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Scared he'll ditch me after we had sex...
My boyfriend and I are inseperable. He treats me like gold...always complimenting me and being so caring and loving towards me. He and I get along great, with an amazing connection and a lot of things in common. He's going to the Navy in December and he says if we last until I graduate, he wants to marry me. He is already graduated, and I am a junior. He is extremely mature, and he is very serious about this relationship, and it is weird for me because I have never ever been in a relationship like this...but I am so grateful. He is amazing.
We went to his cousin's house today and ended up having sex. Although I am sixteen, and he is seventeen, we had parental consent earlier when we first started dating, and we also used a condom. It was a little painful at first, but it felt good. I've had sex before, just not as deep, and I'll admit I'm glad I waited to have sex this time. I've always rushed into it, but having such a patient boyfriend is extremely great, because my other boyfriends have always been a little pushy on the subject. Anyway, I have always been a little insecure. And being insecure gets me scared for the worst....
I am a little scared that because my boyfriend got what every guy wants, he will ditch me soon enough. I am getting nervous just thinking about it. I know I can trust him and that we have an amazing connection outside of sex, and therefore I have nothing to worry about, but I am still very paranoid. He reassured me today, but I would like to know how I can get over my insecurities...
Thanks!!!
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Well I have that problem and I am not saying this is true but I would look out. One day I was talking to a guy I had a crush on for 2 years I finally got the curage to tell him I liked him and we went out he was telling me all this stuff like I love you and want to be with you forever and that he will do anything for me and then About a mounth later I heard him talking to his friends about how he is telling mmw all this so i would give him some and i dumped he right after so i would look out for any strange activity after ya'll have had sex then confrot him about it but honey you will me fine
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From what you're saying, he sounds like a great guy. I believe that if he said he wanted to marry you and didn't rush into having sex, he won't leave you now that you've done it. Being paranoid about it is normal though. Paranoias are hard to get over. It takes time. All I can say is when you start doubting it, remind yourself that you can trust him and it won't happen.
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If he says he wants to marry you and it wasn't a line (the way you described your relationship it appears he is sincere) then I wouldn't worry, at this juncture, that he will dump you by mere dint of you guys doing the horizontal mambo.
The problems you will deal with, though are these:
1. You guys are in no way intellectually or emotionally mature. Your brain will continue to develop through the age of around 25, which means that your and his sensibilities are going to evolve and you will probably feel rather different about pretty much everything by the time you graduate college (you are going to college, right?). In addition, people regret it when they haven't gone through that phase in early adulthood when they do a lot of exploring, including being with lots of different people, and this often undermines relationships. So talk of marriage at this point is a VERY bad idea.
2. Absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder, it makes it feel lonely. Human beings are social animals and he is going to be prodded by his Navy buddies to go whoring in whatever locale he is stationed at. Or he may get himself another girlfriend, either as a fill in while he is still under the sway of the armed forces, or someone he will end up preferring over you. In addition, living away from home is going to change him a lot and you may not like what he has turned into when he finishes his commitment. Military marriages also not only usually don't last, but it doesn't pay well and we have tens, if not hundreds of thousands, of military families on welfare and food stamps.
So if you step back and look at this rationally, you need to end the relationship. Yes, analyze what you have learned about yourself and life from it, but you still need to have that exploratory phase of your life unfettered by someone who is going to be thousands of miles away a lot of the time. And he needs to have those experiences, too. Go to college, the live overseas after you graduate and, if you guys meet after that and decide you want to be together you will have become fully realized adults by that time and have much more of a probability of successful relationship.
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Just think about all the things he has done for you and continues to do for you if he was going to leave you he wouldnt bother being a great guy now that youve already had sex that should be enough for you i know it can be hard to get over your paranoya but just think about how he treats you and you should be able to ignore your insecurities. :)
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