Gender: Male
Member Since: November 18, 2007
Answers: 170
Last Update: February 13, 2014
Visitors: 12345
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ugh whats wrong with me:[[ im getting so jealous. he hasnt talked to me since tuesday and like i didnt care before because i know he does this a lot so im used to it..but..i looked at his facebook:[ and he commented on this girls picture from his school, nice pic. thats what he said about mine when he told me i looked really hott in it and i think he likes that girl now and oh my god what if they go out oh my god he isnt gonna talk to me anymore! oh my god i JUST realized that ! ahhhh :'[
ah im freaking out ah im about to cry ohmygod ohmygod :''[ this is hurting so bad so so bad ahh im crying ahhh. fuck this. i dont want to care anymore but at the same time whenver i start to stop caring, part of me is saying, no keep on caring because once youve stopped caring theres definitly no hope for him caring since you care about him more than he cares about you. oh my fucking god he probobly likes that girl. oh he totally does. oh shit. he doesnt want me anymore. i bet he doesnt. thats why hes been online for two hours the past two days and HASNT talked to me. oh my god :[. i cant stop crying. ahhh ahh ahh:[[[[
im so sad. this is gonna sound weird but i feel like he was like a drug to me because i liked it when he talked to me like that it would make me forget about my life and the problems i have to deal with right now and when we talked it made me forget about it all. and i liked it. and ughhh im SO sad right now. and i cant even tell my friends anymore, they all get annoyed listening to it now. ugh. he better still talk to me..he better. if he doesnt. fuck him. ugh hes such a douchebag i HATE him. i seriously HATE him. and what he was gonna do/ doing to me. why is he playing with me like this why is he doing this to me why. (link)
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you sound very confused. sometimes you seem you hate him and sometimes like u really like him
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not yet he didnt talk to me today, next time i have a question ill let you know:] (link)
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okay good. i didnt know if maybe you were waiting on me or something.
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i dont know what to do!!!! im engaged to my boyfriend of 3 years and about to be an army wife. i love him and wanna have a family and a future with him but theres one problem. about a year and a half ago we went on a bad break and i ended up have sex with this guy i go to career school with. hes really sexy and really funny. it was just a one time thing, friend helping a friend out. ever since then(a year and a half ago) i cant quit thinking about him. i know me and him wouldnt ever have a future, trust me im not his type. although i kinda wish i was. i think that its really starting to interfere with my relationship now. my fiance knows what happens and hates the kid. i dont talk to him anymore but i cant get him off my mind. i dont know what to do, i feel sooooo bad to thinking about him. i feel like im mentally cheating or something.
P.S. do you think it has anything to do with the fact that im 18 and part of me still wants to be a kid and not in a serious relationship but the other part of me wants to grow up and get married and live my life? (link)
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i understand you love your fiance and are probably in love with him. part of love though is timing. sadly, you met and fell for your fiance at a young age. you just as likely to be mature at your age. the thing is, at 18 there is much you still have yet to experience and have much you'd want to experience. When people get married, they intend on being with the person forever. If you were with him for the rest of your life, that's about 60 years. that's 3 times longer than you've lived. take everything you know and multipy it by 3. I think these thoughts you are having are just your mind telling you that you are not ready for such a long term commitment just yet. Some people can make it work at such a young age. One of my best friend's parents got married at 18 and have an amazing marriage. You have to ask yourself why you said "yes". Did you feel obligated? Were you scared to say "no"? Younger guys tend to want to propose to sort of "lock up" a relationship. Realize that if your fiance goes overseas, you wil both be alone with these thoughts but also be tied to him. Could you do that for a year or two? Honestly, you probably need to get some things out of your system. If you don't then you are likely to always wonder. If you know that your guy is the one and you want to have a life with hi, things will need to change a bit and you will have to step up. I do think that you are missing something so you think of this other guy. Ask yourself what you like about him or the idea of him. Can you find these things in the fiance? There is going to be a point where you have to decide if your fiance is going to be with you or without you forever. There probably isn't an in between here. He thinks he is marrying you. I wish you well and hope I was of some help.
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Hey, My name's Nikki and I just got out of an on again off again relationship that's lasted for the past year and a half. During the "breaks" me and my ex would have, we would both date other people. Well, the first time we broke up, I started dating this guy (lets call him:) Alex. Me and Alex got along great, we had a lot of fun together, and I thought he was AMAZING. My ex called me one day on the phone and we started talking a bit, and he started to tell me how much he missed me and how he made a mistake and just stuff like that. Well I still liked him, so I decided to give him another chance. I explained this to Alex and to my surprise, he was really nice about it, and just said that if I ever needed him again, he'd be there. So I got back with my ex and it lasted for a few months, but then I made a mistake and flirted with this guy in my chemistry class. Word got around and my ex ended it once more. I was really sorry and upset, and since me and Alex still kept in touch, I told him about it. We ended up dating once more, and a few weeks later, my ex came back saying he overreacted and that we should have worked it out. I told Alex and this time he was kind of annoyed with it, because my ex had been spreading rumors about him. He was really upset, but he said it was my life and I should do what I want. You can guess what happened next. me and my ex got back together, then broke up again, this time because he wanted to and "didn't feel the same". Shortly after, I lost my virginity to this guy that I've been friends with for a while, but little did I know that he was close to Alex, too. The subject just never came up. I told Alex about the breakup, and his only response was "I'm not going to date you again. I'm tired of being someone you use as a replacement until you and your boyfriend fix things. The last straw was when you screwed my friend. You're just wasting your time with me. goodbye." He hasn't talked to me since. Now, understand that I've really fallen for this guy. REALLY HARD. and I know I've made misakes, and I've admitted I was wrong. One of my close friends tells me to just be patient, but I'm not sure how long I can wait. I've been single for about 2 weeks, and I just have a problem not being able to have someone there beside me, you know? But I just want to know, is he right? Is what I did really that unfixable? (link)
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he's definitely right. he's never going to look at you the same. he was a nice guy and you didn't want that. more than likely if he wanted you around from here out it would be to use you. he put in time with you and even cut you slack. when you left your bf you should have been going to him. he didn't own you but he thinks he deserved to be first on your list. then you went and slept with a third person. what was there is destroyed. you have to move on. he'll never respect you again. plus, lets say he did give you another chance. do you think he wants to take his girlfriend out and have the 3rd guy there? no guy wants that. you didn't do anything evil or really that wrong. it's just that a guy can only wait on the back burner for so long. we do get tired of being played after all.
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I need to get my toetouch higher, but idk how. Most people just tell me to stretch. But, i have my left and right splits and I stretch everyday. My toe touch is about 5 inches from my arms went i hit my T. Do you know any exercises I could do or have any tips on how to get my toe touch higher (btw- my form is really good though I don't need help with that)? (link)
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i played football and we did alot of stretching and related training. i was one of the more flexible guys so i may have a couple useful suggestions to at least stretch further and be more flexible. having a a partner when you stretch is very beneficial. but lets sa you are sitting and have your legs together and stretching toward to touch your toe. if you have your partner pushing on your back it does wonders in helping your body go further. go slow at first. but their weight and pressure will help your gains increase much more than if you did this alone. we would do some similar stretches where we would hold a medicine ball. but the weight of the medicine ball would also help the body stretch out more. so ifu were sitting and doing the same as i told you before, if u hold the medicine ball out in front of u as you reach. just like you want the ball to go beyond your toes. it will do a lot of good too.
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people say that you can't really be in love until you've tested each other, till you've hit your lowest points, till you've been there with each other throw everything, till you've really wanted to just leave, but would do anything to not let that person go, and still survived. but other people say that you shouldn't have to fight for your relationship, you should want that person and be happy together. but how do you know when to draw the line? when you're really not meant to be together? when you should just let go? or when you should keep holding on?
we are in love, and we hardly ever fight, but over the weekend, we hit a pretty rough patch, and now we dont know what to do. we thought about a break, but we're scared to lose each other forever. we want to be together, and he said he'd rather force this to work than to lose me. i dont wanna force this though, that'll only lead to a worse, future break up. i think we should be together because we wanna be, and we do wanna be. but... i just dont know what to do. we've lost each other once and we dont want that again. but we have things to work out if we stay together. we've talked about getting married, living together, everything. how do we if it really is our time to throw in the towel, or if we should give our all to this relationship? (link)
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i dont know if you two are right or wrong for one another. i won't even guess. but the best test o how good a relationship is and how strong it is, isn't how well you get along with each other. it's how well you can argue. if two people can have differences and can discuss them, not use that moment to say hurtful things, and work to resolve stuff they have a chance. it sounds like you two just had a fight and aren't any closer to finding an answer. sometimes 2 people just won't ever agree!!! that doesn't mean you have to hate one another though. if you like chocolate ice cream and i like vanilla, well we aren't going to agree. but mabe a compromise can be worked out. maybe both people will have to let the other have their way or just put the argument away until you are both cooler. your guy likes you and wans this to work. if you feel the same then you should try. you talk having to fight to make a relationship stick. i have to disagree a bit. i think it's not so much needing to fight, it's needing to restrain. it's needing to maybe take a moment to find the right words as opposed to the words you really want to say. a good relationship is usually effortless. the people are in sync most of the time. of those couples the ones that can disagree without hurting one another have the best chance. as far as when to throw in the towel it depends. i mean , are you happy? are you usually stressed out when together. do you have enough time together? do you spend too much time together? do you have your own life and get to do things of your own? do you eel yourself obligated to him? are there still sparks? there is just a lot to think of. it comes down to how happy you are and the frequency of being sad with him. if you find yourself unhappy more and more then maybe things are coming to a close.
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uh i was gonna put this in feedback but i realized it wasnt really feedback it turned into my thoughts again haha so i feel like itd be too long for feedback. seriously though if this is bugging you let me know.
well its not that im ugly or anything, i do think im kind of pretty and i do talk to guys at my school but just as friends. i mean i dont know sometimes im not sure if im pretty some of my friends say that im gorgeous but i usually only get compliments from adults..i think that some of my friends are jealous but im not sure i dont really know if im pretty or not. its hard to figure out. but then sometimes i feel like..im too good for him, not in looks but i feel like he doesnt deserve me. he doesnt really deserve any of the stuff he thinks he is getting from me. sometimes i feel like this is a mistake and i shouldnt go through with it but then part of me still wants to just to have an expirience. but the bad thing is i know that he wont talk to me anymore after and it just hurts that it isnt gonna last. i wish he liked me like he used to. he used to really like me, the first time i met him, he told my friend that he liked other girls from his school but he was like screw them, shes better. i was like aww(: but then a day later he was like so you like me? [first of all what the f. your supposed to say I LIKE YOU] and im like yeahh i know you like me too. and hes like yeah its cool i dont know ill have to think about it.
like wtf douche. who do you think you are making me think you like me and then just pulling this shit on me. thats not okay. then he was telling me how he doesnt have enough time for me cause of basketball which is complete bullshit but okay. but he was like ugh i wanna have good times with you though i want you and your body. like ugh and so basically he realized he didnt like me he just wanted to fuck me. it just hurts like what, is my personality not good enough for you? he doesnt really want to get to know me though. one time i was like you know, you kind of have to earn this you cant just get it. i wanna have normal conversations too..and he was like ok ill do whatever it takes to get in you that night. so whats your favorite color?
...dude. youve got to be kidding me. like is that a joke. and its not that hes a weird guy like hes actually really cool..and kind of a douche bag haha but i just feel like he isnt the best at talking to girls. but its funny cause he thinks he is. ha. what a joke. he was so gross last night here ill show you what he said its still on my facebook he was like,
John:
yeah how ur gonna be ridin my dick moanin playin with your self wit your tits bouncing
ugh are you getting wet>
*?
...like..uhm..pretty sure that isnt gonna make me wet. hes so immature. and he thinks hes so cool though. riightt.
ANYWAYS haha uh i just rambled for like ever. sorry about that i do that a lot. i dont know but also yeah no other guys talk to me like that. probobly cause other guys are more mature. but i dont know, i sort of wish more guys liked me. i mean i know that some think im pretty just because of the way they look at me but its like i dont know. its just annoying. i used to be fine without having this kind of thing but now i dont want it to go away but it kind of will soon. just sucks. i dont know.
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it's hard to know if people find you attractive and how attractive they think you are. people will lie sometimes becasue they don't want to hurt a friend. if you wanted a clue, try a site like hotornot. put a couple normal pics on there and let the people rate you. that way you can just see for yourself. i can understnad just wnating to do soemthing. i wouldn't even say it's a bad idea exactly. in ways it is good to just get stuff over with. but i think that works better for guys. a shy and unsure guy is not wanted the same as a shy and unsure girl. girls can get away with it much better. before you do anything, think of this please. at some point in your life you are going to find someone and you will decide to go to bed with them. what if that guy was your second guy? wouldn't you feel bad you wasted your virginity on the guy before? now, this "guy of your dreams" may be the third or fourth guy or whatever. but after you lose your virginity you may just hook up randomly because you arent saving things anymore. i'm not saying you should save it. but know that you may regret giving to this guy. i don't know if you are a romantic or not. but the first time should be with at least a friend or someone that you can look back fondly at. there is only one first time. i hope i don't sound like i'm lecturing you.
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remember that really long question i sent you about this kid who pretty much only talks to me because hes really horny all the time. and if that isnt enough to make you remember, he pressures me a lot into asking for things. yeah i have another weird dilema im sorry:/
ugh i have another problem. im really sorry that i keep on bothering you with this, if it annoys you, you could totally just tell me to stop i wouldnt care
alright so pretty much you were completely right about the whole blowup doll thing, he does treat me like thatt i didnt realize it that much until you told me. so basically he IMed me before and was like did i ever tell you that i want to do it wit you and i was just like yeahh a few times. and uh i think he thinks we actually are gonna. cause then he was like im gonna shove it in you until you start to moan and then he kept describing it but i just said like yeahh haha but uh honestly im not doing that. and i know its dumb of me to not say anything but i hope he doesnt think i want to. ive told him in the past i dont want to, he knows. ugh i just want him to stop asking but i want him to still talk to me just not like that. i dont want him to shove it in me. that sounds like rape. now im scared to say no to the things he wants because he'll get mad and stop talking to me. i kind of like it when he talks to me ive gotten used to the attention and i dont want it to be gone. i dont get that kind of attention a lot..so i dont know i kind of like it. and im not even sure if im ever gonna see him. he keeps saying "yeah and then ill do this and youll do that" making it sound im gonna see him..but hes always busy. obviously he doesnt wanna see me THAT badly if he can never make time for seeing me at our friends house. sometimes i cant figure out if he just SAYS were gonna do stuff but doesnt actually mean it. i feel like he just says that cause he knows i wanna see him but he just wants someone to have like text sex with all the time. i just sometimes think he doesnt actually wanna see me. and i dont know why. im really sorry if this annoys you i just want a guys perspective on the stuff he says and does and why he does it. and if he actually wants to see me or if he just wants to have a good time talking about it. (link)
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well from now on, title you messages to me with "NOT A BLOWUP DOLL". that way i know it's you. i did answer this but this stupid site is making me say it all over again. why do you want to see this guy so much? i understand you like attention. i'm guessing that you are of averageish looks so you don't get tons of attention. bad attention is better than none at all. i don't know if it's possible to get him to change how he is with you. you just want to be talked to and not talked at. normally i'd say to not put up with his crap. but i'm guessing it's nice for you to have some guy looking to talk to you. i think he only wants you around to help him get off and then he wants nothing to do with you. i do feel for you. it sucks feeling unwanted. it isn't much better to be only good enough to be used. the thing is, if a guy things you are good enough to have sex with and leave, then someone would want to have sex with you and stay. don't forget that. i can tell you are younger. there is nothing wrong with younger. so don't think i meant there was. at some point you will have meaningless sex with guys you won't talk to again. do you want that time to be now? it's not a bad thing. but it will leave a person feeling hollow. your guy friend doesn't understand what turns a girl on. he talks to you as if he thinks you get turned on by the same stuff he gets turned on by. i dont know what kind of town or school is like. but there would have to be a number of guys that would give you attention. if you can get this guy's attenion then you could probably get someone else's. but i can understand you wanting a bit of attention even if it's bad. it's nice to feel wanted. when we don't have that many offers we become less picky about the attention we get. i hope i'm some help.
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hi there.
i am a male 20 and i do a fair bit of exercise daily to reduce my weight. i dont eat non veg stuff at all except eggs. what i want to ask is that everyday after exercising i have 5 or 6 boiled eggs as a source of protein but people at my gym advised me to throw away the yolk of the boiled egg and eat onlt the white part as according to them yolk has lots fo colestrol and fats and i should avoid it to help reduce my weight. can anybody please tell me if its true becouse i am seriously under the plan to reduce 10 kgs of weight and any help would be welcomed. thanks (link)
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They were correct that there there is more cholesterol in the egg yolks and yes more fat. But the yolks also contain more calcium,iron,phosphorus,zinc,cooper,manganese,selenium, thiamin,b6,folate ,b12 ,vitamin A, E, D, and K. You're 20. Cholesterol is something you do want to monitor yes. But the bad cholesterol is proven to serve the role of reducing stress. People always find something new to panic about. Currently, it is cholesterol. About 20 years ago, coming up with fat free foods were the craze. People ate no fats but they didn't get thin. You're pretty much a vegetarian. There just things not found in vegetables that will be found in eggs. You probably should consider that. Weight loss is frustrating. The more protein you have, the more weight you will lose simply because it's 3 times harder to digest than carbs. You are wanting to lose 10kg/22 pounds. That's not that much weight. Losing 10 pounds/5 kg a month isn't too much of a reach. I've found the easiest way to eat right is to plan meals in advance. I essentially gather the items unitl i have my calorie allowance and go "there is monday". Then i do the same for the rest of the week. It is much simpler. It takes about 15 to 20 minutes a week. Then lets say on thursday I don't like what i have there, i simply swap it with an item from friday's menu of similar calorie content. But back to the eggs and foods. Mother's tell their kids "have a little of everything and you will be just fine." That may be the best dietary advice of all. That way you get some of everything. You don't feel as if you miss out and you don't over do any one food and do yourself harm.
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So i have a thyroid problem, so I can't really be too active , cuz i guess i could have a heartattack. But i have gained so much weight, and some people say it could be because of my thyroid, but i eat alot.. and now i can't loose weight. I weighed 115 in september and now im 145!! I am going crazy, i can barely fit into anything, i went up from a size 2-5 pants to a 9! Its just making me sad! I don't know what to do
What are some good things to keep me entertained and not eating , but not to active
Thanks (link)
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i'm not a doctor but i'm guessing you have an underactive thyroid. i'm assuming you are on medication for this. my dad has the same thing. you can still exercise. since you said about heart attacks, it probably is a good idea to have a check up done at a doctor's before you start any exercise program. you are definitley going to have to start to count calories. i know it is boring. but you are going to have to. keep a food diary or plan al of your meals in advance so you won't be gaining weight. if you want to lose weight, you will definitley have to exercise more frequently as well. it is more difficult to lose weight when having a thryroid condition, but it isn't impossible. it's tricky to do much at the moment because the weather may interfer but spend more time outsdie. you are just simply going to eat less if you are not in the house. you won't have the temptations. you won't eat becasue you are bored. if you have a dog, take it for a walk or go on one yoruself. maybe go shoot hoops or do yardwork or something. i dont' know your interests. but weight is such tricky stuff. a person could put a pound of weight on in a day but it may take anywhere from 2 to 11 days to get it off. the goal is to never have days where you will gain. if you do that, it will simply work out.
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okayy im SO sorry for the length of this. :[ like i really didnt think it would come out to be THIS long haha. so basically, your a guy and i just wanna see your perspective on this guy and why you think he is doing this to me.
About december 6, i met this guy who is a freshman, at my best friend's house. i am a sophomore. he slept over because he is friends with my best friend's brother. we really hit it off and had a lot of fun all 5 of us. a week later he messaged me and asked for my number [he liked me] then a day later he told me he didnt want a girlfriend but wanted my body and to have good times with me..whatever. we didnt talk for two weeks. he said he liked someone else. [girl who lives an hour away] and i guess i didnt care too much. then he randomly started talking to me again, it was weird. we decided to go to our friends' house january 3 and sleepover. the night before, he was IMing me but saying it was his friend talking. then his "friend" [it was him but he didnt want me to know] was asking if i would do stuff with him. and if he could make a move. and i said yeah sure. so i show up at their house, he barely talks to me. we flirted a little but i could tell he didnt really wanna talk to me. i went home the next day crying. he IMs me again three days later. and asks if next time i would give him a handjob. as an expiriment i said yeah probobly. idontknowhwy i did that. but ever since then hes been gradually getting worse. and worse. he has gotten completely perverted and disgusting with me. he treats me like a hooker. he once asked if he gave me $20 if i would give him a blowjob.[no! ] thats pathetic. oh and on my birthday which was january 30 [he knew it was my bday..] he texted me and didnt even say happy bday, but instead said, so are we still doin those things? and i just said, yeah why do you ask haha and he goes, ok good so send me a picture of you in your panties . i said my friends were over and he said he was hanging out with some people. he obviously wanted to show it off to his friends. i got annoyed and of course didnt send it. then the next night, he IMs me and says "so how come you never sent it" and i told him it would be a bad idea and he goes, um no it is a good idea so send it. i was feeling under so much pressure and i was like would you be mad if i didnt send it..and he said, um yeah kinda. so of course i didnt want him to stop talking to me and i asked what would be acceptable for him. [i was so pissed] and he said really tight pants and cleavage so i just took a picture of my butt in jeans and then one of my chest in a tank top. he asked every minute, yeah so did you send it yet? did you send it? send it baby i want you on me now send it! and as if i didnt feel uncomfortable already. so i did send them and then i just felt gross after what he said. he was like yes so nice baby i love you haha you have such nice tits can i just never stop playing with them? ugh i felt so gross. i seriously felt like a hoe. anyways, a few days later i IMed him and the first thing he says to me is hey i your rack and i just said haha thanks. and he was like, no your supposed to say i want your dick in my mouth.
can u believe that?! WE ARE NOT EVEN DATING. I HAVE NOT SEEN HIM IN OVER A MONTH.
and then our whole conversation was him begging for a bj and i kept saying sorry no i dont think so and then he just told me he wanted a deepthroat. and i kept saying that would make no sense since we arent even dating. and then he made me feel all bad and said oh yeah your a good girl who only gives handjobs and no bjs i forgot. ..you do not say that to a girl. you just dont. ugh he is such a tool.
anyways. after that day we didnt talk for about two weeks..he just never contacted me again. so last sunday i decided to IM him. i was SO confused. so i say, hey and all i get from him is a hi. then i ask, whatsup and he never answered. clearly, he did not want to talk to me. i felt stupid and just signed off of facebook. then just now when im finally started to get over him, he IMs me and asks about my status which was, happyy. he asks, why are you happy? and i said, cause today was a good day haha
then he says, and your thinkin bout me and your vag were doin it sooon
and then i said haha yeahh im just wondering how come we havent talked in like two weeks? and he just says, i dont know
..so then i say and when are we doing this cause we always talk about it but it hasnt happened. then he never answered. ten minutes later i asked, did you like not get that ? and he still just ignored it. and i KNOW he saw it cause he changed his facebook status during the time he didnt answer. this is so sketchy of him. why do you think he would IM me and ask why im happy.. and then just think its okay for him to not answer when i ask about something that he clearly still wants to do?! i dont get it! does he still want me?
okay and also im kind of afraid that hes gonna try and butt rape me. no joke. so he IMed me thursday night and we were talking but pretty much only about sex cause uh thats all he EVER talks to me about now [he didnt used to do that.] and so he was like i bet ur gonna want it in you one time real quick not in your vag though and i was just like, well i dont know about that..and then he was like, yeah baby one time in your not gonna want it out
and hes said things like that before he begged me once. and hes also begged me for a bj so many times after i keep saying sorry but that would make me a slut since we arent even dating and then he just would go on and on and say no it wouldnt come on baby itd be so hot and good come on
and then he gets kind of mad when i say no..i feel like hes gonna try and force it in my mouth. i know thats awkward to say but last time we talked he told me to moan and then i said yeahh and then he was like ill put somethin in your mouth to stop it
like ugh. i dont know. i hope he doesnt try and force things on me..
sorry that was so obnoctiously long. haha (link)
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Yes, that was long!! lol You ramble a bit too. It's okay thought. It's actually cute because it's like you are actually talking. Okay, I'll try to give you my perspective on alot of this. Younger guys are pretty clueless. The ones that do talk of sex and aren't embarassed are usually just stupid about it. I don't know hwat you want with relationships or guys or whatever. That is for you to decide. I will say this. This guy doesn't think very highly of you. Yes guys can get preoccupied with sex but it seems that he only wants you around to get him turned on. I don't know if he is a rapist or anything. But if he currently isn't even treating you like a person. So it wouldn't be all that suprising if he thought nothing of raping someone. It's hard to find guys and especially younger guys with class when it comes to sexual stuff. But he doesn't treat you well and I can't believe that the stuff he says makes you feel sexy. I what he does as either just pushing things to see what all you will agree to, stuff to make himself hard, or stuff to joke about with his friends. I don't know you but you are definitely too good to be a joke amongst that group. Basically, this guy is a douchebag. It doesn't seem he has any good qualities either. But as far as pics and the stuff he says, it works like this. he may start saying he wants a kiss, then he wants to feel you up, then he wants up your skirt or whatever. Basically, no matter what you'd give, he'd want more right after. Same with the pics. If you show cleavage afterwards he will want you topless. Then he will wanna see you naked. Then doing stuff. Basically there wouldn't be an end to that until you are having sex with someone and taking a pic of it. Every little bit you give is just a foothold to get more from you. I'm a nice guy and even nice guys hae that aprt to them wanting more. The thing is, you aren't going to makehim happy or love you through any of this. You aren't going to gain his friendship because of it either. There are some dirty guys that are really good guys. But more often than not, they are just pigs. Basically, any guy that ever makes an effort to talk to you is attracted to you. Any guy that is attracted to you wants to do sexual things with you. Surely one of them is better than this guy. The least he could do is ask you how your day was. This guy thinks of you as a blowup doll basically. He keeps you around for entertainment and such. When not busy with you, he puts you away until the next time he wants to use you. You're in a bad situation. If you get mad or tell him off about what he says, he will like the challenge. If you go with it, he'll just be like "oh what else?". You're best best is to cut this guy loose. It is a bit funny to hear his "style". He is pretty clueless. You don't turn a girl on that way. But i'd stay away from this guy. Yes he may be harmless. But he sounds creepy enough to like go thru your underwear too. I'd definitely not let him alone with you ever. He's likely to think that just because you went along with the teasing that he can do anything. I think he's prolly just a horny young guy and not a rapist. But sometimes rapists are just that. You just never know who may be that way. They do that cuz they get the person alone. Thy have to have earned some sort of trust to do that. Just be careful with him hun. Personally, I'd talk to him less. If you enjoy it and all that's different. But you seemed to feel pretty gross and unhappy with yourself when around him. You should feel special and good about yourself with guys. That'show it is when someone is worth your time. I hope was help. Feel free to ask me questions anytime. I'd love to help. Let me know if i made sense or helped.
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i dont know how to reply to what u just said so i'm doing it here. but i'd think you coudl find attention with someone else. but yes bad attention is better than no attention.
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okay, so i have been dating this guy for 4 months now & he never wants to take me out and do what i want.. it's always what he wants. i feel like all he cares about is himself. so on our 4 month anniversary i said we should go to a movie and he said he didn't feel like it.. and we have only gone to a movie 3 times in the 4 months we have been dating and to dinner 4 times and one out of the 4 times he had a free meal. and i'm always willing to do something if he wants to do it .. like go to parties with his friends but if i ask him to come to a party with me and my friends or if he wants to go to dinner with my sis and her boyfriend.. he never wants to. because it's not convenient for him and not what he wants to do. BUT i just really feel used because we have been dating for 4 months and he has never picked me up at my house and took me anywhere. but when we hang out he usually wants me to just drive to his house and we do nothing he doesnt take me anywhere.. we have sex and i have leave the next morning after breakfast.. i am 20 years old and he's 18 and just feel like he should be doing more for me and making me happier .. are most relationships like this or am i overreacting? (link)
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You aren't overreacting at all. Forgive me but I'm going to be blunt here. You're dating a douchebag. He is fine having sex with you but every other thing is about what he wants. Essentially, he's a spoiled little boy. I don't know if there is much hope for you with this guy. Early in a relationship you have to put up a strong front so it doesn't get to this point. He takes you for granted now and is used to getting his way. I'd guess that he'd probably just break up with you if things changed. You seem like a nice girl with a big heart. You've been giving in to him time after time basically in hopes of kindness. Sometimes you have to be mean to recieve kindness. Sometimes the exact opposite of logic is how to go. If you act too nice people take advantage and if you act mean they try to please. It's backwards I know. If you like he sex and just having someone around then stick with him. But iI don't think you are ever going to be happy with him. The first 3 months are the time when a guy is going to be trying his hardest to be there for a girl. He's done zip but he gets free meals, gets to hang with his friends, and gets to have sex with you. Why would he want to change things at all? If it were me, sex would be very much cut out. If you go out to eat, pay for only your meal, if he can't pay for his then he can wash dishes or go hungry. Then if he wants to go out with the guys, I think you should go out with the guys as well. Not girls, but GUYS. If he doesn't change , then he never cared about you at all in which case you dump him on the spot. Some guys are users. My dad is very much like your bf. They don't change and sadly fate put you with this guy. You seem like you're probably a sweetheart. I think you have a good heart, especially since you thought maybe you were overreacting. When you go into a relationship, keep in mind the rules to how you are to be treated. If you want to take turns paying or something, the moment it gets to where you are paying too much, put your foot down. You can't ever let the rules change. In essence the guy has to play by your rules or he's gone. You have to amke it known that you aren't scared to drop him and be alone. The fear of losing a person is what keeps them attentive and trying. I'm a recovering nice guy that had to learn these things the hard way. Now you are going through the same. You'll be alright. It's perfectly fine to stand up for yourself.
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I'm engaged to an amazing man. He's truly every girls dream. He's attentive, caring, sweet, thoughtful, gorgeous. We've been together since I was 20, I am 23 now, he's 26. Our relationship is good, we fight, no more than any other couple. We aren't too stressed about the economoy, we aren't rich by any means, but we have food on our table, and a roof over our heads. We can't complain. Sex lifes fine.
Only problem is, I'm not truly happy with him. I love him with all my heart, but I'm not in love. And, I just can't see myself marrying someone I'm not in love with. Call me old fashioned, but I want to be deeply in love with the man I'm going to marry. And, it's just not my current fiance.
I need some advice on how to break the news to him without hurting him too much. I know, I know, there is no way to do this without hurting him. Which isn't what I'm setting out to do at all. That's why I've come here, how I can get through this as gently as possible? If you need anymore information about the situation, please let me know and I'd be glad to provide it. Thank you in advanced for your help.
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I don't know if you should marry this guy or not. That is for you to eventually decide. It sounds like a combination of things. I think you liked the chase. I think that he doesn't challenge you as much as you'd like. I think because of those reasons the spark is gone or was never there. Also, you said the sex life was "fine". It seems as if you would want a better sex life as well. "Fine" isn't exactly what I'd want to hear from a girlfriend. I'd be shaking in my boots if that was how it was described. It sounds as though the logic part of your brain says "yes" to this and the emotional/passion side is saying "no, i want more". It feels like this guy is a typical "nice guy". You know that he's a catch. I have a few suggestions on all of this for you. First off, you need time to think this all over. If you can, I'd suggest moving the wedding back. That way, you have time to make a better decision. If you are going to marry him, you are going to have to think of him differently. You have to find something new and exiting or something. This marriage needs to be more than a business transaction. There is nothing wrong with a good steady guy. It sounds as if he is too easy going or too pleasing. Girls want a guy with a bit of backbone or at least one that will actually fight a bit. Lackluster sex can be remedied. But if you want someone with a different personality type then maybe you should look elsewhere. We are how we are. Marriage is scary. Ask yourself if he was ever enough for you. If you must end it, then you must. If you love him then he deserves to be with someone that is crazy about him as well. Don't get married to just not be alone. If you are unhappy, you'll feel alone with him in the room. 20 years can fly by. if you wake up tomorrow and you are 43 you may have some teenage kids, a house payment, and a husband you don't even want to look at. Imagine this. You are at the altar. You have a priest or preacher doing your wedding. You look to your right, you see your man's face. What goes through your mind? Is it happiness? Is it fear? Is it feeling as if you are living a lie? Do you want to wake up next to him everyday? If you must, make a list of what bothers you about this marriage and about this guy. Then ask yourself which of these things can be fixed. Then ask yoruself how likely it is that they will be. Now, can you live with that forever? I hope i was help. it's easier in an actual conversation to get your thoughts as well. I wish you well no matter what you decide
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17/f
my ex boyfriend and i dated for a year and a half, and he broke up with me wednesday night. ever since then i haven't ate, i can't sleep, i cry 24/7..and when i do eat, i puke it up..i need some serious help.
don't tell me i'm young, i'll moved on..i've heard it before and it hasn't helped any (link)
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You've went through a difficult time. There isn't anything anyone will say that is going to fix this. You've been wounded. He sounds like your first love. This hurts. It isn't easy. All you can do right now is cry. Crying is perfectly okay. At some point the tears will stop. But know this, if this guy would give you a year and 1/2 then surely other guys would as well. For what it is worth, at least you will get some closure. I've been in a couple situations where I had none and it leaves you wondering for years "why?". You don't have your guy now but you do have a lot I'm sure. You have family, you have friends, you have your health, and you have your interests. As big of a part of your life a guy may be, he is only part. There are no happy endings in relationships. Someone will get hurt. Somtimes both people hurt. IF you broke up with him you'd probably feel bad as well. Relationships almost always end badly. But you will get to start over with someone new at some point. You'll get to find out all of these cute little things about a new person and will get to discover someone all again. Every relationship we have is a failure until we meet "the one". You've just marked one guy off the list. Now that the pretender is gone, you are one step closer to meeting the one you need. Now that you are single, you are available to meet that one.
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I am here because I have a situation that is driving me insane, and I need some help with it. My boyfriend has been calling me everyday, and for the past two days I have not heard anything from him. He will not answer my calls or read my text messages. The last time he called me was Friday. He told me that he had to work late, and he would call me the next day when he came in. He lives at the Salvation Army, and I called there after not hearing from him. They told me that he was on weekend pass. I can't believe he lied to me. He knows I worry about him. Why would he do this to me? I have been worried sick over this. I have called him numerous times and also texted him. He will not answer the phone. Sometimes it rings and sometimes it just goes straight to voicemail. This is really driving me insane. This hurts me so bad that he would do this. I don't understand why he is avoiding me because I have his tax check that he asked me to hold for him. All of this makes no sense. What am I supposed to do? Do I stop calling or what? I need some help dealing with this please. (link)
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I'd wait until you hear from him. Let him tell you where he has been and don't let on that you know about the pass. See if he lies to you more. If he does, I say to get rid of him. If a bf/gf lies about their where abouts.....it is bad news. It usually means that they are with another guy/girl or doing something they don't want you to know about like getting drunk or using drugs. It's about impossible nowaday to be in a place where you can't get to a phone. most people have cell phones. it's not like he couldnt reach you or leave you a voicemail. Personally, I'd be done with anyone in this situation.
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i've been with my boyfriend for almost two years and im superr jealous. he's never given me a reason to be but every other guy i've dated has cheated on me and so im constantly suspicious. i need a way to help feeling so jealous when he goes out with his brother or friends or whoever and im at home. i cant go with him all the time so dont say that. and i dont mean something like go out with my friends or go shopping or watch a movie... i need like a therapeutic outlet for jealousy... just something i can do at home to help my mind.. like how when you're mad or upset with somebody you can write down everything you wanna say on paper and then burn it, or have a conversation with a chair in front of you and pretend that they're sitting there and just let it all out.. i need something like that, but for jealously. im not sure this really makes sense, but i hope someone gets what im saying and can help me. any ideas? (link)
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I know you are just looking for an outlet but i'm going to repspond to a bit more than than. It's very easy to be paranoid about a bf/gf possibly cheating. You feel like you are just waiting for the day you will get your heart broken. Also when they are off doing things, you may wonder "is this going to be the day?". This happens. I go through it as well. If your guy was a chronic cheater, surely he would have in two years time. He stays with you. He must feel something to remain with you for that time. If he wanted someone else, he has had the time to leave. I don't know if he has ever cheated. Only he knows that. But I would say it is safe to think that he likes you best. If he likes you that much then there is a good chance he hasn't cheated. But you can't sit around just expecting it. There are guys on this earth that can love you and will not cheat. They do exist. You just have to let go enough and trust and have a bit of faith. If you want something to do while he is out. Try some form of exercise. Exercise reduces stress. Plus it may occupy your mind a bit. You could do things like aerobics, yoga, or kickboxing. Heck, if you have to jump rope or play a game like dance dance revolution you're on your way. If you don't want to exercise, maybe doing something like puzzles or sudoku may occupy your mind a bit. You aren't going to make someone be faithful no matter how hard you try. It is possible to give them a reason to be unfaithful though. Sometimes a gf/bf is just going to betray your trust. That isn't a flaw with you. It is their character flaw. Deep down, you know if this guy does anything suspicious. If you think about it and can't think of any suspicious behavior try to let go a bit. Some people will surpise you in good ways.
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16/f/usa.
ive had a crush on this guy since the beginning of freshman year, then realized nothing could ever happen, so i moved on. We're friends, we talk a couple of times a week, I dont see him too much, hes a senior now I only have one class with him, and he sits on the other side of the room, so i cant really talk to him. And I have a crush on him again. I talk to him on aim a couple of times during the week, sometimes for hours, and i say hi or he pats me on the back or we exchange a few words at the end of class. He's a super nice guy, not a BAD kid at all! Takes priority in everything he does, hes nice to everyone. He's...not that typical dumbass, i mean it, he's really smart too, and me...im not the brightest crayon in the box, but im not a fricken idiot, my god haha, im pretty smart too and i have alot of goals that i want to achieve. Well, i see him in my class and as i walk to my seat, i pass him, i want to talk to him! i want to say hi...or something else...i have no idea what to say, or what to talk about, or how to approach him. If I see him in the hallways or at other school functions im too afriad to say anything to him...because im afraid i'll sound dumb or he wont even care or be intrested. I mean...why would he go for someone like me? I am i mean, smart, outgoing, and funny and not that bad looking i guess..but i want him to notice me more...how? (link)
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The days after you talk on aim just say something like "oh u were so funny last night". I think flashing back to those converations may help when in class. Why don't you just walk up to him in class and go "Pez?" and with your hand pop open a pez dispenser. It will come as a suprise. Some people find it cute because pez is odd. Plus people usually don't turn it down. You now are standing by him with his attention. Heck, if you gotta be the Pez girl so be it. In time if you didn't offer him Pez, he'd probably be asking you why there isn't pez today. I know it's corny but it's just an ice breaker. You could just use the straight forward method by saying "i thought i'd come over and talk to you." it's simple. It is complimentary because it's basically saying he is the one you want to be talking to.
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f/19
okay so i discharge a lot and its starting to really get annoying. is there anyway that i can make it stop or at least happen less often? i don't want to be fingered or something and to be already wet whenever a guy puts his hands there. any advice? (link)
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First off, I'm a guy so I don't know all of the inner workings of girls. You're all still a bit of a mystery. I know you already feel a certain way about this and are self concious. What I will say is this though. Being wet when a guy touches you is a good thing. Being overly wet is even better. From a guy's perspective, it's one of the most flattering things that could ever happen. When a guy is with a girl, if he cares about how she is feeling he will worry and is very fragile. You'll put guys at ease. You'll have them feel better and sexier about themselves and that will surely be returned to you. I think this is a blessing in disguise. It is hard to let go and not be in control of things though. But, you can do what guys do. If we are worried about being turned on we try to envision ugly people or very old people or maybe even family members. Whatever it takes to not think about sex we will think of. You may get wet but you've never had to go do math problems on a board, in front of a class, while looking like u are smuggling a sausage in your pants.
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Okay..so..yesterday..me and my boyfriend went on a date with his best friend..and his girlfriend.
I thought that everything was going pretty good..we were all getting along and stuff.
But then..one of my best friend's has first hour with the other girl that we went on the date with..and she was saying a whole lot of crap about me..like how i acted so stupid..and how i was really annoying..and all that kind of stuff..
SO..just in case i'm thrown with her again..what do i do to make sure i dont piss her off? she acted really nice on the date..but then at school..she apparently didnt like me. she's only a grade above me..a year..maybe 2 year's age difference..i was quiet on the date unless i was talked too..she talked to me some. i thought i acted pretty okay..
my boyfriend and her boyfriend are best friends..i know im gunna be thrown with this girl again..how can i not " act stupid" or " annoying"
like..what do i talk about if they ask me what's new or something?
i get nervous around people who are older around me..and they're all older..boyfriend's are both seniors..and the other girl is a sophmore..i'm a freshman..
helppppp!
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I wouldn't worry too much about it. Girls are simply vicious. You surely know how some people will put down anyone else. That doesn't mean that you are flawed or did anything wrong. She probably exaggerated just so she could make the story sound better. You two don't have to be friends. You just need to be civil. Plus, like with most tellings of stories you probably aren't getting the same story the girl told. Your friend probably exaggerated it a bit as well. At the very worst, maybe you made a bad impression. Not everyone is going to like you. More than likely 1/3 to 1/2 the people won't. Be pleasant and don't feel you have to be perfect. You can't make anyone like you. Maybe she will like you more if she knows you better. But surely you shouldn't be sad or crying because she's a wet blanket. But if you want to make a better impression then listen to what she says. Add to it if you can. Like if she says she liked a movie that you like "say how you like it ..especially the part where....". that sort of thing works well. also, don't be scared to ask her questions. People are more happy talking about themself than anything usually. Wll good luck. I hope i was a bit of help.
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Im gonna try to keep this short and simple even though its probably going to be long. Im 17/f and hes 16/m. Hes shy, and Im shy sometimes but not really. Hes really sweet, and always likes to be the good guy, and never wants to hurt anyone. I started dating him in august. I took him for granted and tried to act like I didnt care (to make him want me). It was stupid, I know. So, about two months later he broke up with me. He said it was because he 'never got to see me, our relationship sucked,(he only put it like that after I had been really rude to him) and it cant always be about him making the first move.' (I never made any moves because he seemed like a goodie goodie and I thought it was just going to take awhile) And I agree with him. But I completely freaked out. I wanted to go back in time so bad. He said we could maybe give it another try later. But I said no. His friend called me a week or so later, to tell me my ex supposedly wanted me back and wanted to hang out. But nothing ever happened. Me and my ex talked occasionally through text messages but never saw each other. Sometimes I would freak out on him and be mean, but it was only because I wanted him to ask me to do something, but I never told him that. I went all those months trying to let go, but I never could. Now, when we talk, Im really nice, but Im starting to think its just pushing him more away. Ive been through this before, but its just different this time. I was crazy about him the whole time we dated, and I was so happy to have him, but I never let him know that. Eventually (in late October) I ran into him at this thing in our town. He was walking towards me but I got mad and looked the other way so he just walked past. Then I got my friend to go ask him why he didnt talk to me. Again, stupid, I know. He told him 'tell her I still love her and for her to come talk to me.' But heres the thing, he had his arm around some chick while he said it. So I was just like gah whatever, and I left. Not because of him, but just to go to my friends house, but I left without talking to him. Then the next day he texted me, and we had a good conversation, and he asked me why I didnt want to talk to him, and he told me he still loved me. And I said it back. Then we quit talking. Then it was just like nothing really. We had a few more awkward text conversations every now and then, and then he eventually got a girlfriend. (January) A few days after they had been dating, he texted me for the first time in forever. He told me it wasnt working out with her. And he asked me if I had dated anyone recently. I told him no. Then we talked a little about stupid crap, and then it ended. Then I found out he broke up with her the next day. And we havent talked since. Then about a month passed, and yesterday, (February) I found out that he has another girlfriend. Shes only fourteen but she seems sweet. I dont know what to do. I cant keep pretending like I dont care, when I think about him all day everday. He really has no reason to take me back, because I acted so stupid around him, he doesnt really know the real me. I cant tell him that though, I dont like making excuses. What can I do? I really dont want to let this go, thats what Ive been doing for months. I think its time to make a move. It would be best if I 'ran into' him somewhere, but we dont go to the same school, and I never know where he'll be. I just dont know what else to do. (link)
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You sound like you are awful dealing with both social situations and have anger management type issues. I know you don't want to train a guy. The problem is that he is shy and you do things that would scare away a shy guy. A shy guy needs either someone very forward but nice about it or someone relaxed and accepting. I know you wouldn't want to say "kiss me" when you want kissed. I get that. If he is shy, he probably isn't going to pick up on your signals at all. You'd be better served by saying something like "you know, if you kiss me i'm not going to pull away.". You have to say things that will put him at ease enough to make a move on his terms. it's very difficult being shy and for those not shy they just don't understand. You put yourself in a bad situation. This guy doesn't know the real you as you put it. It was up to you to do that. You're just as guilty as him in not bringing the two of you closer. Right now, I'd say you should talk to him. Not text, literally talk and preferably face to face. If yo like him that much, I think you need to say that you want to try again, that you made mistakes and be humble about it. You need for him to know you hurt, to know that you regret how you were. It's okay to tell someone that you made mistakes and may make them in the future. These games and playing around have gotten you nowhere. Be direct, be honest and be calm. Do it in a way that he has time to take in what you say. Don't put too much pressure and just do it as gracefully as you can. Then perhaps, he will want to give it anohter shot. Don't be scared to say that you didn't let your guard down with him before and that he didn't get to see all of you.
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