I live in Central Wisconsin. I am married and we have two daughters. In 1997 I earned my degree in psychology from the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point. In my spare time I study psychology and philosophy.
Gender: Male
Location: Stevens Point, WI
Occupation: Phlebotomy Coordinator (Clinical Laboratory)
Age: 35
Member Since: October 19, 2005
Answers: 118
Last Update: January 24, 2010
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I just started a construction type job and I am the youngest, the smallest, the least experienced, and one of only two women on the crew. I do not have the size or strength to do the heavier stuff so the other female and I do small jobs to make it easier for the men to do large jobs. I pull my weight and the boss is satisfied with me. But the guys are being awfully condescending, perhaps unintentionally, but still annoying. They do things like pat me on the head, arm or back and tell me what a "good little worker" I am. I really resent it, but I don't know how to tell them so without making them angry with me. Should I ignore them (the job only lasts for another few days) or tell them to quit somehow, and if I tell them to quit, how do I do that and still maintain good work relationships with them? (link)
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Right now they are judging you by your age and appearance and treating you accordingly (from their point of view). Don't take offense. I was going to advise you to continue to work hard and work smart, and that soon enough these guys will see you differently and treat you with the respect you deserve. However, since the job only lasts a few more days, I don't think you're going to have enough time to see any change in them.
Just remember for the future that first impressions are unavoidable and are usually revised after you spend some time together.
Dr. Chad
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Well, I was born in Europe and then I moved here in America. My family and I had to start all over again. My parents had to find new jobs, buy a new home, cars and everything. Now, we're living life like normal people and we have more then most people.
Neather of my parents went to collage because thier families couldn't afford it back thenI love my mom to death but I feel like she's working soo hard just to make us happy. My dad had a great job and he's very happy with it but I feel so sorry for my mom. She cleans for a living.. I know it's sad but I feel so bad. Sometimes I just wish I was more supportive and that I didn't argue with her so much because she works SO hard for us & at times I can be ungrateful for the things I have but I always want more.
Since she didn't go to collage, is there any way she can get a new and better job. She always talks to me about how she just wants me & my brother to do good in school and someday that we will be very succesful. I don't want her to wake up everyday for the next 20 years going to work and clean! I want my mom to be happy just like we are and not have to do what she hates for the rest of her life.
I try to be a great kid and not argue and help out but I'm just a regular 14 year old teenager and it's normal to fight with parents but after that I feel soo bad and sorry for her.
Any advice on this? I get tears in my eyes just thinking about her. I want her to be happy and do something that she loves. I want her to get a better job but that seems to be hard for her. (link)
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Many paths lead to happiness in life. Perhaps your Mom doesn't have the greatest career, but it sounds as if she isn't counting on her job to give meaning and happiness to her life.
Rather, she is counting on her children for that. For her, working hard and earning money is worthwhile if it provides the opportunity for you and your brother to achieve more than she was able to.
The key phrase in your description is, "She always talks to me about how she just wants me & my brother to do good in school and someday be very successful."
That is how you can help her be happy. She lives for you and through you, which is not uncommon for parents, even the ones with wildly successful careers.
You are a wonderful daughter and your Mom is very proud of you. Just keep doing what you're doing, and everything will be fine. You have a good heart, and your mom is very lucky to have a daughter who loves her so much.
Dr. Chad
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Hello there,
I'd like to thank whoever is gonna give me advice in advance.
Anyway, I've always had this problem:
I'm the president of the Student Council, and honestly I expected people, including my friends, to be happy for me.
However, two of my friends ( a boy and a girl), who are also on the Student council, started rumors about me being a show off and reminding the teachers about the homework, eventhough it's not true.
The boy's girlfriend is on the Student Council too, and I wanted to ask for her opinion about something. And as soon as I even opened my mouth, he cut me off! And stupid me didn't say anything! Not "Please man, I'm talking to her", nothing!
And on the same day, we had a "crazy dress up" competition and the Student Council members had to judge.
I was dressed as a gypsy, and was wearing a red shirt, red bandana, and red sandals. So from the beginning of the day, he keeps trying to provoke me: "Is it Valentine's day today or what?"
All I said was "What do you have against me?" and I walked away from him.
And in front of everyone, EVERYONE, he practically yells at me saying: "This crazy dress up must've been your idea!"
I just stared at him and walked away again.
And guess what? The crazy dress up day wasn't my idea! It was the other girl's idea and he would've known if he was even paying attention in the meetings! And guess what else? I didn't say that to him!
So my question is: How can I show this guy, whom I've known for almost 5 years, that he's being immature and is disrespecting me and hurting my feelings? :(
And how can I tell the other girl that I know what she's been saying about me? (link)
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This guy PERCEIVES you as stuck up, and he is trying to cut you down to size. I realize you don't agree with his assessment of you, but you must acknowledge that "perception is reality" and that he will continue to think you are arrogant and continue to take shots at you until you change his mind about you.
One way to change his mind about you is to DELIBERATELY act humble and unassuming. Since you are president of the Student Council, you are in a perfect position to show this guy how humble and unassuming you can be. When the council has an event or a problem to discuss, you should deliberately seek other's ideas first, listen to them carefully, and then give your idea last. If this guy has a good idea, praise his idea during the council meeting (simply, "That's a good idea, [name]," will do nicely). If you don't want to say it during the meeting, then come up to him afterward.
He seems to think you don't take him seriously, or respect his ideas, or some such offence. Whether you do or not doesn't really matter. What matters is his perception of you. I'm willing to bet he will "change his tune" if you change the way you treat/approach him. By doing this you will be developing your leadership skills as well as strengthening your control of the council.
Leadership skill will get you far in the business world, much farther than a degre alone will take you. Now is the time to develop your skill. If you like to read, the first book I recommend to aspiring leaders is John Maxwell's "21 Irrefutable Laws Of Leadership". Although Maxwell is an ordained minister, his Laws of Leadership are not religious or theological. I am an atheist and I endorse every principle in that book.
I will leave you with this: My favorite Law from Maxwell's book is:
"Power is influence. Nothing more, nothing less."
What it says about your situation is that as long as you don't have this guy on your side, you will have no influence over him, hence no power. And as president, you need to have power (a.k.a. influence) to get things done. Also, so long as he continues to disrespect you publicly, you will continue to lose influence with the rest of your council. You'd better make him change his mind about you soon.
Dr. Chad
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okay i am 14/f in case it matters
okay well you see, my cousins from arizona came up for christmas and new years to visit us. one is 16 and the other is 22. well they came up and they were staying at my grandmas hosue. well i wanted to hang out with them so i figured id spend the night (by the way both of my cousins are guys). anyways so i got there and my grandparents werent there. my cousins said that they went to dinner 2 hours away at some really fancy returaunt. well, they took me upstairs and they told me to sit ont the bed. they started kissing me and slowy putting their hands down my pants and up my shirt. since i had never had a real boyfriend befor they told me that they were only showing me what to expect when i had one. so thye kept doing all this stuff to me and made me do some weird stuff to them and practically forced me to have sex with them.
i know its wrong and that i should tell someone one but what wiill people say when i tell them i had sex with my cousins? please help me idont know what to do =(
♥ ~*me*~ ♥ (link)
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Children are sexually assaulted more often than most people realize, and most often they are assaulted by a family member.
What happened to you is not uncommon. One of the reasons it happens so much is because the victims keep quiet, and the abuser goes unpunished. If they get away with it this time, what's to stop them from doing it to some other girl?
Fortunately, in recent years, victims have been speaking up about their abuse, and the abusers have been stopped in their tracks. Even if you and your parents decide to "keep it in the family" and not contact the police, your cousins will still receive the scorn of their family for their criminal behavior. That alone might be enough to deter them from trying it again.
If you keep quiet and your cousins get away clean, this assault will be the beginning of a pattern for them. Next time they will force a girlfriend to have sex. Maybe after that it will be a girl on a first date, or just someone they picked up at a party. Eventually they could be arrested for rape and thrown in jail. If you speak up, you can stop this before the pattern develops.
Most of the other Advicenators have given you the same good advice. I hope you tell somebody. It's the right thing to do.
Dr. Chad
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my boyfriend and i have been going out for a little under a year. i love him so much and care about him and i found out that he's been doing something i dont really approve of. but its not what hes doing that upsets and worries me, its that he's been lying to me about it, and then said he's never lied to me. i dont know if i can trust him anymore. i dont want him doing what hes doing, but if he's going to i want to know about it because i dont like being lied to. i want to talk to him but i have no idea what to say? any ideas? i really care about him and love him and don't want anything to happen to him. :-\ (link)
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He either doesn't trust himself with alcohol or he believes that you wouldn't trust him with it. Either way, his keeping it from you is an indication of the direction his drinking may be taking. Realistically, you can't expect him to abstain until he's twenty-one. You can only ask him to continue to be responsible, never drink and drive or hitch a ride with someone who's been drinking. And tell him you believe that honesty in a relationship is a sign of respect.
Dr. Chad
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I was shopping yesterday and I bought a shirt and my total was 17 dollars and something cents. Well I grabbed into my wallet and thought I pulled out a 20 and gave it to the casher.
I don't know if she wasn't paying attention or what but after she put the bill into the register, she asked me what I gave her. I said it was a 20 because I thought it was.
When I was at home I was looking through my wallet and I REALIZED THAT I GAVE HER A 100 DOLLAR BILL!
Now I don't know if it's too late to go back tomorrow and see if I can get my money back. Would they give it to me??
(link)
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If you gave her 100 dollars, her drawer will be 80 over. If the manager is honest, he will return your eighty dollars. Also, often there is a video camera trained on the counter and register, which should show her putting the bill in the cash drawer. If you gave her a c-note, and she put it where it belongs, that will be evident on the tape, proving it was you who gave her the extra 80 bucks.
Finally, as a side note, cashiers are supposed to lay bills sideways across the cash drawer while they make change, and only place the bills in the drawer afterward, simply to protect the business from scam artists who like to claim they gave the cashier a bigger bill. Had this girl followed protocol, she wouldn't have had to ask you what you gave her, and she would have given you the correct change. It's so hard to find decent help these days. Good luck.
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I dont know who I am, and if i do i dont like it, i hurt someone who meant a lot to me and i kept doing it and i hate who i am, i'm not even quite sure who i am, my friend doesnt want to be friends with me anymore and i cant stop crying i dont really know what to do and how do i found out who i am????? (link)
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Some say our actions (and words) reflect who we are. Try apologizing to your friend. This is an action that will reveal a different side of you, perhaps a side you will like better.
Dr. Chad
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Hi Dr. Chad
I have a kind of long and complicated question, and I'm asking you because you are actually one of the best columnists on this site and are very intelligent, in my humble opinion.
Okay, well it's about a man that I've been friends with for the last 3 years. He is married, and has been married to this woman for the last decade. They are completly miserable together. She is ten years older than him and has two grown kids from her first marriage. I actually even think she's a grandma. She is 53 and he is 43. They have never had a child together. She is (not to be mean) really unnatractive, not just from the outside but the inside too. Her grown kids have both stolen thousands of dollars from her husband(my friend). They are also herion addicts. She is always taking her kids side no matter what they do. She is a chain smoker and spends alot of her money on bingo and gambling. He hates smoking and is pretty careful with the money. She also yells at him and controls his money and who he hangs out with. I honestly don't even think they have sex anymore, and if they did she is the one to always inititat.
Okay, so now you know about his rocky marriage.
So heres the part where I come in.
Well I am 27 and a Christian and still a virgin who is saving herself for marriage. He knows this of course. We met each other 3 years ago at a party. We've been good friends and have never crossed the line, but we are both very attracted to each other. I've seen him looking at me with these large sad eyes when his wife was sitting next to him. I always would catch him starting and looking at me, not in a lusty way but a look of tenderous that pierced my heard. I feel i may even love him and he loves me.
The problem is that two months ago he phoned me and said that he and his wife were moving to their first home together in another state. They had to move for a job in the oil camp. This is because their business was failing. I was really upset and said that we would probably never see each other again, but then he got upset and said that he would still see me. He also gave me his old computer before he left, I didnt already have one and this would be a way for us to contact each other.
I know that his wife can't stand me. Well it's pretty much mutual although I have never told him this.
But I feel even though we both secretly love each other that he is too chicken shit to leave his wife even though she makes him miserable.
I told him last summer that I would love to have kids one day. I didnt say with him but it was implied because I blushed and then he said I would make a great mother.
Time is passing by and I don't know how much more of this I can take. Sometimes we don't talk for months at a time.
What do you think I should do? (link)
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Dear Hopeful,
Thank you for trusting me with your story. I hope I can help you find your way through this heartache.
I suppose that you, in your heart-of-hearts, already know that he isn't going to leave her for you, at least not anytime soon. But perhaps you can't understand why, and that is the question that causes you the most pain.
We can only guess at his state of mind, but you did list some facts which indicate his level of commitment in his marriage:
* They have been married for ten years. I believe most divorces occur in the first five years, so their relationship, regardless of how it looks from the outside, is durable, to say the least.
* They just bought a house. Buying a house indicates long-term commitment, especially when the purchase is made after ten years of marriage. They needed to plan for this and save money for a down-payment.
* They moved to a different state. Moving out of state also indicates a long-term commitment.
I believe that if he wasn't committed to his wife, he wouldn't have made these major life changes with her.
On the other hand, given your description of him, I believe his affection for you is sincere. He has valued your friendship and shown respect for you as a person. I believe you may have filled an empty spot in his heart. Clearly there is something missing from his marriage, and perhaps he was able to compensate for that through your friendship. If this is the case, then he (unwittingly) found a way to meet his need and still keep his marriage afloat. This doesn't make him selfish, just human. He probably doesn't even realize what his motivation is.
A marriage is probably the most complex relationship two people can enter into, and the dynamic that holds it together is impossible to define. I'll bet your friend and his wife, if pressed for an explanation as to what keeps them together, would have differing explanations, and both would probably be insufficient, even contradictory. Although we cannot describe what keeps their marriage going, we have to acknowledge the aforementioned facts and consider the likelihood that he isn't going to file for divorce any time soon.
One option you have is to stay in touch with him via email and phone calls, and HOPE he comes to his senses or grows a set of ... well, you know. You will be placing all your faith in him, putting all your money on a longshot. You believe there is a remote (remote!) chance he will actually leave her and you will finally have your happy ending. Love is blind, miracles do occur, and wouldn't it be awful if you missed your chance at happiness?
My advice is this: Call him and tell him exactly how you feel about him. Just let it all pour out. You will feel better, and he will know, in no uncertain terms, where he stands with you. Next, (and this will be the hard part), wish him and his wife the best of luck in their future, and then bid him farewell. Tell him you need to end your friendship and move on with your life, because waiting for a dim chance at a future with him is too painful and too lonely. Let him know that the only circumstance under which you ever expect to hear from him again is if he is single.
I believe you need to let this man go. They say if you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't come back, then it was never yours to begin with.
You need to realize that much of your hopes and dreams of a future with this man have been fueled by, well, hopes and dreams...and little else. To my knowledge, he has never asked you to wait for him to leave his wife, as well he shouldn't, as it would be a selfish request, and he doesn't sound like a selfish man.
For what it's worth, I don't believe there is just one person out there for us. They say a successful marriage is about BEING the right person, not FINDING the right person. You have described yourself as loving, romantic, moral, sensible, and attractive (prettier than his wife, right? ;-) ). Someday soon, perhaps sooner than you think, you are going to meet a wonderful, AVAILABLE man who will fall in love with you and ask for your hand in marriage, and you two will live happily ever after. Or something like that.
Pick up the phone and make the call.
Warmest regards and best wishes,
Dr. Chad
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how do i get rid of negative and suicidal thoughts?? im always righting depressing poems and wanting to die.. what can i do to stop myself? (link)
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You've been keeping your feelings to yourself. Creative expression such as writing poetry can provide an outlet for such feelings, but in your case it isn't doing the trick.
You need to express your feelings.
Try publishing your poetry online. Join a poetry-writing online group or create a website.
Better yet, go to Open Mike Night and READ YOUR POETRY OUT LOUD!!!
Dr. Chad
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hi my name is jess im 13. well i constantly have these feelings that i wamt to die and i have no purpose for life. i play as many sports as u could think okso thats not really helping. i get really stressed easily and i cut myself once over a boy. I really need the best ways to handle it im getting really stressed and i cant enjoy myself. if theres any way i can handle it without having to talk to someone because i would sound stupid. please help
jess (link)
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Your thoughts are not truly suicidal.
Your strongest source of personal identity has been playing sports. It sounds as if you haven't tried much else, and you've become bored with just being a "jock", hence your lack of a sense of purpose.
Right now you are adrift in the sea of identity formation. Who are you? Who will you become? Once upon a time you cut yourself over a boy because you wanted to try it out, see if that's who you are, a cutter. You found out it did nothing for you. So you aren't a cutter.
You play sports, perhaps well, but that isn't enough for you. There's more to you, Jess, and you are desparate to discover yourself.
Free yourself from the rigid role you have been playing. Allow yourself to pursue whatever interests you, regardless of the stereotype.
My advice is to cut back on athletics and try some other extra-curricular activities.
Keep searching, don't give up, and you will come to know yourself like never before. It's all a part of adolescence. Everyone goes through it.
Dr. Chad
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I'm 27 years old and my ten year highschool reunion is coming up in the new year. Well I feel that by my age I should have acomplished more than I have.
For one thing, I'm still single and don't own my own home or have children. I thought by now that I'd be married, have either a successful career or be a housewife.
All I have is a ten year old car, a small appartment that I rent, a part time job that doesnt pay that good, and some nice furniture and lots of movies, cds, and large television and computer. Maybe I shouldnt complain, I guess things could be worse. Some people from my class are in jail, or had to move back in with there parents for financial reasons, or became single parents.
How can I feel better about myself so when I do go to the reunion I won't sound like such a loser? (link)
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Relax. You're in your tweens. Lots of your classmates are enjoying the same freedom that you are. The culture has changed in the past twenty years, and more young adults are combining the fun-loving freedom of their teenage years with the advantages of adulthood and an income....and they are putting off the burden of marriage, family, and a serious career to enjoy themselves. They call it the tweens, and it can last until their early thirties. Don't worry, you won't be the only one there enjoying yourself!
Dr. Chad
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At the begining of the year my biology honors teacher had us fill out a form about us. It asked what we wanted to be careerwise. I put that I wanted to be a journalist. The other day he read off what everyone wanted to be. The other kids wanted to be surgeons, and marine biologists..all really important things. When he got to my name he said "Journalist!....Good luck with that. She'll never get a job"
I was so embarassed! Everyone else had really important careers picked out and mine was so stupid. I'm not sure if I want to be a journalist anymore but now I have no idea what I want to do. I have to look at colleges next year and I have no clue what I want to major in. Can anyone help me? (link)
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His comment might have been directed at the job market for journalists, not at your talent or qualifications. If being a journalist is what interests you, then you definitely need to pursue that further. Don't let off-hand remarks determine your future.
Dr. Chad
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hey you guys. im wayyyy over stressed and i really cant seem to find anyway to take my mind off things and just relax? does anyone have any tips? also, i cant seem to sleep anymore are there any tricks you guys use to get to sleep? please dont say go by some sleep aid or whatever cause my mom wont buy them for me. thanks
oh and im 15/f if that means anything. thanks! (link)
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This will sound paradoxical, but one way to fall asleep is to try to stay awake. Think about it--when you can't fall asleep, you lay there concentrating on falling asleep, but your effort usually results in a level of attention that prevents your brain from reaching the hypnotic state which immediately preceeds sleep. You probably also get anxious, worried that you're not going to fall asleep. The anxiety also prevents your brain from reaching the hypnotic state.
Instead, get comfortable, breathe slowly and deeply, focus on one spot on your ceiling, or focus on your alarm clock, and try as hard as you can to stay awake. If your eyes close, open them back up and fight the urge to sleep. If your mind wanders, that's good. Let your imagination go where it wants, but you must continue to focus on your spot. When you feel your eyelids get heavy, fight it. Try to keep them open. Don't ever give in. Sleep only comes when we're not watching for it.
Dr. Chad
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I really don't like to eat -- I think it's a waste of time and I have always thought that. I eat the bare minimum to survive. Sometimes I get problems (headaches, mental confusion, memory loss, hysteria) because of my blood sugar dropping to nothing because I haven't eaten. I don't think I'm fat or anything, and my weight, which is within normal limits, has been basically the same since I was 14 (I'm 20 now, and female, incidentally). There are only about 12 foods I like and maybe another 12 I can eat but don't like -- the rest I will not touch no matter how hungry I am. Oh, and when I do eat, about half the time I get really sick later, not on purpose, very painful and embarrassing diarrhea and gas problems.
I honestly don't think it's that big a deal, I'm used to it, but my friends are disturbed by my behavior when they eat with me, or rather when they eat and I pick at my food. Do I have an eating disorder or is it just a quirk? (link)
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You might have a digestive problem that could be diagnosed and treated by a physician. If many kinds of food causes gastric distress, you would certainly feel no love for food. I can understand why your friends would misinterpret your eating behavior, but since you say you aren't obsessed with your weight or appearance, and since you have the gastric problems, I don't believe you have an eating disorder. I suggest you make an appointment with a physician. Perhaps your digestive system is intolerant of certain types of food (similar to lactose intolerace).
Get it checked out.
Dr. Chad
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A friend of one of my friends recently commited suicide, and it's really taking a toll on my friend. (Let's just call her Jane haha) So I've tried talking to Jane, but every time I try to comfort her or w/e she says something really rude or just turns away. I know she's grieving, and I'm trying to tell myself it's nothing personal, but what she's doing is really hurtful. How should I tell her how this makes me feel? Is it too early? (This happened just a couple days ago.) Can anyone tell me how I should try and make her feel better? Thanks. (link)
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Your friend might also be blaming herself for not being a good enough friend to see the suicide coming. If she believes this, then in addition to the normal grieving, she may be punishing herself by not allowing anyone to console her--since from her point of view, she wouldn't deserve to be consoled. If you feel compelled to say something, tell her it's not her fault, and then listen to what she has to say. She might have a lot to get off her chest.
Dr. Chad
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I'm married, and my husband and I rent a house from my parents. I'm 20, and my husband is 21. They've been pretty generous by offering us the house over other renters, and giving us a lower rent. They insist of holding a copy of the house key for emergencies, which is fine with me.
Here's the problem. Lately, they've been letting themselves in without knocking. After my husband and I come home from work and put the baby in bed, we tend to sit around...not completely clothed. More than once now, they've caught us like this; once just walking around naked and twice being intimate.
But maybe worse, they let themselves in when we're not home. I don't think they mean any harm, but they come in, look around, borrow our stuff, and clean.
I'm afraid that they'll find something they don't like and kick us out. I feel that we're adults, and we pay rent, so we deserve some privacy. Am I right that we should have privacy? If so, how should I go about talking to my parents? I don't want to make them feel bad, since I think they're just trying to help. (link)
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You, your husband, and your parents should sign a legally binding lease agreement. A lease gives you certain legal rights as a tenant, including the right to change the locks and not give the owner a key. The owner has no legal right to enter your apartment without your consent. Most people do not realize this. Anyway, sign the contract, and if they don't take the hint from that, go one step further and change the locks. Give the "emergency" key to a neighbor or friend.
The lease agreement also protects you from being wrongfully evicted. The only way they could evict you is by having a judge sign the eviction papers, and a judge won't sign for the wrong reason.
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ok i had a question who is the famous philosopher from way back in,his name starts with a "C" and it's not Confucius
could you please help me look it up?
please and thankyou (link)
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You mean the French philosopher Rene Decartes. The "C" comes from referring to his philosophy as "Cartesian".
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I am a once athiest who has now become agnostic and what I want to know is :
Why do you or why do you not believe in god?
Why should he/she/it be praised?
Why should I believe or not believe in god? (link)
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After a great deal of inquiry and consideration, I chose to be an atheist. I can find no direct evidence of God, and I find the whole phenomenon of belief to be a normal psychological function. We find that we need to believe something, and the world religions have made it easy for us. I find it much more challenging, intellectually, to be an atheist because the world is inconcievably complex, and trying to make sense of it without resorting to "supernatural" explanations is a challenge, albeit an exciting and rewarding one. You will find that there is much in our experience that we can explain without resorting to a god, and what we can't explain yet only provides us with more food for thought. Free inquiry is golden.
Dr. Chad
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I quite often wish that I am more ill than i actually am. I found myself wishing that I could be in hospital over a christmas at some point. I was always ill as a child and spent a lot of last year ill with depression and glandular fever and in a way... i miss it.
I find myself exagerating all aches and pains, I almost like the pain sometimes.
I feel so messed up, do any of you guys ever feel like this? (link)
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The following description is of the syndrome depicted on the show "House". You don't have it--yet. You sound like you're headed in that direction, though.
What is Munchausen syndrome?
Munchausen syndrome is a type of factitious disorder, or mental illness, in which a person repeatedly acts as if he or she has a physical or mental disorder when, in truth, they have caused the symptoms. People with factitious disorders act this way because of an inner need to be seen as ill or injured, not to achieve a concrete benefit, such as financial gain. They are even willing to undergo painful or risky tests and operations in order to get the sympathy and special attention given to people who are truly ill. Munchausen syndrome is a mental illness associated with severe emotional difficulties.
Munchausen syndrome—named for Baron von Munchausen, an 18th century German officer who was known for embellishing the stories of his life and experiences—is the most severe type of factitious disorder. Most symptoms in people with Munchausen syndrome are related to physical illness—symptoms such as chest pain, stomach problems, or fever—rather than those of a mental disorder.
Note: Although Munchausen syndrome most properly refers to a factitious disorder with primarily physical symptoms, the term is sometimes used to refer to factitious disorders in general. In this article, Munchausen syndrome refers to factitious disorder with physical symptoms.
What are the symptoms of Munchausen syndrome?
People with this syndrome deliberately produce or exaggerate symptoms in several ways. They might lie about or fake symptoms, hurt themselves to bring on symptoms, or alter diagnostic tests (such as contaminating a urine sample). Possible warning signs of Munchausen syndrome include the following:
Dramatic but inconsistent medical history
Unclear symptoms that are not controllable and that become more severe or change once treatment has begun
Predictable relapses following improvement in the condition
Extensive knowledge of hospitals and/or medical terminology, as well the textbook descriptions of illnesses
Presence of multiple surgical scars
Appearance of new or additional symptoms following negative test results
Presence of symptoms only when the patient is alone or not being observed
Willingness or eagerness to have medical tests, operations, or other procedures
History of seeking treatment at numerous hospitals, clinics, and doctors offices, possibly even in different cities
Reluctance by the patient to allow health care professionals to meet with or talk to family, friends, or prior health care providers
Problems with identity and self-esteem
From: http://www.clevelandclinic.org/health/health-info/docs/2800/2821.asp?index=9833
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I am Catholic..but I very interested in finding out about different religions..is that weird? hah
My question is: How many sects (right word?) does the Protestant church branch out to? (ex: Baptist, Methodist, Lutherans, etc..) How are their beliefs different from the other Protestant sects..(ex: How are Baptists different from Presbyterians?..etc) How are they all different from the Catholic Church?
Thanks so much! (link)
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My advice is simple and invaluable: All the answers to your questions (plus much, much more) can be found at www.beliefnet.com.
You're welcome.
Dr. Chad
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