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Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Occupation: IT Girl
Age: 19
Member Since: September 28, 2005
Answers: 704
Last Update: April 6, 2007
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About Mara
Hey, I'm Mara. I love dancing. It's practically my favourite thing to do. I love House, R&B, pretty much everything with a good beat, and Benny Benassi is my hero; that's why my column is a shrine to him. I graduated this year and am now in my first year of college where I'm trying to pick a major. Chances are you'll see some of my Psychology questions floating around somewhere here. I'm also extremely interested in Political Science too because I, like half the people living in Canada, somehow want to change the world. I particularly want to find a cure for poverty, corruption, cancer, AIDS and George Bush because honestly, I think those are the biggest problems we have right now. I have decided that maybe I should take the time to live a little before I start though because I have a good fifty years ahead of me to fix all the issues there are. Currently my life consists of: studying, working, socializing, eating and ocassionaly sleeping. I spent practically all of my high school life being a delinquent and partying to huge extents until I discovered my brain sometime in the middle of my senior year. I still like to have a good time every once in a while but you always need to find that balance (I haven't exactly found it yet but I'm getting close). Unfortunatley, a habit that has stuck with me from school is my obsessive gossiping. I just can't stop and you know, an article in Cosmo says that gossipers are healthier people because they bond over it? Who would have thought? Anyway, I do have my limitations and I don't condone nasty, brutal gossiping and I don't gossip about anything my friends have told me in confidence or something about someone else that they have slipped to me, however, if I find you in a washroom at a random party making out with my bestfriends's boyfriend, a few people are probably going to hear about it. Actually, more than a few people will hear about it because one of my absolute pet peeves is parties where the all the bathrooms are occupied due to sexual activity or... puking activity. Sooooo what else is there to know about me? My favourite thing in the world is shopping and my worst fear is existantialism. I am OCDey in a clinical way so you can ask me questions about that. You can ask me practically anything you want except for dumb questions but I'm not going to answer them in my little column here because it's a huge waste of space when I could be writing about myself (Click 'LookIt' on my menubar for answers to dumb questions so you don't have to embarass yourself asking them and getting bitched out from me). What I can do, is offer you three pieces of truly inspirational advice. Firstly, never live your life by what others want of you, cherish yourself and everyone around you, and never beat yourself down about anything you couldn't have avoided. Secondly, donate at least ten percent of the income you earn in your life to someone who needs it. Lastly, never get into a bulldozer when you're under the influence and start driving it towards a poor freshmen (I am never going to another kegger ever again... ever). Ok, I'll shut up now. You can start asking me stuff, if you haven't hit the back button already.
Divit says hi
He is the cutest thing ever
Advicenators.com
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Can you have sex if you're 3 months pregnent?
Yes. Have fun.
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I've recently encountered guys that just hardcore stare. I was by the stage at one show, and two guys i had met previously but were not completely friendly with (only met, don't talk to them) were standing on the opposite side of the stage. One of them kept looking at me, even when i looked back and caught him staring. He just kept right on holding eye contact, not smiling, but just watching.. Then later, his other friend was staring at me out of the corner of his eye. I looked right back because when people stare you can usually feel it, you know? Even after i looked back he kept on staring.
is it because they know more about me than i think they do? are they intimidated to talk to me? what is going on, what are guys thinking when they just hardcore STARE at you for no reason.
They're checking you out.
I've had guys like those stare at me. They do it unflinchingly and it might even feel threatning.
As to why they don't talk to you, it could be intimidation. More likely, they find you intriguing and they don't know what to do about it. I don't have anymore information about what you look like, whether you're friends with them or not and where this happened, so I can't surmise an exact reason.
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how do you deal with crazy friends?
right now i am going out with a guy that one of my best friends dated, and i mean DATED. i started to like him like months before i told her, before i really told anyone because he is one of my close friends too. they dated for a year and a half and broke it off this past june. at the end of november he had a short relationship with another girl but that didn't work out. when i had a really good feeling that something was going to happen between us i told her and she told me that i was crazy for being afraid to tell her before, but she was really cranky and jealous over his last girlfriend, i it's think because she broke up with him and hasn't dated since. but now we date and it's only been for 2 weeks now and all i have gotten from her are dirty looks, whispers to friends and mean comments about him. what can i do to get her to stop acting the way that she said she wouldn't act in the first place?
sorry that it's kinda long.
First of all, obviously, your friend still cares a lot. They went out for a year and a half! She'll never admit it though because why would she want to look desperate enough to care about her ex-boyfriend's girlfriends?
You should never have to ask your friend if it's ok for you to go out with her ex because the no is a given. If they went out for more than a year, it's practically a sin to date him. Even if she found a boyfriend, it will still be a really sticky situation and it's going to be even after you break up with this guy. The damage is already done but you need to start repairing it immediately. I hate to tell you this but, you'll need to say bye bye to the guy or they kiss your friendship farewell. You know the rule, chicks before dicks.
Sorry. Good luck
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if you want to try doing drugs and its your own decision...is it wrong?
& what do ya do when//if ur parents find out?
your friend the
-XxX-soon 2 b drugy -XxX-
I'm not going to tell you that drugs are bad or that you shouldn't do them because why would you want to listen to a total stranger?
All I ask is that you think thoroughly and stay informed by taking a look at websites like http://www.freevibe.com/ and others.
What you say to your parents depends on the situations and the level of tolerance in your parents.
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hey im 15/f is there any way i can get my legs sexier? cuz i have some marks on my legs... etc and i just wanted 2 know if there was any ways i could get cuter legs? i rate high!
Yeah, I have the same problem. Solution:
Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs
It costs you but it works like a charm.
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okay im havin a party and i just burnt a new cd and i forgot 2 songs i dont want to burn one with only 2 songs on it and i basically have all the new songs! i only listen 2 R&B , Rap , and Hip Hop so if you know any really new songs out that i might not have can u tell me! thnkz
Here are the songs that recently hit the billboard top 100 that I think are newer:
When I'm Gone by Eminem
Be Without You by Mary J. Blige
Real Love by Massari (loves it)
Don't Forget About Us by Mariah Carey (loves it)
Stickwitu by The Pussycat Dolls
If It's Lovin' That You Want by Rihanna (loves it)
Grillz by Nelly
Unpredictable by Jamie Foxx
Heard 'Em Say by Kanye West (loves it)
There It Go (The Whistle Song) by Juelz Santana (loves it)
Check On It by Beyonce (loves it)
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alright.. My boyfriend was saying goodbye over the internet and he said I love you so much and i said i love you more & i'll see you tomorrow & then he said "in that we must agree to disagree." what does that mean?
I'll rate you
He means that you guys both agree that you disagree that the other loves the first more.
In simpler terms,
He says it's ok that you claim that you love him more that he loves you.
You say it's ok that he claims that he loves you more than you love him.
He's just being cute. He loves you.
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Anyone know some really good pop/rock love songs? 5's for good suggestions.
I had this question a few days ago, here are a few. I'll write the genre too, just so you know:
Rock - You and Me by Lifehouse
Rock - Chariot by Gavin DeGraw
Rock - Sugar We're Going Down by Fallot Boys
Rock - You're Beautiful by James Blunt
Rock/Pop - The Trouble With Love Is by Kelly Clarkson
Pop - Luxurious by Gwen Stefani
Pop/R&B - Don't Forget About Us and We Belong Together by Mariah Carey
Pop/R&B - If I Ain't Got You by Alicia Keys
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Ok, i recently posted a "get advice" thing because my sister hates me, and wanted to know what to do about it. So i started to talk to my friend, Mel who is REALLY good with advice, and i went on and on on how horrible my life was and she said:
her: NO
her: don't even start on that "my whole life" shit
her: okay!
her: You life has sucked i guess
her: I mean, duh, you've had a family, and money, and you get anything you want. You have both parents who love you
her: My dad died on christmas eve, my family has NO money, my mom is depressed
her: my older brother won't move out
her: don't even start saying that your whole life has sucked
her: because you have NO CLUE what a sucky life is like!
and then she signed off. Now her away messages says "Yeah, pretty pissed right now. Don't feel like talking. Be back on later." and i totally can relate, but i just REALLY hope i dont lose her friendship. Like, she's really the only person who understands me, and has been there for me. I really dont want to lose her. And i thought since we were such good friends i could just sorta cry on her shoulder, when it turns out she was the one who wanted to cry i guess. What do i do? i called her house, but her brother said she was sleeping, although i really dont think she was. What i want to know is, 1. how do i know she'll still be my friend, and 2. what do i do when i need to get this off my chest? cause i obviously need someone to talk to :(
Thanx,
-Daddy's Little Defect
Well really, all your friend needs is someone who cares right now because she is obviously the couselour of your group and I know how it feels to be like that. Mel is a person who is the "wise" one and she gives advice but sometimes she feels like no one is listening to her, because you probably aren't. It's not really your fault though, you've probably just taken her for granted without realizing it. The important thing is that you know now and you can mend this.
So here are the answers to your questions:
1. You don't know that she will. What you do know is that you need to do something without waiting for her to get over yourself and start letting you dump on her. You need to either write her an e-mail telling her that you're sorry you were being selfish and that you didn't consider her problems and you want her to know that you'll always be there for her and that she should know that she's really special. Or you should go over to her house right now with cookies or chocolate or icecream or a movie or anything and tell her you're sorry and ask her if she wants to have a little girl time where you guys can talk without being bugged, then let her unload on you so you can help her get through her problems (during this time, don't even mention your sister or any other issues of yours even if she asks to hear them, right now is her time). Hopefully, she'll come around and you gusy will be ok again. Just don't make the same mistake of ignoring her again.
2. After a while, Mel will start listening to you again but you have to make sure you don't rant too often because no one wants to hear unpleasantness all the time. I would say that you should keep a diary (or an online journal like livejournal.com or blogger.com). Writing about it will make you feel -a lot- better. If you aren't that type of a person, go talk to a couselor at school or another friend. You can even come on this site and ask for help.
I hope everything turns out alright.
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this is what happened..
an hour and 10 minutes ago my phone rang and my caller ID said it was my boyfriend so i was all excited and im like 'hayy' and my 'friend' answers so im like what? She goes 'hey its ***** im at the mall with *my boyfriends name* ahahhaahahhaha ok bye' im like what the hell that was really mean and i start hysterically crying.
so i call my boyfriends phone and she answers nd im crying nd im like 'can i talk to *my boyfriends name*' and shes like 'why are you pist' nd im like 'because you call me and your like 'oh yea were at the mall and im with *my boyfriends name* and your not haha'
Im like 'can you put him on please' shes like no why are you pist' im like 'can you put him on please' nd shes like no nd im like can you just put him on! and she goes YOUR A BITCH and hangs up!!
so now im crying 10x harder
I call one of my good friends for support and when she answers i hear their voices in the backround talking about it so im like OMG SHES WITH THEM! I say 'are you at the mall' nd shes like 'yea why are you mad at *friends name*' nd im like 'is *my boyfriends name* there' shes like yea nd im like can i talk to him shes like r u crying? im like yea and then she screams '*my boyfriends name* YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS CRYING COME HERE NOW AND TALK TO HER!!"
I hear "*my friends' name* screaming NO NO NO DONT TALK TO THAT BITCH and MY BOYFRIEND IS LAUGHING!!!!! and she hangs up on me like taking the phone from him. so now im crying 10x than before
I call him nd hes like 'why is *'my friends' name* so pist at u' nd im like 'howcome when i ask to talk to my boyfriend i get called a bitch' and hes like 'i dont know because your being..nevermind im not gonna say it *our friends name* you say it' and hands the phone to our friend.
So then our friend says "why are you mad at *'my friends' name* nd i told him nd hes like ohh or whatever and my boyfriend gets back on the phone nd im like 'you know what go go be with them because i dont give a shit. go have fun'
He goes 'no' nd im like YES **** BECAUSE I DONT CARE AND NEITHER DO YOU SO HAVE FUN' nd he goes 'sorry bye' nd i hang up! that makes me 305894085940865 times worse because he doesnt even care
i was crying for so long. this is soo horrible! what should i do? and he always says to me 'what are you doing later/tomorrow want to hang out?' and im always like 'yeah' but we never wind up doing anything and now he goes to the mall with my best friends and he doesnt invite me, neither do me so called 'bffs'. im so effing upset right now. any advice? anything at all. oh and if you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all'
thanks for reading all of this. xo byee
I'm sorry but what the fuck is that? Quite obviously, your friends are total immature losers who have no life.
If they wanted to chill with your boyfriend, they could have done that and not been such idiots about it and called you for no reason.
Your boyfriend is being a jerk and you know what? You shouldn't tolerate that.
What you have to do now is pull yourself together and ignore your friends and your boyfriend for a bit. Just pretend that you don't give a fuck and you think they're way too juvenile and they need to grow up.
Next order of business? Make plans with HIS friends. If he can chill with your friends, why can't you chill with his? If you can't find anyone there, go to the mall with ANY guy (or two if they don't feel comfortable going on a date-like thing, just no girls) and try to bump into your boyfriend and your friends or find a subtle way to let your boyfriend know that you're there with guys.
All he needs is a taste of his own medicine. If he has a problem with you hanging around any of his friends or other guys, he can go fuck himself.
As for the first chick who called you, she's nothing but a jealous bitch who has beef against you and has found an idiotic desperate way to deal with it. People like that aren't even worth talking to. She had no excuse to be a bitch and spazz out at you like that.
This whole group of people need to get a life. I understand that you can't ditch them all, because obviously, as shitty as they're acting, they're your friends. Next time, just act cool and detached around them and don't talk so much.
I'm sorry you had to go through this honey, some people are just dicks.
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Do you guys believe that high school sweethearts can last throughout adulthood? I've heard from many people that if they end up getting married they'll just end up miserable. Or that most end after senior year.
Yes. I can think of three couples right off the bat who have been together since high school. And all three pairs have been together for at least twenty years.
Don't let people convince you that the odds are against you or whatever. Your first love is the most pure love because you're so young and untroubled by the real world. If you can hang on to that, you can get through anything. Your high school sweetheart is solid in your life right now and if it continues, it will be a constant stability for the rest of your life.
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what does it mean when a guy asks u if u will let them smash
The male desires the admittance of his phallus into a single or additional parts of your anatomy, more akin to your pudenda or oral organs.
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My father died about 3 years ago and now I am going out with this boy that is a lot like him...is that a bad thing? I mean I love him but he is just...a lot like my dad! Am I being stupid going out with him or is it like a bad ideas or something? I have these feelings like he is going to leave me, but I thought that maybe that is just because my dad "left" me...I don't know...I'm confusing...I know! But I would really like any help I can get!thanks!
No, it's not dumb. It's normal. Women are generally attracted to men who are like their father while men look for women who are like their mother. It isn't wrong in anyway. It's genetic.
You can read more about it in these articles:
Women Marry Men Who Look Like Dad
00:01 28 April 2004
NewScientist.com news service
Shaoni Bhattacharya
http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn4928
’Eau de dad’ woos women
http://www.innovations-report.com/html/reports/life_sciences/report-7109.html
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Do teen guys (around 14/15 years old) care a lot about a girl's weight? I get a dress down day tommorrow for school (my school wears uniforms) and i want to look nice but im really insecure about my thighs and i dont know if all the guys will be like OMG shes sooo fat and not like me. I know it shouldnt matter but i want to know if its a big issue with guys in general. (directed towards teenage guys reading this: ) when you look at a girl a you think shes pretty would she be unattractive to you if her legs are kinda big? do a girls looks really matter if you like her?
thanks if anyone answers
Guys don't notice.
They don't date girls because of their size or attractivness. A few guys (if you're going for the preppy/popular types) will but not based on their own opinions.
For example,
Jenny doesn't like Karly because Karly dyed her hair blonde and lost more weight than Jenny.
Jenny bitches to James and John.
James and John figure that Karly is hot because she has blonde hair, is skinny and Jenny is jealous.
James and John meet Kenny and tell him that they think Karly is hot.
Kenny decides that Karly is hot and asks her out.
There are different variations of this but it pretty much boils down to the same idea.
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i have been best friends with my friend sammie since about 7th grade. now i'm a junior & i'm not quite sure what to make of our friendship anymore. we are not in any of the same classes this year& we never see each other in the hallways either, so basically i don't see her in school. in the beggining of the year we still did stuff together, but now she has a new friend & doesn't seem to make an effort to hang with me. now i'm not against her making new friends (i have made new ones too), but we are nowhere near as close as we use to be. i still like her, but i don't know where this friendship is going & i would just like an opinion on what you make of the situation or if you have any advice on if i should let the friendship go or keep trying. thanks, for good advice i rate 5's.
The only think you can do is keep being friendly to her and doing your bit. Eventually, she'll realize how much she misses you and come back to you. If not, well it's her loss.
From my experience, once you're in high school, everything changes. Friends are more likely to seperate than come back together. It's a way of life. The population of high schools are bigger so a student has more chances of finding someone/a group that they can relate to better.
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ok so me & my bf had sex and we had done it once, and then like 10 mins. later again, so we had two condoms used , well when he left he tied them together and i saw them tied and there was a bunch of juice in them .. it was pretty much clear
so basically im wondering what that was since im pretty positive its not cum
ill rate 5's
thank you ! !!
It's semen.
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ok so there's this guy..and i like him sooooo much! we went out but then like 2 days later he broke up with me..and i thought i was upset but wasnt really until i realized that i really loved him.. because as we started hanging out more and more i liked him more and more each time and when we hang out he can get a little mean.. like he'll say stuff then pretend hes joking..like he's called me a whore and he told me my ceeto's were gonna go straight to my ass..? then out of nowhere decides he wants to hook up with me.. but the other nigh ti i/m him and i told him i didnt like the fact that he says those kinda things to me and he got like really mad and told my friends he hated me and that he never wanted to talk to me or see me ever again and this hurt me soo bad because he told me he would never ever hate me and like the night before he told my friend that he loved me and he told alot of other people he loved me and now i tried talking to him and he wont listen and i told him i was sorry and that i know i screwed everything up and crap.. but he still hasnt answered me.. and no matter how much he hates me..there will always be a little part of me that still loves him and that will never change..how can i just forget about him? how do i stop loving him?
Honey, this boy is bad news. You were honest with him and told him to stop calling you a whore. Is this what your mistake was? Is asking for respect so wrong?
In my opinion, he should be crying over you because you didn't screw up anything, -he- did.
You just need to use your normal 'get over him' routine. Icecream, friends, whatever it takes. Just give yourself some time and find someone who really appreciates you.
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well she likes me, but shes 12. and im 16, so thats a dead no, but something keeps nagging at me..... like this morning 1 changed clothes like 4 times because i didnt know what shed like.... and im not like this. and the daughter, well rebecca shes really cute and all, but shes 12 and the principals daughter, i know this seems so wrong but i dunno...i really dont know what to do and this is a first time that i really dont know what to do next.
Well, your attitude shows that you are attracted to her but in our society, your relationship won't be a very happy one.
Not only will you be looked down by the principal, but she'll get nagged too. She could be called a slut or an LG by other girls and lets face it, girls are bitches.
You also need to question her motives. What kind of guy are you? If you're the modern 'bad boy', mayeb she's doing this to rebel against her parents.
You can always go for it if you really want to but even if you wait four years until she's 16 and you're 20, you'll still feel like a cradle-robber. Are you really willing to wait 8 years for this girl?
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OK this might sound nasty but i need help. Ok listen im really worried. OK im 15, I've had sex before right, and i had sex 7 times and 3 outta those times i didn't use protection. I haven't had sex w/ out a condom since the summer. So Like last month i started to notice this wierd smell down there.. it don't smell nasty like fish or anything..but i don't know what it is and i can smell it a lot.. I don't know what it could be!?! if anyone knows please help...I'LL RATE 5s !!!!
Go to a doctor or planned parenthood clinic ASAP.
It certainly sounds like an Sexually Transmitted Infection, if you're never experienced it before.
Maybe it's something minor like a yeast infection. You should go get it checked out to make sure it isn't serious.
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how can i hide a hicky from my parents..i dont have really long hair so that wont work and i dont wear turtlenecks so yeah i need help
Obtain a cold spoon or other utensil or for now just use ice in a ziploc bag.
Rub aloe vera on the hickey and then rub it with the cold spoon/utensil/ice to reduce the swelling and speed healing. Do this for about 5 minutes ASAP.
Then use coverup or foundation or any other makeup (eyeshadow even) to make it stop looking so much like a hickey.
A choker or a well-placed earring could also help hide it. You could try improvising and making your own choker/necklace out of string or something.
Be careful next time, honey. And always keep a spoon in your freezer for emergencies like this.
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