool even take classes at a college?

Also,What is an "Undergraduate" Program? Would this have to do with being in highschol and wanting to take a course?

Lastly- How am I to find a program in the summer for arts to begin with? I really want to do this- if it helps any I live in Massachusetts.For those of you who live here, do you know of any in this state?

So many questions! Well,thank you all for your time. =]

I have really no knowledge of art programs in the summer, so that part I will have to leave to someone else.

However, yes, a junior can take classes at a college. It's called Dual-Enrollment, at least in Michigan, and you'll have to talk to your counselors/principal in order to get the details worked out. Usually they will make you do the research on the class you want, and the school may pay for it. I know my school does.

An "undergraduate program" is the program that someone does in their "undergraduate" years of college, which are the first four, or two, depending on the program.

Undergraduate programs include, but are not limited to:

Pre-Med
Pre-Vet
Pre-Law
Pre-Dental

After your undergraduate program, you start your graduate program, which is like Med School or Law School or Vet School, etc.

It doesn't have to do with being in high school and wanting to take a course, unless you actually get college credits for your class. Because, then they can apply to your undergraduate credits needed to graduate.

So when/if you choose a class that you'll get college credit for, make sure the colleges you want to go to will accept that credit.

--Jack
(17/m)

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girl-15 my boyfreind broke up with me, week later my best freind tells me he loves me. i'm not ready for the relationship with my best freind cause i dont want too ruin the freindship, i've loved him for 3 years before my boyfreind, he was one of the reasons we broke up, i love him with all my heart..but i want my ex too take me back, and after a while i think he might. okay so what do i do 1.make my ex like me again 2. make my best freind wait like a year or just forget about me...helpp mee.... ps its my birthday in like 4 days and my ex told me he got me a present..is that normal? and can i accept it if i want it? thankk you :)

You and your ex are exes for a reason. Why? Because of your best friend. If you've "loved him for 3 years", then GO OUT WITH HIM.

Don't torture your ex by going out with him again.

I have a theory why you want to be with your ex again. Firstly, it's because it's something you can't have, and you want it for that reason. Secondly, it's because your best friend likes you, so now there's no "challenge" in getting with him. You won't want him until you can't have him.

So please, mature a little bit, and just leave your ex alone.

If you want the birthday present, go ahead.

--Jack
(17/m)

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I'm 14. I want to be the kind of girl people can easily talk to. I mean people talk to me. If I IM them I can talk so easily but in person...its different. I'm usually quiet but sometimes I speak up more. So what should I do? My confidence level is pretty low. But I'm working on it. Can anybody help me with this?

www.wikihow.com/Build-Self-Confidence

From there:

1. Recognize your insecurities. What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, to emotional abuse (past or present) from a loved one or friends at school. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down.
2. Talk about it with friends and loved ones. Wear it on your sleeve. Each day you should chip away at it; wear it down. There's no quick fix. Get to the root of the problem; focus on it and understand that you need to resolve each issue before you can move on.
3. Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road.
4. Identify your successes Everyone is good at something, so discover the things at which you excel, then focus on your talents. Give yourself permission to take pride in them. Give yourself credit for your successes. Inferiority is a state of mind in which you've declared yourself a victim. Do not allow yourself to be victimized.
5. Be thankful for what you have. A lot of the times, at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, good luck, money, etc. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and unsatisfied. Finding that inner peace will do wonders for your confidence.
6. Be Positive, even if you don't feel positive. Avoid self-pity, or the pity and sympathy of others. Never allow others to make you feel inferior--they can only do so if you let them. If you continue to loathe and belittle yourself, others are going to do and believe likewise. Instead, speak positively about yourself, about your future, and about your progress. Do not be afraid to project your strengths and qualities to others. By doing so, you reinforce those ideas in your mind and encourage your growth in a positive direction.
7. Look in the mirror and smile. Studies surrounding what's called the "facial feedback theory" suggest that the expressions on your face can actually encourage your brain to register certain emotions. So by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, you might feel happier with yourself and more confident in the long run.
8. Fake it. Along the same lines of smiling to make yourself feel happy, acting confident might actually make you believe it. Pretend you're a completely confident version of you; go through the motions and see how you feel.
9. Express yourself, whether it's through art, music, writing, etc. Find something you enjoy. Everyone is born with talents and strengths. You can develop and excel in yours. If it's difficult to name two or three things you have some ability in or just plain love to do, think about things others do that you would like to do too and take some lessons or join an enthusiasts club. When you're following your passion, not only will it have a therapeutic effect, but you'll feel unique and accomplished, all of which can help build your self confidence. Plus, adding a variety of interests to your life will not only make you more confident, but it will increase your chances of meeting compatible friends!
10. Stick to your principles. It might be tough, but if you don't have something you can believe in, you don't have anything. If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything. No matter what's happened in your life, you can always lay claim to the fact that from this day forward, you've followed your principles to the best of your ability.
11. Help others. When you know you're kind to the people around you, and are making a positive difference in other people's lives (even if it's just being kinder to the person who serves you coffee in the morning) you'll know that you are a positive force in the world--which will boost your self confidence. Go volunteer twice a month at an elementary school. Bake something for your neighbor for no reason. Confidence that you have earned is the most long-lasting.
12. Stop worrying. What worries you today will be forgotten by you and people around you tomorrow. Can you remember what you were so worried about the same day the same time last week? If not, then you should not worry right now. You will not worry about it even one week from now.
13. Our body posture represents what we are at that particular time. Simple habit that we can learn and start to implement it are stand and sit correctly. Your great and nice body posture will speak for you. How you stand sends out a message to the World, and in turn, back to you.


www.wikihow.com/Start-a-Conversation-When-You-Have-Nothing-to-Talk-About

1. Always start off with something that others don't use often. Example: You see a girl in a bar and she's sitting with some friends. You walk up to her and say, "I would like to sit with you, but before I sit down, what are you drinking?" "Bud Light (insert drink)? Good choice. I'll be back with 2 Bud Lights (insert drink) and I'll hope that this seat isn't taken when I get back."
2. Start with a "hello," and simply tell the new person your name then ask them theirs. Offer your hand to shake, upon his/her responding to you. (If you go to other countries, greet the person in tune with the particular culture, e.g. in India greet by saying 'namaste' with folded hands). If you already know the person, skip this step and proceed to step 3.
3. Look around. See if there is anything worth pointing out. Sure, talking about the weather is a cliche, but if there's something unusual about it--bam!--you've got a great topic of conversation.
4. Offer a compliment. Don't lie and say you love someone's hair when you think it's revolting, but if you like his or her shoes, or a handbag, say so. A sincere compliment is a wonderful way to get someone to warm up to you. But be careful not to say something so personal that you scare the person off or make him or her feel uncomfortable. It is best not to compliment a person's looks or body.
5. Ask questions! Most people love to talk about themselves --- get them going. "What classes are you taking this year?" "Have you seen (Insert-Something-Here)? What did you think of it?" Again, keep the questions light and not invasive. Do not ask too many questions if he or she is not responsive to them.
6. Jump on any conversation-starters he or she might offer; take something he or she has said and run with it. Agree, disagree, ask a question about it, or offer an opinion, just don't let it go by without notice.
7. Look your newfound friend in the eye, it engenders trust (but don't stare). Also, use the person's name a time or two during the conversation; it will help you remember the name, and will draw the person's attention to what you are talking about.
8. Don't forget to have fun with your conversation!


Tips

* Just relax. Chances are that whatever small-talk you're making isn't going to stick out in anyone's mind a few months from now. Just say whatever comes into your head, so long as it's not offensive or really weird. (Unless, of course, the person you're attempting to converse with is into weird stuff.)
* Remember, if you think of something in your head while you're talking, it's probably related.
* It will help if you watch some TV, listen to radio shows, and/or read a lot -- newspapers, magazines, and/or books. You need to have some idea of what is going on in the world.
* If you are shy, it will be helpful to have thought about a topic or two that you could talk about.
* Follow the lead that your listener is expressing. If he or she appears interested, then continue. If he or she is looking at a clock or watch, or worse, looking for an escape strategy, then you have been going on for too long.
* Interesting and funny quotes or facts can lighten things up, and make way for things to talk about.
* If talking over the phone, keep the person involved in the conversation at all costs. If you can't come up with a good topic, try the "questions" game. Just keep asking them questions; random questions work just fine as long as they are appropriate. This technique can save a phone conversation. The questions should be open ended questions that do not require a yes or no answer. For example "How do you know the hosts?" This way you can ask questions about what they just said or follow up with how you know the hosts (for example) instead of acting as if the conversation is an interrogation.
* Half of an effective conversation is the way you non-verbally communicate, and not necessarily what you say. Practice better non-verbal skills that are friendly and confident.
* Read newspapers and magazines to increase your knowledge so you can have more interesting things to talk about


Warnings

* Don't be overly invasive with questions.
* Don't use tons of fillers like "umm" or "soo". It might make the person you're talking to feel awkward or obligated to say something. Instead talk slowly and pause. This will create a little tension and make your newly found friend more invested in your conversation.
* Don't desperately ask personal questions.
* Keep eye-contact
* Don't ever comment negatively on the person or someone's looks... you never know if they have a personal attachment to it or if they are friends with the person you are criticizing




[A lot of the parts about starting conversations are dealing with trying to show someone you're into them. But if it's just conversation in general, don't pay attention to some of them.]


Hope some of that helps!

--Jack
(17/m)

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