(Ask A Question.) (Feedback.) (Discussion Board.) (Make Razhie A Favourite.) (Advicenators.)
Razhie. Advicenators Member Since: June 13, 2005. Answers: 5077. Visitors: 211514.
Favourite Collumnists.
(WittyUsernameHere.) (karenR.) (NinjaNeer.) (rainbowcherrie.) (DangerNerd.)
The Question
sorry this is so long but i am really confused and i would love for any advise from anyone!
ok here is goes. me adn my ex boyfriend (josh) we out all last summer and he cheated on me so we broke up and havent talked since. well the other day i was on the phone with his best friend (anton) and josh was over there so me adn josh talked and we are cool now. well i like anton but anton is a huge player. he has cheated on almost every girl he has went out with. he is also not a virgin .. me i havent even tounge kissed a guy before. well anton told me that he is actually ready to get into a serious relationship with a girl. i really wanna be that girl, but im so scared for anyone to know that i likw him. im scared he is gonna cheat on me or hurt me just like josh. me adn anton dont talk alot adn we dont know each other really good. i really like him and i dont know what to do. i even dream about him at night. can anyone please give me some advise on what to do?? thanks if you do!!
The Answer
I don't think he's right for you babe, the difference in values and experience (even if he doesn't cheat agian) is too great.
If you do decided to persue a serious relationship with this guy please take it really really extra slow!! This guy has alot of proving to do before you should make a serious emotional commitment to him.
Remember, People can change, just very very very few of them do.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
ok i have a boyfriend, the thing is im not supposed to yet, but i really really like him but i know if i told my parents my dad will like ground me forever and never let me date agian. ever. and my bf is going to a new school that they built, and everyone is either going or staying well im staying but he is going. so should i just wait till the school year starts to break up with him? because i know we will break up after that because long distance or just across town relationships dont ever last.
but, what should i do?
thanks!
The Answer
First off. Long distance relationships can last, it's much easier when you are older, but you hafta want them too.
Secondly why are you still with this guy if you know you are going to break up with him (ie he isn't worth it in the long term.) and you know it will upset your dad?
Cut the poor boy loose, if you really want a boyfriend fine, but don't waste both of your time in a doomed relationship.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
wat is a blow job ?
nd how does a grl give oral
The Answer
A blow job is a girl, or a guy, giving a guy oral. They use thier mouth to stimulate the penis.
(There actually isn't that much blowing involved really, it's an odd name.)
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Alright lets start from the very start.. I used to have very short hair and glasses that made my eyes look bug eyed.. Well last year I got contacts (which I must say has changed my life) and My hair has grown out and is very long (blonde) and my eyes are deep green.. Well lets just say I have not had an easy time. Before I got contacts people would pick on me about my glasses and my hair. Well when I went into 8th grade My hair was long and ai had contacts so they didnt have a reason to pick on me but yet.. people still tryd. I did have bfs but i also had boy troubles.. no bf that actualy lasted long.. the longest was a month. Now I am going into highschool and I want to be noticed and i would like to not be picked on as much. I think it would also really be nice to find a guy that I could be with for atleast a while.. and I would like to get some guys attention.. Can you help me? please..
love maddie
The Answer
There are always going to be some people who don't like you and try to pick on you. It sounds like you've made some real strides in looking better and taking care of yourself but you still think like you're not good enough.
Confidence is the most attractive quality a person can have. Stop thinking you aren't good enough. When you get to highschool, don't worry so much about your apperance, just swallow your fear put on a smile and be the kind of person you'd want to be around.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
14/f -- my friends in I call ourselfs "the crew". Mainly, it's me & my boyfriend, his best friend & his girlfriend [my best friend], and occasionally a few others. We all have open relationships were we tell each other everything. Except we don't tell our b/f&g/fs everything so we kinda share secrets and give advice and such. The other day my bf's best friend [he just happens to be my ex] told me that he still has feelings for me and thinks about me more than his girl. now, he keeps talking to me about this and trying to get me to cheat on my boyfriend with him.. i'm not gonna, but what should i say to him to make him back off??
The Answer
Tell him you aren't interested and tell him it forcefully. What he is doing is very mean and shallow and he's an absolute jerk to ruin your tight knit group like that.
Tell him to hit the road, and if he doesn't, tell your friend and your boyfriend.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I'm not sure why, but latley I haven't been so happy lately. I mean I'm so sick of being me. I don't like my hair, im not as pretty as Miss popular. I dont dress as great as them and I've been alone alot latley cause none of my friends have been invitin me over anymore. I've been on a no sode low sugar diet and I lost my baby fat (im 13 and i weigh 105 lbs) so im noT like fat or anything but I somehow got off my diet and I just feel soo crappy I havent gotten back on. I hate me right now, what should I do?
The Answer
People do go through these phases sometimes. Sounds to me like you are just really bored and lacking in some motivation. I get sorta depressed and unhappy whenever I'm not feeling mentally stimulated.
So shake yourself off and try something new. Bake a cake or make a craft or paint a picture, join a club or something. Give yourself something to wake up for each morning. Don't worry about your diet or clothes, find deeper happiness in being yourself.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I had me an epiphany (a revelatory manifestation of a divine being.)
this morning .. the doorbell rang .. about 8 o'clock (ish) .. behind the door was a 20-something old man .. neat looking character ..
he handed me a pampflet and .. the message was .. "have you seen Jesus?" .. danm! .. i said DAMN! .. as it so happens with me that in situations like this i tend to act very arogantly and .. allthough it may seem cool at the time .. it really is not cool at all .. one needs to take into acount the feelings of the person he or she interacts with .. i said .. "Jep! I just did!" and slammed the door shut.
later i thought .. a. did i hurt that poor bastards feelings .. and .. b. what does it all mean? ..
The Answer
It means you learned a very important lesson about being civil to people and respecting them even if you don't agree with them or think they are stupid.
Don't dwell on this so much, you made a mistake. Suck it up and remember that being nasty to people makes you feel bad. So try not to do it agian.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
(15/f)
ok i really like this guy. (well call him P) well today we are having a 1rst of july party. i didnt have a clue who my dad was inviting but i was really hoping that he invited his family. but it turns out that its just basically a work party, even though he said its a 'get together'. but i havent seen P in 3 weeks. I really miss him and i think might even love him. what could i do to see him again? besides calling him and feeling like a stalker or IMing him.. any ideas? o and also, my parents dont know i like him.
The Answer
Relax, you clearly barely know this guy so take a deep breath and be realistic.
You like him enough to get to know him better? Well that means taking the risk of talking to him, calling him, maybe dropping by places or parties you know he will be at and chatting him up. You will never get the guy of your dreams just sitting on your ass.
Be brave and bold! Take an interest in him, call him up and ask him out. This is the new millinum you can do it!
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
i've had my period for about a year and a half now. i've tried using tampons but every time i do it hurts soooooooooo bad!! i can barely even get the tip in and i know i'm putting it in the right hole. i need tips on how to put tampons in because i want to use them not stupid pads. (
The Answer
See a doctor fast. Tampons should not hurt like that, maybe you are putting them in wrong but it sounds more likely that you have an infection or serious irritation.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
okay...im 13/f. i play sports and i do master...-but not often and not really fingering (2). Could my "cherry" be popped already? or will that only happen while having sex?jw...thanks!
-margie
The Answer
It is very difficult to break your own hymen, first off, it's rather deep, secondly, breaking it kinda hurts. So it is very very unlikely you will break it by masterbating.
(However, you can break it doing lots of sports or being really active. But don't worry about that, it is out of your control.)
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Ok so I'm in an advanced choir. There's a summer camp where you learn all your repertoire for thte year. I was 12, I had skipped a year so I was the youngest. The older kids just hated the noobs, and I just ignored them because I was a cocky little kid and thought they were just evil jealous freaks. This year, i'm not a rookie anymore, and the new kids are cumin in. A lot of them are my age cuz I skipped a year. For some reason, I hate them!!! They are all those typical, immature preppy, preppy annoying white blond girls who stayed in the previous level for like 3 or 4 years and are obsessed with rock stars. I seriously don't think that they even belong there. And I won't get the same sort of treatment as I did before. Oh god now I'M the evil jealous freak! I know it sounds like I'm being a whiny snobby bitch and complaining that there are people as good as me, but i'm not. I don't know what to do!!! I'm nice to them, but there's still that little devil inside. I know I'm prejudiced, but I can't help it. I feel so messed up and wrecked somebody help me!
xoxo lulu
ps. i rate high
The Answer
It's only human, it's not the nicest way to feel, for them or for you. But consider it a chance to be a bigger and better person. You don't have to be thier friend, but be friendly and supportive. If nothing else, you'll feel better about yourself.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
I don't hav any friends! my so called friends don't tell me any secrets or call me etc. The friends I used to have aren't my friends. What am I supposed to do. This really stinks! I even try to make new friends but their not my type. Is this just my point of view, they don't call because they don't have time or something. Please Help! I rate high enough
The Answer
It might just be a time in your life where you are sort of inbetween groups of friends. These times suck, but they happen and you can get over them.
Try and be a good friend yourself, even with people who seem to be ditching you. Even if that doesn't make you closer to them, it will help you attract people who see that you are a good solid friend.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
all through middle school i had like 3 good friends. then i went to highschool... and there's a lot more people. i made new friends. so what... right? well my new friends are kind of the "fast" crowd and i wont do everything they do and they're cool with that. i hang out w/ them a lot during school because none of my old friends are in any of my classes. i still hang out with my old friends on weekends, and call them all the time, and talk to them at school when i can. i eat lunch w/ them about half the time. but they get mad at me sometimes and get all snappy for no reason. and purposefully make snide remarks about my other friends. if i tell a funny story or something about something i did with my other friends, they get all mad "oh you were with them friday night." i mean really, i'm not their propery. my other friends dont like my old friends that much either, but when i ask them to stop talking bad they do. my old friends wont. how do i make them understand that i'm not going to ditch them?
The Answer
Friendships change in highschool, it's just the way of things and learning to balance them is a huge part of it. You seem to being doing pretty good so far but you need to be a little clearer with both your groups. Practicing saying these things and make sure you mean them:
"I don't want to hear bad things about them, they are my friends too. I wouldn't want anyone to talk about you that way."
"You are my friend and important to me."
Repeat as nessicary, untill they all get sick of hearing it. In time your old friends with branch out and find new intersts and friends too.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
last night we were online talking and i asked him who he was talking to, his ex gf carrie who goes to mentor and i dont even know her but i have heard about her and im like oh.... because i got extremely jealous and i never thought i would get jealous from him talkign to a girl and i dont even know why i did.... must have been because shes his ex and then hes like "she seems upset" and im like maybe she needs your makeup sex and i was being super gay about it and stuff and he stopped talking to me online and signed off to call her which made me feel bad....and.... then i signed off to go to bed cuz i felt upset and he called me and asked what was wrong and i said i didnt wanna talk about it and stuff and i went to bed but we still werent fighting and then today things were fine but i was still a little gay and just every little thing has annoyed me and i feel like talking to him im always being interrupted and i can never say what i have to say and everything i say is used against me and i feel bad for everything i say or do and i feel so frustrated and hurt and mad and sad all at the same time so we were on the phone and hes like "youre always selfish and i have never said anything" so i got super hurt and defensive and pissed so i was like "whatever im going bye" and he said bye and i hung up. and he just has a way of making me always feel bad. cuz hes like "sorry im a shitty bf" and i didnt say nething and hes like "thanks for telling me im not" and stupid crap like that. and hes like "ur selfish and i dont know how to get through to u". i dont wanna talk about it to him because he never says nething when im with my guy friends....but then again none of them are my ex's! im sick of always being scared to do anything because he will make me feel bad.... i cant deal with always feeling bad for everything! its like he can do whatever he wants but i cant because its wrong if i do it. what do i do?
The Answer
Two problems as I see it.
1.) You are insecure and jealous, You deal with it by shutting up and pouting.
2.) You're boyfriend is insecure and possibly jealous too, he deals with this by guilting you and crying out for attention with his "I'm such a loser" act.
YOU TWO ARE HURTING EACHOTHER! STOP NOW!
If you can't trust your boyfriend to talk to another girl, even an ex you shouldn't be with him. As for his whining next time he does it tell him you don't like to hear it. Don't tell him is a good boyfriend or that he isn't a loser/bad person/whatever, cause thats just giving him a reason to say that stupid attention begging things agian.
You two aren't communicating, you are playing childish games. Get over it.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
at my school we have to wear collared shirt, with only 2 buttons unbuttoned. we can wear jeans or skirts, but the skirts have to be longer than 2 inches above our knees. i like to dress originally, and cant stand the thought of going to school looking exactly like everyone else. also i live on an island, so whenever you buy a shirt someone else in your school probably bought it too... and with this collared shirt rule, like 9 or 10 people end up with the exact same shirt. does anyone have any suggestions for interesting ways to make my outfits less boring?
The Answer
Test the limits, thats what I did with my uniform. Add crazy buttons, zippers, stripes of fun material. (I made underbust corsets and wore them ontop of my blouse) Wear crazy socks or stockings. Mismatch your laces. Invest in wigs if you want (I did!)
Push the rules hard, all the time. Yes you will get in some trouble. But it is worth it to be yourself and be expresive.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
first of all, sorry this is so long, but its a big problem...im only thirteen, which, to my mom, is too young to have a boyfriend. the problem is i HAVE a boyfriend and he's my first and he lives in another city far from where i live. and in a few weeks, hes coming to my city and i really want to go out with him somewhere, but first, my mom would have to find out that i'm dating him. she always tells me that i can tell her, but i just kno that she wont let me. i met him on the internet which is even worse. anyways, how can i talk to her and explain this to her in a way that hopefully, she will let me stay with him? also, would it be better if he introduced himself instead of me introducing him?
The Answer
Hun this just sounds a little scarry to me. If you met this guy online you shouldn't be going anywhere alone with him!
He is not your boyfriend if you only talk online. You are just close friends who like eachother. Thats what you should tell your mom. Tell her you have a good online friend who is comming to town for a bit and you want to invite him over for dinner or a movie or something. That way your mom will be more likely to be okay with it and you will be safer!
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
If you go to the Doctor's and get tested to see if you are a virgin or not, could it come up posotive even if you haven't had sex?
The Answer
Why on earth would someone want to test to see if you are a virgin? I don't care how old or young you are, your virginity is your bussiness!
Although they could look and see if the hymen is broken alot of things can break it, not just sex. So that is no proff that you aren't a virgin.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
alright i cut...and i told my friend and now he's started cutting. ive told him to stop but he keeps saying that i shouldnt be telling him to stop when i do it too. and he is right. but im really afriad for him, but i cant tell him to stop when i do it too. how can i convice him to stop?
The Answer
Stop yourself.
Nothing better then a good example. You know it's wrong, you know it is hurting you and now it is hurting your friend too. Time to grow up and do the responsible thing, ask for help, for you and for your friend. In the end you'll be glad that you did.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
if your girl asks you to incoperate her in your most obscene sex fantasy and you cant think of anything does this mean you dont want to have sex with her or is it a common case of the nerves? i know this sounds stupid but i rate high
The Answer
Common case of the nerves I'd say. Or maybe you just weren't in a sexually creative mood?
Fantasies are fun, but not all of them do you actually want to make a reality.
So give it some more thought, maybe you'll come up with something, maybe not but its worth exploring with the girl.
(View All Other Answers.)
The Question
Recently my periods have been abit all over the place. i usually go 32 days but for the past 3 or 4 months they've been like a week late and a week early. i dont know why they are doing this, i havnt changed my diet but ive kinda had a change of lifestyle so maybe thats it?
I'm ill and have been for 3 years and i was also housebound but since last december i've been getting out a bit more, having more walks and going to shops and doing things that are really scary for me as i'm getting over agoraphobia and panic at doing normal things. do you think maybe this is causing my periods to be early and late or could it be something else? thank you
The Answer
I suffer from panic attacks too *hugs* My haven't house bound me yet, hopefully they never will. But combine that physical stress with bad eating or sleeping habits and my period can be weeks late or early.
I feel really confidant in saying that it's your lifestyle and anxiety that makes you irregular. Don't worry about it.
(View All Other Answers.)