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Im gonna try to keep this short and simple even though its probably going to be long. Im 17/f and hes 16/m. Hes shy, and Im shy sometimes but not really. Hes really sweet, and always likes to be the good guy, and never wants to hurt anyone. I started dating him in august. I took him for granted and tried to act like I didnt care (to make him want me). It was stupid, I know. So, about two months later he broke up with me. He said it was because he 'never got to see me, our relationship sucked,(he only put it like that after I had been really rude to him) and it cant always be about him making the first move.' (I never made any moves because he seemed like a goodie goodie and I thought it was just going to take awhile) And I agree with him. But I completely freaked out. I wanted to go back in time so bad. He said we could maybe give it another try later. But I said no. His friend called me a week or so later, to tell me my ex supposedly wanted me back and wanted to hang out. But nothing ever happened. Me and my ex talked occasionally through text messages but never saw each other. Sometimes I would freak out on him and be mean, but it was only because I wanted him to ask me to do something, but I never told him that. I went all those months trying to let go, but I never could. Now, when we talk, Im really nice, but Im starting to think its just pushing him more away. Ive been through this before, but its just different this time. I was crazy about him the whole time we dated, and I was so happy to have him, but I never let him know that. Eventually (in late October) I ran into him at this thing in our town. He was walking towards me but I got mad and looked the other way so he just walked past. Then I got my friend to go ask him why he didnt talk to me. Again, stupid, I know. He told him 'tell her I still love her and for her to come talk to me.' But heres the thing, he had his arm around some chick while he said it. So I was just like gah whatever, and I left. Not because of him, but just to go to my friends house, but I left without talking to him. Then the next day he texted me, and we had a good conversation, and he asked me why I didnt want to talk to him, and he told me he still loved me. And I said it back. Then we quit talking. Then it was just like nothing really. We had a few more awkward text conversations every now and then, and then he eventually got a girlfriend. (January) A few days after they had been dating, he texted me for the first time in forever. He told me it wasnt working out with her. And he asked me if I had dated anyone recently. I told him no. Then we talked a little about stupid crap, and then it ended. Then I found out he broke up with her the next day. And we havent talked since. Then about a month passed, and yesterday, (February) I found out that he has another girlfriend. Shes only fourteen but she seems sweet. I dont know what to do. I cant keep pretending like I dont care, when I think about him all day everday. He really has no reason to take me back, because I acted so stupid around him, he doesnt really know the real me. I cant tell him that though, I dont like making excuses. What can I do? I really dont want to let this go, thats what Ive been doing for months. I think its time to make a move. It would be best if I 'ran into' him somewhere, but we dont go to the same school, and I never know where he'll be. I just dont know what else to do.
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You sound like you are awful dealing with both social situations and have anger management type issues. I know you don't want to train a guy. The problem is that he is shy and you do things that would scare away a shy guy. A shy guy needs either someone very forward but nice about it or someone relaxed and accepting. I know you wouldn't want to say "kiss me" when you want kissed. I get that. If he is shy, he probably isn't going to pick up on your signals at all. You'd be better served by saying something like "you know, if you kiss me i'm not going to pull away.". You have to say things that will put him at ease enough to make a move on his terms. it's very difficult being shy and for those not shy they just don't understand. You put yourself in a bad situation. This guy doesn't know the real you as you put it. It was up to you to do that. You're just as guilty as him in not bringing the two of you closer. Right now, I'd say you should talk to him. Not text, literally talk and preferably face to face. If yo like him that much, I think you need to say that you want to try again, that you made mistakes and be humble about it. You need for him to know you hurt, to know that you regret how you were. It's okay to tell someone that you made mistakes and may make them in the future. These games and playing around have gotten you nowhere. Be direct, be honest and be calm. Do it in a way that he has time to take in what you say. Don't put too much pressure and just do it as gracefully as you can. Then perhaps, he will want to give it anohter shot. Don't be scared to say that you didn't let your guard down with him before and that he didn't get to see all of you.
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Hi there
Well to be honest, your actions have pushed him away completely... Let this be a life lesson, to never act immature again.. Because the way you were acting was immature. Sorry to say it that way. If you want to let him know how you feel, let him know, but don't go into anything crazy, because remember, he now has a gf... My only advice is act more mature, think about the consequences of your actions, and let him know how you feel. That way, he won't think youre feeling the opposite of what you really feel. Sometimes us girls want guys to be so romantic and forgiving when we are at our most bitchiest moments... but think about it... Would you try to be nice with him when he's being very mean to you? If you told him you still love him, and he just walked away or never looked you in the face again, how would you feel? Good luck, and I hope next time around you take all this into consideration :)
Flirty
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