hey! ok i have a friend and i guess she was just using me to get next to a guy she likes . the guy she likes is my friend and everytime i used to tell her he called me and things like that she would be calling me everyday. now that they aint together anymore she doesnt even bothers calling me..is not only that, is that a big problem happened...so i guess she hardly talks to me because of that big problem..but what bothers me is that in school she is all nice to me and is always looking for me but once she is out of school "pufff" she dissaperas..not even thru myspace she talks to me..it just pisses me off..and her cusin died and i was the one that was mostly there for her and she says am the only one that gives her good advices but now i dont even feel like talking to her..i think she is so fake towards me :( can you please help me. am sorry if this is too long . i just need some help on how to act with her.
She sounds like a horrible person and you have been there for her through thick and thin? Why? Don't bother with her anymore. Sorry if I sound harsh but she sounds really full of herself and REALLY selfish! Get rid of her and start hanging out with people who don't use you and ignore you! Hang out with people who are going to treat you right and treat you the way you want to be treated.
lovealways1221 answered Thursday March 18 2010, 7:21 pm: hey. well i don't understand the full story. but you have to talk to her about it. just ask her "why do you act so nice and friendly towards me in school, and then when we're out of school you just disappear out of my life?"
you could think about the reasons. here's what i think they might be
-she might be busy with other stuff. like sports, or activities, or family.
-she might actually be fake and just be friendly to you in school, just to get attention.
-she could be feeling very hurt about the problem and is avoiding you
-she could still be really hurt about her cousin passing away and doesn't want any attention outside of school.
but i honestly think this is pathetic. nobody should be treating you this way. don't be mean towards her. just straight up ask her what's going on. if she gives you a stupid answer, like "i'm not ignoring you" then she's probably lying about it.
if she continues to keep this up, i think it would just be better if you guys stopped being friends all together. you could find another friend who would treat you better than this.
mandyx3 answered Wednesday March 17 2010, 10:05 pm: It's hard when you feel like you've been being a great friend and the other person doesn't seem to appreciate it. If she was just using you to get to a guy then she really isn't worth it anyway.
Maybe she has been going through some things and has withdrawn from talking to you because she just doesn't want to deal with it (since she went to you after her cousin died). And maybe she is just mad because of "the big problem" and so that's why she isn't talking to you.
You could try to just keep being a good friend towards her; talking to her about her problems, being there for her etc. If she doesn't want to accept it, then you could simply stop talking to her, just as she is doing to you. She might eventually come back to you and start talking to you again.
You could also tell her how she's making you feel and try to help solve "the big problem". You could explain to her how she is making you angry since she never talks to you anymore.
Hope I helped :) [ mandyx3's advice column | Ask mandyx3 A Question ]
NinjaNeer answered Monday March 15 2010, 8:52 am: If she's seeking time spent with you during school, I'd say that is a good thing. It means she wants to spend time with you in person! I would be more concerned if she spoke to you online and avoided you at school.
Yes, she has slowed down since things cooled off with that guy. These things do happen. Just remember that she didn't ditch you entirely, so it wasn't like she was just using you. [ NinjaNeer's advice column | Ask NinjaNeer A Question ]
sunshine1232 answered Sunday March 14 2010, 11:00 pm: I think you should confront her and say that she shouldn't of used you seeing as it isn't right and
that's not what friends do to one another she could
of confronted the boy herself & did whatever she needed to do she didn't need to bring you into the
situation unless she needed your help or advice yes
she is acting fake towards you seeing as she used you tell her she is going to have to gain your trust
back you can't hold a grudge aganist her seeing as
you'll go crazy doing that you'll have to forgive her sometime but talk to her about it & tell her how you feel then hopefully the situation will be
resolved(: [ sunshine1232's advice column | Ask sunshine1232 A Question ]
braytak answered Sunday March 14 2010, 10:18 pm: It sounds like you already know the reasons for her behavior (boyfriend, big problem). I see three options:
1) tell her your true feelings and offer to talk through them with her. this is the least likely option to work and the one that will take the most energy.
2)tell her you are pissed off and you do not want to have anything to do with her anymore. This is the easiest option, but puts you in the role of "bad person" which may have repercussions in your social circle.
3) Be nice to her in school, otherwise, be cool. Time might heal "the big problem", and both of you can then move on as friends. This is the option with the greatest long term chance of success but in the short term it might be hard for you. [ braytak's advice column | Ask braytak A Question ]
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