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sexi boy thats not my bf
i dont know what to do!!!! im engaged to my boyfriend of 3 years and about to be an army wife. i love him and wanna have a family and a future with him but theres one problem. about a year and a half ago we went on a bad break and i ended up have sex with this guy i go to career school with. hes really sexy and really funny. it was just a one time thing, friend helping a friend out. ever since then(a year and a half ago) i cant quit thinking about him. i know me and him wouldnt ever have a future, trust me im not his type. although i kinda wish i was. i think that its really starting to interfere with my relationship now. my fiance knows what happens and hates the kid. i dont talk to him anymore but i cant get him off my mind. i dont know what to do, i feel sooooo bad to thinking about him. i feel like im mentally cheating or something.
P.S. do you think it has anything to do with the fact that im 18 and part of me still wants to be a kid and not in a serious relationship but the other part of me wants to grow up and get married and live my life?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
i understand you love your fiance and are probably in love with him. part of love though is timing. sadly, you met and fell for your fiance at a young age. you just as likely to be mature at your age. the thing is, at 18 there is much you still have yet to experience and have much you'd want to experience. When people get married, they intend on being with the person forever. If you were with him for the rest of your life, that's about 60 years. that's 3 times longer than you've lived. take everything you know and multipy it by 3. I think these thoughts you are having are just your mind telling you that you are not ready for such a long term commitment just yet. Some people can make it work at such a young age. One of my best friend's parents got married at 18 and have an amazing marriage. You have to ask yourself why you said "yes". Did you feel obligated? Were you scared to say "no"? Younger guys tend to want to propose to sort of "lock up" a relationship. Realize that if your fiance goes overseas, you wil both be alone with these thoughts but also be tied to him. Could you do that for a year or two? Honestly, you probably need to get some things out of your system. If you don't then you are likely to always wonder. If you know that your guy is the one and you want to have a life with hi, things will need to change a bit and you will have to step up. I do think that you are missing something so you think of this other guy. Ask yourself what you like about him or the idea of him. Can you find these things in the fiance? There is going to be a point where you have to decide if your fiance is going to be with you or without you forever. There probably isn't an in between here. He thinks he is marrying you. I wish you well and hope I was of some help.
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