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Am I a Queer?
Well first off I am a 30 year old Pastor. I have a lovely wife and 6 children with another on the way. Last night I had a few drinks and ended up having intercourse with another man. The worst part is I enjoyed it. I know Im going to hell for doing that with him. But do you think Im gay?
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VoiceOfReason you cant believe in Heaven if you don't believe in Hell look it up :-)
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You aren't going to hell because hell doesn't exist. How about we start joining the reality based world and leave the biblical fairy tales on the shelf where they belong?
To answer your question, yes, you are gay. Or maybe bi. A lot of guys become pastors and whatnot in hopes that it will "cure" them of their homosexual predilections. But all that does is repress them, and anything that is repressed will express itself at some point, usually in a more magnified way.
So be honest with yourself. When did you first start REALLY noticing men? I'm going to bet it was around the time you entered junior high or maybe a little before. And how often did you think to yourself over the yrars that certain actors, musicians, etc were "very handsome" or even, "cute"?
If the above describes you, you are a gay or bi.
This question was probably a troll anyway, but I had nothing better to do than to respond to it, so what the hell.
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First of all, you were drunk. Drunk people do stupid things all the time. Because you have a wife and kids, you need to let go of the guy who is a total stranger, and spend time with your wife. She is the most special person you have ever had. Don't let her go just because you got drunk. I hope things work out for you.
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I think you're asking the wrong question. It really doesn't matter whether or not you are gay. If having sex with a man is a sin, being gay doesn't somehow make it better or excuse it. What bothers me is that you seem to be willing to throw away your salvation and, presumably, your ministry and who knows what else because of this event. You say you know you're going to Hell for having sex with that man, so you're saying that Christ's blood cannot cover this sin? That this sin is beyond redemption?
This event has revealed some things about yourself to you. It has demonstrated your susceptability to temptations that violate your faith and your conscience. Now your task is to repent and get some Godly counsel and support. This is going to require some soul-searching and working through of some issues. Find a man who is mature in faith, not given to gossip, and trustworthy to confide in and discuss where you go from here.
Again, I think you're asking the wrong question. Are you looking for a sign you can hang around your neck? Perhaps a heavy one so that you will have an excuse to wallow in a behavior that violates your faith and conscience? Perhaps one which defines for you your expectations and and approach to life? Or perhaps, from the other direction, a reassurance of, "whew! I'm not gay! I just had a weird experience. I'm okay!"
Forget the labels. You need to take responsibility for your own faith, behavior, and life. You have some things to work through and you need to get some support to help you work through them. There's a lot that needs to be explored here which is hard to address in a succinct, reader-friendly manner. You need to talk this out with someone you can trust.
I would be happy to discuss this further in a more specific and detailed fashion if you wish, giving due consideration to your faith paradigm.
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The only way to really answer this question is to ask yourself...
Do you find men attractive? Can you see yourself with a man? Do you prefer men over women?
There is nothing wrong with being gay, Life should be about living it too it's fullest.
If you enjoyed having sex with a man, That's fine.
If you enjoy both men and women you could just be bisexual and there is nothing wrong with that one either.
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