Although I am only 18 I have been through more than most adults have. If you have any questions about drugs, suicide, or family problems then I can help you out a lot. I've had to deal with all of that and I want to try and help people before they get as involved in it as I was. I will try to understand your situation the best that I can and give the best advice that I can. So ask me anything and I will answer you.
Gender: Female
Location: boston
Age: 18
Member Since: April 27, 2005
Answers: 110
Last Update: November 25, 2007
Visitors: 6649
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So I went out with some friends and they played spin the bottle and I was dared to kiss this kid. I was so effing afraid to though, Im such a prude. even my best friend (whos a guy) had to kiss this girl and he did and I thought he was the same as me. I really wanted to, but im so afraid somethings going to go wrong. Anyone ever have this problem that could give me some advice? rate you for anything...seriously... (link)
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If it's your first kiss (which it sounds like it would be) then it's normal to be nervous I was nervous about my first kiss. Actually I was terrified. I know what you're going through I was afraid I would do something wrong or mess up or something. But trust me it's fine. Just go with it. You don't have to kiss someone if you're not ready to though. Don't rush it you'll know when you're ready and when you are it will just happen. Don't worry about it it will be ok. When it finally does happen it will be great and you will happy that you did it. Really don't worry about it when it's ready to happen it will happen and it will be wonderful.
Good luck and I hope I helped
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well lately i keep questioning the relationship between my boyfriend and i. i analyze every little thing he says in letters,emails,on a site we both use,on the phone. i dont do it as often when him and i are together in person. i'm not sure what to make of it. perhaps i'm afraid of things ending and letely paranoid he will find someone else. the thing is he doesn't realize hes too good for me because i am his first girlfriend so i suppose he hasnt seen what exactly the best is yet. (link)
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Ok, if he's stayed with you then he must care about you. You should just trust him. Don't be afraid of the relationship ending or if things don't work out. You must really care about him but if it's meant to be then it will work out and if it's not then it won't. You need to just trust him. If he hasn't realized that he's too good for you then he's probably not. He probably just cares about you and doesn't care about what anyone else says or thinks or who's "the best." You should think about that. He's your boyfriend. Try to relax and have a good time with him. You need to just trust him and have fun with your relationship. Don't be worried about him leaving you enjoy it while it lasts. I don't know how old you are but if you break up it's not the end of the world you will find someone else and if you two are meant to be together then you will probably get back together. If he didn't care about you then he would have probably left you already. Just relax and trust your boyfriend. He probably cares a lot about you and wants to be with you.
Good luck and I hope I helped
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My brother died a week ago and at first I didn't do anything it was like I couldn't think or function at all. Then I just cried for like a day. Now it's like he's all I can think about. I lived with him. My parents died when I was really little and my brother basically raised me. I've always cut but not as bad as I have been lately. It's like I can't stop everday when I get home from school I cut all day in school I think about my brother and it makes me want to cut. My friend knows about my brother but she doesn't know about the cutting. I'm scared to tell her because I dont' want to be put somewhere or have to go to a shrink. I really like cutting. I've heard some bad stuff about it but I just don't see why it's so bad. I know that she'll see the bad side of it and try to stop me or get me "help" but I don't need it or want it. I know my friend and I feel about not telling her the truth so should I tell my friend what I've been doing or should I just keep it a secret? (link)
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First of all I'm soo sorry that you've had to go through all of this and I know what's it's like to want to cut. But listen you need to stop. I know it makes you feel better and I know you think that it's helping you but it's not. There are better ways to deal with the pain that you are feeling. Cutting is not the solution. If you tell your friend she will probably try to help you or get you proffesional and it sounds to me like that's exactly what you need. You need help. You may not want to admit it but you do. Think about your friend. What happens if you accidently cut yourself too deep and you end up in a hospital or dead? How do you think that will make her feel? If she cares about you which I think she does then it will hurt her. If you had a friend who was hurting themselves would you want to get them help? These are questions that you have to answer for yourself. Once you know what you would do if you were in her shoes then you can make this situation better for yourself. You need to tell you friend and you need to let her help you.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you
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school is full of bitches, i know....this one girl who is my 'freind' walkes around wispering to people. she yells about how she and her bf are on 3rd base. then she critisizes you. she should not be talking...(this is gonna sound soo mean) she is so fat that she takes up 2 bus seats. no boy will go near at her in our school. i think she makes it up. she is acting really bitchy to people w/out boyfreinds, (or people like me who keep them secret) when she found out about my bf. she started being nice to me. she wants me to walk around and.....u kno. i want to get rid of her, but she followes me around. she also asks deatails about my bfs kisses. i really hate her. how do i rid myself?
ps: i am 13, and she is almost 14.. (link)
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Frist you should try to tell her how you feel. Tell her that you can't stand the way she acts and treats people and that you don't want to be friends with her because of it. If she won't listen to her when you tell her nicely then you need to be brutally honest. Tell her that you can't stand her you might even have to yell to get your point across. If you really want her away from you then you might have to be mean. It sounds like she's a real bitch and she deserves it so it shouldn't be that hard. Try writing her a note and talking to her nicely to tell her how you feel and if that doesn't work then be a bitch back. I wish I could be more help.
Good luck and I hope things work out
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Ookay.. I can't really sleep well at night.. like i always wake up in the morning and can't fall asleep until like 30 minutes after..Does anyone know how i can fall asleep and stay asleep better?
Note: I sleep with a t.v. on .. but can't fall asleep with out it.And i didnt know what category to pick so i picked a random one (link)
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Try talking to your parents about it ask them about maybe seeing a doctor about it. You might have mild insomnia or something like that and you could be perscribed sleeping pills for it. You could also try tylenol pm. It usually helps me sleep when I can't it might help you too.
Good luck and I hope I helped
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okay heres the story. my best friend cut really bad at the end of 7th grade(were in 8th now) and over that summer. the school, both friends and the administration, was aware but she never really got any kind of help. seh always carved peoples names who had hurt her or someone who was really important to her. okay this has to coem out to. shes bi so these people are girls. one was a best friend who stopped being friends with her another was a girlfriend and one is an x girlfriend. okay sorry that was kind of irrelevent. but anyway she got a lot better after this girl broke her heart. (i know you would think she would get worse) anyway she only cut maybe three times the whole school year. i stopped really worrying about it. but then in the past week she did it really bad. only me and this other girl who cuts too knows about it. before i always could see how unhappy my best friend was but this time i couldnt really understand. nothing really drastic happened and she seemed to be doing a lot better in recent months. okay heres my dilema. she siad not to tell anyone and if i did she would know it was me and not talk to me again or at least be extremely pissed. and i know shes not lying no matter how much i mean to her. now i want to get her help but i dont know how. i dont know if she can be helped with the additude she has now.
so: do i speak up and if so who should i tell?
what would be the best help to get her?
please give me any ideas. im open to anything. and dont waste youre time if youre going to be an ignorant a** like some people on this thing.
(link)
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I think the first you should do is talk to her. I used to cut and can get addicting even if nothing's wrong she might cut just because it gives her a rush. She needs to get proffesional help she could really hurt herself if she cuts herself deep enough. She will probably say that she knows what she's doing and that she wouldn't make that mistake but it happens all the time. She could end up in the hospital and get very sick if she cuts herself too deep or isn't careful about what she cuts herself with. YOu need to tell someone. She may not talk to you but you need to get her some help. You have to ask yourself what's more important your friends health and possibly life or your friendship. I know that you care about your friend and you want to do what's best for her and getting her help is the best thing for her. You need to talk to your parents or a school counselor tell her that you are really worried about her and you want to get her some proffesional help. When I was cutting it got really bad my friends got me some help and at first I wanted nothing to do with it finally they sent me to a shrink who really helped me. At first I was pissed at my friend for telling someone but once I got some help and I straightened things out I realized that she did the right thing and I'm so glad that she did get me help. YOu need to do this for your friend. If it is really a problem for her then she needs help. Cutting is not helping and can be extremely dangerous. Talk to your parents, or the school and get your friend some proffesional help before she really hurts herself.
Good luck and I hope things work out
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my dad recently died and i cried a lot when it happened but the day after i didnt really cry but i think about it a lot. I was wondering if if it is wrong not to be crying and should be. (link)
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It's not wrong that you're not crying. People deal with these types of things in their own ways. Just because you don't cry for him all the time doesn't mean that you're doing anything wrong. You cried for him the day it happened and you probably will cry for him again. You loved your dad and don't worry about crying for him. It will happen when it happens just don't hold it in if you need to cry then let it out. I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope things get better for you.
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I have to find out how many mcdonald's there are worldwide..does anyone know? It's for my human geography class..thanks so much..First 10 people..I rate you a 5 if you actually help me.. (link)
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I think there's like 1 million 4 hundred something. I checked it and i got a couple different answers but that one was the one i got the most
hope i helped
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hi my mom has cancer, and i have told my friends but only reluctantly about it and this was a while ago. I only didnt want to tell them because i didnt want for them to feel sorry for me. i dont need that. I was so sad when she first told my family. I havent cried since excpet when she accidently made me read an article about cancer and it was all about bad stories and unhappy endings, not what i needed to hear. my parents havent ever tried to talk to me about it but i am not the kind of person to talk openly. I try to keep it off my mind and think about what i can do, and try to be helpful. what i can basically. but at a sleepover my friends talked to me about this and they sort of emplied that i wasnt as concerned and sad as i should be. do you think I am handling this well? what do you think i should do? please dont give me something like, just talk to your friends, thanks that'd be great! (link)
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First your friends don't know what you're going through or how you're dealing with it and until they do they can't understand so it wouldn't do much to talk to them anways. I was the exact same way when my uncle got cancer. He was like a father figure to me so it was really hard. Like you I tried to keep my mind off of it and do whatever I could to help. I don't like to talk about my feelings so I chose not to. I thought that was the best way to handle it. What you are doing is ok you don't have to talk about your feelings unless you want to. But if you want to then talk to your parents, a close friend, or maybe even just your mom if you think it will help you. Also don't be worried about crying. It's a good way to let things out. If you don't want people to know that you've been crying then that's fine go up in your room and just cry and cry until it's out of your system. It will make you feel a little better. I can tell that you obviously love your mother and that you don't want anything to happen to her. And I'm sure that she knows it too. That's what's important not what your friends think about it.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you and your mom.
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I'm 14, and a girl. We just found out that my grandpa had cancer about a month and a half ago. We knew something was wrong but we weren't sure what. It was too bad when we found out so the medicine didn't do anyghing. Hes slowly getting worse and can die any day now. My whole family is devestated and sometimes i just can't take the feeling i get inside. =( My boyfriends grandma had an anurism and then 3 strokes, and now she's dying too, and it's going to happen the same way (go into a comma and stop breathing) and around the same time. We live in jersey but his grandmas in florida so he just went down there. I don't have him with me when i need him most and im just really upset. My cousin on my other side of the family doesn't care about anything that's happening to me, and he's hated me for the past 9 monthes because im going out with his friend! He won't even talk to me now, and he even has my step-sister on his side. I'm just really upset and i don't know what to do. Sometimes i just break down and cry which sort of helps, but is there anything else? Please help me, Im soo upset! Thank you (link)
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First I am so sorry that this is happening to you.
Try to just be near your grandfather as much as you can. Talk to him and tell him that you love him. Even if he doesn't remember you it will help you to just talk to him and it will be good for him too. Is there anyway that you can call your boyfriend so that you can at least talk to each other and get your feelings out that way? That will probably help you get through this too. This is going to be hard for you and your family and the best way to get through it is to talk about how you're feeling and cry. If your cousin wants to be an ass then don't have anything to do with him for right now. Try not to even think about him. You have enough things to worry about right now and you don't need to be worrying your childish cousin. Again I'm soo sorry that this is happening and it will be tough and I know how hard it is to lose someone you love but you CAN get through it.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you.
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Im a 14 year old girl and last year, my cousin broght his best friend to one of my family pool partys. My cousins a year younger than me, but his friend/neighbor was my age. We talked all night and had a great time. We hung out other times too and became best friends. We've been going out for 9 monthes now but my cousin HATES it! At first he was makin fun of us, but he's been trying to break us up ever since. I'm not trying to take my bf away from my cousin, but my cousin thinks i am. I love my bf soo much and i want to spend as much time with him as i can, but i do let them hang out alone sometimes. My bf is getting kinda pissed at my cuz and he'd rather b with my sometimes, but my cuz is soo pissed and he like treats my bf like shit when hes soo nice to him. My cousin thinks i treat him bad, by going out with his friend and it really upsets me, is there anything i can do? Thanks! (link)
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Talk to your cousin. Ask him why he's being such an ass about this. He needs to know that you love your bf and that he loves you and that neither of you have a problem with that fact that your bf is friends with your cousin. He needs to know that you don't care if they spend time together and that you understand that sometimes they want to hang out without you around. He also needs to know what your bf thinks of this. If he continues to treat your bf like shit and acts like an ass then he won't want to hang out with him. You are not doing anything by going out with his friend. You're not keeping them from being friends you give them time to hang out without you around so you are doing absolutely nothing wrong. Talk to your cousin and have your bf do it too.
Good luck and I hope things work out.
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Ok. First, my sister is graduating this year. Second, im getting ignored a lot lately. Its been really bugging me and i cant stand it. All my parents talk about is my sister and how shes growing up. Im not jelous but it would be nice for my family to acknowledge me once and awhile. I love my sister and im gonna miss her when she goes to college but shes not the only one on the planet right now... should i talk to my sister and parents about it or what??? UGH! (link)
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First it's not your sisters fault so don't be mad at her, but you should talk to her about how you've been feeling lately. Tell her that you are going to miss her and you love her and also tell her that lately you've been feeling ignored and that it's getting to you. She can probably help encourage your parents to pay more attention to you. You should also talk to your parents. Tell them that you understand why they are spending soo much time with her and why they are always talking about her. Then tell them how you've been feeling ignored and how you would like it if they would start to pay a little morea attention to you. Hopefully they will understand where you're coming from and talk to you about it then they will start to pay more attention to you.
Good luck and I hope things work out for you.
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My grandfather commited suicide in April of this year. And it seems I can't cope with it. I was suicidal for a while and i have been battleing depression. I just feel like I can't be emotional about it because I have to be strong for my family, especially my mother. and none of my friends understand. I guess where I'm needing advice is I was wondering how i can bring the topic up with my best friend where she will listen to me and let me vent instead of turning it around about herself. and is that even the best way to cope with the problem i am having with not being open with it? or should I just continue what I am doing and try my hardest to stay strong? (link)
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The fact that you're staying strong for your mother is nice of you. I'm sure that she needs that. But you need to let your feelings out too. If you don't think that you should do it with your mom then that's fine stay strong for her but talk to your friend. You need to tell her that you need to talk and let things out because it's not good to keep things bottled up inside of you. When you're alone with her try saying that things have been really hard because you are depressed about your grandfather but you don't want to talk about it with your mom because you want to be strong with her. Tell her that you really need to talk to her and that you need her to just listen to you so that you can let your feelings out. She's best friend she should understand. If you are unable to vent to your friend try writing about it. Sometimes when I'm depressed about things I try writing it down. You could also lock yourself in your room and just let it all out. Staying strong for your mother is a very mature thing to do and I'm sure that she appreciates but you need to let your feelings out.
Good luck and I hope that things get better for you
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a girl at my school has been going through a very tough time lately. her dad left 3 weeks ago and she just found out that she might be pragnant. this would be much easier if she WASN'T 13!!! but she is and we are best friends. im the only one that knows about the pregnant thing. what do i tell her i rate high for a real answer
thanx (link)
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You need to tell her an show her that you are there for her. She is probably having so many mixed emotions and feelings and wondering what she should do or whe she did. I used to have problems with my father and I would always wonder what I did. She obviously knows that she can trust you and that you are there for her becasue you are the only one that she has confided in about being pregnant. Because she is only 13 I suggest that she has the baby and gives it up for adoption unless her mother is willing and able to help her with it. Your friend needs you right now to support and listen to her no matter what she decides or what she says. You just need to reasure her and let her know what you think. She also needs to tell her mother about her pregnancy. She will be able to help her more than you can. She may be scared to do that but it's important that she does. She will need your support in that too. Just make sure that you are there for her and she knows that.
Good luck and I hope things work out with your friend
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I went out with this boy for 4 months and we broke up. He has a new girlfriend now. I don't know her, but one day she messaged me out of the blue and started asking me if I still liked him and have feelings for him. So I told her that I don't because I kinda do, but only a teeny bit. Anyway, she won't leave it alone and everyday she asks me if I want him back and blehh. What do I say to her to make her stop, cause I'm really tired of telling her that I'm not trying to steal her boyfriend. (link)
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When she asks you be like I was already with him. If i really stil wanted to be with him then we wouldn't have broken up. Be like I don't want him you can have him he's your bf and I get that. I'm not intersted in him anymore and if you're that insecure about it then maybe you need to reevaluate your relationship. Just try to make it clear that you don't want him anymore and you know that he's her bf. If she still doesn't get it then she really has issues and I don't know what to tell you.
Good luck and I hope I helped
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Okay, me and my best friend have been friends for about 5 years. She has always helped me with my dating problems and I hvae always helped her with hers. But somethings scaring me. See, my boyfreind and my freind use to go to school together. They wern't good friends but they didnt hate each other. He was the kind of guy that EVERY girl wanted. But now I'm dating him. They have just recently became like really really really close. I don't mind them talking, but he talks to her more then he talks to me! And everytime I confront one of them about it, they just say their talking about me which I don't believe one bit. Sometimes when I get on AIM and my friend and my boyfriend are on and my boyfriends not talking to me, I'll IM my friend and ask if shes talking to him and she always says YES! And when I call either her or him, they sometimes tell me that they just got of the phone with eachother and they talked for hours! I don't know what to do anymore, and I want to know how to stop it without hurting one of them. I need your help! (link)
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Talk to your friend. Tell her that you starting to think that something is going on. Tell her that you don't think that she would do something with him but you are starting to wonder because it seems like he spends more time with her than with you. I'm sure if you calmly talk to her and tell her that is starting to bother you she will understand and try to stop it for you. Also try talking to your boyfriend. Try not to sound like your accusing him of anything. Just let him know how you feel. He should understand and just let him know that you're not accusing him of anything you just want to know what's going on because you've noticed that they are starting to get really really close.
Good luck and I hope I helped
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my friend is goin out with the guy i like and my other best friend likes him. how can i win him over the other 2?i rate high.
p.s. the other 2 girls are mad at me for certain reasons (link)
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You can't really win him over. I'm sorry to tell you if he likes more than them then he likes you more than them you really don't have any control over that. You really shouldn't be competing with your friends over a guy.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you
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I'm 16 and I have this friend I have known for like 5 years. She's like a sister to me and I love her to death. The bad thing is that I feel like I can't trust her. I went to my ring dance and I didn't want to go with my ex-b/f who still likes me and I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I didn't tell him. Well I told her and my other best friend not to tell him or mention anything about the ring dance to him. Well they didn't and everything was ok and all then he came up to me at karate class (we take karate together that's how we met.) and told me that my friend had told him I went to ring dance with someone else. I couldn't believe she told him then she was talking about me to this other guy that I didn't like but he liked me. I stopped talking to him cause he was bad news and all. I don't know what to do with her. Please help me.
~confused chica~ (link)
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Talk to her. Tell her that you don't appreciate her going behind your back and betraying your trust like that. Tell her how you feel. Let her know that you don't know if you can trust her anymore because she goes behind your back. If you talk to her and tell her how you feel then if she really cares about your friendship she will stop and realize what she did. If she doesn't then you just can't tell her secrets anymore. You can still be friends with her but just don't tell her things that you don't want other people to find out about.
Good luck and I hope I helped
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Ever since I was in first grade my mother made me take piano, which I hated so I dropped it in the 5th grade. Since the third grade, I have taken viola, and I am so-so about it, (I'm in seventh grade) because I have played it for so long I don't want to let it go. My mother wants me to quit strings and take chorus next year, because she thinks I have potential there, but I don't want to do that because I feel like I let too many things I could have been good at go. I recently gave my mother a deal- let me start guitar lessons, and then I will totally drop strings and take chorus next year. My mother refused, and I think she did that because she thinks I can't be committed to anything, even though I love guitar to death and I would truly love it instead of being so-so about it like strings. Guitar is just such a lovely instrument that I would be so extremely happy to learn to play it. I love chorus too, but I don't want to make my mother think I'm not committed by jumping out of strings. What can I do? How can I prove I'm worthy of guitar and that I'm actually committed to it? (link)
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Show her that you're commited to it. Start doing research on guitars. What I mean is try to start learning about it before you start taking lessons. If you have a guitar then work on playing it. Practice with it and look things up online and see if you acn do some of the basic things with it. Maybe if your mom sees that you are really willing to learn and that you really want to go through with learning on the guitar she will give you a chance. If your mom doesn't let you get guitar lessons then take chorus but continue to look things up on guitars to show that are truly dedicated to learning. This should show her that you are not going to give up on guitar and you be able to stay involved with music at the same time.
Good luck and I hope things work out for you
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This might be a little long since I'm giveing you background info.
Ok, This girl named Dee (fake name) needed a friend at the time. I decided to take that role in her life. Every day there would be something new, example: "I hate my life", "Nobody likes me", "My stepmom did ______________ and made me __________". And it never ends!
So one day I decide to break the fake friendship tie that I had set up. And I went through with it. The thing is that she keeps coming back. She tries to be nice to me, says a perky "Hi!" everyday. The reason she does that is because she thinks she can fix it, but its way to late for that.
My question is: What can I do so that I have no kind of contact with her? (link)
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Tell her again. Tell her that you don't want to be friends with her and you weren't even really friends with her in the first place you just felt bad for her. If she won't leave you alone then you have to be brutally honest. Tell her the truth and make sure that she gets it. If she doesn't get it the first time then tell her again. If you want her to leave you alone then you have to tell her straight out. Just say I don't like you I don't want to see or deal with you anymore leave me alone. She may be hurt but it will solve your problem. If you were nice about it before then you have to be mean now you tried to be nice about it she didn't get it so now you have to make her get it. Then just avoid her. If she walks up to you walk away. If she tries to talk to you ignore her. It sounds mean but if you really want her away from you then it has to be done.
Good luck and I hope I helped
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