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Too weak
Hello there,
I'd like to thank whoever is gonna give me advice in advance.
Anyway, I've always had this problem:
I'm the president of the Student Council, and honestly I expected people, including my friends, to be happy for me.
However, two of my friends ( a boy and a girl), who are also on the Student council, started rumors about me being a show off and reminding the teachers about the homework, eventhough it's not true.
The boy's girlfriend is on the Student Council too, and I wanted to ask for her opinion about something. And as soon as I even opened my mouth, he cut me off! And stupid me didn't say anything! Not "Please man, I'm talking to her", nothing!
And on the same day, we had a "crazy dress up" competition and the Student Council members had to judge.
I was dressed as a gypsy, and was wearing a red shirt, red bandana, and red sandals. So from the beginning of the day, he keeps trying to provoke me: "Is it Valentine's day today or what?"
All I said was "What do you have against me?" and I walked away from him.
And in front of everyone, EVERYONE, he practically yells at me saying: "This crazy dress up must've been your idea!"
I just stared at him and walked away again.
And guess what? The crazy dress up day wasn't my idea! It was the other girl's idea and he would've known if he was even paying attention in the meetings! And guess what else? I didn't say that to him!
So my question is: How can I show this guy, whom I've known for almost 5 years, that he's being immature and is disrespecting me and hurting my feelings? :(
And how can I tell the other girl that I know what she's been saying about me?
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This guy PERCEIVES you as stuck up, and he is trying to cut you down to size. I realize you don't agree with his assessment of you, but you must acknowledge that "perception is reality" and that he will continue to think you are arrogant and continue to take shots at you until you change his mind about you.
One way to change his mind about you is to DELIBERATELY act humble and unassuming. Since you are president of the Student Council, you are in a perfect position to show this guy how humble and unassuming you can be. When the council has an event or a problem to discuss, you should deliberately seek other's ideas first, listen to them carefully, and then give your idea last. If this guy has a good idea, praise his idea during the council meeting (simply, "That's a good idea, [name]," will do nicely). If you don't want to say it during the meeting, then come up to him afterward.
He seems to think you don't take him seriously, or respect his ideas, or some such offence. Whether you do or not doesn't really matter. What matters is his perception of you. I'm willing to bet he will "change his tune" if you change the way you treat/approach him. By doing this you will be developing your leadership skills as well as strengthening your control of the council.
Leadership skill will get you far in the business world, much farther than a degre alone will take you. Now is the time to develop your skill. If you like to read, the first book I recommend to aspiring leaders is John Maxwell's "21 Irrefutable Laws Of Leadership". Although Maxwell is an ordained minister, his Laws of Leadership are not religious or theological. I am an atheist and I endorse every principle in that book.
I will leave you with this: My favorite Law from Maxwell's book is:
"Power is influence. Nothing more, nothing less."
What it says about your situation is that as long as you don't have this guy on your side, you will have no influence over him, hence no power. And as president, you need to have power (a.k.a. influence) to get things done. Also, so long as he continues to disrespect you publicly, you will continue to lose influence with the rest of your council. You'd better make him change his mind about you soon.
Dr. Chad
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listen,
just tell them
"i don't appriciate this. your acting retarted and its pissing me off. got it? so you can either straighten up, or get messed up okay?"
my friend had the same problem & that worked for her :)
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see, first of look at yourself, you have been got disturbed by his activities or words or actions or what so ever, why you got disturbed, there is something withing you wants to show who you are to your friend. you may settle this person and prove who you are only if he is willing to listen you. definetiely it is not inyour hands right now. one factor he may be insecure or you are too fast. any way if you really want him to understand you, then you must win his trust or confidence. and you should not get hurt for his actions or illtreatments. this can be easily done if you see him and accept him as a little child who wants to show that he is boss to everybody. this kind of people are all over the world. definetily you cannot convience every body. if you are silent and calm and smile everytime when u meet him, then slowly things started changing, how much time he can tease you. definetiely when he sees no response from you he has no business with you. he cannot be sit quitely with you if he lost his tool of teasing. however, you will come out of irritation and become compassion on him. i can quote many things, that said by saints and sages but one famous quote will be available all over the world. once jesus said- love thy neighbour. if you can love your neighbour you can love anybody in the world. because only he can disturb you at any time. conflits are happinening with neibures , neiburing countries
not with the person who is faraway. you can love your god, jesus, buddha, krishna or anybody or even me. you will not have any problem in executing this. first look at yourself and find what disturbing him mostly, if you take care and express care on him thro your actions, emotions, etc simple gifts (even if he tease u for that)slowly things definitely starts changing. even if it not changing, you won't feel hurted but you will learn new things from him atleast how you should not. just for this you can live gratututily for him in whole life time .best wishes for you, you can contact me at my mail or thro this if youwish
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I know how you feel. I've been through this too. Heres what you need to do aboutt he rumors. When someone comes up to you and asks "omg is it tru that ____blah__blah__blah" be like "who said that?" and then once they tell you be like "oh well i heard that(make up a rumor about whoever made the rumor up about you)" and then they'll go off telling everyone what you just told him. so now you turned the tables around and theres a rumor about her.And as for the guy-next time he says anything to you come up with a come back. Don't be scared to stand up for your self. If you never say anything then you won't change anything. So tell him something like "I feel sorry for you that you have to be so immature to get attention" or this is what i did to this one girl who made me really mad. get a dollar and bring it to school. When he comes up to and says something get out your dollar and be like "Heres a dollar go by a life" or just hit him. lol thats another option that usually works. most likely this guy is just jealous of you that is why he is making fun of you. so yea whatever you do i hope it turns out good.
good luck!
xoxoxo
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DO NOT BEAT THEM UP as skater suggested. Bad, bad, bad. You get caught / turned in, and you're out of the school for a while. Suspended or even expelled. No. No fighting.
Outside of school, in a relaxed, private situation, pull the girl aside and ask her why there are rumors going around about you. Ask her why the boy is being so rude. (Don't say anything that would be considered offensive or harsh. Don't call anyone names. Then they'll just be pissed off at you.) Ask her if it was his idea to spread rumors and if they're jealous. Ask if you hurt her feelings.
As for the guy, ask him to meet you somewhere. Somewhere that there will not be a lot of people to overhear, but so you're not totally alone. Tell him gently that he hurt your feelings. Let him know, kindly, that you feel disrespected and you're afraid that you're going to lose his friendship.
It'll be hard - VERY hard - to be kind and gentle when dealing with these people, but remember to keep your voice down and your head calm. If you're hotheaded about it, they'll come back with three times the hotheadedness. But if you're gentle and cool, there's more of a chance they'll listen to you because you are non threatening.
-FunnyCide
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juss tell him that. he seems like a complete jerk anyway so don't pay attention to him. he really seems immature & juss tell him all this & then ignore him. he's not gonna be any more mature about it so you can't expect anything better from him. maybe you should explain to the other people on student council about it, but maybe not his gf because she'll probably be on his side anyways. they might all take your side & try to talk to him about it. if not juss ignore him because he's immature.
-hope that helped!♥
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i have only one advice i can give to you ok "revenge is a plate served with a smile" that is a beautiful saying you can learn alot from...either tell your friend the way you feel(chicken)....or beat them up(my way)...well just talk to them first and if the person decides to go on i would take revenge
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