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boyfriend doing something i dont approve of
my boyfriend and i have been going out for a little under a year. i love him so much and care about him and i found out that he's been doing something i dont really approve of. but its not what hes doing that upsets and worries me, its that he's been lying to me about it, and then said he's never lied to me. i dont know if i can trust him anymore. i dont want him doing what hes doing, but if he's going to i want to know about it because i dont like being lied to. i want to talk to him but i have no idea what to say? any ideas? i really care about him and love him and don't want anything to happen to him. :-\
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well i think you should go straight up to him and say okay now listen youre gonna start telling me the truth and your gonna stop drinking...if not were through. If you dont wanna do that then you could calmly explain to him that this is really bugging you ... Hope I Helped!!
-Samantha Lynn
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He either doesn't trust himself with alcohol or he believes that you wouldn't trust him with it. Either way, his keeping it from you is an indication of the direction his drinking may be taking. Realistically, you can't expect him to abstain until he's twenty-one. You can only ask him to continue to be responsible, never drink and drive or hitch a ride with someone who's been drinking. And tell him you believe that honesty in a relationship is a sign of respect.
Dr. Chad
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well atleast he finally told you...
but it's not good that he lied about it in the first place. I have been in his position tho. I lied to my bf about something because i was afraid he would be mad, and it wound up making everything worse. He eventually forgave me, but i still feel terrible about lying. So basically what I'm trying to say is that even though there is no excuse for lying, he prob didnt do it because he doesnt care about you, just because he was scared and didnt know what else to do.
Tell him that it hurts to be lied to, and that you only don't like what he's doing because you care about him. Tell him he has to earn your trust back. If he sounds sincere, forgive him, but if he lies to you again then im not so sure about this guy.
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Honesty is the biggest thing you need to have in a relationship. Drinking is more then stupid, exspeccially under age. It cna get bad and he could get caught and his life may get ruined. I think you should say to him that you know he has been drinking and that he has been lying to you. And that if he doesn't tell you the truth.. well hunn... you should take a break from him. It may hurt but it will help. If he confesses, say that he neeeds to stop and tell him the consequesnces if caught. I know that he could go to jail. Belive me, this will help him and YOU!
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Trust is very important in a relationship, as you know.
Why not try writing down what you feel about it and just give it to him to read? After he reads it then you can discuss it.
Be sure and tell him how important honesty is in a relationship. Tell him how you are concerned about what might happen should he get caught.
Let him know you don't approve, but would rather know about it. And let him know why you don't approve too. Tell him how you feel about him.
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tell him all that you just told us. guys need trust, if you can't trust your guy, then who can you trust? tell him that you love him, and even though you don't approve of what he's doing, you will still love him as long as he always tells you the truth about what he's doing.
(just a hint: names and stuff are always kept secret unless you tell them, it might've helped if you had told what he did)
-i hope it all works out-
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Well in a relationship you guys need trust, and if he's doing something you don't approve of and then LIES about it, you shouldn't be with him. If you already told him you don't like it and he won't stop then tell him you're not going to be with him anymore because of it. If he starts lying to you now, who knows what he'll do later on in your relationship, and if he really loves you he'll stop what he's doing so you won't be upset about it anymore.
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tell him you don't like what he's doing, and if he care about you and loves you too, he should respect that. the trust thing is hard because you trusted him and he lied to you and betrayed that trust and he will probably get mad at you if you tell him you're having a hard time trusting him, if you tell him. If y'all can talk and work this out, the trust will have to be reestablished and that could take time but if you really love and care about each other you will take the time to do that. :)
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