Member Since: May 3, 2011
Answers: 1053
Last Update: December 12, 2012
Visitors: 30969
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i have a family frind she haves bypoler but she will not take her medison and now she is thrit people (link)
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Any threat of physical harm can be reported to the police. That may be the kind of wake up call she needs.
Now if this is happening at school, go to the headmaster or principal and complain about the threats. The child and the parents will likely be called and this might encourage her to stay on her meds.
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15/f
well, i'm not a very shy person i'm actual rather popular who gets along with basically everyone. i don't mean that to sound cocky.
I am ALWAYS under the assumption that I'm intruding or imposing or just plain irritating the people that I am around or talking to. I'm always apologizing. This applies mostly to upperclassmen it seems. I think I just overthink things way to much..
what can I do about this? (link)
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Girls are raised to be accommodating and non-confrontational, so your yen for apology is actually understandable and probably makes you seem nice (whereas it would make a guy seem weak) and considerate.
And all women overthink. Try to keep things simple. If people aren't avoiding you you aren't irritating them. You're just shy and insecure, which is very common at your age. Until someone tells you directly to piss off, just be yourself and let the chips fall where they may. That is all you can do. You can't be someone else. As long as you are basically a good person there is nothing to be ashamed of.
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13/f
Is it weird to get aroused to the thought of someone hurting me? Not like beating me, but like during sex taking a knife and making little cuts just enough to where they bleed? I mean, im 13.... I really shouldn't have these thoughts. I also get aroused when i think of a guy... like dominating me. Its just weird. And i live in a house hold where if there's something wrong, and you need to go to a therapist of be on depression meds you get disowned and thrown out of the family. And you'll get sent to a far away school where you'll live there. Its happened to my sister betheny and my cousin Danny.... What should i do? (link)
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Actually, it sounds to me like your parents are so screwed up the best thing that could happen to you would be to be adopted by another family.
The BDSM interests often (not to say that this is always the case) arise due to abuse in the home. Your parents sound mentally abusive at the very least and what you need to do in the short term is kick butt in school so that you can move away to college and put these mentally ill losers behind you.
As an aside, though, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having submissive feelings and wanting somebody to dominate you. All that stuff can be fun and fulfilling with the right partner. However, like all things in life, you have to manage it and look at it in a rational and reasonable way so you don't get hurt.
Good luck.
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My dog has resently been peeing all over the house, but she has been trained for like three years... its jus been resently. And than the other night she was sleeping on the Couch and peed,while she was sleeping! Can anyone tell me what's wrong with her? What can I do to make this stop. Oh and we let her out like hour now, but she pees like crazy still... thanks:) for reading. (link)
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Take the dog to the vet. There may be underlying medical causes for its incontinence that need to be dealt with beyond just stopping it from urinating in the house.
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bascially my days are numbered so no advice is required. (link)
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Yep, life is a zen koan that as soon as we start living we begin dying.
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Well first off I am a 30 year old Pastor. I have a lovely wife and 6 children with another on the way. Last night I had a few drinks and ended up having intercourse with another man. The worst part is I enjoyed it. I know Im going to hell for doing that with him. But do you think Im gay? (link)
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You aren't going to hell because hell doesn't exist. How about we start joining the reality based world and leave the biblical fairy tales on the shelf where they belong?
To answer your question, yes, you are gay. Or maybe bi. A lot of guys become pastors and whatnot in hopes that it will "cure" them of their homosexual predilections. But all that does is repress them, and anything that is repressed will express itself at some point, usually in a more magnified way.
So be honest with yourself. When did you first start REALLY noticing men? I'm going to bet it was around the time you entered junior high or maybe a little before. And how often did you think to yourself over the yrars that certain actors, musicians, etc were "very handsome" or even, "cute"?
If the above describes you, you are a gay or bi.
This question was probably a troll anyway, but I had nothing better to do than to respond to it, so what the hell.
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I really want to lose weight but I keep cheating. I just cant help it. I want to lose 20 pounds before August 25th. If I stop cheating on my diet can I lose 20 pounds before that date? Does anyone know something I can do to stop craving bad food? Eating fruit doesnt work and I cant just eat a small portion of something cause Ill end up eating the whole thing. (link)
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Go outside more and stop laying around the house is a good start. People often eat out of boredom. Take really long walks, like 3-4 miles. And instead of soft drinks, drink water, which is healthier for your body.
Or just exercise more at home. Lift weights, workout to exercise videos or join a swim club and do a couple miles worth of laps everyday (which will also greatly tone your body by working every muscle in your body).
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Web Design and Computer Technology,Television Productions or Psychology?
Also which one of those do you feel is the most realistic when it comes to actually getting a job that deals with them.
I was also thinking about Theology and Philosophy but I feel like both of those are very iffy and can't be put into a real career (or at least one that's easy to get).
I originally thought Web Design and Computer Technology would be the best choice but now theirs so much competition in that field that I feel like it's useless to continue taking those classes when I get out of High School.
(link)
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I have a story about philosophy majors:
One time, on the Philosophy Department bulletin board at, iirc, Orange Coast College in Costa Mesa, someone tacked a Burger King application to it as a way to demonstrate the prankster's opinion on what he felt was the real world worth of that area of study.
Theology is only good if you are going to go into the televangelism racket (and yes, I mean "racket," as in "swindle" and "hustle").
Computer Science is the best of the lot from a real world career standpoint, but the problem there is that a lot of those jobs are being sent to India or major firms are abusing the H1B visa program by bringing in foreign workers and then paying them less than what U.S. talent would want.
The best field right now is health care. There is a nursing shortage (yes, men can be nurses) at present. Also, the largest population segment in American history, the baby boomers, are retiring and are going to need medical treatment as they age, among other things, and the caregivers can't be outsourced. If you go this way, it will also help you greatly to learn Spanish.
Engineering and chemistry are two other majors you may want to look into.
TV production is worthless unless you have an in to that very incestuous and nepotistic industry or you can come up with properties that some television outfit will want to buy. Otherwise, you will spend the rest of your life going from dead end job to dead end job because very few of the skills you learn will be transferable to anything.
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my boyfriend and i have been together 4 years and i sometimes feel like i dont please him as much as i used to i am not the best looking girl but i want to try new things to please him please help. (link)
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Actually, in marriage, it is usually the fourth year that is the hump year. By that, I mean that is the period where the people in the relationship decide that their heart isn't in it anymore and they want to be with other people (and so this often initially expresses itself in an affair) or they get past it and find a way to keep things going. "The seven year itch" is actually more like "the fourth year freakout."
I think the thing you have to look at is whether you are getting some reciprocation. You feel emotionally invested in the relationship and don't want to lose it because of all the time and emotional energy you put into it plus your natural competitiveness with other women makes the thought of losing him to someone else most mortifying. This often results in a one sided scheme in which only one partner is putting their all into the relationship and eventually begins feeling resentful for not receiving an adequate level of appreciation for the effort.
Or you are confusing his comfort with you as a lack of interest. When you are several years into a relationship, you can't keep up the energy of dating everyday. That fire eventually dies down because one can only do so much. The simple thing you can do is just love him as best you can and leave the ball in his court and take it day by day. Don't feel that you have to be superwoman or like a porn starlet or whatever. Just be yourself and if it breaks up, well, splits happen everyday thousands of times across the country even with the best of intentions.
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15/f
Next year I will be leaving high school and have the chance to start a new when I head to college. I've wanted to change my name for ages now, my surname is embarrassing and I hate my forename. I know new people I meet wont be phased but I'm worried that my girlfriend won't like me anymore. She says that I suite the name I want and that she wouldn't be bothered. And she has called me by my name I want more than my real name and I've pointed this out. But I keep thinking she wont like me or she will hold a grudge against me. I want to change my name to a more boy name because I do think I was born a boy in a chicks body and I've already spoken to her about that. But I wanted to change my name to Kai which can also be used as a girls name. I know that I will have to do paperwork but I was going to get a name change thing instead of going to my school prom since I dont want to. So I guess i just wanted to know what I should do about this. Advice about my gf and whatnot.
Thanks! (link)
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I've never heard of Kai being used as other than a guy's name.
I think the immediate issue for you is, in your heart of hearts, do you want to undergo sex reassignment surgery and live as a guy? A member of my extended family underwent a conversion (sorry, not a great word) of female to male. She (now he) began acting out on wanting to be a guy at a fairly young age. So I have a little bit of an inkling what you're going through, so I would encourage you to resolve that issue before you do anything else.
Here's the thing, though: the chances of your relationship with your girlfriend sustaining itself for any significant length of time is pretty remote. People evolve too much into their 20's and usually grow apart. So the thing to do now is not overthink this and just take your relationship with your girlfriend on a day by day basis and see how it goes. That is all you can do. If you break up, well, as the saying goes, it is better to have loved and lost than not loved at all. And you learn something from each relationship anyway, so at least the experience will be valuable down the line.
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I'm a 13 yearold girl and I hear about people just a year older than me sucking guys dicks and having sex and stuff but I think that oral sex is disgusting. is that normal? I'm not a lesbian I just think that's gross. and should girls shave there down there hair? you all probably think "what is she talking about, she's 13?" but I want to no if I should. It would help if I got advice from girls and guys. and how old were you guys when you lost your virginity? any advice helps. Thanks (: (link)
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First, at your age, a lot of false or highly exaggerated rumors get passed around. So don't believe anything you hear until you have verifiable proof beyond a friend telling you, "I know a guy who did this." Lotta blowhards out there seeking to bring attention to themselves with bullshit stories.
As far as your feelings about oral sex, that is pretty normal, When I was in junior high, the thought was disgusting to me, too. But As I got older I not only began doing it, I positively love it.
On the shaving issue, that is up to you. You should keep your pubic hair trimmed so it looks neat, but some guys like women to have hair and others like the vaginal area bald (I fall in the latter camp). Different strokes for different folks.
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My child wrote all over my sofa while my babysitter was on a social network website. The sofa cannot be cleaned because it is chenille. What do I do? (link)
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Not hire that baby sitter again. And tell your friends not to hire her, either.
And whatever your child used to write on the furniture needs to be taken away as punishment.
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I've never told anyone this, but when i was younger, like from when i was age 5 to age 11, my cousin would molest me.
i just feel like i dont want to keep it bottled up anymore but i'd feel embarrassed and ashamed to tell anyone.I think it will probally rip my family apart because Im really close to my aunt which is my cousins mom. And I dont think anyone will believe me. I think I'll feel bad forever if I say something.
I think my family will hate me if they think IM lying (link)
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Tell your mom NOW!
Listen, you aren't the guilty party and you could be putting other family members, who may also have been molested by this creep, in jeopardy..
Someone has to stop the bullshit. Have the courage to step up to the plate and do it.
Then get some counseling for the molestation incidents.
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So my relatives husband has apparently been looking for a job for a while and cant find one but keeps living in my aunts house, doesnt pay for anything and seems to be able to go on vacation and buy fancy electronics. Point is my b/f just got a new job. Its a labour intensive job lifting heavy items up to 90lbs. She asked me if he can put down my b/f name on his application as someone he knows in the company. Her husband has a serious back problem and cant lift heavy objects, stand or sit for long periods of time. Therefor I know he either wont get the job or get the job and not be very good at it. I dont want to let them use my b/f name because I dont see it ending well but dont know how to say no. Besides even if I do say no whats from stopping them as putting him down anyways. Help I dont know what to say I grew up with her and dont want to hurt her feelings. (link)
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Tell your relative that her husband's back problems preclude him from being able to work there and you couldn't live with yourself if you were partly responsible for him sustaining a potentially life altering back injury by allowing your boyfriend to be used as a reference.
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Hey. Today my boyfriend and I tried to have sex but we couldn't find a position were it was easiest for him to stay in. what it the best position for us both to be comfortable and for him to stay in? Any advice would be much appreciated. Oh we are both 17 and haven't had much sexual experience. Thanks :) (link)
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Any position where you're using a condom is good.
More seriously, though, doggy style is pretty easy for him to enter you from and he can more easily regulate the depth of his penis inside you that way.
Or you could sit directly on top of him and while he is inside you, rub your clit against his pubic bone by rocking your hips back and forth.
You didn't say how heavy you guys are. If you are normal size, it shouldn't be a problem. Just experiment and have fun with it. Sex should be playful and exploratory anyway.
If you want missionary, tilt your legs back so that you can wrap them around his upper back. Then he can just sink his penis inside you and your legs will keep him close enough to where he shouldn't fall out of you.
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Hi, i'm 13 years old and have wanted a piercing for about 2 years now.My guardians have said i have to wait until i'm 13.And i was wondering if anyone knew of any places near Muskegon MI that will do a tongue piercing? (link)
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Ugh. That is like advertising, "I give blowjobs!"
Of, "I'm white trash!"
Piercings are fine for your ears, but that is it.
And definitely never get a tattoo! God, nothing says, "slut" on a girl more than her getting inked.
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I'm a 13 year old girl, to some it may sound too young for making out but ive never made out or kissed anyone before. I'm also very self conscious, and I have had boy friends and guys that I have liked that have liked me back. but when the time comes (I hope it comes soon even though I'm nervous) I want to no how to do it. Any advice helps :)
Thank you ! (: (link)
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There is no manual for making out. Just live in the moment and it will happen organically. While you are doing it, think about the sensations and emotions you are experiencing more than what it means.
And here is one piece of advice you can carry through your life: don't overthink. Keep things simple. Don't always point the finger at yourself, don't hate yourself, and recognize that people grow at different rates. Some bloom early and some bloom late. Just try to be in charge of your life and live it according to what makes you happy and when good opportunities come along jump at them.
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Who Should Be The First One To Say "I Love You" first? The guy or the girl? (link)
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There are no rules for this. If you are feeling it, say it and let the chips fall where they may.
Stop overthinking since it will only impede your life. If he balks, well, then you have a couple of choices, right? One, break up with him; two, maintain the relationship and hope he eventually feels the same way.
Look, everybody is different and arrives at opinions and feelings at different points. So if you love him before he really feels in love with you then, well, it happens. No big deal. It's just life. But don't play games with this crap. Communicate honestly, don't expect him to read your mind and enjoy life.
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Hi I'm 17 and female. I recently got my first boyfriend, and he has made me feel so happy. He came at a time when I was really stressed and sad, and contemplating suicide. He pretty much saved me and no one knows it. But now that sad feeling is back, and its making me even more upset thinking that not even this great guy who I really love, and who really loves me, cant make me feel better about life and about myself. I just thought that after a life of neglect, having someone finally love me would make me happier, and it hasn't. Although my mood has really improved and that overwhelming sadness dissappeared for a little while, it came back to me yesterday, and I am feeling it right now. Its this strange, empty feeling that weighs me down. I just become so upset. Today I saw my boyfriend today and I was ok, still a bit sad though. I felt really disconnected from him and all our friends. And when I came home, I just felt like an idiot. I dont know why, but I just began to hate myself, I felt a horrible empty feeling, like I just wanted to die right at that moment. I hated myself for not being better to my boyfriend, for being sad at a time when I am supposed to be happy. The annoying thig is that I don't know if something is actually wrong with me, or if I am just PMSing ( it is that time of the month, and I usually get really sad because of the hormones :\ ). I have thought for a while that I might be bipolar, as I tend to have these really depressed stages, and then every now and then I am hyperactive and happy to the point that I disregard safety and don't really care about anything, like rules, or if I am annoying people, or if I might get myself into trouble.
Anyway, is it unusual for me to feel so sad when I should be feeling like Im on top of the world? Do you think there is something wrong with me? Were my expectations too high? (link)
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As an earlier comment suggested, you might have depression.
However, let's step back and try not to overthink things.
Indeed, that is the trouble with all women, especially teenagers. They pick at themselves endlessly due to their native insecurity and brood themselves into an emotional pretzel. You need to stop this because it will undermine your life.
The first step is to look at things simply:
1. Do you have friends? Yes, which puts you ahead of quite a few students on your high school campus. That is because your friends found something in you that they believe is worthwhile or they wouldn't bother. Pretty cool, right?
2. Your boyfriend thinks you're the bomb. Also pretty cool. There are a hell of a lot of kids who never had a boyfriend or girlfriend their entire teenage lives. Now if you're depressed, how do you think those left out kids feel? Be happy that you're so lucky.
3. You were born in the USA. Even though this country has a hell of a lot of problems, you are still miles more comfortable than literally half the people on the planet. You gotta be grateful for that.
4. You don't really say what kind of messages you are getting from your parents. But it actually kind of doesn't matter since it is your life only and, at some point, we all have to take control of it because only we as individuals know what makes us happy. If the general environment of where you live is a bummer to you, start making plans to move away to college and then making a life for yourself beyond that. Focus on that only and don't deviate from it.
5. Part of your self loathing is that you don't feel you measure up to other people you are acquainted with. Welcome to life! No matter how smart or accomplished one is, there will always be someone who can top it. It is inevitable given how many people there are in this world. All you can do is your best, be moral, be ethical and enjoy life on your terms without trying to define yourself through others. They are not you and you aren't them. So don't worry about it.
Incidentally, a lot of really high powered people often feel that they are frauds because they get too caught up in comparing themselves with people they envy or admire. That is totally counterproductive, though it does tend to keep one humble, which is a good thing. So you are not alone, believe me.
So keep your thinking simple, when you start to overthink, stop and just say to yourself, "uh yeah, like that was a constructive thought" and keep moving forward.
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My boyfriend and I are inseperable. He treats me like gold...always complimenting me and being so caring and loving towards me. He and I get along great, with an amazing connection and a lot of things in common. He's going to the Navy in December and he says if we last until I graduate, he wants to marry me. He is already graduated, and I am a junior. He is extremely mature, and he is very serious about this relationship, and it is weird for me because I have never ever been in a relationship like this...but I am so grateful. He is amazing.
We went to his cousin's house today and ended up having sex. Although I am sixteen, and he is seventeen, we had parental consent earlier when we first started dating, and we also used a condom. It was a little painful at first, but it felt good. I've had sex before, just not as deep, and I'll admit I'm glad I waited to have sex this time. I've always rushed into it, but having such a patient boyfriend is extremely great, because my other boyfriends have always been a little pushy on the subject. Anyway, I have always been a little insecure. And being insecure gets me scared for the worst....
I am a little scared that because my boyfriend got what every guy wants, he will ditch me soon enough. I am getting nervous just thinking about it. I know I can trust him and that we have an amazing connection outside of sex, and therefore I have nothing to worry about, but I am still very paranoid. He reassured me today, but I would like to know how I can get over my insecurities...
Thanks!!! (link)
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If he says he wants to marry you and it wasn't a line (the way you described your relationship it appears he is sincere) then I wouldn't worry, at this juncture, that he will dump you by mere dint of you guys doing the horizontal mambo.
The problems you will deal with, though are these:
1. You guys are in no way intellectually or emotionally mature. Your brain will continue to develop through the age of around 25, which means that your and his sensibilities are going to evolve and you will probably feel rather different about pretty much everything by the time you graduate college (you are going to college, right?). In addition, people regret it when they haven't gone through that phase in early adulthood when they do a lot of exploring, including being with lots of different people, and this often undermines relationships. So talk of marriage at this point is a VERY bad idea.
2. Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder, it makes it feel lonely. Human beings are social animals and he is going to be prodded by his Navy buddies to go whoring in whatever locale he is stationed at. Or he may get himself another girlfriend, either as a fill in while he is still under the sway of the armed forces, or someone he will end up preferring over you. In addition, living away from home is going to change him a lot and you may not like what he has turned into when he finishes his commitment. Military marriages also not only usually don't last, but it doesn't pay well and we have tens, if not hundreds of thousands, of military families on welfare and food stamps.
So if you step back and look at this rationally, you need to end the relationship. Yes, analyze what you have learned about yourself and life from it, but you still need to have that exploratory phase of your life unfettered by someone who is going to be thousands of miles away a lot of the time. And he needs to have those experiences, too. Go to college, the live overseas after you graduate and, if you guys meet after that and decide you want to be together you will have become fully realized adults by that time and have much more of a probability of successful relationship.
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