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Well there's is this girl, I really love so much & adore with all my heart and care bout' so dearly. She lost her grandma, someone who was so so special to her like a mother. Now she's suffering and crying due to her loss & as a guy I feel worthless and ashamed that I don't know waht to do to help her. Waht shud I do ? :\ I don't like seeing her like this. Any advice I can give her ? (link)
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I'm going through a similar situation right now with a friend. And its really hard I agree with you, you wish there was something that you could do to take their mind off of it but nothing really works. What I would suggest is just let her know you're there for her and that if she ever needs to talk that you're there. If she needs to "rant" or cry or just wants to talk...just listen. She may be angry and upset but just listening will help her and maybe even give her a hug just to let her know that you care. You seem like a nice guy...heck maybe you and your friends could take her out some night to hang out and have fun! If she doesn't want to then maybe offer coming over with some food or something. The best you can do right now is be there for her!
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I am fourteen (girl) and my boyfriend is sixteen (boy) and we have been dating for five (almost six) months. I really really really like him, and that's why I'm asking this question or I would have broken up with him a while ago. We met at the begining of the school year, talked for three months, then started dating. The problem is, for the past month he's been... the best word for it really is PMSy. Like moody and wierd. One day he'll be perfectly fine and then the next (or even the next hour) he'll act like he wants nothing to do with me. We've talked about this problem SO MANY TIMES. He recognized this is his fault and he says there is nothing I can do to help. But if its not my fault then its not fair that I have to suffer. He can be mean... Like he'll just say something bratty or respond with one word answers like okay? and cool... like he doesn't even give a shit. It pisses me off. THe thing is though, this happened so suddenly. That's why I haven't broken up with him. I honestly don't think he has changed as a person. People can't change so dramatically so quickly. He's a good guy and he's good for me. I don't know what love is really but I think I might love him. I just don't know what to do anymore... We agreed to try and work this out but he doesn't always seem to want to do that. He'll act like its this big burden. Or he'll barely try. All in all, he acknowledges that he's being a dick, but he doesn't know why he's doing it. THe past two days have actually been good though... I know I want to work this out, and I know he does too but my question is; WHAT CAN WE DO TO FIX IT?? Like, is there something specific we can do? and I mean DO. We're done with the talking. We've talked about everything over and over and over again. I just want it to WORK now. I know we can do it. I jut don't know how. We've tried to find reasons, and I honestly think it is because we rushed into physical stuff kind of quickly. He was a lot more experienced than me and I felt kind of hurried along... I wanted to do the stuff we did I just didn't know it would affect me like this. I think it made me clingy... But I don't know. It could also be that he's having some friend issues and school stuff but still... Just.. HELP. (link)
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I'm going through the same thing with my boyfriend. It happened yesterday even...my boyfriend was home and called me saying everything sweet that I want to hear...he was so happy. He went to class and then when he got out of class he had a bad attitude and started taking it out on me. Sometimes guys are just angry and moody and its not because of you I'm sure. I think it might be something else maybe he's stressing out about something that he may not be telling you. Now there are two things you can do...
You can bring it to his attention AGAIN! Tell him that you can listen to him rant but you will not by any means be his punching bag...thats NOT fair to you! You should never allow anyone to do that to you no matter how much you love them!
Or the other thing is if you really don't like then break up with him...if you don't want him to continue his behavior. He may continue and you may get fed up with it...so I would suggest talk to him or just walk away.
Hope it all works out! :)
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if you saw your husband sending messages to other girls lets say thru facebook or myspace etch and he wrote "hey bby let me get your aim or msn,your a cutie" while being with you would you get mad?? but without him knowin you check his thing . (link)
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It's a sign of him being unfaithful...I would be mad as hell! The thing I would do is confront my husband and ask him what was going on. Its understandable if he thinks someone is cute but sending a message and acting on it is wrong especially if you're married!
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hey! ok i have a friend and i guess she was just using me to get next to a guy she likes . the guy she likes is my friend and everytime i used to tell her he called me and things like that she would be calling me everyday. now that they aint together anymore she doesnt even bothers calling me..is not only that, is that a big problem happened...so i guess she hardly talks to me because of that big problem..but what bothers me is that in school she is all nice to me and is always looking for me but once she is out of school "pufff" she dissaperas..not even thru myspace she talks to me..it just pisses me off..and her cusin died and i was the one that was mostly there for her and she says am the only one that gives her good advices but now i dont even feel like talking to her..i think she is so fake towards me :( can you please help me. am sorry if this is too long . i just need some help on how to act with her. (link)
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You want my honest advice! GET RID OF HER!
She sounds like a horrible person and you have been there for her through thick and thin? Why? Don't bother with her anymore. Sorry if I sound harsh but she sounds really full of herself and REALLY selfish! Get rid of her and start hanging out with people who don't use you and ignore you! Hang out with people who are going to treat you right and treat you the way you want to be treated.
I also think you should watch this clip:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYH6sn2ulfs
Good luck! :)
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ok so i used to be good friends with this girl but one day she played a little joke on me and i didnt talk to her for a long time! now its been about a year scince we havent talked to each other! she tried saying sorry many times but scince im very proud and i never forgave her! :( then all of a sudden she stopped saying sorry and got new friends. now i miss the good old times with her!i want to be friends with her but i dont know how? im preety sure she even forgot about me! i just dont know what to do! please give me advice! (link)
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Well you could try talking to her but I wouldn't be surprised if she ignored you the same you did to her. Unless she feels the same way too...but there is only one way to find out! Talk to her and see what happens! Good luck! :)
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well ive been friends with this girl for already a long time! its just that lately i just find her very annoying for no reason! i feel wierd around her and i dont talk to her anymore! what should i do?? (link)
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It just sounds like you need a little time apart from one another which isn't bad or wrong. There are times where I need space from my friends but I tell them that I need space and that I'll talk to them when I feel better. Just tell her the situation...don't tell her she is annoying...tell her you just need some space...because ignoring her is going to make the situation worse!
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16/female
So I've been friends with this guy for about three years and friends with his girlfriend for about four months. Well they broke up and I tried being friends with both of them. She said all these nasty horrible things about him. He called me really upset a few nights ago saying he was tired of what she was saying and I was like she told me this stuff about you and blah blah. I cheered him up said bye. Well today I went to my friends party and when I came in my friend came up and said that this girl his ex was really pissed and that she hated me because he told her that i told him what she said. Well the party was terrible since she basically made it all about her by crying and making everyone mad at me. I felt like a total brat. So I called my dad and he came and got me. I want to know how to make this right. She's a really angry person, she gets angry about everything. She holds grudges she's always mad, shes really hateful and difficult, if shes mad at you, you know and if you try and apologize she'll bite your head off. I'd stop being her friend but the thing is she's friends with all my friends. What should I do? (link)
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Oh I know this situation all to well!
Clearly you are closer to the guy then you are with the girl because you have known this guy for three years. You should just stay out of it...totally I mean stay out of their fight. Its their fight between them not you...you don't need to be their messenger! She sounds a bit stubborn I would stay away from her...and just because she's friends with your friends doesn't mean you still can't be friends with your friends. I would stop being friends with her and be there for your friend. Good luck! :)
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How do you know to trust somebody? Im seemingly losing all trust in people. My best friend seems to be hiding things from me, people around me are cheating, lying to one another, scheming. I just dont know who or what to people? Why are people so private yet so seemingly open. Or why are they two faced? And how do we know who to trust with our own secrets? I seem to be losing all control over my trust, its just not there in so many cases I don't really know what to do. So many people are telling me not to always be so naive? But what kind of relationship can you have with someone if you don't trust them? Please some one help me with this... What is trust and when should it be given if at all? Who can we truly trust? (link)
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I ask these questions all the time. How do you know how to trust someone?
Sometimes we do and sometimes we don't. I use look at my friends who are there for me and the ones that I can depend on. I trust the people who have been there for me and I've had my times where my friendships were tested with these people. Its the people who are dependable that I feel are trustworthy. There are someone people that seem to be trustworthy at first and then they backstab you it hurts like hell. Its almost as if they pull out a Dr Jerkyl and Mr. Hyde kind of thing right infront of your face. There are different relationships in life where I am close with some people more then others.
Here watch this clip on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYH6sn2ulfs
This clip to me REALLY makes sense of things!
Good luck! :)
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Me and my bestfriend get in fights over the most stupid things! At first I think she's joking, but then I can see she's not! I really love her as my friend, but the fights make MY life worse! What should I do? (link)
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That sounds like me and my best friend! I tend to joke with her a bit and its hard for her to see if I'm joking or not. Talk to her about it...maybe suggest to her if you're really serious with me can you let me know. If you two are friends you should be able to tell her anything...and she should understand. This question makes me look at myself and I realize I need to change the way I joke towards my friends sometimes. I should be serious when I need to be serious in some situations! Great question!! :)
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I think I love my best friend his name is alex he has a girlfriend they have been together for two years but I can't help it I don't know what to do (link)
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Well to be honest you can't do much right now! It wouldn't be right or apropriate to mention you have feelings for Alex especially if he's in a relationship. Think about how you would feel if you were in his shoes...or if you were in his girlfriend's shoes? Would you be okay if you were in a relationship for two years with someone you cared about and then randomly your friend tells you that they love you? If he's happy with the girl you just have to let it be. I was with a guy for a bit and then we broke up...because of distance. He started this other girl for 5 months...and believe me for those 5 months it was hell for me. I loved him and because I did I wanted him to be happy so I let him be happy no matter how much it killed me. My advice would be don't tell him it wouldn't be right!
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So I’ll admit- I’m straight edge
Never tried alcohol cause I’m under 21.
Never tried pot
Never experimented.
And neither had my best friend, but recently she’s been hanging around this girl who is her “New school best friend” cause we go to different schools. But I’ve always been her regular best friend. This girl she’s hanging out with wants her to smoke pot with her next weekend, and my friend is trying to play it cool like she doesn’t care. But I know she does. I told her she shouldn’t do it and she was like “it’s only one time, and plus it’s already been decided.”
That’s what everyone who does pot says, that they’re only going to do it one time. But before she knows it she’s gonna get more comfortable with doing it and such… and I don’t know. I know I can’t change her mind for her. But is there any way I could talk her out of it or something? Cuz pot sort of ruined my life, even though I’ve never done it. I had a bad experience with a boyfriend who dumped me because I wouldn’t smoke pot with him and stuff. It just… pisses me off I guess that she would do something like that and not even talk to me about it.
"it's already been decided."
I don’t know.
Does anyone get it? I feel like an ass, but I’m really concerned.
What do I do? (link)
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I was straight edge before I became 21...I mean COMPLETE straight edge. I am now over 21 so I do drink but other then that...thats it! There is nothing wrong with being straight edge either! Yeah...I know quite a few people who smoke pot...and I don't necessarily agree with it but I can't stop them. Your ex-boyfriend dumped you because you wouldn't smoke pot? He sounds a bit dumb to me! There is not much you can do in this situation because she's going to do what she wants...its not like smoking pot is going to change the person she is. I'm sure you two will still remain friends...its normal to feel concerned and don't feel bad about it. You have to however let her do what she wants...you don't have control over her and it sounds she already made up her mind.
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well theres this guy at my school and i dont know if he likes me it seems like he does but he used to like my friend and i dont want to get my heart broken again and he knows what ive been through with these other guys and i know some stuff about him i seriously dont know what to do what should i do anybody please answer my question i dont want to get my heart broken anymore =*(**** (link)
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Well I hate to break the news but you're bound to get your heartbroken again. There is no way of preventing it from happening...it sucks I know! I've been through heartbreak that you can't even imagine. It was better in the days of kindergarden when you had a little crush on a boy. There is not much you can do to prevent yourself from heartbreak...well there is one thing you could stay in your room for the rest of your life. I doubt you want to go with that though. There was a guy I once knew he's honestly one of the smartest guys I know and I keep refering to him in a lot of my advice but he had a poem about risk. It was called "ONLY A PERSON WHO RISKS IS FREE" by Author Unknown.
In the poem it says:
"To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach for another is to risk involvement.
To expose your ideas, your dreams,
before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To believe is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken, because the
greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The people who risk nothing, do nothing,
have nothing, are nothing.
They may avoid suffering and sorrow,
but they cannot learn, feel, change,
grow, love, live.
Chained by their attitudes they are slaves;
they have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free."
The poem is one of my favorites...it definitely makes you think, doesn't it? So if you want to know if he likes you then the best thing you can do is ask. If he says "yes" thats great...but if he happens to say no...its not the end of the world...there are more boys in the world. Good luck! :)
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Can a relationship work out if both people really love each other and are willing to put in a lot of effort to make it last EVEN IF the guy's friends don't really like the girl? Or will it be too problematic?
It's okay if you honestly don't think it can last, I won't get upset, I just wanna know before I get all too invested.
Thank you! (link)
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Its hard to say. I'm kind of in that situation now...I'm back with my ex-boyfriend and before his friends weren't crazy about me. Right now I get along with maybe two of them...but its hard to say. I care about him don't get me wrong but its weird because he seperates me from his friends a lot since I don't get along with them. What I figure is guys will be guys...if you love him and he loves you thats all that should matter...don't listen to what others say. Its you and him...just don't let any drama go down...its better to stay away from it. You're dating him not his friends you're dating him. I say go for it...listen to your heart but use your head! Good luck! :)
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I honestly did not start caring so much about certain things until I started high school. I feel like now I'm starting to care more about my looks, what people think about me, fashion, etc... I'm currently a freshman in high school. It's like all the time, I look around me and I see a bunch of gorgeous girls. They just look pretty, and have cute clothes, you know what I mean? I envy that kinda stuff now. It seems that everyone has boobs, and I honestly think I'll be flat-chested forever since my mom is pretty petite, and my sister who is 19 doesn't have big breasts either. I know it shouldn't matter but it really gets to me. A lot of the time, I just feel ugly, and envious of other girls. As it got further into the year in my first semester of high school, I started changing my style. I'm not changing who I am just to fit in or feel more accepted. I feel as though my personality is the same. I wasn't really the 'girlish' type in middle school, but I'm finding certain clothes... cute. o.o... haha. I admit, sometimes I says things about girls who wear clothes like 'booty shorts', tank tops, or have their boobs popping out of their shirts or something, and I'd think they were slutty. Most of the time, I would think they're slutty because of their behavior. Sometimes, I'm just probably jealous and envious deep down inside. Right now, I want to wear shorts and buy cute tank tops because I think it'll be cute, and I'm finding the summer-ish styles to be really cute. I just don't want to seem slutty. :\ Is that so weird? o_o I don't want my friends to think I'm changing in a bad way either. As if I'm "changing who I am", or "turning into a slut" or something. I'm surely not into "that" type of behavior. One other thing is, is that whenever I'm in the mood to look at clothes online, the female models I see on the websites, I just kinda envy them. -.- They're not big busted either, and they look pretty. I don't know, does this seem weird/is it normal? xD Any advice on what I can do about my self-esteem or my teenage girl fashion crisis? haha. -.- (link)
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I remember when I was a freshmen in high school...I was thinking the same thing. I went to school in sweatpants and sweatshirts I could of cared less and then I would see these girls with cute shirts and cool jeans and I would envy them. Its fine that you feel that way its common to want to change your style of clothing...I use to be girly now I'm a bit more into jeans and a t-shirt. It makes me happy! Do what you feel is best and just because you want to start dressing similar to them doesn't make you a slut. I also remember in high school girls used "slut" a lot and they tend to use it out of context. Just because you dress a certain way doesn't make you a slut and don't worry about your friends if they are your realy friends they'll stick by you no matter what!
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So i've liked a guy for about a year now and we've hung out a few times and stuff. well, my friends went to semi and i didn't (prior engagements) and one of my friends danced with him (she knows i like him). Then they started texting all the time and he asked her to prom and she's going!
I feel so hurt and embarassed and ugly and i really dont know what to do. she'll probably ask me to go dress shopping and stuff with her but i think i might cry if i do.
Am i being overdramatic? Everyone is telling me that i am but i can't help it :(
what do i do? (link)
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My best friend and I were close at the beginning of high school! There was this guy in my class I liked a lot and I would talk to her about it all the time. She knew I really liked him a lot...I would hang out with him and everything. One day we all end up hanging out and the two of them end up hitting it off. I was heartbroken...I didn't say anything but I use to get mad at her a lot because I felt as though she back-stabbed me. I would talk to your friend and let her know how you feel. In terms of her going with him to prom you really can't do much...just let them go together...in terms of a relationship thats going to be a bit hard. Talk to her about it, if you girls are friends then she should be understanding...she may not be she maybe a little hurt but she did know you liked him. As I always say to these questions don't let a man get in between a friendship EVER! To this day...she is still my best friend...because fortunately we worked things out! :) Good luck!!
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this boy in my class wich im good friends with found out the other day that i like him as more than a friend, he never said much about it but were not really talking to each other much now and i find it hard to look him in the eye with out it feeling awkawrd. what shall i do ? (link)
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I know it seems awkward...I hate those situations! I asked this guy to my junior prom in high school...and I had a crush on him for a bit. He went with me to prom and it made me so happy...I tried talking to him after and told him that I liked him. He told me he didn't feel the same way and I ended up feeling stupid...really stupid. He told me however I shouldn't feel stupid...and that I should say how I feel and never feel stupid. Taking chances is something we all should do its hard but in the end its worth it because we have less regret. The guy also went on to say when one door closes another will open...I wish we had more guys like this in the world to make it less complicated. Its easier to say keep your head up...but if you feel comfortable try and talk to him and see whats going on. If he acts like a jerk and immature about it...then don't bother with him you're wasting your time! I hope it works out! :)
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16/f
i have always had trouble with self esteem. and i know that i do have pretty qualities but i have trouble embracing them. how can i make myself feel pretty and stop picking away at all my flaws?
thanks:) (link)
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Its tough...because I still do that to myself...people have told me that I'm pretty, beautiful, and what have you but for some reason I still pick at myself. I pick at myself more days then others its just a constant battle! No one is perfect and therefore people tend to pick out flaws instead of picking those out though we should try to embrace the good. I look at how lucky I am...and I try to be as kind to others...I try not to care about my looks as much as I can. There is no way for me to tell you how to stop picking at your flaws...but maybe by focusing on the good qualities it may take you away from the "flaws".
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How do you make someone realize you're meant to be together when they have it set in their mind that you aren't just because it didn't work the first time? (link)
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You can't make them realize something as much as you want to. If its meant to be it'll happen it sounds cliche I know but its true. Its like that Bonnie Raitt song "I Can't Make you Love me". You have to be respectful to their decision and move on. Don't force a relationship if its meant to be it'll happen!
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For starters, I am fifteen and female. I'm one of those girls that has a guy best friend. I trust him with my life, he's always there for me, he helps me with homework, he plays songs on his guitar when I'm down because he knows I like that, and he never ceases to put a smile on my face. Well, he has an.. let's call her an obsessor. She's all over him all the time, she asks for hugs and he's to nice to tell her no so he does. With that said, he's to nice to tell her he doesn't feel the same, so being his friend, he asked me to do it. My friend (a girl) and I were together when he texted me and asked if I could do this for him, so we texted his obsessor from my friend's phone because they don't talk so they don't have each others numbers. We told her to lay off that he doesn't feel the same and she said she'll cut off all contact with him if we are that upset about it, so that's what she did. Now, you know how most storied turn out, the best friends get together, get married, have children and live happily ever after? Yep, my friends think that will be my guy friend and I. They say he looks at me like he likes me, that he looks at me like he adores me. That they wish they could find a guy that looks at them the way he looks at me. He supposedly looks at me when I'm not looking. We don't hang out outside of school but we talk just about everyday on the phone, talking about homework or just our days. He knows everything about me and he tells me things he doesn't even tell his guy best friend. But, his dick friend started a rumor that we liked each other and now everybody calls him my "future husband" and I would text him and tell him some of the things that people were saying about us to maybe get a good laugh (rumors never used to bother him) but he doesn't laugh, he kinda gets snappy, saying he doesn't want to hear what people said. I was just wondering if you think he likes me. (link)
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Okay I already see one thing wrong with this situation! Getting involved in a situation with him and someone else should be between not you. Your friend should not have put you in that kind of position. Sorry! Just had to say it!
As for liking you not really sure...it could go both ways...if people are saying things he might being getting aggravated and a little shy about telling. It could however swing the other way in which he could just see you as a best friend. If you two are friends just ask him...or just ask if it bothers him about the rumors that people are saying. That way you can get an idea of what he's thinking.
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I have this friend she's a very good friend till know we were hanging out then out. Of nowhere she said that she has problems. Because of that she doesn't get what she wants cause of me and that she hates how I talk to every one I just don't get it what's wronge with her not to be mad i'm just saying she can't go blaming. People for her problems were no longer talking should I be the one to say something first even if I think I had all the right to get mad right I don't know what to do I'm lost (link)
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Its sounds like to me that she is very jealous person and that she only has you as a friend. She sounds loike she depends on only you which is not very healthy. I have in the past had problems with friends and I've walked away from them and ignored them figuring that they would coming running after me because I thought they would know what they did wrong. In that case I was the one that was wrong...I should have as a friend told them what was going on. Its great that she is expressing to you that she has problems but is she giving you any solutions or have you two talked it out with one another? Has she just been completely unreasonable for being mad at you? Maybe talk to her and as her why she's so mad you should be able to do that if she is your good friend. If these problems keep up though and nothing get fixed...then I would say you should maybe stop being friends. Being friends is just as hard as a relationship you go through your bad and good times but you need to be able to come to some sort of agreement and if you can't then its time to move on and hang out with other people. Hope it works out! :)
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