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is this a deal breaker?
The guy that I like is about 25 pounds overweight and isnt athetlic at all. I asked him if he wanted to play tennis with me because I have been taking lessons. The whole time we played he critized me, saying mean things like "your stamina is terrible", what kind of lessons have you been taking", and " I thought you would have been way better". He was really upsetting me so finally I said that I was still learning and to give me a break. The thing was that he was a lot worse than me, and I was trying to say nice things to encourage me.
A couple days later he told me that he thought I should lose 15 pounds. I am average, not fat. He is way more overweight than me and I have never said anything to him because I know it would just hurt him. My feelings were very hurt with all his negativity. Should I move on?
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He is projecting his own insecurities onto you, it's classic low self esteem behavior. You must let him know that you absolutely will not tolerate this kind of bashing. This involves speaking your mind right away when he says something, let nothing slide. I would give him one more chance (after bringing this up of course) but just one more negative comment and I would be out. You are worth more then that crap.
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MOVE ON! That's freaking rediculous of him. I don't know how you could even concider staying. Tell him he didn't treat you right and you don't want any more dates. Walk away, and DON'T give him a second chance.
If he acts that way, then he's obviously insecure about himself. He's also a bad person. Even if he promises to stop, he'll start again soon. The more you like him, the more his words will hurt you.
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Oh my god he is horrible!! Dont even think twice about him!! Definetely move on. You cannot have a healthy relationship with a guy who is always critisizing you. And he shouldn't care about your weight, it's none of his buisness, and he should form an opinion about you by the type of person you are, not how much you weigh. You definetly have to move on!!
peace.love.happiness
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This guy is showing you what he is made of, and that he is not a grown up yet. Unless you enjoy this kind of treatment, move on. Our loved ones should make us feel better most of the time, not worse.
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Hey hun, YES!! move on. he's a stupid guy who's trying to make himself happy by making fun of someone else. i'm sure you're a beautiful girl. he's not worth your time. if he's gonna hurt your feelings, screw him. lol sorry dear. hope i helped!!!
♥ _NiiC0LE
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I think you should move on. You take so much care to be encouraging and make sure you don't put him down. You respect him, but he doesn't respect you, and that's not fair. If he can't respect you, he can't be with you.
Hope I helped
---------->Maureen
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Honestly, I think so. This guy doesn't seem with your time. He's taking your insecurities out on you & that just isn't fair. You could make something positive out of it though-- he was COMPLETELY out of line when he told you to lose weight, but perhaps you should offer for the two of you to exercise together..
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Sounds like he's so insecure about himself he makes himself feel better by focusing on your bad points and criticising you. That would not be a fun relationship to be in.
If you like you can talk to him about the fact what he says upsets you and encouraging him to be a bit open about his own insecurities but in the case of people like this you generally find yourself bashing your head against a brick wall.
People like this piss me off far too much for me to make much of an effort but presumably there's something good about him for you to like him so perhaps it's worth a try. NOT at the expense, however, of your self-confidence.
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He was probably telling you that so he could get his mind off of him being overweight. Chances are he knows he has a problem but doesnt feel like doing anything about it. Don't let him get to you. Talk to him about it and tell him that he really upset you when he told you that and see what he says. after that if he is still being a jerk then you deserve better. There's always someone better out there that could probably make you a lot happier and wouldn't criticize you but hed compliment you... thats the type of guy youll be happy with. like the quote says *Dont settle for the one you can live with, wait for the one you cant live without*
*Kristina*
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I think he is just insecure that he is overweight so he takes it out on you.
A lot of people do that, they are bitter because they arn't happy with themselves.
You are average, or perfect, and he isn't. It makes him mad.
Don't take it personally, try talking to him about it, if he is to bitter to even do that, move on.
You shouldn't have to deal with his insecurity.
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YES. YES. YES.
He's not worth it. His criticsm and negativity are horrible; no one should EVER say that kind of stuff to you and if they do, they're not worth your time. You deserve someone so much better; someone that makes you feel better about yourself.
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You want the short answer? Yes.
Whether he was criticizing you because of his own insecurities or because he's just insensitive makes no difference. This early on in a relationship people are usually on their best behaviour.
For him to be saying such hurtful things this early on is a big red flag.
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Hi there!! :o) .... His just being mean... You deserve someone who makes you happy and says nice things to you!! If you really like him try working things out by telling him you like him but it hurts you when he puts you down like that... If he keeps doing it leave him because he wouldn't be worth your time! Get someone who respects you and who makes you feel good about yourself!
Hope everything works out for the best! :o)
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Drop him. Drop him like a piece of rectangular construction material, or like a hot skillet-type pan which you picked up accidentally. Only truly exceptional people who would engage in such repugnant behavior in a situation such as described. You could do better if you were fifty years old and a hundred pounds overweight.
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You have every right to say to him "look who's freaking talking!"... I know it's not considered "mature" to stoop to his level but he has no right to critisize your weight, even if he happened to be skinny.
DEFINITELY move on. This guy is too insecure and not worth your time at all. He preys on your confidence because he can't find any of his own, and those people are just downers. Find someone who isn't so judgemental and hypocritical.
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