I'm not here to tell you what to think or do, but to give you as much honest, accurate information as possible. If I don't know an answer to a specific question, I'll research it before replying. I won't sugarcoat things; my job is to tell it like it is.
I've got a particular interest in sexual health and sexuality. I know a lot about fertility and pregnancy - and firsthand now, as I've just had twins. I'm also an accredited sexual health worker.
Gender: Female
Occupation: Counsellor, writer, mother of twins.
Age: 31
Member Since: August 9, 2004
Answers: 1493
Last Update: November 5, 2009
Visitors: 173033
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im trying to decide im bi or gay. i like this guy ill tell u his name its eddie. but hes not the point iv been second guessin my self iv always thought i was straight then recently guys became attractive n girls stillwere. but in the last couple days i dont think i can realy picture myself with a girl. so i need help on how i should decide if i am bi or gay.
mizike (link)
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In a biological sense, there's nothing to decide. You will like who you like - whether that means you are bi or gay.
But emotionally it can feel good to feel you've 'found yourself.' This can take a lot of time to happen.
The best way to get to know yourself is to just continue to be honest with yourself about your certainties AND your confusions, and to just follow where your heart leads you.
Eventually you'll find a label you're comfortable with; this might just take some time.
Best of luck.
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The guy that I like is about 25 pounds overweight and isnt athetlic at all. I asked him if he wanted to play tennis with me because I have been taking lessons. The whole time we played he critized me, saying mean things like "your stamina is terrible", what kind of lessons have you been taking", and " I thought you would have been way better". He was really upsetting me so finally I said that I was still learning and to give me a break. The thing was that he was a lot worse than me, and I was trying to say nice things to encourage me.
A couple days later he told me that he thought I should lose 15 pounds. I am average, not fat. He is way more overweight than me and I have never said anything to him because I know it would just hurt him. My feelings were very hurt with all his negativity. Should I move on? (link)
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You want the short answer? Yes.
Whether he was criticizing you because of his own insecurities or because he's just insensitive makes no difference. This early on in a relationship people are usually on their best behaviour.
For him to be saying such hurtful things this early on is a big red flag.
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My dad made me cry my eyes out today. This is what happened.
Well last August I was asked by my cousin to be a bridesmaid for her wedding in April of this year. I said yes, and at the time was unemployed. Well I have a job now at a really good company. But I'm still on a 3 month probation. My grandma (who is paying for the wedding) was expecting me to take 3 days off on a weekend this Febuary just for a dress fitting!! She lives 6 hours away, and I would have had to take the greyhound bus. I told my dad this and he started screaming at me, saying that I was going to lose my job over this. I have a mental illness, and this is the first job I've had in 5 years. He said I would never get another job again and that he wanted me to drop out of the wedding, and that the job was too important. Well I started to cry because I really want to be a bridesmaid but also don't want to lose my job. I asked him if he could phone grandma and make some sort of comprimise, like maybe get the dress fitted her. Then he said "the fact that you're crying shows how delicate you are". He was really mean about the whole thing.
I still want to be in the wedding. I talked to my grandma and she is going to send up the fabric for me to get a local seamstress to make the dress so I won't have to take time off work until the wedding. But I'm still really upset at my dad. How should I act around him? And does anyone else think what he said was out of line? (link)
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I think you were put into a delicate situation, and nevermind anything about your mental health. Being a new job is always a little uncertain, and no one would want to take a big chunk of time off.
If you had needed to take the time off, you could simply have asked your boss - adding that you would respect whatever she/he said. There's nothing wrong with that.
It sounds like you figured out a very good compromise with arranging a fitting closer to your home.
You may need to confront your father. He is probably being protective and feeling that he is looking after your best interests, but you can let him know you don't appreciate painful words or yelling. I would wait to approach him until you felt a little less raw about the whole thing.
You can also point out that tears aren't a sign of delicacy, they are a sign of a human being who is frustated. You did well standing up for yourself, finding a compromise, and sorting out this messy situation. That's something to be proud of, and you can also point that out to your father.
Parents can be overbearing and think they always know what is best for their children, but if you approach him in a calm and adult manner and say you want to have a conversation about how you feel, he should respect that.
Best of luck.
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Thanks for all your advice, I found you were one of the most helpful people who answered.
Like I said, I'm going after my 2 year degree in child development. I've heard through the grapevine that my ex-best friend enrolled in the same school and started taking courses this quarter and she's majoring in the same thing. I've ran into her in town twice before and just walked past her and ignored her (this is a small town). But each time it's been really painful, it just brings everything back up all over again. Fortunately I haven't had her in any of my classes this quarter. But what should I do if I go to a class in the future and she's there? I don't want to be in the same room with her, and I don't think I could concentrate on my work if I was seething with anger and pain the entire time. I would probably have the option of dropping that class and taking something else but by then I would have to sit through the first day. How would that look? Ugh! I wish I was one of those people who didn't care what people thought of her but I do. I wish I could just sit through this hypothetical class with her and act like she didn't exist. What do I do if that happens? (link)
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Okay. I'm going to answer from a semi-counselling point of view. First of all, you are allowing this woman to have power over you. If you would drop a class you loved - or have to suffer through it - then this woman is having control over your day-to-day life.
Allowing a person who's told you you'll burn in hell, that's dropped you out of her life after an extended friendship - is that what you want to do?
You are the only person who has control over your reactions. You have no control over whether or not this woman will end up in any of your classes (though perhaps not, since she's started after you?). All you have control over if how you respond to this challenge. You have the ability within you to not give other people power over how you feel.
At the end of the day, this woman either dislikes you or does not think of you at all. Letting her control your life in this way is only saying that you aren't worth thinking about, you aren't worth loving. And that's just not true.
How to reclaim your power and self-esteem? Consider counselling - your college should offer it for free to students. Counselling isn't for 'crazy' people, it's for people who have real life problems they need help sorting out.
To me, it seems as though there are two issues at play. The first is that you have not gotten over the friendship; you still seem to be deeply hurt. Until you work through those feelings and emerge on the other side, it's going to be difficult to change how you react to this person.
The other issue is that you wish you didn't care what other people think. Wishes are just deep feelings that we're afraid to express. You can choose to stop wishing and start feeling that you are the one who gets to decide how you feel about you. You have to wake up with yourself, look yourself in the mirror, and spend every minute of your life with you.
This woman spends no time with you, dismissed you. This says nothing about you. It is not a judgement passed on your life or lifestyle. She chose to end a friendship, and that's the end of it. You can choose to work through the obviously painful feelings she's left you with, and that's a positive choice to make because otherwise you will just stay in the anxious and hurt state you're in now.
You CAN do this.
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thanks for your advice. I guess I just feel like I must be a really horrible person if my own best friend rejects me KWIM? I'm in the minority on so many of those issues that I feel like it will only take one to cause a conflict in a future friendship. My husband wants me to make new friends and at one point I thought I had met someone I clicked with. She had a little boy my daughters age and she said outright she was desperate for a friend too. But then it turned out that she liked to party and wanted me to find a sitter to take off with her overnight to seattle. No way I could leave my baby with a sitter that long. Also she started preaching about jesus (I know, the irony!) and that made me uncomfortable. Finally she was a chronic shop lifter and liked to brag about it. The last time I saw her she was trying to get me to trade a peice of my furniture for something she had stolen. *sighs* I go to college 2 nights a week and sit next to other moms (I'm majoring in child development so most of my peers have kids). I know their names and some stuff on the surface but I haven't the slightest idea of how to get from that point to being friends. It was so easy when I was young, you would just find a kid on the playground and say "want to play?" and you'd be the best of friends. But how do adults make friends? (link)
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You're right. Kids make friends first based on activity together - playing tag, hide and seek, pushing each other on the swings.
But those tricks aren't just for kids - adults can be the same way. People of like minds can be met by actively doing things that inspire you. If you put yourself in an arena of life that you feel really connected and positive about (like your college course!) you will find yourself surrounded with people who have a similar interest.
Of course everyone in your course won't necessarily share all of your views, but at least it's a good starting point. You know the women around you are interested in children and how they develop, and that's a good enough starting point.
Why not get to class ten minutes early and strike a conversation with someone around you? Ask them what they thought of the reading, how they did their homework, what got them interested in the course in the first place. This can also happen AFTER class, or in breaks. If you reguarly get interval breaks, why not ask some other people to grab a cup of coffee with you?
Just because you've had some negative experiences doesn't mean every prospective friendship will end in ruins. You can't expect everyone you meet to be friendship material, so you need to concentrate on getting to know several people rather than honing in on one person until you discover basic incompatibilities.
Maybe taking some time to think over your habits you repeat in friendships could help. Are you attracted to the same sort of people, even though it never works out? What has worked or not worked in the past? What sort of friend do you really want, and what sort of friend are you prepared to be?
Having clarity on yourself and your needs will help you find the right group of friends, if you're willing to work for it. You sound lovely and genuine, and I wish you the best.
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I know this is kind of early to be asking, but for prom should you wear short dress or a long dress? I want to wear a short dress, but i dont know if that would be weird (link)
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In order to look fabulous, you need to feel comfortable. Many people attending proms will wear floor length dresses, but there's no law against wearing something shorter - especially if it looks good on you.
Prom is more fancy than other dances, but 'fancy' and 'fabulous' come in all sizes. If you feel gorgeous when you wear a dress, you probably look even better than you feel.
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How can you tell if one of your contacts is torn? As soon as possible would be appreciated. Thanks! (link)
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If you feel discomfort or pain when you put the contact in your eye, something's wrong. The contact lens could be inside out, there could be a tear, or there could be a small fleck of something irritating your eye.
To tell if a contact is torn, take it out of your eye and look at it. It should be smooth and gently curved, with no lines, scratches, rough edges, or noticeable tears.
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OKay Im 13 female.. and my best friend is .. 12 male .. im serious he iS MY BEST FRIEND!
Well i accused my best friend of someting and ive been totally killing him and he just looks at me an f rowns.. and i cussed him out.. then i found out he didnt tell my secret.. someone else did.. and he told me wen i accused him HE WUD NEVER TELL anything about his BEST FRIEND and he said he loved me.. what do i do to apollogize.. and he tried to kiss me on the cheek and hug me.. and i turned around ! WUT DO I DO!!?!/
I WILL RATE 5!! (link)
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It sounds like your best friend is a really good guy. If you apologize and explain how sorry you are, I'm willing to bet he'll accept your apology.
You might want to think about why you were so quick to jump to the conclusion that he would share your secrets. If you trust someone enough to tell them secrets, then you need to believe the best of them.
Now time has proved that your best friend is trustworthy. He's didn't tell your secret, he's affectionate. Friends like that don't come along every day....so just apologize in a natural way and things should be fine.
Best of luck.
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There's this girl that I dated almost before kind of. She really likes me but I dont like her. I really like this other girl. Im not sure if she likes me though. I keep thinking about her though. Yet this all is confusing but I told both of them that I was gay. Which I thought I was for along time.Yet now I think that I really like the girl. I dont know even know what to say to either of them. What do you think I should say to both of them? I really need some advice. (link)
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As far as the first girl goes, it's never a good idea to date someone just because they like you. That's not enough. You need to have feelings for them, too. While it can feel uncomfortable to hurt people's feelings, it's far better to be honest with yourself and them.
As for girl number two, if you like her, why not ask her out? Let her know you've been thinking of her a lot and see what she says.
Having told them you were gay might have put the brakes on things, but perhaps you are bisexual. At this point, it's hard to work through your own confusion if you're thinking too much. If you remain honest with yourself about your feelings and follow where your heart leads you, things will work out.
Best of luck.
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My friend, Austin, used to be overweight and lost a bunch of weight two summers ago. I lost a lot of weight too but not as much as her.
The thing that bothers me is that she calls everyone fat, if someone has an inch of flab -anywhere-, she'll call them a cow. Especially is she's mad at them.
She also thinks that anyone who is overweight is disgusting and lazy. She won't even consider -looking- at a guy who is a pound overweight.
She's not exactly skinny. She worries about her "gut" which is like a pound of flesh on her tummy (it's tiny) and I'm not fat but I'm bigger than some of the girls she makes fun of. I am more understanding though and I wouldn't secretly pick on people because of their weight.
Austin and I are like best friends. So does she think I'm a cow too? How can she look down on all these girls who aren't even all that fat and not look down on me? (link)
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Austin obviously still has serious issues about her weight; just because she's lost the pounds from her body doesn't mean she's lost the problems in her mind.
Part of her might be thinking, Well, I lost the weight, so why can't other people?
But at the end of the day, everyone is responsible for their own life and their own choices. You can't control how she thinks anymore than she can control the size of your thighs.
One way to move forward to is talk to Austin. Let her know how hurt you feel when she makes anti-overweight people comments, and also tell her that you feel worried she may be judging you in her head.
A good friend would make an effort to reassure you how she feels about you, as well as watching how she spoke around you in the future. If she continues putting people down or begins to say mean things directly to you, it may be time to rethink your friendship.
A secure person doesn't need to harshly judge other people by the standards they have set for themselves. We're all different, but we're all human.
Best of luck.
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First of all I'll give a little background. I met my friend almost 10 years ago, we were both teenagers at the time and instantly clicked for some reason. We had little inside jokes and shared everything. I felt like she was the sister I never had. We talked about dating and as we grew older we discussed our marriages. She had a baby boy while I went through infertility and a miscarriage. That put a strain on our friendship because I was jealous and she didn't understand why i found it hard to be around her baby. We didn't speak for about 6 months and I finally wrote her a letter of apology. Then she moved away, we kept in contact and after a year she moved back and everything was just like it was before. By the way we were each other's maid of honors at our weddings. When I finally got pregnant she threw my baby shower and held my hand while I went to doctors appts and went through labor. We had our differences. She was very outgoing and I was shy. She had a lot of friends and I had a hard time making them. She was religious and I was undecided. I went through christianity to wicca and finally settled on atheism. She was christian but not a hard core bible thumper. After my baby was born we talked about parenting a lot. She believed in spanking and letting your child cry it out, I didn't. I expressed my disagreement but told her I thought everyone had the right to parent as they saw fit. We talked about politics and after 9-11 we both agreed that Bush should go into Iraq & Afghanistan. We both agreed that abortion was wrong. We talked about religion and she said she thought her other friend was going to hell because she was mormon. At this point she had started going to church religiously. I asked her where she thought I was going since I was atheist and she told me, hell. I hung up on her and cried but we patched things up a few hours later. I was hurt that despite knowing what kind of person I was that she still thought just because her bible said so that I was going to a place where they keep murderers and rapists in the same place as nonbelievers. I couldn't believe that she judged me like that. I thought she accepted me no matter what, after all I accepted her no matter what. Sure we had our differences but we also had things in common. I became more disenchanted with organized religion and talked about a paper I was writing that was anti-bible with her. After a lot of thinking I decided I was against the war in Iraq and we talked about that. I had pictures of her kids all over my walls and vise versa, we both babysat for each other and talked on the phone for hours at a time. Whenever she was upset about something I was there for her and vise versa. Her brother died of a drug overdose and I supported her through that. A few months later she started avoiding me. I would call and she would say she was busy. I just had a feeling she was mad at me. We had always said after the last time we didn't speak for 6 months that we would work things out next time and we would be friends until we were old ladies. So I asked her what was wrong and she said she was just busy. I accepted that answer. Then I get an email from her. She says that although she still cares about me, she's been wondering why we're friends still. Maybe it was just because we had known each other so long because we didn't have anything in common any more as far as politics, parenting and religion go. She said something like she didn't feel like we were good friends any more. I felt like she was saying that I couldn't be her best friend because I didn't vote to re-elect Bush, spank my kids and go to church every sunday like she did. I cried as I read her letter and felt like I had been slapped in the face. Like she was insulting everything that I stand for. I fired back and told her that I couldn't be her clone and that although we were different I never expected her to be just like me and change her views. She responded with "sorry you feel that way, have a nice life" that just made it worse, she didn't even care about ending a 10 year friendship! Just like that. Now I have no friends, nobody to talk to if I'm feeling blue or need to vent about my husband or chat about parenting or politics. I don't know how to make new friends and don't really want to because I'm afraid I'll just be rejected again for my different views. Sometimes I miss my friend so much and just want to call her and make up but I know I can't. What can I do to make this feeling go away? It's been almost a year and I'm miserable (link)
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It seems like you're asking a few different questions here, and I'll try to answer some of them.
First, research shows that most people's personalities are not really 'set' until at least their mid-twenties. What this means for the everyday person is that friendships we had when we were younger are based on who we were at that time. As we grow older and into ourselves, we will naturally change and develop. This means we might grow apart from people we had previously been very close to. There's no blame to be placed in this, as it happens to everyone at some point in their lives.
Next, it seems like while your friendship was deep and valued, there was also a lot of struggle. Religion, politics, and childrearing are three areas that will seriously affect longterm relationships - along with finances, these are some top reasons for divorce. And the more strongly people hold their beliefs, the more likely they are to choose to find like-minded people.
Your beliefs are worth no less than your friends; some would argue that they seemed to have more human warmth in them. Friendship, while it can provide as an arena to challenge ourselves, shouldn't feel like a judgemental warzone. Someone you love telling you you're destined for hell is enough to mess up any relationship - be in ten minutes, ten years, or thirty years long.
Finally, I understand having a fear to meet new people. But you won't be rejected for your 'different views' if you find people who share similar views. A good way to start if you're shy is to join email groups with people - either people in your area, people with similar views about the war, a mother's room, etc. This allows you to practice being yourself and being liked for who you are, rather than being judged by someone else's standards of who they think you should be.
Another great way to meet people is by putting your child in playgroups; this way you can meet other local mothers and strike up friendships while your children play.
Other people are out there, but they won't just magically appear. If you want good friendships with new people, you have to put a lot of work it - but the payoff is worth it.
Finally, you need to grieve the ending of a long friendship. Grief doesn't go away overnight. Some suggestions to help can include counselling, journalling, painting, and talking to some of the new friends that are waiting to meet you.
Best of luck.
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Last night me and my boyfriend were fooling around and he pulled me on top of him and the head of his dick was touching my opening. He didn’t go in because he didnt have a condom but could I still get pregnant this way? I don’t know if he had any cum or pre-cum there, I don’t think he did. PLEASE HELP! I rate 5's. (link)
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Generally as soon as a penis is erect, pre-cum is present. One drop of pre-cum contains 80,000 sperm.
Still, it is highly unlikely that you are pregnant. Pregnancy requires you to be at a certain point in your cycle, for semen to definitely have gotten inside of you, etc. To be safe, don't take risks - even if you choose to not have sex, you may want to discuss condom use just to be on the safe side.
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i just got my period i take a bath soon i know that you have to take your pad off but how does the blood stop coming out if u take a bath or a shower. explain them both to me fast and i will right all 5s if u hurry (link)
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Most women only lose a couple of tablespoons of blood during their period. The blood is not usually flowing at a rate that is noticeable at all - in a shower, what tiny amounts of blood that did come out would instantly be washed away by the water.
In a tub, the water pressure might actually stop your flow from coming out at the same rate it would if you were out of water. Plus, you will be lying back and that also makes blood flow lighter - which is why you might experience a gush of blood when you sit up for the first time in the morning.
Either way is perfectly safe and natural to clean yourself during your period. Stick to your normal routine and things will be fine.
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I have a mental illness and have been out of the work force for a long time. What I have is called schizophrenia. I've been supporting myself for the last 5 years by being on a disability pension. I just got a job a couple of months ago part time. I get about 25 hours a week and don't need to collect my pension anymore. Well my question is about this man that works as a social worker for the local mental health association. I've known him for about 2 years and I've always sensed an attraction. Well yesterday he saw me get out of my car. He works in the building next to where my appartment is. He was asking me about the job and then when I told him it was going well he said " Good for you", and the way he was looking at me it wasnt just friendly it seemed more than that, like he had sexual feelings for me. I remember one summer when I went on a camping trip sponsered by mental health he went and he kept staring at me. Do you think this may mean he has feelings for me? And couldnt he get in trouble if he did want to date me because I'm a client of his. Oh yeah, he is 43 and I am 27. (link)
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It would be highly unprofessional for someone who works with you to become involved in a relationship with you. In fact, he's already coming close to crossing boundaries simply by the fact that you feel he is attracted to you.
While people can be attracted to anyone at any time, please be aware that this man might not be the most careful or caring person to become involved with. If he attempted to make a pass at you, it would show that he had no respect for the client/carer relationship - and also that his personal judgement might be lacking.
Be aware of the possible negative outcomes of dating this person. If he DOES make an advance and you are uncomfortable, you have a right to lodge a complaint with the mental health association.
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I haven't yet had sex with my boyfriend. He has told me that he hasn't had unprotected sex for 2 years, and so I shouldn't worry about STDs. However, he has been sexually active for 5 years - before 2 years ago he had unprotected sex with several partners. 2 questions: how worried should I be about him having something, that maybe hasn't shown itself yet? And how can I suggest to him nicely that he get tested? (link)
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Many STDs have no outward symptoms, particularly in men. It's always safest to have a full health check up and screening for any possible STD.
When it comes to protecting your health, you should definitely let him know that you will not feel comfortable having sex unless he has been tested. Let him know this is more for your peace of mind, and also because you care about him. When STDs are left untreated, they can lead to some pretty nasty consequences.
This shouldn't be a problem if your boyfriend cares about your health and respects your wishes, although you may need to encourage him because some people find it scary to be tested.
Best of luck.
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Okay. I lost my virginity on Monday to my boyfriend. We've had sex several times since then. My question is, I'm still bleeding during sex. Is that normal? Sometimes I get cramps, is that normal? (link)
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Basically, you need to give your body a chance to heal. If you're still bleeding, it means that every time you have sex it's probably aggravating the areas that were first hurt when you lost your virginity.
Take a week off of sex and that should help with the bleeding. It's natural to still feel discomfort the first few times anyway, as your body needs time to adjust.
The cramps could be due to several reasons: stomach muscles cramping from their usage during sex, your period coming, or it could be related to your vagina not being used to sex. It's best to get this, and the bleeding, checked out by your doctor if they persist.
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My boyfriend is 24 and I'm 22 and we've been dating for at least 2 years. We love eachother dearly and are serious about one another. The only issue he and I occasionally discuss is religion. We do have a lot of the same morals however he's Christian and I was born into a sect of Hinduism, which I do believe in. Although we do respect and appreciate eachothers beliefs, I kinda get the feeling he wants me to convert. I really don't want to label myself something I'm not comepletely. Is it possible to have a healthy 'interfatih' relationship that works in the long run?! (link)
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The things which are most likely to lead to relationship breakdowns are serious incompatibilities - religious differences, value differences, attitudes to money, desires for children (or not). This is not to say that many people do not respect and value the partner's differences; of course they do.
Some sectors of Christianity, however, openly advise not to marry someone of a different faith. They call it being 'yoked to an unbeliever.' Again, not all Christians feel this way.
The only concern is that you have the feeling your boyfriend wants you to convert; feelings often come from observations of another's feelings, thoughts, and behaviours. This observation happens even when we are not aware we're doing it. It's definitely worth asking your boyfriend how he feels, and telling him you want him to respond in an honest and open way.
If you believe in your brand of Hinduism, then there's no reason for you to adopt a label that does not fit you. Relationships work best when you are encouraged to be as truly yourself as you can be, and the person loves that self that you really are.
Best of luck.
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I've never had vaginal intercourse, but about 6 years ago I fooled around with my first and only bf. I performed oral sex on him and also let him perform anal on me without using a condom.
I tell everyone that I'm still a virgin and saving myslef for my husband. No one knows about what I did with my ex bf.
Should I get tested for any STD's? Just to be on the safe side? I know it was 6 years ago. Also, what are the chances that I could have caught something? (link)
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Any unsafe sexual activity means there is a risk of infection, however slight. To set your mind at rest, it would be appropriate to ask your doctor for a full work-up for all sexually transmitted infections.
Then you can be assured that you're a healthy and pure as you want to be, and your body will thank you for looking after it as well.
Best of luck.
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im 14/f well like two days ago me and my brother got mugged and well there was three men and one grabbed me by my neck and tried chocking me so i kicked him in the balls when i tried to get back to my brother the guy had his knife on him and his friend was hitting him while the other guy was still trying to hold on to me...anyways my bro told me to run and i did after tht i found him coming back and he was bleeding we were both in a very bad state...and now its two days after what happened and ever since what happened when i come to try to eat this empty feeling is in my stomach and im not able to breath well and i cant eat and my stomach keeps hurting me and i start getting scared every time the dark comes or when i see or hear anything i get shocked and scared really easy my stomach really hurts me and i feel like i need to puke...is this cuz of the shock because before what happened i wasnt affraid of anything and belive me i mean nothing...and now im scared alot and i cant stand to be myself..i think there might be something wrong with me..i just need some advice or help ...thx (link)
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There's nothing wrong with you. You experienced a really scary and traumatic encounter, and it's natural and normal to have a reaction like this.
The person best equipped to help you would be a counsellor. She would allow you space to really talk about your feelings and explore how you can help yourself heal and move on. Best of all, counsellors are confidential and non-judgemental, so it's a really safe place to try to figure out how to feel better.
Of course, talking to parents, friends, teachers, or anyone else you respect can also help. And above everything else, time is a big healer. Right now it's okay to be scared. Perhaps a personal defense class would help you feel more comfortable with the dark again?
Best of luck.
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i used to give head to some guys and i quit because i thought i might have caught something. could there be a chance i could get something? or i would have to get that checked ..since some stds show no syptoms?
i also heard that if the guy had some std and i swallowed the std or whatever would die cause of the acid in my stomach or something? is that true (link)
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You can get sexually transmitted infections from giving head - particularly if no condom is used. The chances are heightened if you have open sores or cuts in your mouth, but there are also teeny tiny lacerations in every mouth. This means that you COULD have contracted something - but only if one of the boys had an STI. Since there's no way to know, it's best to check things out with a doctor.
If a guy did have an STI and you swallowed his semen, it would not kill you - at least not from the acid.
Check things out with a doctor, and when you get a clean bill of health ask for some advice on sexual health. If you understand the risks and how to protect yourself, you're better equipped to make smart choices.
Best of luck.
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