IhAvEaNsWeRs2104's advice column

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Q: im not really sure if i am depressed so ill just tell you how i feel and you can tell me if you think im depressed.

how i feel and have been acting:
empty
alone
scared
havent been eating a lot lately
have been getting headaches and stomachaches
havent been hanging out with my friends lately
i like to sit in my room with the lights out
i have trouble sleeping lately
i dont really like to talk anymore
get annoyed at little things
a little bit dizzy sometimes
sad
dont like to talk on the phone anymore
dont really like going places
anxious over stupid things sometimes

please help thanks

one more thing i use to have thoughts bout suicide but now its like i dont care about anything and dont feel anything.

To me it seems you are very depressed. You know you can go to the doctors and get it checked out there are tests you can take to see if you have depression which is an illness and is treated with medication.

Good luck,
Hope I helped

(If you would like more of my advice e-mail me at truelovers2104@yahoo.com)

Q: okay im so stressed out with love and my friends moving away and i need a way to relieve the stress so particarly are ther any tae kwon do work outs?

I get stressed out real easy and I always need to find new ways to relax. What I do is yoga it is easy and you might think at first you are not flexable and you can't but really you don't need to. You can buy the videos at almost any store and they are real cheap. Make sure when you do it you are in a nice quiet area where you can't be interupted.

Good luck,
Hope I helped

(If you would like more of my advice e-mail me at truelovers2104@yahoo.com)

Q: i have a boyfriend and i love spending time with him and all, but lately it seems that we dont really have things to talk about. and there is this other guy who i have liked for awhile and i have been talking to him a lot lately and i always have a blast with him. i like them both a lot and have no idea what to do about it! i dont really know if there is anything i can really do about this but i need some input from ohter people!

If you really like this other guy possibly more than your boyfriend then I say break up with your boyfriend. Even if you only like this guy a little bit more because you don't want to lead your boyfriend on and he may start to love you and if you after all that find out you don't you are really going to hurt him so you should really find out which one you would rather be with and then go from there.

Good luck,
Hope I helped

(If you would like more of my advice e-mail me at truelovers2104@yahoo.com)

Q: Lately, I've been getting pretty serious with my guy friend who just happens to be 18. The problem is, I'm 15.

He, however, is still in highschool and still has one more year to complete.

Is this consider child molestation or anything like that? Could he, or I, get in trouble?

Also, I turn 16 in about a week, when I'm 16 is that still illegal?

Yes it is considered child molestation. He could get into trouble but I am not to sure about you really. And yes even when you turn 16 it is still illegal and it will be until you are 18. If you really love him and want to be with him then I say just keep it on the downlow and don't let anyone know about who could or would get you into trouble.

Good luck,
Hope I helped

(If you would like more of my advice e-mail me at truelovers2104@yahoo.com)

Q: My family is all going to go to Wisconsin next Thursday-Sunday. I do not want to go and neither does my mom. We would both go if my dad let us stay in a hotel, but he said that it is too much money. My grandfather (My grandfather is who we are going there to see.) keep his house at 95 degrees and I'm not joking. There aren't even enough beds in his house! He can't hear a word that I say and I'm have strep right now so, I'm not going to talk any louder than I normally do. I really do not want to go up to Wisconsin (Mom said that she's staying here) so, how do I convince my dad to not make me go?

I rate 5's for anyone who tries

All you could really do in this situation without hurting anyones feelings is to tell him the truth that your sick and you really don't seem to like it there much. If you sound really sad and upset about going ya know like guilt him into leting you stay then he more likely will fall for it and let you. Then if that still doesn't work ask your mom to try and convience him she could probably get a better hold on him then you could so it may work better like that.

Good luck,
Hope I helped

(If you would like more of my advice e-mail me at truelovers2104@yahoo.com)

Q: So i'm a girl (15) and i like this guy we'll just call him hc. Well, hc and i are like really really good friends and he now knows that i like him. well, me and hc have not talked since i told him. Another problem, we are kinda related but not like blood related. his cousin married my brother. but we were friends before that and my brother got married in febuary and hc was dancing with me all the time we shrared drinks and food and we had so much fun. He's really nice and i can't stop thinking about him! I don't know how to even start our first conversation since he knows i like him! Please help! i rate all 5's usually!

When you talk to him just act like he doesn't even know. If you do you may get real nervous and not think of things to say. Talk to him like you used to talk to him. If he brings it up then you know he isn't freaked out by it or anything. Or if you want to just be all outspoken about it straight up ask him if he likes you it will be easier to just clear the air.

Good luck,
Hope I helped

(If you would like more of my advice e-mail me at truelovers2104@yahoo.com)

Q: okay so here's the deal. I'm 16/f and my best friend is a guy. He's attractive but i've never really like thought about doing anything sexual with him. He used to date one of my other friends, and now he's asking me to do stuff with him. I'm sure if I should. I'd feel bad because of my friend, but I want to at the same time because I haven't been with anyone in along time. Considering i've only been with 2 other guys. What should I do? Am i bad person for even considering it?

First of all no you are not wrong for thinking this. But if it is your friends feelings you are worried about then all you have to do is ask if it would be ok with her. She will more than likely say yes because she will see you are a good enough friend to ask her first before you do something about your feelings. It is your choice on wether or not to ask her but it will make you feel a lot better if you do.

Good luck,
Hope I helped

(If you would like more of my advice e-mail me at truelovers2104@yahoo.com)

Q: so i am very uncomfortable about talking to my mom about "girl things". how do i tell my mom that i need a razor? please help i rate 5.

I have the same problem with my mom so I know exactly how you feel. It is really hard but once you ask her or tell her things seem to become a lot easier with her. What I would do and what I did was sit her down and tell her exactly how you feel and what you need. It may feel embarassing at first but once you say it she will be glade you didn't wait forever. If you want you can ask her like when am I going to get a razor then she will definatly get you one. After it is all over with you will feel a lot better and closer to you mom.

Good luck,
Hope I helped

(If you would like more of my advice e-mail me at truelovers2104@yahoo.com)

Q: This guy has been calling me a lot, and I barely know him. We've hung out a few times (with other friends with us), and only once has he mentioned wanting to see me in a different way if you know what I mean. But he calls me and we talk about random stuff. The thing is, he's not the boyfriend type and usually has a bunch of girls, never a girlfriend (or so I've HEARD). My question is.. IF I wanted to have something with this guy, how can I make him "settle down" and be in a real exclusive relationship? Any tips, tricks, advice? thanks!

Well my only tip to you would be to not try to change him he will change on his own let him know what you want and if he likes you enough he will change for you. But if you try to change him all hell may break loose. If you think it is the right thing to do then go ahead. Let me put it this way if you were in a relationship or were going to be wouldn't you feel bad if someone tryed to change you I know he will eventually turn around when he is ready though don't try to do it for him let him make that decision on his own don't make it for him.

Good luck,
Hope I helped

(If you would like more of my advice e-mail me at truelovers2104@yahoo.com)

Q:
Okay so im going out w/ this guy and my dad says i have to break up with him! and i like completley LOVE him and i dont want to...
but i dont want to get in even more trouble with him then i already am...
WHAT SHOULD I DO?

PLEASE help

Confused.

If you are really in love with him then it won't matter what your dad says don't listen to him. Keep it on the down low but if you are in love with him and don't want to loose him then it will definatly be worth it so just break the rules. But if he isn't worth getting in trouble over then just break it off you say you love him though so I think if you wanna avoid trouble and sneaking around. Talk to your dad tell him that you love him and you really want to be with him. Even if you can compromise with him and tell him that he will come over and he will supervise it will all be worth it in the end wether you have to sit with your dad and be with him at least you get to be with him.

Good luck,
Hope I helped

(If you would like more of my advice e-mail me at truelovers2104@yahoo.com)

Q:
So..there's this gurl & i guess we're " best friends" well like 1 min. she'll be fine w/ you and then the next she goes crazy and talks behind ur back and says all this crap about you that's not true!

I don't know what to do because i thought we were friends...?

Confused.

What you need to do is stick up for yourself let her know that you know she is saying crap and she needs to either say it to your face or shut up. I had a friend like that and now I don't even talk to her but what you need to do is confront her and tell her whats up. Talk it out and if she still talks about you then let go of her as a friend aparently she wasn't a good one so don't even talk to her anymore.

Good luck,
Hope I helped

(If you would like more of my advice e-mail me at truelovers2104@yahoo.com)

Q: i know this is long but i realllllly need advice!! so please help!

okay. so my group of my friends is pretty much my 2 best friends and one of my best friends boyfriends and his friends. its hard not to want to hook up with any guys in the group since were together alot though, but all the guys in the group are pretty much jerks except my friends boyfriend. but theres this one guy in the group i started likeing. after we met the first few times and actually started talking i friend requested him on myspace and we messaged eachother and yeah thats kinda where it started. then one night after we were all hanging out, after everyone went home i was texting with my friend about how i wanted to hook up with him. then like 5 minutes after that randomly at like 12:00 at night he messages me on myspace. we start talking and some how he ends up meeting me up the street from my house at 1:00 a.m and we hook up in his car. i told him ahead of time i had no intentions of doing anything else with him and he said ok but how about a kiss. so that was gunna be the plan. just kissing. like i wanted to. but one thing lead to another and i did end up going further. but not too far. i resisted a few things. so after that we really didnt even talk that much besides when we'd see eachother when all our friends hung out on the weekends. then like 2 or 3 weeks later he has people over at his house one night and while we were both "out of it"..we ended up hooking up again. and one thing again lead to another, and we did more. except i went further this time. i regreted it and i felt soo stupid cause again, we didnt even talk besides when all our friends hung out. so i just tried to forget about him but then once again..2 weeks after that. after a night of being out with all our friends i stayed out alot later then usual and we end up hooking up again and by the end of the night we were doing more stuff again. i feel soo stupid. so after, hes taking me home and i start telling him about how my friends dont want be to get USED like sarah did" like hinting him..cuz he had used my friend sarah in the past but they only hooked up once, not 3 times. and he goes "well this is different" and i go "how?" and he goes "i dont know." wow so okay i dont even get what that means. soo the next day i feel soo dumb for hooking up with him again and i feel dumb cause i like him and i dont even think he likes me and im just regreting it. i thought he might because he does like cute things, like this past time when we hooked up at first we just pecked alot and he'd hold my hand. so i thought that was something. so finally the other night i message him on myspace and i go "does hooking up with me mean anything to you? or am i just your random weekend hook up?" and he goes "i really dont know" and i reply and say "how do you not know" and he reads it and never writes back. also his friends say they've like never seen him with a girl, like a girlfriend. but what do you think? do you think he might actually like me? or do you think hes just using me?? and should i stop hooking up with him??

Girl you need to stop hooking up with this guy ok for one you are just digging yourself into a hole of hurt and pain so you aren't getting anything good out of it. If he can sit there and seriously say he doesn't know if hooking up with you means anything to him at all then that should be a wake up call to you to let you know you are really wasting your time. You seem to like him so what you should do is stop hookin up with him because that is why he is coming back to you because he knows what he is gonna get at the end. So what you should do is be friends and until he wants to and can give you a relationship don't hook up with him you are just gonna get yourself hurt and that could and will really hurt.

Good luck,
Hope I helped

(If you would like more of my advice e-mail me at truelovers2104@yahoo.com)

Q: Ok so me and my bf have sex like everytime we are together. Its not that I dont like it or anything like that but I would like to ave a great day with him with having to have sex. Is there something wrong with that? And how can I tell him this without making him feel bad?

That is perfectly fine I don't think there is ever a person who just wants to hang out. A guy no matter what when sex isn't involved then he will feel bad but that isn't your fault that is just men. Just tell him it is more special and it is better when it isn't a everyday thing it soon becomes worn out and boring if it is all the time. Just explain to him how you feel and he will be ok with it I am sure.

Good luck,
Hope I helped

(If you would like more of my advice e-mail me at truelovers2104@yahoo.com)

Q: What would you say is the average age for starting to date, have a boyfriend and makeout????

I don't think there is really an average age I think it is just if you like someone and they like you then go for it. Some people get a boyfriend at an early age and some don't it is just who the person is and who you meet but don't sweat it you will find someone but it is always better to wait and let that someone find you.

Good luck,
Hope I helped

(If you would like more of my advice e-mail me at truelovers2104@yahoo.com)

Q: My boyfriend and i have been dating for 5 wonderful months. he is the best, and i cant even describe him. though the other day, he talked to me about engagement, which i am quite excited for. though me and him would have to keep it on the downlow for i am going to be 16 and he will be 18. he isnt going to ask for awhile yet(falltime or beyond that time, hes thinking), he just brought it up because he wanted to see how i felt about it. i actually feel wonderful about it and i feel very ready. i love this man with all my heart and have never felt this way about someone before. i dont have much of a family, but him and his family makes up for it. im not reallt needing advice, cause i know id say yes in a heartbeat, but am i crazy for being excited at 16 y/o and i know it will be easy to hide from my parents because i hide everything from them, but is this a ridculous decision?!? thanks alot

I am actually in the same situation as you but I am younger than you me and my bf have been dating for 2 years and he asked me to marry him on our 1 year and 6 month anneversary and I was very excited and I still am. The only advice you really need is to make sure you really love him and make sure you follow your heart. If you are sure 100% then don't doubt it because it will ruin the excitment just don't loose thought of what is best for both of you because when you are engaged you become one person, one thought, and one heartbeat just don't give up and if you really love the person then no matter what throught all the dark days the love you have for each other will always show.

Good luck,CONGRATS
Hope I helped

(If you would like more of my advice e-mail me at truelovers2104@yahoo.com)

Q: I met my best guy friend 3 years ago (lets call him mark)...we were friends for about two months before we started acting like a couple but we'rent going out. About a year later we were nothing but friends and a new friend of mine (lets call her aly) needed a bf. So I introduced them. Aly went out with Mark on and off for about 5 months...they have been broken uhp for 6th months now and me and aly have been best friends for a year. Me and mark have recently (2 months ago) had feelings for each other again. I went to the movies with him yesterday and I relized that I had fallen completely in love with him. I dont want to hurt aly but is it ohkay for me to date mark eventually? what should I tell aly so she can accept it. Ive know mark for at lesast a year longer than aly...and I used have a realtionship like theirs before. what should I do??? i'll rate high

If she is a really good friend then before you act on your feelings you need to talk to her. Tell her how you feel and that you really care about also let her know that neither one of you have done anything about this because you didn't want to mess it up as you both being friends she will really RESPECT that from you and if you tell her how you feel about him then of course she will understand. But before you do anything you really need to ask her about it all so she doesn't hate you over it.

Good luck,
Hope I helped

(If you would like more of my advice e-mail me at truelovers2104@yahoo.com)

Q: Okay, last night I attended a party at my friend's house (I'll call him "Bill"). Anyways, Bill is very upset because one of his roomates (I'll call her "Jill") recently turned him down after Bill asked her out...Bill also invited one of his best friends over last night. (I'll call him Dan) Later on in the evening, Dan and I were kinda' flirting and he told me something about how he liked to be touched in a certain area (I'm very sorry, I know that's very innapropriate, but trust me, it matters later)...and after a while, he went downstairs to Jill's room...he was gone for a very very long time, so I went down to check on them...but before I got completely downstairs, I heard Dan telling Jill the SAME thing about how he likes to be touched. I was kind of startled and unsure of what to do, so I left them alone for maybe 10 or 15 minnutes...and when I secretly checked on them again, I CLEARLY heard Jill softly moaning...I didn't tell Bill, because I wasn't sure if my suspicions were correct...

I finally went and checked on them again, (this time I heard them just laughing and talking) so I went down to say "hi". Dan clearly saw my distress and confronted me about it. I asked him if he had done anything with her, but he completely denied it and even swore on my life that nothing happened...he said he was just talking with her and then someone on the phone. I asked him about the "I like to be touched here" comment, and he said he tells that to a lot of people. As for the "moaning", he said they were joking around, but all *I* heard was moaning (and not over emphasized moaning like they were joking) and nothing else...I'm just not sure what to think...

And what's worse is that Jill had allready started a relationship with someone else.

I realize I probably shouldn't have been snooping, but I look out for Bill like he's my brother...I'm completely aware that it may be a terrible misunderstanding, but I need a couple opinions...what do you think?

Thank you,
That Gothic Chick

If you are really good friends with "Bill" then you need to let him know even if you are totally wrong you don't need to give it chance for him to get hurt. Tell him you are not sure but you really wanted to let him know so he knows there is a chance you could be wrong. Just think of it in this way if someone else heard what you did but someone else was in your place and they didn't tell you but you found out wouldn't you feel kinda betrayed by your good friend treat him how you would like to be treated in this type of situation.

Good luck,
Hope I helped

(If you would like more of my advice e-mail me at truelovers2104@yahoo.com)

Q: ok so i have a girlfriend and she loves me to death and i love her too but we've been together fer almost a year. Things are starting to wind down and my g/f is noticing that and she's affraid of us breaking up. What if it gets so bad that we never see each other anymore. I will admit that i'm kinda un-falling in love. i'm starting to not love her day by day because i'm noticing all these things that she does because she knows me too well. it gets annoying sometimes tho i liked it better when we were complete strangers ( well not complete strangers). If it gets that we just grow appart how would i break up with her because if i do she'll be crying her eyes out. she does that everytime she thinks we are falling apart. how do i break up with her without all the tears?
HELP ME
sincerely, someone u don't know

I am sorry to say this but when you are breaking up with someone and "LOVE" is involved there is always going to be tears. But the best way for you to break it off with her is to take her some where were you both will be alone with no interuptions or distractions just tell her how you feel tell her you don't want to drag it on any longer because the longer you wait to do this the more it is going to hurt in the end and that really sucks so you have to do it as soon as possible. It is going to be hard but you don't want to lead her on any longer thinking you feel the same way she does. If you explain to her every way you feel and give her good reasons and tell her you didn't want to hurt her and you did everything to make sure it would be even less painful to her. She will most definatly be upset but you have to let her you still want to be friends (if you do) and really comfort her and try to make it easy.

Good luck,
Hope I helped

(If you would like more of my advice e-mail me at truelovers2104@yahoo.com)

Q: ok my best friend likes this guy who likes her too but there not going out becuase shes going away for a month during the summer. well im friends with the guy that she might go out with and i dont know why but i like him and of course i like her theyre my good friends but i dont like them together. its like a guy feeling that its not right and that its uncomfortable. plus if they break up what the hell am i going to do? im friends with both of them and the guy is friends with all of our friends, itll ruin our group! and make things awkward! what should i do, is this normal, and any advice you can give! thanks!!!!! (will rate 5s)

It seems to me that you just really like this guys and maybe you are jealous and your friend might get him and not you. Well didn't you ever think that if you got in the way and you got him and she didn't that it would ruin your group also I think you should just let it go and what happens happens and whoever he wants to be with he will choose for all you know he may like you also but don't give up and let him know you like him with some flirting cause unless she has him it is all fair game so get on it.

Good Luck,
Hope I helped

(If you want more of my advice e-mail me at truelovers2104@yahoo.com)

Q: Ok Last yr during the summer I had a serious b/f U kno him. Well we broke up after i cheated. Out of nowhere all these feelings i had are rushing back and i cant control them. I want him back so bad but there is notin i can do to get him back. so how can i get past him and move on.
plz help dc

Well, this is a hard subject because it is always hard to get over someone you love especially your first one. My advice to you would be sit down and think to yourself if you really still love him and you feel he is the one you want to be with forever if he is then talk to him don't tell him directly how you feel try to be friends again and see if he may feel the same way you really need to see where he stands in this if he doesn't feel the same way then that will just help you even more to move on. But I really think the best thing for you right now to to let go of boys all together for a while to get your head together and be alone and just hang with close friends. After a while goes by try to go out with other guys just as friends at first and then see where it goes from there. But the main thing is to have fun and don't waste your time one someone who may be way past this you are better then that and there are tons of guys who would date you.

I hope I helped,
Good Luck

bio

I am cooky crazy and I love to party and have fun. I have brown hair, blue eyes, and I am kinda short. When I get older I hope to become a therapist so I can give everyone advice because that is what I love to do. I am in the 10th grade. Sometimes I can be real jealous about dumb things. I give great advice. And I even can say dumb things that make no sense. But over all I am a great person, advice giver, and friend. If you don't like me then good for you but I love me