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am i overreacting?
okay, so i have been dating this guy for 4 months now & he never wants to take me out and do what i want.. it's always what he wants. i feel like all he cares about is himself. so on our 4 month anniversary i said we should go to a movie and he said he didn't feel like it.. and we have only gone to a movie 3 times in the 4 months we have been dating and to dinner 4 times and one out of the 4 times he had a free meal. and i'm always willing to do something if he wants to do it .. like go to parties with his friends but if i ask him to come to a party with me and my friends or if he wants to go to dinner with my sis and her boyfriend.. he never wants to. because it's not convenient for him and not what he wants to do. BUT i just really feel used because we have been dating for 4 months and he has never picked me up at my house and took me anywhere. but when we hang out he usually wants me to just drive to his house and we do nothing he doesnt take me anywhere.. we have sex and i have leave the next morning after breakfast.. i am 20 years old and he's 18 and just feel like he should be doing more for me and making me happier .. are most relationships like this or am i overreacting?
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You aren't overreacting at all. Forgive me but I'm going to be blunt here. You're dating a douchebag. He is fine having sex with you but every other thing is about what he wants. Essentially, he's a spoiled little boy. I don't know if there is much hope for you with this guy. Early in a relationship you have to put up a strong front so it doesn't get to this point. He takes you for granted now and is used to getting his way. I'd guess that he'd probably just break up with you if things changed. You seem like a nice girl with a big heart. You've been giving in to him time after time basically in hopes of kindness. Sometimes you have to be mean to recieve kindness. Sometimes the exact opposite of logic is how to go. If you act too nice people take advantage and if you act mean they try to please. It's backwards I know. If you like he sex and just having someone around then stick with him. But iI don't think you are ever going to be happy with him. The first 3 months are the time when a guy is going to be trying his hardest to be there for a girl. He's done zip but he gets free meals, gets to hang with his friends, and gets to have sex with you. Why would he want to change things at all? If it were me, sex would be very much cut out. If you go out to eat, pay for only your meal, if he can't pay for his then he can wash dishes or go hungry. Then if he wants to go out with the guys, I think you should go out with the guys as well. Not girls, but GUYS. If he doesn't change , then he never cared about you at all in which case you dump him on the spot. Some guys are users. My dad is very much like your bf. They don't change and sadly fate put you with this guy. You seem like you're probably a sweetheart. I think you have a good heart, especially since you thought maybe you were overreacting. When you go into a relationship, keep in mind the rules to how you are to be treated. If you want to take turns paying or something, the moment it gets to where you are paying too much, put your foot down. You can't ever let the rules change. In essence the guy has to play by your rules or he's gone. You have to amke it known that you aren't scared to drop him and be alone. The fear of losing a person is what keeps them attentive and trying. I'm a recovering nice guy that had to learn these things the hard way. Now you are going through the same. You'll be alright. It's perfectly fine to stand up for yourself.
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Look. The guy your dating doesn't think about you. Think! A guy should treat the person the care about like you with care and compassion. So if he doesnt maybe your with the wrong guy. Do you have other guy friends. I think you need to gather up some strength and tell him that his is selfish and the it might not be workking out. If you stop thinking about him for a sec maybe you will see a friend or someone you know that is guy that will treat you like a .... precious jewel. Everyone is afraid to start all over again in a relationship, but they have to gather their courage and do what they think is right. Make a choice. It is either now or later. The more you wait the fast it will Hit you.
Lifescomplicated
Becareful and Let YOUR voice be heard. Not his. DOnt be the controlled person in an endless relationship.
YOU ARE NOT OVERREACTING! YOUR HUMAN THAT DESERVES RESPECT AND LOVE!
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If you aren't happy, dump him.
All this justification, all this complaining, is meaningless. Some people would be perfectly happy in that sort of relationship. Some people would be satasfied. If you aren't, end the relationship.
You don't need perfect reasons, you only need your own reasons. If you have your own reasons, end it.
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