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~A little Advice for the broken hearts~
You are afraid and hurt and you dont know what to do. You feel empty and alone, like the whole world has just ended. You have a hole in your heart one that feels like it can never be repaired, but just know that in time that hole will be gone. Getting your heart broken is like getting a deep cut. It hurts really bad, and no matter what you do you cant stop thinking about it because you know its there and its hurting, but with a few stitches and a little tlc (friends and family helping you through) and some antibiotic ointment (ice cream) soon that cut will only be a scar (a memory) it will always be there but it wont hurt anymore, you are strong and you can make it through this!!

advice

So my family - my mom, brother, and my friend all live in a one bedroom apartment. We've lived like this for 3 years this month. But my brother has recently told us that he wants to live by himself. Either he keeps the apartment and we move out or he will move out and we keep the apartment. So me and my friend were thinking about getting a place together. But my mom wants to move with us too. But I really dont want her to. I really dont want to live with my friend either, I just want my own space but someone to go half with on bills would be nice. But my mom would have nowhere else to go. She got fired from her a job a couple of months ago and she has bad knees and hips. She also has a drug habit. So shes trying to get disability. And my friend has a job but she also doesnt pay her bills on time. For the last 4 months she's given my brother like 200 total for rent. She makes enough to pay him. But she spends it on food (eating out) and buying she really doesn't need. They both dont like to clean. I also dont want extra baggage I just idk I feel like its mean but I also feel like I should give them a chance. I also dont want my mom to get comfortable because I dont want live her forever. Any suggestions???

I understand wanting to help out your mom but if she is using you may not want her to move with you. You should try to get her some help before her addiction gets worse. Just think of it like this.. What if someone turns her in for doing drugs and your house gets raided. Drugs on the property, they are not going to ask questions you will get in trouble. Or if her addiction gets worse she may strat stealing also not good. Now as for your friend just tell her you want your own place. Be honest with her. Its ok to want to be on your own. Its just a part of growing up and realizing its time to move to the next phase in your life. And if she is your true friend she will understand

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18/Female

I am from Puerto Rico. Currently in the process of getting an apartment and getting ready for college life. Except... I don't feel ready for it at all. I feel like I'm walking into a dark room with explosives planted all over and I'm bound to trip over one of them. Everyone I know seem so confident and are far much more ready than I am. This isn't my only problem. I'm scared. I'm scared of this new life that's coming ahead. I am going to an university that's about like two hours away from my home and that's without traffic. Sure, I'll be living with my best friend since seventh grade, but she has her whole future written out for her. She's already got an awesome summer job that is going to leave a lot of money for her and halfway through she's going to the US. She'll be much more busy and I feel that living together will somehow stretch us farther apart instead of closer because of how high up she is. She has had universities fight for her - I'm barely average intelligence.

I don't know if what I'm going for us what I truly want or if I'm cut out for it. I got in through Geology, meaning that I'm going for a Geology major but am planning to take a minor in Atmospheric Sciences so I can Master in this instead of Geology. However... my real passions lay within art. The last few months in high school left me yearning for things that aren't science. I was in charge of making scenography for a play to get funds for the graduation - it was a stress but I loved it! It felt so nice at the end... knowing that I had done that. I love theatre - singing, dancing, acting, especially dancing. I've always been camera shy so I never showed what I had, ever, and now I lament never doing so.

I don't know what to do. I feel lost here. Everybody is too busy to listen to me and what I'm feeling - my mom gets angry when I mutter so all she does is yell and that just makes me cry, which makes me feel worse. I see so many of my friends hanging out with boys and many of them in happy relationships while I'm just a loner who's too shy to approach guys and no guy has ever told me he likes me... I feel like I'm pretty much breaking. I've kept so many things inside that I don't think straight anymore, I lay around all day doing nothing while I know that I should get up and do stuff - anything! I just... I guess that basically what I'm saying is that I suffer from extreme low self esteem but always try to hide it, or at least most of it. I've already gotten advice but every advice I get seems so plain, empty and repetitive: "Everything will get better." "Smile." "Do what you want to do!" "Follow your heart." I'm not saying I don't appreciate it... but I want something else.

I just want somebody that will listen to me for real and understand me. Any advice to any of the stuff I just rambled?


It's perfectly normal to be afraid of life after High school. As a kid all you have to do is go to school, clean your room, and hang out with friends. Now its over and real life is about to begin far before you had ever expected. Ironic is'nt it, you wanted so badly to grow up and now the moment is here and all you want to do is cry for your mommy and after a cup of milk with cookies and a nap wake up and realize you are only 5 years old and all of this was just a dream and you can go back to the days where your biggest trouble was learning to color inside the lines. Trust me I get it. I had to grow up quick and before I was ready when I gave birth to my first child at only 17 years old. But the good thing is, this is just college, not a human being so you dont have to worry too much haha.
College can be scary I know when I first started I was terrified. Not because I was doing something I hated, in fact I loved it, I studied photography. The scary part was knowing that there was a possibility that I could fail and let my family down. But it all worked out well and I have yet to let anyone down. Or at least I dont think I did haha. Although there were a few times I came close to crying for my mommy, but I made it this far. But what kept me going was the fact that I knew I was doing something I loved. Other people tried to push me to become a nurse or something else because they said photography wouldnt make me much money. Which seems to be what you are going through. You shouldnt live your life trying to make other people happy and doing only things they want. You should live it for you. Otherwise you will never be happy with yourself. You will always be miserable and wonder "what if". And if the people around you truly love you they will come to love the choices you make. Only you know what is best for you and what will make you happy. Never give up on your dreams. You are terrified because you dont know what the future holds and you envy those who have it all together. But truth is, even your best friend doesnt have it all figured out, no one ever does. Life is full of surprises and if you are doing what you love then life will be full of happiness. I know that you are trying to do what everyone wants of you but I think you really need to think about it before you make any big choices like spending thousands of dollars on a carrer you dont even want. Try asking your mom or maybe another person you know and trust if you can stay with them a while longer before you start college so you can have a little bit to think about what you really want. Its ok to take a little time out before you go forward with big choices. If you ever need help or you want someone there to weigh the pros and cons with you let me know and I will be there to help. Life can be hard but definately easier if you have someone to walk through it with you. I hope that I can help you if I have not already. I am here to listen, no judgement, and answer the best I can. I hope all turns out great and I wish you the est of luck in your future :)

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I am 25 years old and I am a female and I had oral sex for thefirst time ever I have ner fone anything sexual before nowb in my life and I am a virgin . I knowbyou proble dodon't get a lot of women who are old as I am who are virgins asking about stds on this site but iam terrified that I might have aids when I didn't even have intercourse. We were both naked and he ate me out and I sucked his dick and he gingered me could I get aids from letting this guy that I have known since I was 16 do this to me . I know this may make .e sound like a whore but we was only dating a week before he wanted to have sex and I said didn't want to have sex so we decided on oral sex . I am so scared because the other day I was in the shower and I noticed 3 little bumps inside my vagiana and I also have a boil that's kind of grey looking sorry if this is to grafic but I wanted to give you complete detail of what's going on with me so you could answer my question properly. I talked to my cousin about my situation and she said that I needed to go see a gbyon and get tested for aids and other stds . I am so scared. Please help . I made an appointment gor the 10th of my next month and iam absolutely terrified because I don't know what to they are going to do. How do they check for aids is it s blood test or do they actually have to check down there ? Will they tell anyone if I have aids . Please help me. Thank you so much.

First let me reassure you that you are not a whore! It is perfectly normal to have sex or explore sexually. Most people have done these things well before your age. If anything, being you age and having not had sex yet, you would be the complete opposite. Now here is the thing, having oral sex can result in catching aids or other std's. But the person you have sexual contact with must have the disease in order for you to get it. Does this man have aids? if so chances are you may have it. But if he does not have any sexually transmitted diseases than congratulations neither do you. Now I will offer you a bt of advice (and dont feel bad or offended because I myself hadnt done this when I first started expiriment sexually, thankfully I was one of the few lucky ones and didnt get anything) If you are going to have sex, make sure you have the one you are having sex or oral sex with is clean. Make him get tested for stds. Now if you are caught up in a moment and the testing just isnt an option at this momnt make sure you always use a condom to prevent catching anything. Using condoms are said to be the only way to prevent STD'S but you have to use them correctly. To make sure you know how to properly use condoms I will post a link at the bottom for you to read.
Testing for aids is easy. Its just a smple blood test. This test checks for HIV antibodies in your blood. Beware these antibodies may take 3 to six months after contact to appear in your blood. So if you are tested and its negative but you are still afraid you may have it, be sure to make an appointment for six months after just for extra assurance.

Please check out the full website listed below to get all the information you will new on getting tested.
________________________________________________

copied and pasted from http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/aids-sida/info/4-eng.php
You should consider getting tested for HIV infection if you or your partner(s) have ever:
◾ had sex - especially anal or vaginal intercourse - without using a latex or polyurethane condom or other protective barrier
◾ had sex while under the influence of alcohol or drugs (you might not have used protection)
◾ tested positive for another sexually transmitted and blood-borne infection (e.g. syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, hepatitis B, hepatitis C, etc.)
◾ shared needles, syringes or other drug use equipment (e.g., water, cotton filters, cookers, pipes, straws) when using drugs, including steroids
◾ had tattooing, piercing or acupuncture with unsterilized equipment
◾ had a blood transfusion or received other blood products before November 1986

copied and pasted from http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/aids-sida/info/4-eng.php
_________________________________________

here are some other links you may find helpful in learning how to protect yourself against stds

http://www.itsyoursexlife.com/preventing-pregnancy/what-works-what-doesnt/

http://www.itsyoursexlife.com/gyt/condoms/

to answer your final question, No the doctors will not tell anyone anything about your visit weather you are positive or not. All visits to the doctor are confidential and they are not allowed to discuss your visits with anyone without your consent. So dont worry. And dont be embarrassed to talk to the doctor either. They have heard it all and chances are your questions are nothing near the worst they have heard. Make sure you tell the doctor about all of your symptoms as well because this will help the doctor properly diagnose and fix whatever it is you may have.

And lastly dont worry too much. Go to your appointment but until the day comes try to get your mind off of it because most times when you freak out over something it always ends up being nothing. And if it is something you will have doctors to take great care of you. Also if you find out you do in fact have some sort of std take care of it if its curable and if its more serious like aids you have to warn any and all sexual partners. For their safety.
I hope all of this helps and puts your mnd at ease. If you have any other questons just come back I will be happy to help. Good luck with your appointment.

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So, I am about to have a baby and someone mentioned that there are a bunch of places that will send you baby stuff in your mailbox if you just ask for it? How do you do this? Is there a list of companies that do this, or do you just have to write everyone and hope they send you something? LOL!

https://www.babiesonline.com/offers/
That website has a bunch of samples from different companies you just choose what you want all free and if you go to the similac strong moms website (link below) you can get $329 worth of formula and other products free don\'t forget to ask the nurse at the hospital for your dredge diaper bag.

Www.similac.com

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I know this may sound like a dumb question but I have dark reddish brown hair and really fair skin (like the skin of most redheads) it has pink undertones and it's freckled. Most brunettes I know even if lighter skinned aren't as light skinned as myself...?

I wasn't sure how to answer your question so I did a little research. I hope my findings gives you the answers you are looking for.

From www.eupedia.com

Skin and hair pigmentation is caused by two different kinds of melanin: eumelanin and pheomelanin. The most common is eumelanin, a brown-black polymer responsible for dark hair and skin, and the tanning of light skin. Pheomelanin has a pink to red hue and is present in lips, nipples, and genitals. The mutations in the MC1R gene imparts the hair and skin more pheomelanin than eumelanin, causing both red hair and freckles.

Redheads have very fair skin, almost always lighter than non-redheads. This is an advantage in northern latitudes and very rainy countries, where sunlight is sparse, as lighter skin improves the absorption of sunlight, which is vital for the production of vitamin D by the body. The drawback is that it confers redheads a higher risk for both sunburns and skin cancer.


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So my bf & I met when we were both 18 & got together a couple months later. I had cheated on my previous bf with him, but I felt so bad about that I told the very next day (we just kissed,& it turns out to be my current bf's first kiss), & when I told him he asked why. After my first boyfriend & I broke up after 3 months on & off. Less than a month after we'd been broken up, I started dating the guy I cheated with-who turns out to be my steady bf since late 2010. I took his virginity in January 2011, & all was well for a while. Then he started lying over stupid things (where he was, that he had to go home, who he was with-said he was with his friend Kyle, but he was with a girl he "used" to like,& talk shit on me)..or "forgetting" to tell me things, & making the same promises over and over. It doesn't help that he never seems sincere & using uses a sarcastic or mocking tone, & usually extremely critical of me. I do love him so much,& he's my first,& we have had a lot of good times, but I don't know what to do anymore. Help please??

You definitely need to talk to him. Let him know that his behavior is unacceptable. For a relationship to work you need to be able to trust each other and if he is lying and sneaking out with other girls how can you trust him? If he wants to be in a relationship with you he needs to be honest with you. Also if he is telling you he is hanging out with one of the guys and really he is with some other girl chances are he is doing something he shouldn't be doing. yes I mean most likely cheating. I mean why lie if you're innocent right? Another thing he is being critical of you and that makes you feel terrible. That is verbal abuse and you should NEVER stand for that.
Ask yourself these questions:

Am I truly happy?
Can I trust him?
Do I really want to spend my life with someone who makes me feel this way?
If your answers are no...maybe you should consider leaving.... You're young and there is no rush to settle down.find someone who will treat you like a princess and nothing less. You deserve to be happy and if happiness is something he is not providing then you are in fact wasting your time.

But if you are happy and you truly want to make it work he has to put effort in as well. It won't get better if just one person is trying. Sit down with him tell him exactly how you feel and let him know changes need to be made. And if he does happen to make changes and treat you better hopefully you will be able to trust him again. Good luck and I wish you all the best.v


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Hello there,

I have been on the pill for 8months. I remembered to take my pill around 9ish and then my boyfriend and I decided to go bare back. I have taken the pill in the morning or at the normal 7pm time or in this case when I remember to take it. Will there any chance I would become pregnant. I have a pregnancy test just in case I need to set my mind further at ease

With any kind of birth control there is a risk of becoming pregnant. an extremely small risk but still a risk nonetheless. if you have been taking your pill chances are you're not. but to be safe for the next couple weeks avoid things that could harm a baby should you be and then take the test if you miss your period. when I took the pill the doctor recommended condoms as well just for extra protection maybe that would work for you. good luck I wish you all the best. :)

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Could I use two different types of clean and clear at the same time?

I dont think there would be any problems with that but I would use one in the morning and one at night instead of using them all at once

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My ex and I were together and engaged for two years. It's been 8 months since he left for being unhappy, and almost 4 months since I've had any kind if contact with him, verbally & physicallly. I recently, maybe a month ago, blocked him from Facebook and anyone who contacts him because seeing his name is not helping me move on. I will admit, I am fine without him although I do wish we could be back together, but I've accepted reality and understand that will never happen.i think about him almost everyday but for some reason I keep having dreams about him. First it was him comin back saying he made a mistake. 4 times. Then it was us being back together and me crying because he was yelling at me. Then last night he told me he wanted back with his ex he was with before me (which they are in real life hanging out, idk if its friends or what) and I was crying and told him I hated him and he ruined my life and I wish I never got with him. Every dream I have of him I wake up in an icky mood or I'm crying. What can I do? I never wanna see him again, period.

You're still in love with him and its hard for you to move on. You two were serious. You were engaged. Thats got to be hard to move on from. Trust me I have had my share of heartbreak. My husband and I have recently separated and we were together since I was 15. Inside I'm falling apart. But I try to follow the advice I give to everyone that ask me how to get over a breakup and I know in time I will be ok. So here it is, the famous advice... Copied from my page...

~A little Advice for the broken hearts~
You are afraid and hurt and you dont know what to do. You feel empty and alone, like the whole world has just ended. You have a hole in your heart one that feels like it can never be repaired, but just know that in time that hole will be gone. Getting your heart broken is like getting a deep cut. It hurts really bad, and no matter what you do you cant stop thinking about it because you know its there and its hurting, but with a few stitches and a little tlc (friends and family helping you through) and some antibiotic ointment (ice cream) soon that cut will only be a scar (a memory) it will always be there but it wont hurt anymore, you are strong and you can make it through this!!
~Stephie~


I hope this helps you and I will be here for you if you need me.

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Hi,I am actually from Pakistan but now living in Australia just for 1 year with my husband and 3 years old child.My husband living Australia for 6 years and we got married 4 years ago.My age was 21 then and now I am 25 years old.I lived in Karachi with my in-laws before that.In Australia one afternoon I went to a park with my little son.But I lost my way in the park as it was really large and I was new there.Moreover there wasn't much people.I asked help to a young guy.He helped me even gave me a lift to my house.He was really helpful and friendly.I offered him coffe.I told my husband about him.Then after many days we went to market and met that guy.I introduced my hubby and the guy to each other.My husband than thanked the guy and invited him.He came with his girlfriend.From that day our relation was improving rapidly.He then often come to our house.In fact he became a good friend of mine and my husband.I started going out with him as already we built a strong friendship.He started to come even when my husband is not at home.I told everything to my husband.He takes it normally.Then gradually Del(our friend) tried to touch my hand while walking.At first I felt uneasy.But oneday he grabbed my hand and I didn't say anything.Gradually our realation is advanced that now Del hugs me and kisses me.And I really enjoy all that.I also kiss him very passionately.I don't have problem with kissing and hugging.But now Del is trying to sleep with me and have sexual intercourse with me.Oh! my husband doesn't know that we kiss and hug.However, now when Del meet me he try to convince me and touch my private parts.I somehow stop him.But it's true that I get excited when he kiss me.My sex life with my husband is good.We fuck almost everynight.Though I am a shy muslim girl but I love sex and my husband says I am very horny at the bed.I think it won't affect my relation with my husband if I do sex with my friend.I love my husband as husband and Del as my friend.Del tells me that he wants to see me naked in the bed.What should I do now?Should I get naked before my friend?

If you love your husband its best to stop this affair you are having with your friend. Your husband sounds like a great man and you could hurt him if you continue this behavior. Also i advise you to stop spending time alone with this friend . You should also tell your husband what has been going on. it is your job as a wife to love* respect , and stay faithful to your husband and same goes for your hubby to you. I'm sure you wouldn't like it if he had another woman. I'm not trying to lecture you at all I just don't want you to do the wrong thing and lose your husband. Good luck and best wishes .

STEPHIE

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Straight to the point: 4 weeks ago we found out we are having another baby (yay!), that will be child #6. We had been saving a little to go on a couple's vacation (possibly a cruise) besides doing our annual family vacation (usually 4-5 days to a nearby beach) A very interesting opportunity presented itself, to take the whole family to Bermuda for 2 weeks. My best friend lives there and she finally has a place big enough to accommodate all of us. The trip would cost a little more than we had allocated for both trips (which would just be food and airfare, the rest is covered and we are very low maintenance, as in, we don't need fancy dinners or stuff to keep ourselves entertained) , but I think it would also be the vacation of a lifetime!!! for both the kids and us, the parents. I am torn and can't decide, part of me thinks we should jump on the opportunity, because once the new baby comes, things are gonna get A LOT more complicated. On the other side, I feel we would be doing something irresponsible. We have a small savings account, and we are comfortable financially, after surviving the recession, we came back stronger, thriftier and our priorities are now where they are suppossed to be. We've grown up a lot and learned from past mistakes.
Any advice/opinions ??

Its a nice trip for you and your family... and youre right once that baby comes it will get a lot harder. This may be the last time you have an oppertunity in a while. Treat yourself and your kids to something new and exciting. You deserve it... It can be your little "congrats gift" to yourself for your amazing pregnancy. You sound like you already have you have the trip all put together... Get out there mommy!! Have a great time.. Good luck with the pregnancy and congratulations... also on a random side note... if you havent already, try out WWW.BABYCENTER.COM they also have a mobile app and its free... this site is awesome, it shows you pictures of what your baby looks like and how he or she is growing week to week there are wonderful videos on there as well... it also has things for children who are already born... its a fun site for parents especially the excited and anxious mommy :) good luck and best wishes

Stephie

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ive liked this guy for 5 years and my dad says hes going to merry someone else and god told me merry him no names i dont know who but im guessing its him please help

You may have liked this guy for a long time but if he is getting married that means that the two of you were not meant to be. Try finding someone else that interest you. God may have given you a message but that doesnt mean it was about this guy. God has a plan for everyone and in time everything will work out the way it was meant to work out for you. God loves you and would not send you a message of false hope. Maybe you just interpreted this message wrong. Give it some time and I am sure you will find someone else.. The person you are meant to be with is out there somewhere, you just have to give it time, and remember to keep your eyes open. The one you are meant to be with could have been right in front of you the whole time. Stay positive! This guy may not have been the one for you but you will find that person someday. good luck and best wishes

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my boyfriend and I broke up about two weeks ago. The first week, I was in devastation. Being only 14, it was difficult for me to handle all of it, as I loved him alot. But then one day, I overheard his conversation with one of my friends ( she allowed me to be on confrence while I heard him talk about some other girl and totally random stuff.) When asked about me, he would answer with impatience in his voice. From that day on, till today I haven't picked up the phone to call him once. He told my bestfriend that "I couldn't sleep for a week, whatever anyone says I will always have a soft corner for you and that I am not myself." What is wrong with this guy? Why does each and every move of his hurt me so much? I am angry at him, really angry. I don't think he ever did love me for the four months that we dated, and usually I spend my time being happy. But there are still moments where I miss him. Why do I miss him if he doesn't miss me? What are his reasons for behaving like this? I know I haven't moved on but how long will it take for me to look at his face and not feel anything?

Ending a relationship can be hard. I know, I've had many break-ups in my life. It will take time to get over it but you definately will move on. Let me paste a little advice that I have posted on my page.. its advice I give everyone who is expiriencing heartache...


~A little Advice for the broken hearts~
You are afraid and hurt and you dont know what to do. You feel empty and alone, like the whole world has just ended. You have a hole in your heart one that feels like it can never be repaired, but just know that in time that hole will be gone. Getting your heart broken is like getting a deep cut. It hurts really bad, and no matter what you do you cant stop thinking about it because you know its there and its hurting, but with a few stitches and a little tlc (friends and family helping you through) and some antibiotic ointment (ice cream) soon that cut will only be a scar (a memory) it will always be there but it wont hurt anymore, you are strong and you can make it through this!!


You see it hurts now and you are angry but thats ok, its all normal, this is your way of coping with your loss of something you once cared for a great deal, and it is also your way of moving on. It may not seem like it now but you are already in the process of moving on... just give it a little while longer and soon it will be nothing but a memory and you will find someone new who makes you feel happy again. Good luck with everything! Best wishes.

Stephie

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Ways not to get preganet

The only for sure 100% way to not get pregnant is abstinence (not having sex at all) There are other ways to try to prevent pregnancy if you can not resist the urge to have sex. Please visit WWW.ITSYOURSEXLIFE.ORG and check out the preventing pregnancy section for more information. Hope this helps. Best wishes.

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My bestest girl friend is switching schools so we will not have the same snow days, breaks, half days, and days off and the worst part i love her i don't know what i'm going to do if i don't see her on a daily basis and neither of us dont want this to happen and the school shes going to is horrible its small and ugly and shell have to wear a uniform thanks p.s were both 13 im a male and shes a female

I know its hard but sometimes things like this happen. People move and thats just a part of life. I can understand the pain... I moved a lot during my childhood. I left a lot of friends behind. But just have faith, if your friendship is strong enough you will make it through this hard time. Try becoming penpals via email, text, facebook messaging, or even snail mail. I am sure everything will be just fine... best wishes
Stephie

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what will happen if i eat my own poop cuz i really want to

Oh huni dont do that... Not only is it just disgusting it is also very bad for you. If you are having strange thoughts like this maybe you should see a doctor.

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i want to really die please help me sir give your number i will come my house please

Please do not do anything to hurt yourself. If you need someone to talk to you are more than welcome to message me. I will try my hardest to help you. Always remember Suicide is a permanent solution to a temperary problem. Anything can be fixed... except death. If you are having a hard time try counseling or go to your local emergency room and have yourself admitted the people there are nice and they can help you. Dont do anything you will regret. Remember although life can get hard sometimes there are so many people in your life that love you and care for you and losing you would devastate them. Good luck and feel better.

Stephie

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hey, have you found out anything about how to pretend that you are a virgin? im in the same sutation i know lying is not a good start but i have no choice. i need help!!

There is no way except to just lie and say that you are but either way Zane is right there is no point in lying. If the person can not accept that you are not a virgin then that person obviously does not respect you enout and as Zane said that person must not be mature enough to have a relationship. Be yourself dont try to change for other people.

:) Stephie

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I moved to a new town when my hubby deployed, and I couldn't sleep without him. I dreamed of being held and snuggled, and I told him I wished I had a gf (I wouldn't risk another man). I'd had girl-girl make outs in college, but I love men, my husband above all.

He began scouring dating sites to find a woman for me to have sex with, talking to them online daily posed as me. The attentions he gave these women made me jealous, and he wouldn't talk about anything else... until he suggested a second man for double penetration, which sounds like something I'd wish on my worst enemy. I figured it was the desert talking, that when he actually got back and got laid again he'd settle down-and he has, mostly.

He just went to a bachelor party with strippers the first night and prostitutes the next, he walked out on the 2nd (he's faithful, these extra people in his fantaies are for touching me only, he says). I complained abt the party, so he hoped to make it up to me by hiring a prostitute to pleasure me (ethical and hygienic no-go, IMO, plus huge waste of $). He started getting pushy about it and saying I should do it for him, since I came up with the idea, and now he can't help thinking about it nonstop, that I'm denying myself some superior 3-way pleasure ~ backward responses to rectifying the things I didn't like about that party: sex workers, disrespect of monogamy, etc. He steers every conversation to it, or another man, giving me the silent treatment when I say I'm not interested. He usually talks things out like a champ. My fear was that being around guys/behavior like that party made him lose respect for me, that it's ok to do whatever he wants and my feelings don't matter. I hope it's the fact that he is just extremely stressed at work that's driving this again.

Please tell me how to get him to stop pressuring me to give in to these scary fantasies and to start respecting my boundaries and desires. I want him to keep telling me his mind, and I don't mind him having the fantasies (though I wish they were a little variable and not just all of the same the filthiest porns), but I don't want any real life person encroaching on us. I don't want to be intimate at all with anyone but my husband.

Dear Monogamous Wife,
I think you should sit down and have a talk with your husband. Explain to him how you feel about the situation. Tell him that what you said was just a fantasy created from sexual depravation and that you really would never do that. Let him know that it is ok to talk about and fantasize about but never to become a reality. Also explain the way you feel about his loss of respect for you. Let him know that he is the only one that you want and that monogamy is the only way for you. If he truly loves you he will understand and accept this. Maybe to ease the tensions between the two of you try replacing this fantasy of his with something new. Maybe try agreeing to try something new that he wants to try as long as it only involves you and him and of course only if you are comfortable with it. As you should never be made to feel uncomfortable. As for the party I think its best to forgive and forget. You have to trust that he did nothing with anyone. And him walking out on the second party proves that he loves you and he wouldnt do anything to hurt you. Try talking to him and if you need any more help let me know and I'll try to give you the best advice that I can give.

I hope I helped you with your situation, best wishes...
Stephie

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So the guy I like isn't over his ex, but he claims he is. Well she text me talking mad shit & what not.. & I guess he told her pretty much EVERYTHING we talk about together. I really do like him & she claims she will always have him, I don't wanna give up on us because then she will get what she wants but i then again I also can't trust him anymore after telling our business. I don't know what to do... Should I just cut it off with him or forget about it & put it behind us.

If you are having doubts and you cant trust him then maybe its time for you to move on. If he is not being honest with you and he is still talking to this girl it sounds to me he is not ready for a new relationship. You deserve better than that. He should not be telling others what you two talk about in private. You are an amazing person and should be treated as such. My advice drop him and go find someone who treats you like the amazing girl you are. You may not find that person right away but its definately not worth sticking around with someone who doesnt even care about how you feel. Good luck and I hope I helped

Stephie

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